Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2020-07-19

Today was a harder day in quarantine

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 8:48 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I took a break today to go play ping pong with my mom. She bought a moveable table set from a facebook ad over the winter (dreaming of summer days and ping pong) and we inaugurated it at her birthday party two weeks ago. I figured I’d keep making her vision a reality and up my mirth on a day where mirth felt a little hard to access.

It feels like time is hurtling by. March of this year felt like the longest month ever because our entire paradigm kept shifting. Word of the virus, word of a potential shut down, word of shutting down, word of really shutting down. In my mind this all began March 15th.

It was scary but seemed doable. I was grateful for all the emotional maturity and stability I had developed in the past year. 2019 was uncertainty central and covid quarantine only brought more uncertainty. I had a strong routine and had been making great strides and decisions towards my emotional stability.

I remember thinking that by July things would be opening back up. I don’t think that’s actually incorrect–I was able to get Biscuit Reynolds groomed on Friday because they are phase 2 re-opening and Washington hasn’t had to roll back to phase 1 like California.

I definitely thought July would be like, more fully open than it is. And since this second wave of covid has come on so strong I feel like this is the time everyone’s most vulnerable. I opted out of a very tempting weekend away with some dear ones of mine simply because I think it feels too risky to fly commercial.

I did leave it open if I find someone with a private jet to loan me. Truly, I feel safe in her far remote neck of the woods in the desert, just as I feel safer up here in so far north I can see Canada from where I’m sitting right now.

But also. If time is going by so swiftly, I can probably wait until Fall. I miss my friends and hugs and lounging in floaties on the grass smoking grass with babes at the Glowing Goddess Getaways. In my alternative pre-planned 2020 I would be on tour right now with Biscuit Reynolds in a Class B RV going to GGGs and stopping at friends between and having a couple different weeks as a teacher at girls self esteem camps (I had booked one in Maine and I figured I could find at least one more).

Instead, I’m bringing summer camp vibes to all of my weekly online aerobics class subscribers by filming aerobics in the woods.

I’m so wildly grateful I live full time essentially at summer camp. When I lived in the city I always felt like I needed regular recharging in nature. Now that I know what it’s like to have that battery always full I’m like, okay I’ll dip into cities sometimes but really I gotta get back and look for new mushrooms in the forest.

I have some grief about what I thought 2020 was going to be, and I am also doing my very best to appreciate where I am and what I am doing instead. Everyday can feel like vacation if you let it–this is why I have been working on my emotional stability and maturity. But, even still, today was kind of a rough and grumpy day. I am segment intending my way to an early night’s sleep.

One thing I can always count on: things always feel better in the morning.

xoxo,

Mom

I haven’t bothered to look up what this Christmas plant is called; I call it what it looks like. The Goddess is so good to make the foliage perfect for Christmas in July in this blessedly cool forest. Today was the hottest it’s been all summer at 74 degrees.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-18

Moving towards life or away from life

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bevin @ 11:07 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I read an incredible article by adrienne maree brown yesterday. Incredible. If you’re not my kids 25 years from now reading this and cruising this blog go read it right now.

She talked about life, and whether we are choosing to move towards it or away from it.

I immediately thought of this unmasked 20 something year old woman marching through the grocery store the other day. She had a big Jesus is my Savior sticker on her car I noticed when I saw her in the parking lot. I wondered if she thought Jesus was her cloth face covering.

I was again pondering the mask vs no mask trend and if it’s coming from a place of not really caring if other people live or die or not caring if they themselves live or die. If some mask refusal is really about a low-key death wish or a low-key murder wish for people who don’t value others.

We already know the disproportionate effect covid is having on Black and Latinx folks. I have still only ever seen white folks online or in person refusing to wear a mask. Maybe it’s murderous white supremacy?

She talked about cancel culture and what’s toxic about it. According to brown in her article, cancel culture has gotten especially rampant during Covid.

A friend of mine asked my advice today about a cancel culture issue she’s potentially facing. The best thing to come out of my experience with cancel culture is being able to help people I care about navigate the waters of cancel culture.

My work in the world is about helping people get free mentally and physically. Understanding how to think about a call out and cancelation is really helpful when you’re navigating it. Mental fortitude and understanding what’s happening when a bunch of people are coming for you on the internet is key. I’ll be giving everyone who asks my perspective on cancelation a link to this article.

I sincerely hope that by the time you’re reading this that we’ve moved so far away from cancel culture that you need me to explain what that means.

And I’ll send you to this epic, brilliant video from Contrapoints explaining what cancel culture is and how it works. I hope it’s a dusty relic in 2045!

Always be too busy building something beautiful to tear anyone else down. And remember that no person is disposable.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-17

Socializing in Covid Times

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 2:02 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Yesterday was a delight–in many ways I found Festival Magic in quarantine that typically I only experience when I’m at an in person festival experience.

First, what’s a festival? I would define it as a gathering that creates its own culture. In my experience it’s a multi-day, sleepover outdoor type experience. Somehow integrating human connection and connection to nature.

Early experiences of this were at sleep away camp. Being at camp was the only place I ever felt I truly belonged and, consequently, that I could ever be my true self.

As an adult I began going to a women’s music festival every year and fell in love with the culture and connection. Seeing the same faces every year (thousands of women gathered), growing up alongside folks, having the most fun in a space that felt safe and nurturing for me. That was so special.

In 2018 I started teaching at the Glowing Goddess Getaways, a women’s self care cannabis retreat. They are only 2 days long but really pack a festival intimacy.

Something wonderful that happens for me in festival land is wandering along a path and experiencing connections and falling into new groups of folks. Your whole day can be planned out and suddenly you’re just making new friends and going on an adventure.

I definitely didn’t think this kind of thing could happen virtually but I came across it yesterday and I’m so grateful!

A self care practice I started this Winter was making a connection with 3 friends a day. This involves a lot of work to make happen–I reach out to a ton of friends in order to get calls lined up. I’ve also found connecting with old camp and festival friends to be especially nourishing. Even if I don’t know them well we share memories of a favorite place.

Each of us sharing intimacy with a place creates an intimacy between us. I happily hop on phone calls and virtual cups of tea with friends and connect beyond time and space. It’s so cool.

Yesterday I finally got a chance to catch up with Lisa, CEO and co-founder of Tokeativity. Tokeativity is a global feminist community for active cannabis consumers. As someone who works in the intersection of cannabis and self care, this was a great connection (had three people suggest I connect with her) and she happens to be a friend from my old Festival days!

Lisa and I maybe had two conversations in person at Festival but I recognized her and was excited to hear more about Tokeativity! She invited me to a 7PM Toking Hour with the Seattle chapter so I could connect with the local leaders and see what it was all about.

I was delighted! Breathing exercises, mild yoga, dance breaks, an ASL lesson, smiling smoking women from mostly Seattle (also the Bay Area, PDX and Alaska!) And afterwards we shifted into an after party lounge so we could connect and get to know each other.

It so happens on my calendar after this party I was scheduled to have a phone call with Miranda, another friend from Festival who also knows Lisa. (She was one of the three different folks who told me to connect to her!) Miranda happened to be on the Toking Hour!

She texted me and suggested we just keep hanging out in the video chat room with everyone. It was like “running into each other on the path” and she was so right!

Eventually it was just the three of us in the chat room and we burned it down for hours, just chatting, connecting, doing some psychic readings, I got into both of their astrological birth charts.

We all reluctantly left at 11:30PM because me and Lisa both still had work to do but I felt SO nourished. Truly, like festival energy.

It seems unlikely to find that special magic spontaneous hangout person to person energy from online spaces and yet it exists. I remember an Alice in Wonderland feeling when I’d wander a path and find a party, and then wander off and find something else going on.

I’m still buzzing with all that social energy! I’m an ambivert which means I recharge either alone or with the right energy from the right people. This was incredible.

I’m so grateful to Lisa for her platform of Tokeativity to make something like that possible. I’m so grateful to Miranda who I’ve loved connecting to about everything witchy, feminist, healing and Grateful Dead (she’s an original Dead Head). And I am grateful for my diligent self care practice that had me reach out to both of them during quarantine to connect! What magic!

I hope you prioritize and treasure your friendships! Nourishing relationships are truly the greatest form of wealth you’ll ever know.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-14

The littlest slivers of joy can be a big deal if you let them

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 9:43 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Friends in the hospital for non covid illnesses. “Traveling right now could be lethal.”

California just rolled back to phase 1 reopening.

Feels like everything changes by the minute. More hard news… And even still. I found some real joy.

Tonight, after I finished teaching my aerobics class in the woods; I ended up losing all track of time just walking and dancing and enjoying the splendor of the forest path I walk every day.

Somehow it felt new again because I brought a level of delight and enthusiasm to it.

Mindfulness practice has helped me segment experiences so life doesn’t have to feel like an endless bummer when life is lifing at me.

Look for moments of joy in whatever little things you can that’s the best stuff. The slivers of ordinary glee.

Xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-12

Life is Lifing at you

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 7:50 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Life is always going to life at you.

It took me until about a year ago to realize that I frequently assumed emotionally that once I got through this next struggle that I would cease to struggle or experience problems. Pretty much, there’s always something.

But, since I’ve survived all of my hardest days, and life hasn’t stopped lifing, that’s what motivates me to get judicious about what I consider a “problem.”

My inner people pleaser and controller deeply wants to identify problems at every turn. Criticism as a form of love is an ancestral pattern I am ending in my generation, which centers from my thought life.

Asking myself, “How important is this?” when I perceive a problem or someone else wants to make something a problem. The real stuff is what life is lifing at you (friend in the hospital, family member in hospice, job lay-off, rugs pulled out from under you) and the other stuff is a distraction from your purpose.

Everyone’s purpose is different, everyone’s bullshit threshold is different. But the less you get way laid by it the more peaceful life can become.

Find the sweetness in the hard times, the joy in the moment, the peace of nature. Stargaze whenever possible, especially when you are going through a tough time. Cannabis and psalm 65 helped me a lot late last year after seismic changes in my life. I just needed hope and to believe it wasn’t the end and it helped me keep going.

Today I’m thinking about life lifing because of a lot of life lifing to folks around me. I’m interacting with other people asking myself “How can I bring value to this person,” because I don’t know how much life is lifing at them. It’s helping me stay really kind, during this pandemic where fear of covid wants to create a fear between people.

Super odd time. I hope you take me up on stargazing, and I hope you wish on every shooting star you see.

xoxo,

Mom

Up at 9am to help mom unload a full truck bed of alder chips. She does a lot of epic garden projects.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-11

I’m starting to understand why people won’t wear masks

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 5:02 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Since my last letter I’ve really gone down the rabbit hole of curiosity trying to figure out what is causing people to be reckless about mask use and social distancing. This is my methodology as an artist, leader and healer. I get curious about something and follow those curiosities while seeking to understand.

Yesterday I went out into the world. First to the closest town, about a half hour away from my forest home. Then I drove an hour to the closest Trader Joe’s because it had been 4 months and I needed Everything But the Bagel seasoning.

Washington State’s leadership has been committed to data and science to guide their regulations and I’m so glad. We recently went to 100% mask requirement in public establishments. Which is fantastic because it helps prevent transmission.

I was standing in line at the local food Co-op waiting for the water filling station and had the opportunity to observe who tried to come into the store without a mask. Within the 20 minutes I was standing in the foyer, masked up and social distancing in line, I heard two different white women argue with the person at the door.

The person at the door was so polite when she told folks coming in without masks that they are required to have one or a face shield on in order to enter. They even provided a face shield or a mask if folks didn’t have one–free of charge.

Neither of these women was willing to wear a mask. One woman kept going on and on that she spoke to the Governor’s office and she “had their number” and the Governor said she could do what she wanted to because she’s disabled.

The woman at the front offered that someone could shop for her in the store, but the non-mask wearer refused so the woman went to get a supervisor, who took the woman outside of the store to tell her whatever she did that made the non-mask wearer give up and leave.

The second time it happened the objection was, “My mask is my immune system.” And she said, “I guess none of these people [gesturing to the masked shoppers] has an immune system.”

Wildly ignorant. I also saw a video of a third white woman at a dentist’s office refusing to get her temperature taken or wear a mask.

I am loathe to believe in binaries, but I do think that we’re in a spot in our society (at least in the US) where we’ve got folks who are masking and socially distancing and folks whose personal autonomy is more important than the effects their choices have on other people.

My friend and brilliant herbalist Colelea said that she thinks the enormity of what’s going on is greater than what people can accept. It’s kind of like not wanting to feel the pain and stubbornly refusing to understand what’s happening.

At the outset of the quarantine I felt a lot of compassion for folks in active addiction that requires being out in public like sex/love addicts, gamblers, alcoholics who go to bars. That kind of thing. Addiction is frequently about distraction from pain and being forced to be at home… there’s nowhere to go but inside.

I have to wonder if that’s the same inclination that’s getting people to break quarantine? I’ve already known folks who had folks in their quarantine pod put them in danger because they were sneaking off and tindering.

You don’t wear a mask for yourself you wear it for other people. It’s like avoiding drunk driving–obviously you’re putting yourself in danger but folks who didn’t make the choice to drive drunk don’t deserve to die because of your poor decision making.

Anyway, I have no grand answers except that what these whiny white ladies have in common is a level of panic and self-righteousness in their voices that screams to me their pain at a loss of control.

Here’s to being a “people first” person and being part of collective work so we all have a better shot at staying alive and keeping the most vulnerable around us alive.

xoxo,

Mom

Driving on a road trip (even to the grocery store an hour away) was a nice break, but I was super glad to go detox from people in the forest last night.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-10

I found myself craving the News lately

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 12:18 am

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I stopped listening to or consuming the news in September, 2016. I had been slowly realizing that the news felt as toxic to me as I once experienced diet and weight loss ads. I think it was the swift uptick in hearing the voice of then candidate Donald Trump and the fascination with the horse race but not the actual issues of the election.

I don’t live in a special bubble with no news. I do still connect to friends and have enough smart folks in my life that the right information comes across my path. I read articles from trusted news sources if I think it will benefit me or I have curiosity. I watched the murder of George Floyd because a trusted journalist friend posted the link to CBS news.

If I really need to know something there are folks who know to directly communicate that to me.

There’s a very small percentage of the information shared on the news of something I “need” to know. In fact, there’s way more than you can possibly consume of news available and most of it is designed to scare you so they can sell more advertising.

I bring this up simply because I found myself craving news recently. Mostly about the pandemic and the mounting death tolls, the record setting days of new Corona cases many of the early re-opened states are posting. Florida’s caseload went up so much it’s more than 1,900% in a week.

I got curious about what was happening because re-opening feels so unwise. I have so much privilege to work from home, I obviously don’t have my event income which has been a hardship, but I have intentionally shifted my focus to things I can do online.

I truly wonder about the people who are going to restaurants and bars, who are partying on Fire Island and who are putting themselves and others at risk.

This is like a group project we all started and a lot of us are wondering why so many people got up from the table. I wonder do they feel invincible? Do they think this is made up? I understand people needing to go back to work and I don’t judge them, but I am really curious about the partiers. And I say this as someone who was dubbed the “Plus Size Party Girl” by Time Out New York. I get partying, I love to socialize. But not if it risks death or serious injury to me or others.

Is death not serious to people? There’s a quote that roughly goes, “Tough times create tough people, tough people create good times, good times create weak people, weak people create tough times.”

Anyway, that’s what’s on my heart today. A genuine and rare desire to consume the news to gain more understanding about what the effects are of the capricious attitudes of a few folks.

I think the majority of people are still staying home. But with talk of opening schools again in just a little over a month that feels like another spike waiting to happen.

I guess we’ll see. I’m still living my life with the optimistic attitude that I’ve seen the end of the movie and we win. If we haven’t won, it’s not the end.

xoxo,

Bevin

Daily there is new life in the forest, and fresh decay. Nature forever teaching me about life. Spend at least as much time meditating than watching the news.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-08

When I’m Grieving I Turn to Two Things

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 11:06 pm

(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Two things that help me with grief the most are talking to my friends and dancing. Right now a lot of people in the world are grieving. Grief about actual death (we’re at 131,000 deaths reported in the US–not including those that weren’t diagnosed which has to be thousands).

Plus regular other human mortality experiences with funeral services put off due to covid quarantine. Without grief rituals it can be harder to move through the difficult feelings.

Plus all the things 2020 might have held for people that got canceled including graduations, weddings, retirements, making a living wage as a performing artist, making a living period. Change is also full of grief, like losing a job.

Dancing, especially opening up my shoulders, is so good to move feelings through me. All of our emotions just want to pass through us. 90 seconds is all it takes for a big feeling to pass. Movement helps those feelings pass before they get to the big feeling part.

Plus endorphins take the edge off grief.

And calling. Connection with other people. It’s why we’re on the planet, to be in relation to one another. All the most life satisfied people talk about how their relationships matter most. Talking to people takes the edge off grief, too. I don’t not talk about what I’m grieving but I don’t focus on it. It helps to be distracted by listening to other people talk about their life!

Call your people. Dance.

Call someone you haven’t talked to in years. Dance.

I think this is the best kind of simple live your best life advice I could give you, for real.

xoxo,

Mom

Sometimes I can see bats diving among the tops of the trees and it is the most magical thing.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-07

Report from my friend protesting in Tulsa

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 2:41 pm

(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I got the chance to catch up with my friend Cris Sardina the other day, the director of Desiree Alliance a sex worker’s rights non-profit I’ve been working with for much of the past decade. I love doing this work, which is mostly spreadsheets and administration, supporting justice that’s important to me.

Cris shared about going to Tulsa, OK (she lives in Arkansas) with her daughter to protest the Trump rally on June 20th. Her reflections on the MAGA (“Make America Great Again”–a euphemism for white) folks were hilarious. “It’s a bunch of drunk white guys not wearing masks.”

Compared with the protestors who she reported were wearing masks and peaceful. Not drunk! And caring for one another–there were folks passing out water, snacks, information. It’s incredible how this movement helps each other.

We talked about the fireworks in urban areas and the coordinated efforts by white supremacist groups to put fireworks in neighborhoods so that it creates battle fatigue in the bodies of folks hearing explosions constantly. (This is a war tactic!)

Her take on how to make real change these days, especially for sex workers, is to get the “old white guys” out of the Senate. One of the many things she’s been doing lately is tweeting at folks running for office to find out who supports the decriminalization of sex work!

I love my work with Desiree Alliance, it’s put me in contact and coalition with some incredible advocates and activists. It’s been rad to see folks I know who work with trans folks of color sex workers who are getting a good amount of donations during this time. Hoping that folks sustain these donations to trans women of color organizing in their communities! Casa Ruby and GLITS to name a couple doing vital work!

Here’s to maintaining friendships and allyship with folks who are out in the world doing different types of protest work. And here’s to my work on the admin side, spent hours on hold resolving an email issue for Cris so she could keep rattling cages doing what she does best.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-06

Quarantine Pods

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 5:41 pm

(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Quarantine pods are the new cliques. But, in a life saving, interdependent social support way. Not in the Mean Girls Burn Book popularity contest way.

Things in the coronavirus quarantine land are more concerning than ever, and having the people you’re sharing germy air with requires mindfulness, honesty and trust.

My mom’s/your Nanny’s birthday was yesterday and for her birthday we expanded our pod beyond just the three of us (her spouse and me). Mostly in our neighborhood it’s easy to stay socially distanced and wear masks to have gatherings. But for her birthday we expanded to include two couples who are dear friends and who had gone through a 14 day quarantine and wear masks 100% of the time in stores and exercise the same caution we do.

It felt risky, but low risk. Worthy of consideration, of course. And we were outside with them but still, it was risk and needed consideration. It reminds me so much of safer sex conversations and harm reduction theories from being a young queer adult. What risk factors are at play, how much do you trust the person you’re connecting with to be honest about their behavior?

I know from friends who have expanded their pods for others and then closed up after risky behavior (e.g. going to a protest, going on a family vacation) until after a covid test or another 14 day quarantine period. I think that’s wise! And definitely requires good boundaries.

I was already a little nervous about expanding our pod and saw lots of social media about how unsafe folks were being at parties over the 4th of July. We had a spike in cases from Memorial Day I can only imagine what the 4th will be like (and we’ll find out after two weeks).

I read a concerning NBC News article about a guy who after attending a party, contracted the virus and died the day after writing a facebook post publicly apologizing for doing such a risky activity.

The only real “right” thing I can make sense of in these times is to follow my gut instinct, ask questions and rely on trust with people.

But the “right” thing to do has felt like it’s changed a whole bunch during this time, and the kind of scariest part is that most Americans don’t seem like we’re on the same page about what “right” is and we’re fumbling to make anything work to flatten the curve.

I don’t think I’ll regret expanding the pod so Mom could be surrounded by a few folks she loves for her birthday. I do think the folks crowding on Fire Island this past weekend might.

I miss the beach and I miss travel and I miss some semblance of control over my circumstances, but I also know that in time we’ll figure this out and know the way forward. The next right step is sometimes all we’re meant to know in a given time.

xoxo,

Mom

Lemon Merengue pie success! My first one! And bought mom some orange blossoms that bloomed just in time for her party!

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-04

This is not a moment it’s the movement

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 7:26 pm

(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Today is the lunar eclipse in Capricorn. It’s also the 4th of July, on one of the most complicated Independence Days of my adult life.

Hamilton just dropped on Disney+ yesterday. I think the perfect timing to watch that musical for the first (or the 4th) time!

I remember when it first dropped it made a big impression on the culture but I was slow to get into the fever of it. I kind of assumed at some point I might see it and then I’d bother listening to the soundtrack.

And then I went on a trip to Israel with one of the original cast members and I decided to give it a shot… and was hooked! It’s such a vital narrative especially during this time of resistance!

I finally got to see it on Broadway due to the generosity of my former mother in law. I loved it even more once I actually saw the musical. I didn’t get to see Oak when I saw it live (he was already in Shondaland). So awesome to get to see the film version of Hamilton with the original cast!

I am excited for the revolutionary message to hit the masses. When I listen to the Hamilton soundtrack it revitalizes me. I have a whole Fat Kid Dance Party choreography I teach to Hamilton. Someday I’d love to do a whole Hamilton aerobics class!!

Hamilton reminds me of legacy. The first part of that is knowing that rabble rousers and resisters existed before us and we build our movements on the work already laid before us. It can feel daunting to dismantle systems of oppression but it’s not work that will start or end with us!

The second part of legacy I think about with Hamilton is the question of what kind of legacy are we leaving? How will you be remembered? What characteristics do you want to have?

If you can answer those questions you can backward map day to day action that will get you there. That’s a powerful lesson I picked up in a training yesterday that parallels Hamilton.

xoxo,

Mom

P.S. Tomorrow is Nanny’s birthday and I made her a surprise birthday eve cherry pie from scratch. It’s hard to surprise her, and it was a really good pie.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-03

No ray of sunshine is ever lost

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 6:32 pm

(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Entering month 4 of Covid quarantine soon (I call March 15th, the Ides of March, the moment it became clear we were really doing shelter in place) and it feels scarier now than it did at the time.

I wasn’t keeping these letters then (or journaling as much) so it’s hard to really know. While it seemed daunting and scary to set out to prevent a virus as contagious as this one, it also felt like we were all in this together and it was surmountable to really flatten the curve.

But now that we’re deep into this and so many people have given up quarantine, being really capricious about who they have mask free contact with… it feels scarier. Masks are now mandated by law except how to even enforce that when we are seriously discussing defunding the police.

Defunding the police is a vision of the world with less harm. That requires a level of faith and social services. Right now, we’re dealing with a virus and cloth barriers aren’t even fully protective! I don’t want the cops called on anyone mask or not but certainly I don’t want anyone’s second-hand capricious covid contact.

I have been going to town even less. Getting ever more intentional about how I use my time when I go into town and prepping more so I need make less trips.

I have adopted a defensive driving tact for dealing with people in public. Many folks don’t stay 6 feet away from me, so I back up. I give myself lots of time to get in and out of businesses so I am not time pressured to reach around someone for an item. I just stand back and wait for the crowd to thin. I go into town on weekdays not on weekend when tourists descend.

I make choices about my life so I can be as mindful as possible of other folks. It really feels like a group project we were all working on and, outside of essential workers, those of us wearing masks and continuing social distancing are the ones who were always doing the work on the group project in school with no help from classmates.

I don’t even watch the news but an article from the Atlantic out yesterday about 16 states hitting record Coronavirus numbers is alarming. Hey, not my state (Washington), but people are traveling all over right now.

I am doing what I can control and SMILING is one of the biggest things folks overlook! I have been studying human physiology for success, always improving Fat Kid Dance Party, and learned so much about smiling.

One big component of smiling is eye contact–if you smile and don’t look someone in the eye it doesn’t convey enthusiasm or love. If you give someone eye contact while smiling even behind a mask they still get the similar dopamine zing that they get from the full visual.

Smiling has been a big addition to my covid behavior changes around defensive driving and going slow. Just being sure to add that level of connection to my interactions with other masked people so they feel the love. No ray of sunlight is ever lost.

Plus, smiles are good for the smiler, physiologically, so I’m giving myself a boost by adding a smile to my rituals of going to town. Bust mostly, I’m keeping my human interactions to frequent zoom calls and facetimes with friends and business associates.

xoxo,

Bevin

Grandmother’s lemon merengue pie recipe! I’m making it for my mom for her birthday on Sunday! First time making a merengue in 8 years!

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