Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone


Socializing in Covid Times

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 2:02 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Yesterday was a delight–in many ways I found Festival Magic in quarantine that typically I only experience when I’m at an in person festival experience.

First, what’s a festival? I would define it as a gathering that creates its own culture. In my experience it’s a multi-day, sleepover outdoor type experience. Somehow integrating human connection and connection to nature.

Early experiences of this were at sleep away camp. Being at camp was the only place I ever felt I truly belonged and, consequently, that I could ever be my true self.

As an adult I began going to a women’s music festival every year and fell in love with the culture and connection. Seeing the same faces every year (thousands of women gathered), growing up alongside folks, having the most fun in a space that felt safe and nurturing for me. That was so special.

In 2018 I started teaching at the Glowing Goddess Getaways, a women’s self care cannabis retreat. They are only 2 days long but really pack a festival intimacy.

Something wonderful that happens for me in festival land is wandering along a path and experiencing connections and falling into new groups of folks. Your whole day can be planned out and suddenly you’re just making new friends and going on an adventure.

I definitely didn’t think this kind of thing could happen virtually but I came across it yesterday and I’m so grateful!

A self care practice I started this Winter was making a connection with 3 friends a day. This involves a lot of work to make happen–I reach out to a ton of friends in order to get calls lined up. I’ve also found connecting with old camp and festival friends to be especially nourishing. Even if I don’t know them well we share memories of a favorite place.

Each of us sharing intimacy with a place creates an intimacy between us. I happily hop on phone calls and virtual cups of tea with friends and connect beyond time and space. It’s so cool.

Yesterday I finally got a chance to catch up with Lisa, CEO and co-founder of Tokeativity. Tokeativity is a global feminist community for active cannabis consumers. As someone who works in the intersection of cannabis and self care, this was a great connection (had three people suggest I connect with her) and she happens to be a friend from my old Festival days!

Lisa and I maybe had two conversations in person at Festival but I recognized her and was excited to hear more about Tokeativity! She invited me to a 7PM Toking Hour with the Seattle chapter so I could connect with the local leaders and see what it was all about.

I was delighted! Breathing exercises, mild yoga, dance breaks, an ASL lesson, smiling smoking women from mostly Seattle (also the Bay Area, PDX and Alaska!) And afterwards we shifted into an after party lounge so we could connect and get to know each other.

It so happens on my calendar after this party I was scheduled to have a phone call with Miranda, another friend from Festival who also knows Lisa. (She was one of the three different folks who told me to connect to her!) Miranda happened to be on the Toking Hour!

She texted me and suggested we just keep hanging out in the video chat room with everyone. It was like “running into each other on the path” and she was so right!

Eventually it was just the three of us in the chat room and we burned it down for hours, just chatting, connecting, doing some psychic readings, I got into both of their astrological birth charts.

We all reluctantly left at 11:30PM because me and Lisa both still had work to do but I felt SO nourished. Truly, like festival energy.

It seems unlikely to find that special magic spontaneous hangout person to person energy from online spaces and yet it exists. I remember an Alice in Wonderland feeling when I’d wander a path and find a party, and then wander off and find something else going on.

I’m still buzzing with all that social energy! I’m an ambivert which means I recharge either alone or with the right energy from the right people. This was incredible.

I’m so grateful to Lisa for her platform of Tokeativity to make something like that possible. I’m so grateful to Miranda who I’ve loved connecting to about everything witchy, feminist, healing and Grateful Dead (she’s an original Dead Head). And I am grateful for my diligent self care practice that had me reach out to both of them during quarantine to connect! What magic!

I hope you prioritize and treasure your friendships! Nourishing relationships are truly the greatest form of wealth you’ll ever know.



This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

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