Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2020-07-19

Today was a harder day in quarantine

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 8:48 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I took a break today to go play ping pong with my mom. She bought a moveable table set from a facebook ad over the winter (dreaming of summer days and ping pong) and we inaugurated it at her birthday party two weeks ago. I figured I’d keep making her vision a reality and up my mirth on a day where mirth felt a little hard to access.

It feels like time is hurtling by. March of this year felt like the longest month ever because our entire paradigm kept shifting. Word of the virus, word of a potential shut down, word of shutting down, word of really shutting down. In my mind this all began March 15th.

It was scary but seemed doable. I was grateful for all the emotional maturity and stability I had developed in the past year. 2019 was uncertainty central and covid quarantine only brought more uncertainty. I had a strong routine and had been making great strides and decisions towards my emotional stability.

I remember thinking that by July things would be opening back up. I don’t think that’s actually incorrect–I was able to get Biscuit Reynolds groomed on Friday because they are phase 2 re-opening and Washington hasn’t had to roll back to phase 1 like California.

I definitely thought July would be like, more fully open than it is. And since this second wave of covid has come on so strong I feel like this is the time everyone’s most vulnerable. I opted out of a very tempting weekend away with some dear ones of mine simply because I think it feels too risky to fly commercial.

I did leave it open if I find someone with a private jet to loan me. Truly, I feel safe in her far remote neck of the woods in the desert, just as I feel safer up here in so far north I can see Canada from where I’m sitting right now.

But also. If time is going by so swiftly, I can probably wait until Fall. I miss my friends and hugs and lounging in floaties on the grass smoking grass with babes at the Glowing Goddess Getaways. In my alternative pre-planned 2020 I would be on tour right now with Biscuit Reynolds in a Class B RV going to GGGs and stopping at friends between and having a couple different weeks as a teacher at girls self esteem camps (I had booked one in Maine and I figured I could find at least one more).

Instead, I’m bringing summer camp vibes to all of my weekly online aerobics class subscribers by filming aerobics in the woods.

I’m so wildly grateful I live full time essentially at summer camp. When I lived in the city I always felt like I needed regular recharging in nature. Now that I know what it’s like to have that battery always full I’m like, okay I’ll dip into cities sometimes but really I gotta get back and look for new mushrooms in the forest.

I have some grief about what I thought 2020 was going to be, and I am also doing my very best to appreciate where I am and what I am doing instead. Everyday can feel like vacation if you let it–this is why I have been working on my emotional stability and maturity. But, even still, today was kind of a rough and grumpy day. I am segment intending my way to an early night’s sleep.

One thing I can always count on: things always feel better in the morning.

xoxo,

Mom

I haven’t bothered to look up what this Christmas plant is called; I call it what it looks like. The Goddess is so good to make the foliage perfect for Christmas in July in this blessedly cool forest. Today was the hottest it’s been all summer at 74 degrees.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

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