Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2020-08-07

Go slow to go far

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 12:36 am

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Yesterday I talked about learning from failure. Today I want to talk about something that’s helped my learning process a lot. Slowing down.

When I was deep in perfectionism and people pleasing, I was really intense. Not in the best way. I would speed over connection to get to the point, I would barrel past non verbal cues and I assumed everyone out there had the same goals I did.

This doesn’t actually reflect my values–especially around diversity. Understanding and accepting that everyone is different, coming from different points of view and has different goals is really important!

This is actually very meaningful to me now as I truly believe human diversity is our strength as a species and everything that makes us different is important!

But constantly being in a rush, focused only on my point of view and not taking into consideration different communication styles or what someone was really communicating was a huge liability. 85% of job advancement is based on people skills, according to research by Stanford, Harvard and the Carnegie Foundation. Developing those I’ve realized how much slower I need to go in order to have the connections and depth with folks that my Scorpio Moon desires!

I’ve done so much study in the area of people skills and a lot of what I’ve learned is to slow down and focus on quality connection. And slowing down enables me to really learn and sift from what I go through. When I was barrelling past niceties, I was also not slowing down to evaluate.

Get clear about what’s really important in this world–relationships, and prioritize accordingly. Quality of life is on the other side of that!

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-08-05

Fail forward

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 9:28 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to embrace failure.

I grew up very talented at academics. I could put very little effort into things and get great results. I didn’t fail frequently, and I think that actually has made being an entrepreneur a worthy opponent.

Success looks like failure 80% of the time. I’ve learned that you’re winning no matter what as long as you don’t quit.

Either you win or you learn, which just sets you up to get to where you need to go.

In life no matter what you’ll absolutely be disappointed, treated unfairly, just plain knocked on your ass. If you choose not to learn from it, you will continue to be presented the same lessons in different circumstances until you do. So it’s just best practice to learn from it, evaluate it and get better.

I have wasted so much time being too ashamed to embrace a failure and added a lot of suffering to the pile.

This time last year I thought I was embracing failure but now I see how much more enthusiastically I embrace failure now and how differently I feel about it.

Mistakes are stepping stones. You’re going to mess up.

Your greatest fear will come to pass, and you will be okay. (A paraphrased Stevie Nicks quote.)

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-08-04

Next year in Paris!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 9:53 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I have not yet been to Paris. This year is so weird for someone who loves to travel and conjure places to go. I have always longed to go to Paris but haven’t even been to Europe yet.

I wish I could go back in time and beg my college aged self to go study abroad. I was barely able to afford to go to college on my maxed out student loans I had no concept of how to get to study abroad. So I never tried.

I wish I had tried! Anyway, last year I kept thinking about how at some point I was going to go on a date with someone to Paris. It’s such an ideal place for a third or fourth date. I like to dream big and it felt really possible last year.

Every now and again in quarantine I like to take myself on mental vacations somewhere when I walk on my forest path. Sometimes I pretend I’m walking along the Seine.

I don’t know how sane I sound (about walking along the Seine…) when I say that. Our imaginations are an incredible tool that can help with our mindset, attitude and overall experience of the world. Imagining places isn’t insane it’s actually a really practical mindset technique.

2020 is the year of no FOMO. There’s nothing really to miss out on, unless you feel compelled to be at every virtual gathering or conference (I don’t). I gave up experiencing FOMO when I lived in NYC. You’re never not missing out in NYC.

Today I contemplated that I’m not missing out on Paris right now. I can’t actually go (fun little meme going around showing the very few countries that are allowing US citizens to enter). No Paris FOMO, though who knows for how long.

I long to travel again but am serious about public health and staying put.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-08-03

Corona caution feels like something people are forgetting about

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 8:16 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

My mom told me the other day that if I was school aged she would not be sending me back to school during Corona. I feel oddly comforted knowing that, even though I’ve been out of the house for 24 years.

It’s really scary out there. I have so much compassion for folks caring for children during this quarantine. Full stop, just hard to get self care and do childcare let along work. My friends who have full time childcare in their lives or three parents caretaking are the only ones getting near enough self care and sleep.

On top of that trying to wrestle with decisions to sign death waivers about their kids in order to send them back to school. Like there’s no right answer.

I watching this IG TV with the chief of staff of Shriner’s pediatric hospital about corona and it only made me feel more secure with how cautious I feel about everything right now. Coronavirus remains a serious health risk. Just because it’s inconvenient doesn’t mean it went away.

People are going to Vegas. And then going home to their communities. Who are going to school. People are mostly getting sick from family gatherings. This is just longer and more lethal without everyone socially distancing.

Meanwhile your Aunt Rachael is recovering from Coronavirus and on the mend according to her telehealth appointment and hopefully she won’t have scary after shock symptoms like folks in NYC I know.

Things are just in constant uncertainty, no planning for the future except vague “hopefully in 2021” conversations. I actually don’t feel stressed by that. I think uncertainty has been part of my life for so long and I have a massive self care practice that keeps me pretty balanced. I do the best I can and keep moving forward with hope that the end of the movie is good.

“I’ve seen the end of the movie and we win,” is the cornerstone of my outlook and my attitude.

If you’re reading this, someday, then we did win!

xoxo,

Mom

Sunsets like this feel like a win.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-08-01

What to do if someone copies your idea

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 11:02 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Say you have a great idea and start putting it out there. A risk that comes with the game is getting copied. (A brilliant friend asked me for my advice about this and I gave it and wanted to put it here for you.)

The place you have most control over in this situation is your mind. If you react to this kind of thing from a scarcity mindset you will be long suffering. Head to abundance instead.

Abundance means there is always enough pie to go around. If you are in scarcity mindset, everyone is fighting over one piece of pie.

An abundance mindset when you’re getting copied, is to come from a secure position. You know there’s plenty to go around. You know, in fact, that which is real can never truly be copied.

Pay it no mind, other than to receive the flattery that your idea was so good it was worthy of copying.

Let the copies fade like a neglected store window display damaged by the sun. If you are the kind of person who seeks to be 1% better every day, you are always keeping the store display fresh. You’re innovating, finding new ways to serve customers/clients. The course of your career will stand out.

There is only ever one you in the whole of humankind. If you’re creating from an authentic place, seeking to ever become better and more authentic every day, your creations will have that imprint. And your whole career has that imprint, and all of that cannot be copied.

All the time I spent talking about and worrying about other folks copying me long ago… I literally thought to myself earlier tonight, “I had too much time on my hands to pay attention to that, I shoulda put my head down and gotten back to work on myself or my business!”

And then I remembered I don’t should on myself and I know I was always doing the best I knew how at the time!

I have never worked as hard as I do now, and I’m so glad I don’t waste my time on drama. To quote BeyoncĂ©, “Always stay gracious best revenge is your paper.”

xoxo,

Mom

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

2020-07-31

Feeling like there’s not enough space and nowhere to go

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 5:54 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I went to the grocery store today and I had a meltdown I have not had since I lived in a city–going on 8 months now. It would happen a lot in New York City the 11 years I lived there, and occasionally in Los Angeles. The meltdown is when I feel like there’s not enough space to be a person and it seems like there’s nowhere for me to “be” that isn’t “in the way.”

I have to think that thin people experience this, too, but my experience of feeling like there’s not enough space has everything to do with being fat. This happens in stores where the aisles are small, big crowds of people, restaurants that are too crowded, having wait staff hitting your chair a bunch. Basically for me, it’s feeling like there’s not enough space and nowhere for me to go.

No one in my life has ever clocked me for this but frequently if we arrive at a party together you’ll eventually find me entirely outside. My threshold for dealing with crowds has been waning steadily over the years. I remember a house party in Brooklyn (the worst for feeling like there’s anyplace to be that’s not in the way) where there were easily a hundred people crushed into a living room, a backyard that was filling up fast and the only exit through the front door via that crushing crowd.

Once I get to the point of feeling the meltdown of “there’s nowhere to be” I take deep breaths and get myself out of there. Today at the grocery store was NOTHING compared to NYC lifestyles but it stopped me from finishing my shopping. I just went right to the checkstand and started solving for next time.

I’m a fan of evaluated experience and today’s evaluation was: What factors lead to the grocery store feeling so crowded? What can I do differently?

I already make sure when I go to town I am not in a time crunch because going slow is the way to stay safer during a pandemic. I typically find a time block that I’m not already using for work and slide in there. However, Friday afternoon in a town that has a swell of population in the summer and lots of tourism is probably a popular time to go to the grocery store. I could choose to go in on a Tuesday morning. It means I can’t see clients that morning but it does mean I won’t feel boxed in or frustrated by too many people.

It used to be this feeling would land me in being frustrated about my fat body. Now that I’m of the mind that all bodies are good bodies and we take up the space we’re meant to, it didn’t even get to that for me today. I was just frustrated at the volume of people at a typically pretty chill food co-op. The problem is not a body size the problem is a world that is crowded and not built for actual human diversity.

I don’t know what wisdom I have to share from this, except to just remember what you have control over and what you don’t. That it’s okay to occasionally abandon plans when it feels like the circumstances aren’t aligning. If you develop your psychic abilities your crowd tolerance will likely wane. That you get to decide how you feel about crowds, parties, circumstances and follow your gut instincts always–I got out of that dangerous Brooklyn house party ASAP. And don’t stick around parties that don’t have enough fire exits.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-30

The heart of life is good

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — Bevin @ 1:11 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I drove up to Hurricane Ridge with mom (Nanny) this morning. Her spouse Pat had gone up with her photographer buddies a couple of weeks ago and I was jealous.

I’ve been hearing about Hurricane Ridge and how it’s “Like the Sound of Music” in the high mountain meadows covered with wildflowers. We never had enough time to visit Hurricane Ridge during the season on my previous visits before I moved here and when I finally got here in November it was already too snowy to go.

I’ve been asking when it’s okay to go and finally when Pat went I was like YAY LET’S DO THIS! But, we had a lot of Corona risk factors to keep in mind.

I live in a beautiful part of the world that is very touristy, especially in the summer. In my new place in the neighborhood I can hear the highway clearly and I know that there’s a ton of traffic headed right for the nature destinations to the East. (It’s also where the closest big box stores are, I’m sure there’s local traffic to account for.)

To dodge tourism we decided to go up early in the morning on a Thursday, departing at 8am and arriving just after 9. It was already fairly bustling with people while we ventured on our mountain path walk through the wildflowers and by the time it was 10:15AM there were more cars and people than I’d be comfortable with.

Only about 75% of folks were wearing masks up on the trails and in the parking lot even less people. Stressful, especially given all the info I keep reading about how even with a mask if a covid infected person isn’t wearing a mask it puts you at risk.

Hard to think of that and see other humans choosing not to wear masks and have compassion and empathy. I kept having to remind myself when I’d have a judgment thought loop beginning, “The heart of life is good.” I say it again and again. The script that my ego/judgment brain goes to is, “It’s HUMANS THAT ARE THE VIRUS.”

The heart of life is good.

There were magical wildflowers, my mom definitely did not wild forage wildflower seed pods and hide them in her pocket, and we had a lovely day looking at the trees, the mountains in the distance, Canada and a perfect little snowpile on a shady slope that looked like a heart.

A lovely morning hoping that the goodness of life will grow through this snowbank of a pandemic.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-28

Supply chain issues

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bevin @ 10:19 am

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

When the virus first broke out, we had no idea how it would affect our ability to get food and supplies. Mom went really hard in the garden this year so we were certain we would get fresh produce. For a second I thought about doing some canning.

Instead we just stocked up as was advised, for up to 30 days. I go into town once a week to replenish our water stash–the well water here is not delicious–and get supplemental groceries from the food co-op.

So far, at the end of July, four months into quarantine, I have only experienced two big disruptions in supply chain that have affected my life.

I ran out of PG Tips, which if you as my children don’t know that in my opinion this is the greatest commercially available black tea made for daily use then I have failed to prepare you for a great life. PG Tips. Remember this.

I’m trying hard to divest from Amazon, and it used to be I could get it at a little discount on PG Tips from them. Now it’s the same price or more than the grocery store (possibly due to better supply chain on the grocery end, maybe they got a better distributer, who knows).

Though I don’t have much money right now, I am incredibly intentional with how I spend it. So I spend at the Food Co-op which has the greatest impact on my local economy, rather than making Jeff Bezos more rich.

The Co-op (and the local Safeway, to be fair) throughout the pandemic, has had a few empty shelves due to distributor errors. They’ve had times where what they ordered didn’t come in at all and was just ??? when they would be getting things in. Nothing major, nothing irreplaceable. I just drank the rest of my stash of Irish Breakfast Tea from Trader Joe’s.

Finally they got some PG Tips in, in the 40 bag box not the 80 bag box I prefer. Not a huge disruption for an imported tea product. And like everything in this pandemic, it just took more patience on my part to weather the disruption.

The second big supply chain issue I had was Biscuit Reynolds’ food. He has lots of special needs, including a special food from Royal Canin that has two special formulas in it. I like to buy bulk to save over time, but the big bags weren’t available as he was running out of food.

I bought a bag from the online pharmacy our vet up here uses. And then as his food dwindled I heard nothing about shipping. I called, apparently Royal Canin was very disrupted by the pandemic and his food might not be available for a long time.

Panicked, looking at less than a week left of his food in my supply, I called the vet. I was able to get half his formula in a small bag from them (the Urinary SO, to prevent bladder crystals, arguably the most important half) and just had to suck up that I was spending way more than I budgeted for cat food and getting way less. July has been a weird month with more month than money.

But luckily he stayed fed and preventing bladder crystals which is a huge deal. And now his real food finally arrived and I’m just blending the two bags together as best as I can. He seems fine.

Someone predicted in the Fall we would really see supply chain effects from the coronavirus lockdown and I’m genuinely curious if we will. I’m staying adaptable.

xoxo,

Mom

Groomers opened back up in Phase 2 and so grateful he finally got shaved! He’s so much more comfortable.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-27

Aligning my days for productivity and minimal resistance

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 3:44 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Lately my focus has been on how to align my days for swift productivity and minimal resistance. Which has a lot to do with working smarter not harder and trying out new forms of energy.

First of all, I think most of our energy comes to us metaphysically and meditation and prayer are cornerstones of my life and routine. But even still, since the quarantine began I’ve been getting ultra tired early in the day. I think some of that is metaphysical, I process a lot for those around me and my energy healing clients. I also think this time is being called “The Great Pause” for a reason. It’s not necessarily about max productivity, rest is essential to productive work.

I learned recently that there’s no such thing as time management. Time is going to move along whether you’re “managing” it or not. What’s essential is priority management. That is much more doable and it helps you focus on those few things that truly do matter.

I have learned will power is burned off early in the day, and it’s when I feel sharpest, which is why I see my coaching and energy healing clients first thing in my day and why I try to get the things that require brain power done before 2pm.

I’m totally obsessed with physiology and how the way we move and fuel our bodies affects our experience and enjoyment of life. This stems back to my lifetime of dealing with depression. I get seasonal depression, I have regular genetic depression I can see all through my patriarchal line. (I do not know yet if you kids are genetically related to me or adopted, but I hope you don’t inherit a predisposition to depression or alcoholism. If you do I hope you learn from me how to align your self care so you don’t have to learn the same hard lessons I’ve had to!)

I have always known that dance helps me feel more joyful. In fact, the first thing I did when I was 19 years old and made the fateful decision that I wanted to “stop hating myself” (I had no language for self love, I did not yet understand or identify my depression) was to start doing dance aerobics again. I was using MTV’s The Grind workout on VHS during that era.

How lucky I was in that moment to have a vcr and tv in my dorm room and how wise I was to use dance to shift my perspective of life.

I study physiology for Fat Kid Dance Party because I want folks to have actionable, accessible tools to level up their experience in life. It’s also helpful for me! Not just the founder, I’m also a client!

In this season where I’m optimizing and adapting work efficiency I am working towards having my daily movement practice early in the morning. A wild feat for me since slow mornings are my jam and by the time I’m “ready” to move it’s hot and sunny outside. (Typically for me I move in the late afternoon/early evening.)

But it’s undoubtable that the earlier in the day I dance the more likely I am to be upbeat and dancey the rest of the day. And, oh, how satisfying life is when I feel like dancing.

We’ll see as I progress into daily morning movement how I do. Once I feel my energy flagging in the afternoon when I eventually do move it’s not with the same vigor I could give it in the morning.

I hope you never settle for good enough and keep working to get better and improve your experience of this one and only life you get to live.

xoxo,

Mom

My neighbor caught this while I was walking Biscuit Reynolds. While I don’t stand by this outfit choice for public consumption it was too cute not to share. (And that day I was part of a team putting woodchips down on our forest trail muddy bits and that early morning hauling and shoveling was great pep for the rest of my day.)

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-26

Zoom Domme

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 11:16 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

The first text I read this morning was that your Aunt Rachael was in the hospital for tests. She has the Corona, so this was a perfect day to also just dive right into the Agape church service. So many prayers went out for her today!

She was thankfully discharged, chest pains were muscle spasms from all the coughing she does because the corona feels like knives in your lungs.

And then later tonight we were both on Frankie’s birthday zoom call. I didn’t even know if she’d make it because she was in the hospital today. When she used her zoom wrangling skills to keep the party moving that she uses with executives at her corporate job, I was just so impressed.

First of all, every group zoom needs a Zoom Domme to keep things flowing (or a femmecee, or what have you). Facilitation is key in group gatherings!

And second of all, what a miracle to see her in her competency when just 10 hours earlier I was genuinely afraid she would take a turn for the worse. The Goddess is good!!!

Never forget the power of prayer and to thank the Goddess for every miracle! And enjoy whatever season you’re in because it’s temporary.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-24

I am so much happier with an iphone than my Google Pixel and it’s all about connection

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 10:29 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Your Aunt Rachael in Atlanta has the Corona. We’ve been in tight communication since before the pandemic thanks to Marco Polo, her polycule and my getting an iphone and being added to a group text thread.

Because of all of this newfangled communication–I know how careful she’s been! I’ve seen their polycule become a quarantine pod and I’ve seen them negotiate and talk about risk factors.

You can be ever so careful and one contact with one person outside your pod who said they were safe but forgot to mention dining outside at a cafe with co-workers… And now Rach is having trouble breathing, feels like an alien hijacked her body and can’t watch anything that makes her laugh too much because of the breathing.

I know that worry doesn’t do anything but rob the present of joy. So I do things: Praying. Seeing her whole and healed in my mind’s eye. Talking to other folks about wearing masks–I can’t believe there’s so much resistance to a very practical solution to disease spread.

I’ve been sending lots of energy healing her way. I’ve loved all the massive communication with all of her awesome polycule friends and loves. It’s been rad to know how she’s being supported. It helps from across the country to be that connected.

I stuck to android devices for the entirety of the iphone era. I just switched to the iphone in May when I moved into my trailer, the Lavender Queen. My Google pixel finally gave out and after all of my many years of exclusive android use I switched to the iphone.

The thing that’s most important in life are your people. I knew that having an iphone would make it easy to connect to folks. It’s so much harder to set up an appointment with someone I’m really close with to talk on facetime when you have to use a computer to get facetime.

I kept using android because it made business easier when I was a lawyer. I essentially had an office on my phone and the functionality was easier and better. But I have not been a practicing attorney for a few years now and I just absolutely love having a quick phone based facetime check in with the people I love. I can’t believe I waited this long!

And the imessage group text threads! We can post bitmoji stickers?? I feel like we’re a group of cartoons hanging out.

I’m still on a steep learning curve right now–iphone functionality is fiddly for me, but 2 months into having an iphone and I’m really appreciating it.

Never appreciated it more than a spontaneous facetime group from the imessage on day one of corona symptoms for Rach. And then spontaneous check ins via facetime so I could hear how she was doing and see her face. (She still looks amazing, and forever award winning cleavage.)

I was like, wow this tiny device has so much more connection to offer because of the people on it. And connection is the most important thing there is!

xoxo,

Mom

A camping collage from the Glowing Goddess Getaway couple’s retreat in 2019. Joshua Tree. Unforgettable weekend!

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-22

The Tidy Cats Breeze branded litter box pads are 500% better than the Amazon Basics pads

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bevin @ 10:27 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm. Also all the links to Amazon on this earn me a tiny commission from whatever you buy when you enter Amazon through that link. Thanks for helping me run this blog!)

Dear Kids:

I remain obsessed with my cat litter box, the Tidy Cats Breeze system. I don’t know if there will ever be a system that tops it, but I’m ready to know. I hope when you’re adults and ready for cat companions that there has been an even better litter box invented.

Last year I got excited when I bought these generic “Amazon Basic” pads for the box. They are far cheaper than the branded Tidy Cats Breeze box pads. Every penny counts when you’re an entrepreneur, but it was scarcity mindset that kept me using the pads when I first moved into the Lavender Queen, my trailer.

Now that I live in a very small space, I can assure you, the branded Tidy Cats Breeze box pads are far superior.

In my castle in Los Angeles, I had the cat box inside a big cabinet with a hole cut out. (My mom, your Nanny, made it and gave it to me when she downsized.) I never smelled the pee on the pee pad with the Amazon Basics, but I did need to change it more frequently.

In the fairy cottage I sublet when I first moved to the Olympic Peninsula, I had the litter box in a little vestibule off the hallway. Didn’t notice a smell often but every now and again I would smell cat pee and spray Nature’s Miracle “around” the floor to “refresh” the environment.

When I moved into the Lavender Queen and the most logical place to keep the litter box was in my small bedroom, it would smell like pee in like 3 days. I kept “refreshing” the carpet and it took me about three weeks to realize that it was the pee pads–they didn’t trap odor at all!

I knew the solution was likely switching back to the original pee pad. But I just let scarcity mentality rule for awhile and I suffered! Why??? It’s a little over $3 a week for pellets and branded pee pads. $12 a month is still less than I was paying in actual clay litter that tracks all over my house. It would be unbearable in this tiny space to have to sweep like that, I still just pick up the pellets when they get out of the box and toss them back in.

I lived with that cat pee smell way longer than I should have! I deserve to have an environment that smells awesome–nothing like pee! I want anyone coming into my space to only know I have a cat because they met him!

Anyway, I give myself props for finally getting around to buying the branded Tidy Cats Breeze pads . I changed the pad after one week and never smelled pee! They truly trap odor!

Kids, I hope you never settle for an environment that doesn’t support you thriving.

xoxo,

Mom

I’m learning a lot about boundaries living with my cat during quarantine.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

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