Call it Hand S*x Not Fingering!
Let’s remember that hands have five digits each and the vigorousness, stamina and strength one can offer with a forearm is far more than what’s possible with other appendages.
My Love Story with Rachael
Rachael’s lavish love and devotion has shown me I am worthy of so much love, grace and support.
The Distinction Between Courtship and Dating
If there is one lesson I could teach the 27 year old Bevin that began this blog it’s the distinction between courtship and dating.
Vitamin I: Imagination
We are using our imaginations to come up with worst case scenarios when we worry. Simultaneously we are flooding our body with chemicals that harm our immune system and cause disease.
When I find myself worrying I like to antidote it by coming up with five good things that are possible. Training the brain against those tendencies to catastrophize.
Loving Her Was Like Driving a New Maserati Down a Dead End Street
Our connection was so good! Like a hot fast car you can’t take anywhere. I read recently that we become whole and complete ourselves but there’s work we can only do on ourselves in relation to someone else. I think I felt a lot of grief about the work we were going to do together?
I’m Not Engaged but I had an Online Bachelorette Party Anyway and Here’s How it Went
But 2020 happened the way it did, all tours were called off and I was left wondering if maybe I could do an online Bachelorette party. That way, everyone can come, no one has to pay to travel or take out a whole weekend. A couple of hours, some good performances and connection time felt great to me!
Cherishing early adulthood stamina
I’m feeling really nourished by all of the fun memories I made in my early adulthood really squeezing the marrow out of life. I think one of my greatest assets in that time was having so much fun!
I am so much happier with an iphone than my Google Pixel and it’s all about connection
Your Aunt Rachael in Atlanta has the Corona. We’ve been in tight communication since before the pandemic thanks to Marco Polo, her polycule and my getting an iphone and being added to a group text thread.
All Kinds of Bachelorettes
For those of you who don’t already know, six months ago my fiance decided to end our relationship. It was a huge surprise to me, since a showy proposal 13 months before and a plan for a big wedding was already in the works. Six months out and I’m still reeling from the change that […]
Additions to the Queer Lexicography: You’ve Got Toptions
Toptions. This is the idea that you have a lot of different Tops to choose from. And yes, I’m talking about Tops in a sexual way not a sartorial way, but feel free to use it that way too, especially when talking about fat friendly crop tops! Being open to Toptions means being in a mindset of abundance. I think a lot of people out there lament that they do not have a lot of Tops to choose from. Believe me, as a Femme who is Top leaning, especially when it comes to public play, I know that there are lots of Tops out there. I feel like going into any situation where you may want to play, you’ve got to be open to possibilities, talk to lots of folks, explore your Toptions (or bottom possibilities) and have a mindset that there are lots of people out there waiting to be explored!
Be a Great Ally to Fat Folks by Getting Neutral about Food
Nothing bums me out faster when I’m about to eat some food than someone commenting about food. Like this, “Oh I’m being SO BAD! I NEVER eat cupcakes!” Or “I really SHOULDN’T EAT THIS!” Or “I wish I could eat THAT but it would make me SO FAT!” Or “You’re lucky you can eat whatever you WANT I will blow up like a BALOON!!!”
So what do you do when you’re surrounded by the I’M SO BADs of the world?
When I’m in situations like that with people judging food I have a variety of responses. I’m pretty secure in my body and have a pretty deep analysis of the fatphobia in our culture so I’m pretty resilient to the commentary. I’m also a fat person whose reputation and activism often precedes her so I feel pretty confident piping up with something educational in the moment.
Here are some scripts that I employ…
That Time Dara and I Met Abbi and Ilana from Broad City and the New Yorker Wrote About It
One night after our second round of watching Broad City, I said, “What if you made a Make a Wish video and asked Abbi and Ilana to write you into their show?” Dara immediately countered with, “I should get them to come be in my Chemo Karaoke video shoot!”
So we did it. Why not? It was a low-stakes, really fun way to spend an evening, making the video. And even if Abbi and Ilana couldn’t come to the video shoot, at least it was a way to say thank you for producing art that was really delighting us during a time that was pretty shitty… It’s never a bad time to make someone feel good about themselves, as my bestie Rachael likes to say.
Abby and Ilana were busy writing the second season of their amazing show and couldn’t come to the shoot. But they did invite us to be their guests at their show the night before Dara’s birthday party.