My mom made this recipe on special occasions when she needed to feed a crowd. A crowd pleaser and total labor of love. I didn't even try to guess the time on prep for this recipe but last time mom made 12 for just her, me and Pat (her spouse) she said the prep clocked in at 3 hours.
I started saying this at Glowing Goddess Getaway events when I would be stationed at the Glow Bar helping goddesses decide how they wanted to consume cannabis. Being a loud gal, I hollered out "Are you as high as you want to be?" as an enthusiastic way to remind folks they came to unwind.
But it's also a good reminder for yourself to actually set an intention for how high you want to be BEFORE you consume. You can always get more high, it's really hard to get less high!
The three main resources all of us have available to us are our time, treasure and talent.
Much like our beloved mushroom friends function as an underground network of mycelium, I try to move my resources and nutrients very intentionally between places that matter to me.
I think going into family gatherings with a list of compromise, fairly neutral media to screen together is a good idea. (My family loved to go to the movies together on visits.)*
I find it easiest to deal with folks like that to focus on what we have in common. I think this documentary could create some family harmony for potentially up to 1 hour and 47 minutes.
My intention with this piece is to teach anyone who is trepidatious about going to a gathering some of my favorite tools for hard conversations and difficult people. I've been working on healing from social anxiety intentionally for nearly five years and I've learned a lot about how to release defensiveness and needing to be "right" which helps a lot with harmonizing conversations.
It can be so hard to know how to deal with death and kids in a society that is pathologically afraid of genuine feelings, especially the sad and hard feelings. But the basics are--let's teach kids how to feel bravely so they can grow up and not have to reparent themselves like the rest of us have had to.
American democracy is getting it wrong. It represents corporations and highest bidders, ignores the will of the people.
I've been brewing my own ideas about a new form of government and I am going to dream out loud with y'all.
Six years ago if you'd asked me about attending weekly Sunday services I would have said, "Unlikely!" Now I got to two different church services on Sundays! Rest assured I only attend services where all seekers are welcomed and valued.
I am really obsessed with making milkshake drinks out of frozen bananas and so proud of myself about figuring out a good pumpkin pie flavor profile.
I have been with Verizon on and off for most of my cellular years. (24 total.)
At some point a few years ago I remember wondering how my bill got to over a hundred dollars and then it got to over $130. I would routinely call to see what I could do but that was pretty consistent.
Three years ago I heard about Visible mobile, which is owned by Verizon. I’m pretty sure the concept of it is for gay people who don’t have access to the savings of a family plan.
Many of us are not in touch with family of origin and our kinship networks are not always financial. I think that’s going to change in the coming years as we realize the power of pooling our money and creating consumer groups.
I was nervous about switching carriers especially because I live in the forest, where the only cell towers that seem to work are on the Verizon or AT&T networks.
I brought my own phone, which was paid off and not part of the $130+ a month. On that I was paying about $15 insurance for my phone, which I couldn’t start again at Visible. (But you can get if you finance a phone through them.)
The change process was straightforward and I handled it myself. I remember hitting one stumbling block and their online chat helped me figure it out.
It’s been over a year and my service has been exactly the same as it was at regular Verizon and my bill is exactly $25 a month (no taxes to me!), deducted on the same day of the month. I have traveled and I have been home in the woods and both are the same as it was before.
Occasionally they offer a pay ahead for a year deal and save some money but I haven’t been flush with cash enough to do it.
I pay as little as possible to big corporations so I can pay more to small businesses. I spent more than my monthly cell phone bill buying a new journal from an artist friend, even though I could have gotten one from a big box store–where you spend money votes for the world you want to see.
Here’s a link to join Visible where you get $20 off your service and I get a $20 service credit. (Or use referral code: 3PNG9H8 ) I was originally going to just post a blog post telling you to go save money on something you’re paying for anyway, but they have a refer a friend program! Let’s win win!
If you find value in this blog, please consider supporting!
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I learn a lot from my intergenerational friendships and my 30 year old pal Laura Brooks said “My job is not my identity” during our first conversation and it blew my mind and changed my life.
When I left my career as an attorney I didn’t have anything I was leaping into other than the temporary monetary cushion of a fiance who wanted me to move to Los Angeles with her and was willing to support my career transition. A lot of times life is like that, we have to leave the familiar for the unknown and then it sorts itself out.
About nine months after the move I had already started working on a tea business, overlapping with that is when I got the idea to start teaching aerobics. I took a class at the World Tea Expo about liability and small product based consumable businesses and knew I couldn’t do it with no capital. Forever learning the Capricorn lesson about not monetizing all of my passions (I remain very passionate about herbs and tea).
Once I started teaching my aerobics class, Fat Kid Dance Party shot off like a rocket. Replacing “I’m an attorney” with “I’m an aerobics instructor” was an ease of mind I didn’t realize I needed.
I also didn’t realize what I was doing was, once again, externalizing my sense of identity and safety outside of myself.
“My job is not my identity” is such an accurate thing to say because, in capitalism, making our identity about how we create capital for the state makes that the most important thing we do. I believe we incarnate on Earth to perfect how we love one another and ourselves. That has more to do with being the best person we can be, not the best at making money or being “successful” in the eyes of capitalism.
Here are all of the ways I experienced income during Summer 2024 (that I can remember):
Patreon memberships
Pet sitting
Cleaning hotel rooms
Personal shopping for health / wellness / home products
Gifts to support my podcast, this blog and other free content I provide on social media
Arts grant panelist (this was 30 hours and intense!)
Sales of my online aerobics video series
In person aerobics classes (but to be accurate I actually went out of pocket for travel to teach in Seattle for 4 out of 5 of the recent classes)
None of these things is my identity!
I’ve been going through a lot emotionally over the past couple years as the revenue from my aerobics class has waned. I don’t know any entrepreneurs who did well financially in 2023 and I ended up getting a couple of gigs to supplement my income, while still doing the same amount of work in my entrepreneurial ventures.
If you’re part of the entrepreneurial “2023 was trash” experience, I highly recommend season 5 of Luvvie Ajayi Jones’ Professional Troublemaker podcast!
I didn’t realize a big part of why it was so hard emotionally was because I put so much of my identity in being “an aerobics instructor” versus just being the best Bevin I can be.
True, figuring out what I was meant to do in the world gave me so much peace. I spent a long time teaching about body liberation and self love without having a thing I could point to that made money from it. And then! Getting to say I made all of my money to live off from my art and activism was such a sweet experience. A dream come true!
True, it took shrinking my needs waaay down by moving to the forest and hardly heating my house in the Winter. But I got to work full time in my passions in a way I always wanted and to be a full time mom to my Feline Overlord, Biscuit Reynolds.
I started this post yesterday and a couple hours later found out one of my steadiest jobs is coming to an end. It’s wildly unsettling to be thrust into the chaos of “Oh I was counting on this thing and now it’s gone” but that’s grief in a nutshell. When I got laid off in 2008 from a lawyer job I had been at for five years I realized that job security is a myth and at any moment everything can change.
I think we all learned during the onset of the quarantine that something we have never heard of before can come through and change everything about our lives.
The only thing consistent in life is uncertainty and I’m proud of myself that my reaction to losing this steady income was to check in with my intuition and reach out to a couple of my besties for moral support. And trust that another stream of income will flourish!
I’m Bevin and that’s enough!
For further listening on this topic, my podcast episode with Jonathan Koe on redefining success is a good one!
If you find value in my blog or my work in the world, please consider supporting!
Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bevin (safe and secure way to buy me a snack!)
Venmo: @bevinb
Cash App: $BevinBoss
Buy my aerobics video! fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party
Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty
Work one on one with me: https://queerfatfemme.com/one-on-one-with-bevin/
Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
You Tube Channel:
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Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into that “astronaut’s” profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9
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We’ve been in this pandemique for four and a half years and to my knowledge I haven’t ever gotten infected with Covid 19, the virus that causes Long Covid.
Of course, half of infections come without symptoms, but it feels nice to say I haven’t felt sick from an external infection, even a common cold, in 5 years*! As a result of the precautions I take!
About every six months I add something new to my repertoire of personal fortification, some of which I’ve blogged about before.
A friend asked me to write up what I’m doing and I thought I’d share with the world wide web because I would LOVE to be a good influence on you.
Immunity is a group project and we would be in a better situation if more folks took personal responsibility for their immune systems and behavior! Every time you get another Covid 19 infection you deplete your immune response and increase your likelihood for long covid! Which makes it harder for everyone else!
Before I see people/interact with people unmasked:
Nasal Spray! I currently use Covyxyl. It briefly (less than a minute) feels like cinnamon in my nose and I use two squirts in each nostril (following the directions on the bottle, and I re apply every 6 hours or when my intuition says I need it). I started nasal sprays for higher risk occasions in Sept 2023. Covyxyl is out of stock so I’m switching to this bee brand that has both xylitol and propolis from bees!
Hard conversations! I will ask for an open window or outdoor hang if I can (it does mean dressing in heavy layers 9 months of the year where I live), I will ask for more social distance from people or just take it if my intuition says I need it.
People who say they are “cautious” mean that in a wide spectrum of ways. My bestie Rachael got Covid the first time from a family member who hadn’t disclosed her risky behaviors. It’s best to be clear with folks what risks you’re willing to take!
At the end of the day (especially after higher risk activities):
I use a mouthwash with CPC! (I use the Glister brand, there are other brands out there.) CPC kills viruses and bacteria you may have breathed in with others after one minute of swishing! At the airport I do it before and after a flight. Even though I mask on planes it’s just such close quarters. (Here’s a guide to covid safer flying.)
Nasal irrigation! I like this version but you could do classic neti pot. Years ago I did this daily for my allergies and was inspired to pick it up again after reading about a study that nasal irrigation can prevent infection and even if someone is infected the symptoms were lessened. (Viral load matters, and of course so-called mild symptoms can still lead to Long Covid.) Nasal irrigation feels a little like drowning momentarily but it’s worth it if I don’t have to deal with getting sick!
Daily Practice:
*Hand washing! My intuition says it’s the most effective thing I can do. 20 seconds, warm water and soap when I can (not everywhere has warm water).
FYI: The Norovirus is rampant (you do not want to get that if you can avoid it, such a distressing 24+ hours) and is only killed through soap and warm water not hand sanitizer.
*Take my vitamins! Here’s what I take that especially helps my immune system prevent Covid:
- Vitamin C extended release
2. Vitamin D (I’ve read this helps prevent hospitalization if you do get C19)
3. Prebiotic (Fiber) and Probiotic, some ayurvedic herbs, fermented superfoods and more (Gut health is immunity health!)
4. CBGA & CBDA through an RSO I get at my local dispensary. About six months ago my intuition shifted me from a 6:1 to a 10:1 CBD:THC ratio. More info on why I use this in this blog post!
5. Ashwagandha for stress (reducing stress supports your immune system)
Not all vitamins/supplements are created equally—it is an unregulated industry and you want to see that your brand is 3rd party verified (my brand is NSF certified and very effective). Costco / drug store brand vitamins are often just peed right out of your body.
(I use additional supplement protocols, book a one on one with me to discuss more. I’m happy to share what I do for my optimal health and help you build your optimal health plan!).
I think being an “outsider” my whole life has given me so much practice being resilient to what people think about me. Being Covid cautious is less stressful than coming out was!
Air purifiers are great! I like to ask venues if they have them before booking (and I disclose that in the ticketing information for my in person Fat Kid Dance Party aerobics classes). I wish we had more widespread air quality requirements for public spaces. We deserve clean air inside just like we have clean filtered water.**
Masking! I still mask 100% of the time in stores, on planes, on public transit and healthcare environments. Vulnerable people matter! All that staying home in 2020 and masking in 2020/2021 was about vulnerable people, right? Why aren’t we still masking in these mandatory environments?***
Mask 4 Mask: If an employee someplace has a mask on I will mask when I interact with them. (I rarely go out to eat but if I did and the waitress had a mask on or the person at the counter had a mask on I would mask when I interacted with them. Or if someone in a drive through was masking I would mask when our windows were open together.)
I don’t mask inside people’s homes unless there’s a present risk (someone has been exposed or is symptomatic). But I rarely enter people’s homes! If something doesn’t feel like a full body yes I don’t do that thing.
I rarely do big events/concerts. (I have gone to 2 big events and 1 concert this year.) When I do I have to be careful about my air flow because I have a history of fainting in crowds. I went to a 10,000 person arena conference in April and tried masking, got woozy to the point of thinking I might faint and decided to rely on my other protocols. I did not get sick!
Everything about this pandemique is about risk assessment and doing our best.
*I deal with ongoing chronic digestive issues that force me to rest, occasional migraines, injuries, and in 2024 an undeniable fatigue which my intuition says is just part of a cycle and I’ll have renewed energy next year. My overall rule is to ask the question “What does my body want?” When she wants rest I give her rest. I think that helps my immune system, too!
** Everyone, everywhere deserves clean water and that’s not even available to every human even though we have the resources. Another rant for another day!!
***To be honest I have very complicated feelings about folks who once masked for moral reasons to protect vulnerable people and now do not. This pandemique has given me on the ground training to not judge people but I feel really let down by the so-called “liberals” who chose to “vax and relax” and abandon vulnerable people. Vaccines help but they don’t prevent being a carrier of covid. I know there was a lot of terrible leadership around pandemique behaviors! I value folks who look at the data and act according to their values, not just what feels comfortable or going along with the crowd.
Please support my blog!
Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bevin (safe and secure way to buy me a snack!)
Venmo: @bevinb
Cash App: $BevinBoss
Buy my aerobics video! fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party
Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty
Work one on one with me: https://queerfatfemme.com/one-on-one-with-bevin/
Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
You Tube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/c/SelfCareParty
Blog: queerfatfemme.com
Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into that “astronaut’s” profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9
Threads, Tik Tok, Twitter: @bevinsparty
Facebook.com/bevinsparty
Like/subscribe/review/send a link to a friend! It all helps!