The relentless pursuit of my joy.

Yesterday as I was entering the forest from my neighborhood Heart of Glass by Blondie started playing. I thought about the first time I was at a party with Debbie Harry.

I have learned a lot from teaching at and attending the virtual retreats these past two months and I wanted to share how I am preparing for it so I can get the most out of what is offered. Do what works for you so that you can get the most out of your virtual retreat experience!

But 2020 happened the way it did, all tours were called off and I was left wondering if maybe I could do an online Bachelorette party. That way, everyone can come, no one has to pay to travel or take out a whole weekend. A couple of hours, some good performances and connection time felt great to me!

I formally adopted a "mononym" in 2018, right around this season. I didn't even know that word at the time but I knew I had a deadline to decide what my name was going to be in the credits of my life's greatest work so far.

Staying home and social distancing was always about protecting other folks; wearing a mask helps others more than it helps you. Just because I'm vaccinated doesn't mean I can't still carry and incubate the Corona.

My blog is dusty and it’s been awhile. A friend of mine said in a throw away comment, “Blogging is dead,” and …

I'm feeling really nourished by all of the fun memories I made in my early adulthood really squeezing the marrow out of life. I think one of my greatest assets in that time was having so much fun!

Rule #1: There's no wrong way to do Fat Kid Dance Party--you already belong with us! Rule #2: We cheer for awkward! Rule #3: If you want to sing along go ahead. If you can't sing, sing loud! Rule #4: We high five for self care!

I wondered whether to share this in my "kid letters" but since the intent is that you'll read these as an adult, and I want you to be empowered and own your sexuality no matter what it ends up being. (And knowing it can change! And that's cool!)

All of this is provided for information purposes only and not a substitute for medical care!

Hi! I’m Bevin! I want to be a good influence on you. I have no agenda for what you do with this information. I want you to feel fully informed and comfortable making whatever choices you want to make with healing! This collage art was a gift by my friend & Astrologer Drey Vibes!

Recently on my podcast I’ve been intentionally connecting with women who use psilocybin for their mental and physical well-being. I put together this treasure map in case that is something you’re considering using to help improve your experience of life.

If you’re curious about healing with fungi this collection of conversations is great for exploring without doing anything yet!

If you haven’t watched the documentary Fantastic Fungi it’s on Netflix right now! It’s worth an understanding of who the mycelium are and what they can offer us as a species. We are all interconnected!

Just like I believe your ideal weight is how much you weigh living a life you actually enjoy, I think your ideal health can be whatever you need in order to live a life you actually enjoy. My biggest suggestion is lots of water and mindfulness practices outside of your use of fungi. It’s not a quick fix it’s an amplification of the mindfulness practices you continue to engage in that encourages the creation of new neural pathways.

You can find most of these episodes on my you tube channel, or find them on Apple/Google podcasts or Spotify (search “Bevin”).

Here’s to healing with plants! And the term Magic Mushrooms because the experience can be legit magic. Sometimes the downloads are pure love and when you’re having a tough time in life it’s so refreshing to feel pure love!

104. (Solo) My Experience with Psilocybin (Magic Mushrooms) for Healing

132. Samantha Montanero who uses psilocybin and other non-psychoactive fungi to recover from a brain injury and is very smart about mushrooms and plant medicine!

128. Jennifer who used psilocybin intentionally for her burn-out recovery and for her regular mental wellness self care days

74. Deidra Bliss on DMT and healing with psychedelics (and all things plant healing)

129. Noemi talks about psilocybin and toad medicine for healing! Plus tapping which helps regardless of plant medicine use!

116. Ashley Manta on using Ketamine for treatment resistant depression!

131. Aunt Mimi who uses psilocybin as part of pain and mental health

117. Kendrra uses psilocybin for her cluster headaches but we didn’t talk much about it. She uses a microdose once a month and once every five days if the headaches aren’t all gone from that once monthly microdose until they go away.

108. A solo episode where I talk about a profound psilocybin journey I had while camping, more like sharing a story of what the fungi taught me!

45. For folks who are new to cannabis this is a solo episode I use to talk about how to have good first time experiences with cannabis for mental health! And for practiced stoners how to level up how potent cannabis feels!

This is an audio recording on you tube of a Clubhouse Roundtable I did with Tokeativity. There are several women who share their experience healing with plant medicine and psychedelics. I come in around the 50 minute mark and I bring the party (naturally).

I’m adding more episodes to this series in the coming weeks so tune back in to find more on this list!

I put hours of labor into each episode and blog post. I’m only able to do this because of the support of my Patreon supporters. If you value this work (this is my job) please contribute! Big Pharma isn’t giving me any sponsorships (nor do I want them).

Patreon.com/fkdp
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Fatkiddanceparty.com/classes
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Podcast: Anchor.fm/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
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Like/subscribe/review! It all helps!

During this pandemic taking vitamins and supplements has been an important part of how I take personal responsibility for the robust quality of my immune system. I’ve studied enough about the effects of stress on bodies to know that mindset is also a very important part of how we stay physically and mentally healthy.

This whole pandemic I’ve been consciously using my imagination to raise my spirits.

I’m Bevin and I want to be a Good Influence on you!

I’ve walked around Paris countless times while actually walking around my forest home. I check out and revist Dollywood in my mind frequently. I have planned entire trips and parties.

I made a whole plan for a Covid cautious outdoor birthday party last December in Los Angeles. (Even down to the vendors who would be bringing taco trucks, cotton candy and the glow bar.) My brain was getting really tired of the endless pandemic and wanted a break. I felt my spirits get lighter as I focused time and attention on that party so I just let myself do it.

There’s a fun prompt in my mind that is “If I had a private plane…” because I believe the safest way to travel to avoid Covid is private plane or RV. Even in my dreams the lives of folks I might affect through a chain of infection matter to me. So I factor in testing and caution and living a very low Covid transmission life.

Just this week I found out my bestie Rachael is going to Ft. Lauderdale for work next week and one of my favorite artists is playing in Ft. Lauderdale this weekend.

It’s truly delightful to think about getting to visit Rachael for the first time in three years!!

I immediately planned out private plane arrival, getting to go with Rach and our friends all tested negative to an outdoor concert in an empty section. I did no research on the actual venue and don’t know if it’s outdoor but in my imagination I want to be as safe as possible. My friend in real life last summer got to be alone with her friends in a big empty section of an outdoor concert venue and it was the most covid safe rockin’ thing I’ve seen.

In my dream we are all wearing Say Gay sweatshirts in different colors because that terrible Don’t Say Gay Bill passed in Florida and, again, even in my dreams I want to make a positive impact. It’s timely!

The Say Gay sweatshirts are available from Genuine Valentine the same designer who is my beloved friend and supports Fat Kid Dance Party lavishly with gorgeous graphic design and tee shirts!

Most of us are socialized to believe imagination and dreaming are frivolous. The creative adult is the child who survived. My powerful imagination got me through a childhood that was hellish at times, mostly in my own mind because I felt so incredibly unworthy of love.

My imagination and dreams are where possibilities are born.

We are using our imaginations to come up with worst case scenarios when we worry. Simultaneously we are flooding our body with chemicals that harm our immune system and cause disease.

When I find myself worrying I like to antidote it by coming up with five good things that are possible. Training the brain against those tendencies to catastrophize.

One of my favorite law of attraction teachers, Kyle Cease, says to write down fifty things that are possible every morning. Begin a statement with “It’s totally possible that…” and let ‘er rip. It’s harder than you think to get to fifty.

In January I got a strong calling to plan an RV tour for this Spring/Summer/Fall. My beloved psychic Alex confirmed that for me saying “You need to be on the road. Just because you’re good at connecting to people’s energy via Zoom doesn’t mean other people can connect in the same way and you need to serve them. Your community is different now than it was before the pandemic and you need to connect to them.” So I started making the plan all laid out in the back of my planner ready to go when the means present themselves.

I’m calling it the “Just Saying it Could Even Make it Happen” Covid Safe 2022 Tour based on the Kate Bush line I instruct my Fat Kid Dance Party students to say out loud during aerobics.

One of my best traits is that I’m an audacious dreamer with a strong vision for what the world could be and should be. I know using Vitamin Imagination helps my mental health because as soon as I start focusing on the lack of material results from my hard work over the years I feel really awful and can spiral fast.

When I spend even a little bit of time thinking about taking a private plane to spend a special weekend with my besties I feel great! When you’re feeling good you’re feeling God and I want to be vibed up and ready for divine inspiration not in a shame spiral talking myself off the proverbial ledge.

I hope this helps you remember to value your imagination, your visions for what is possible and dream a little more. We live in a dream crushing society that profits off your self loathing. Keep dreaming, keep going. We need you!

For more on this concept and some cute pictures from my once upon a time Dollywood wedding read this post about Pronoia! (RIP those plans!)


If you find value in this blog or in my work in the world, please consider supporting! It costs me nearly $300 a year just to keep this blog and archives running!

Patreon.com/fkdp
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bevin
Fatkiddanceparty.com/classes
Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty
Podcast: Anchor.fm/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db
Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party
Venmo: @bevinb
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Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into that “astronaut’s” profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9

I miss March 2020 energy. The world was suddenly shifting and we were all in this together! We cared for one another and stories of people bringing groceries to neighbors were shared on social media! We fed our neighbors! We checked in! We suddenly became more aware of our neighborhoods than ever before.

We were worried about supply chain issues coming down the road! And we stocked up and we planted gardens because here in the Northern Hemisphere Spring had just started and we wanted to be prepared with bountiful harvests for the coming Covid disaster!

I’m Bevin and I want to be a good influence on you.

We didn’t anticipate two years of this pandemic (though somehow all global pandemics have been two years…) and the supply chain issues we have been dealing with, and the inflation, are only getting worse. February 2022 was the fourth deadliest month of Covid so far!

I hang out with a lot of plant obsessed babes and they’ve been talking about garden plans for this Spring.

I want to encourage you to make your garden plan. Even if it’s your fire escape, the piece of dirt between your sidewalk and street, wherever you can. Get curious & creative!

Consider planting more than you need. Plant even more than you think you have capacity for and between now and harvest(s) keep your ears out for ways to be generous.

I believe that if we open ourselves up to the flow of generosity we can give away things that aren’t a big deal to us that are literal miracles to other folks.

Imagine the Santa vibes you will feel this late Spring, Summer and Fall when you drop off produce to that single mom you met down the road who can barely afford gas and daycare. What if you heard of a neighbor willing to cook and make soups out of your harvest and give them to folks who need them?

My cat Biscuit Reynolds loves to be outside with me while I garden.

If you found someone who needed seeds, soil and fertilizer to start a garden and you had extra that’s pre-harvest generosity that’s also filling bellies! Or maybe you can have satellite gardens because you really like to. Or maybe a family member will let you have a garden at their place.

There is just so much staggering need right now. Inflation, gas prices, tremedous healthcare costs–even missing work because of catching covid means the bills aren’t paid since most folks are on razor thin wires. What if your zucchinis meant someone didn’t have to choose between feeding the kids and paying for medicine?

Considering all the serotonin and anti-depressant benefits of gardening your generosity could be the seed of your better mood. Also when you are doing things in service to other people it helps your state of mind–volunteerism is also an anti-depressant.

One of my favorite Covid projects is Free99 fridge in Atlanta. An incredible story of mutual aid that began as fridges all over ATL filled by neighbors that is blooming into a free community grocery. “For the people, from the people.”

This is the energy I want to be seeing in this third year of this pandemic! We will save each other through person to person generosity! Give what you can lavishly!

I was trying to find pics of my garden last year but instead was reminded of the gorgeous robin’s eggs that litter the forest floor in Late May.

Here’s the garden advice I got from my plant lady friends I am using for my container garden and want to pass along to you:

Plant what you like to eat (you can plant SALSA! I like to make bone broth and noodles with fresh greens and scallions cut from the garden)

Plant for your climate zone

You can keep growing kale and onions over the Winter

Potatoes take practice

Yes you need to fertilize

I didn’t realize about fertilizing last year and had a great Late Spring harvest of greens and scallions and herbs but they didn’t produce in Summer or Fall. I was a city gal for so long I didn’t start growing food beyond tomato plants and herbs until I moved near my mom and she helped me get started. I’m working on failing forward. Gardening takes patience, practice, perseverance. These are all great skills to have!

Shout out to everyone who has read or is reading Braiding Sweetgrass, I hope you plant beans corn & squash!


If you find value in this blog or in my work in the world, please consider supporting! It costs me nearly $300 a year just to keep this blog and archives running!

Patreon.com/fkdp
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bevin
Fatkiddanceparty.com/classes
Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty
Podcast: Anchor.fm/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db
Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party
Venmo: @bevinb
Cash App: $BevinBoss
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Cuts into that “astronaut’s” profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9