No one has to "deserve" to cry in order to deserve to cry. Being ashamed of our tears is a result of the hyper independence we are taught by the white hetero capitalist patriarchy. When I say evict the cop from your brain, this is one example of the way we are taught to police ourselves, to deny our emotions for other people's comfort.
Let’s remember that hands have five digits each and the vigorousness, stamina and strength one can offer with a forearm is far more than what’s possible with other appendages.
Working with foxglove energy is powerful, especially if you resonate with fairies. The fairies aren't medicine to everyone, so check in with your vibes on it. Mostly what I do with foxgloves is hang out, watch their growth and change, marvel at their uniqueness and welcome the fairy vibration.
Fairies help with inner child healing, physical ailments, playfulness, energy, inspiration and household tasks. (And more!)
We are in a time in the Earth's evolution where our personal frequency matters more than ever and we want to be generating our cells in as elevated an environment as possible. Like the food we eat (and supplements) that help our cells generate vibrantly, sound healing is part of giving us the best shot at living verdant, peaceful lives.
Sniffing flowers is less than five minutes of my day but I think it's sacred to spend any amount of your life with 100% pure present moment in the pleasures that delight you.
Our desires are holy information bringing forth a powerful future collectively, and it's important to notice them and indulge them when we are able to. Being on a flower sniffing mission has brought a lot of joy to me this past month.
I was once an attorney and studied law all the time now I work with bodies and study the physiology of wellness. It is very understandable how our bodies resist grind culture and it is bonkers how our culture glorifies burn out.
I've been thinking a lot about how powerful it is in the economy to spend our money directly with other people, and not to companies with shareholders. Imagine if a few hundred people started tipping with cash lavishly how much that could change our economic situation? Community care has shown itself to be the way again and again.
Empaths can experience anxiety, depression, stress, psychosis, you name it because of other people's energy! Protect yourself!
Changing the way you perceive yourself and the feeling tone of thoughts you have is like turning a big battleship in the ocean. You can’t just flip a U turn, it’s a slow intentional process.
“Albums still matter. Like books and Black lives. Albums still matter.”–Prince Rogers Nelson
Welcome back to Bevin’s playlist! I’m the algorithm now! If art decorates our walls, music decorates our time!
When Prince Rogers Nelson said that about albums it made me get way more intentional about dropping in and hearing a whole album start to finish in the order curated by the artist and producer.
Here are the albums I suggest if you’ve already worn out Chappell Roan’s The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess.
Watching someone I love blow up on the world stage is always so gratifying! Like seeing Cardi B and Lizzo get recognition for their great work, our lesbian drag queen hero Chappell is amazing and at just 25 years young I am so impressed with her boundaries with fame! One of my favorite things that happened in 2024 was the cultural dominance of Chappell’s unabashed lesbian pop art and I am so grateful for it.
Remi Wolf: Big Ideas. Pop music with a groove, this album is fun to listen to and get lost in about feelings. The first track Cinderella you’ve likely heard I think it’s been everywhere. (And the video art is Remi running around in an aerobics leotard and side boob, personal joy of mine that the video shoot had that look.) A lot of the tracks will get you dancing–Toro has me throwing my hands in the air. Alone in Miami is so fun to sing along to. Bisexual themes! The day this album debuted I listened to it on repeat relentlessly. It’s so catchy.
Maggie Antone: Rhinestoned. She’s like Chappell in the young big feelings songwriting way, but instead of pop Maggie is deeply country/Americana. Actually, since she uses the phrase “misogynist jokes” in a lyric I would classify her as Cuntry. I have a Scorpio Moon and Venus and adore songs that go into the deep big feels place and she sure does. A lot of the album stories reminds me of my party girl /bad decision making past. She sings about smoking cannabis and I think the title track of the album is so good for anyone who is a fancy stoner. I love the song High Standards–anyone who has experienced living in a prohibition state and having to endure annoying company in order to get access to cannabis can relate. And the first track Johnny Moonshine is so jaunty and fun! As someone who wishes I had more dates in Texas, Mess With Texas is very cute. I have listened to this album so many times–no skips!
Gossip: Real Power The first studio album from Gossip since 2012 was such a gift to me! I also got to see Gossip when they came to Seattle. It was everyone’s gay date night–so many couples. And I’ve never been to a concert where they sold ear plugs but when your fan base is solidly middle age now I suppose that’s part of what we need. (And maybe that’s what I look for now as a concert goer?) Act of God is my favorite track which I think encapsulates the human experience of surrender to a bigger plan. This new album has the driving drums on several tracks of previous Gossip albums (and their early punk work which I still love so much) and more bluesy/soul songs that remind me of Beth Ditto’s solo releases. Synthesizer songs, too!
Okay, if you resonate with any of these let me know, I love being a Good Influence!
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“The role of the artist is to make the revolution irresistible.” –Toni Cade Bambara
Beloveds! Welcome to a new project. I’ve been reviewing my work over the past 2 decades. In addition to throwing parties I’ve often been in the role of cultural curator.
Art is one of the most long lasting things someone can create! I want to amplify artists who are way showers in these Revolutionary times. Here are some things I suggest you check out!
✨Since the election, I am really appreciating the soothing good advice of Dean Spade about movement work. I remember the moment I met Dean, on Valentines day in 2003, at a hotel room party during a gender conference. I was finishing law school and he was a fresh attorney who had just finished launching a grass roots trans focused law project.
Here’s a link to Dean’s website with lots of podcast interviews and info on his books. Here’s a sweet missive on IG about not relying on the government for confirming the identities of trans and gender non conforming folks. (I love the phrase “Admiring each other’s beautiful, bizarre, extravagant, rebellious genders.”) Here’s a post on TikTok about shifting away from false narratives of safety and find real hope.
So grateful for Dean’s vast body of work and persistence through all this.
🎪This week, everyone is talking about the murder of the United Healthcare CEO. A man who allowed claim denials performed by AI to persist with a 90% incorrect rate. What a great reminder of social murder, since poor folks have such shortened life spans due to the social determinants of health.
What a great reminder that the government will put millions into the search for one assailant of one rich person–remember the millions poured into finding the billionaires in the submarine–but little to no resources towards resolving the murders of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls (and anyone else without money or social capital). More info about #MMIW
Here’s a great video from a woman working in insurance who breaks down the monopoly of United Healthcare and how terrible they are. (In these times it is whistleblowers on social media who are making big waves in the Revolution.)
I don’t care to follow conservative content but I do follow Matt Bernstein and he does a great job synthesizing what I need to know. The conservative response to the murder of the CEO is fascinating. Anecdatally, as I wander the world in my very purple area of Washington, universal healthcare is wildly popular across political affiliation.
Mangia the Rich shirts (and Italian cookie merch and tomato stuff and so much more) support my pals Ketch & Melanie’s second parent adoption! Great holigay gifts for a great cause.
🎭 In not-to-miss media, the documentary “Megan Thee Stallion: In Her Words” streaming on Prime, is excellent. Megan is exceptionally vulnerable and transparent about her mental health journey. I was in tears the first ten minutes.
Directed by Nneka Onuroah, who won an Emmy for “Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrrls,” it is great storytelling. MTS loves anime and I adored the animation used to supplement the story when live action wasn’t available. We need to talk more about grief, grieving, healing and taking the space we need to heal.
Here’s a link to the trailer for the film, here’s a link to the movie on Prime. (If you buy anything from Jeffrey’s everything website I get a tiny commission at no cost to you!)
💕 My latest podcast is a solo episode reminiscing about the first Burning Man event I attended. (Alchemy, a regional burn in Georgia.) Watch on you tube or listen wherever you pod (search “Bevin”).
I started a Substack to simulpost my blog posts, in case getting emails is easier for you than checking my website! In these days as folks exit the Meta apps in droves, I want to serve you more mindfully than a robot algorithm!
My goal is to get a playlist out to you once a week! With lots of other posts about the Relentless Pursuit of my Joy! How can I help you regard yourself with love and grace?
Please support my work!
Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)
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Venmo: @bevinb
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Buy my aerobics video! fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack
Buy me an audio book from Libro.fm: https://libro.fm/referral?rf_code=lfm624922
Send me a gift card or just switch your listening to their audiobook platform so we can starve Bezos.
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party
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Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
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Content Warning: Mention of caregiver abuse.
When I moved to the woods five years ago, I was surfing a lot of uncertainty. Feeling lost and in need of a healing journey I turned to a daily walk practice that really helped me move through a dark night of the soul.
I kept remembering this time when I was five years old and I got to go back to live with my mom after circumstances landed me with my dad and his parents. Mom had my bedroom all set up for me. Care Bear sheets, a Care Bear comforter she sewed for me. A little clock radio next to my bed.
I treasured that clock radio–it was the first time I had ever had control over music in my life and I could listen to the soft rock hits of the 80s through that radio while I went to sleep.
While I was living with my dad and his parents, my Grammy physically, emotionally and verbally abused me. A tiny four year old.
Caregiver abuse is all too common and I can’t give you a formula for recovery from it. But I can share with you how I walked my way back into parts of myself I abandoned after that abuse.
It was either a psychic reading or a card reading that showed me I needed to connect with my inner five year old. I had the inkling (and following our intuition is a path to healing) that connecting to her would help me release the pain from that time and unpack some of my swirling feelings during my gay divorce.
Remembering that clock radio, I started walking in the woods and listening to the “Top Hits of 1984” which was the year I was five years old.
Teaching Fat Kid Dance Party Aerobics, I use nostalgia and music as a portal to transport and connect to our inner child. I thought this would help me.
A healing journey isn’t flipping a switch and everything is better. It’s a circuitous path of making more nourishing choices, witnessing parts of ourselves without judgment, backsliding and returning to the path, weathering emotions that are uncomfortable and eventually feeling better.
That playlist connected me to a time when things were very hard, uncertain and painful for me as a child without anyone to guide me through it. And now that I’m a grown-up, with tools and patience and unconditional love and acceptance for my inner child, I can be the safe space she needed to process those Big Feels.
I had another reading in early 2023 that told me my inner 11 year old needed attention, so I did the same thing with walks in the woods to “Top hits of 1989.” I actually had a few big break throughs watching my favorite movie from that year, The Little Mermaid.
I had a party last year and when putting together the playlist for my friends I considered when each person was five years old and put songs on the playlist from those eras. It was a big hit!
There’s so much more to say about the process of inner child healing, and I’ll be writing more about it in the coming weeks. We teach what we most need to learn and I’ve been doing this work for many years!
In the meantime, I have developed several aerobics classes that focus on 80s Inner Child healing & 90s inner child healing that have come out of my healing process, if you care to dance with me! Here’s a class you can rent or if you want the whole collection, check out my theme classes in the On Demand membership. Pretty much any class I teach involves inner child healing, because Fat “Kid” Dance Party is about healing that kid that felt left out, whether or not you’ve had a fat experience.
Dancing and play help us learn and heal 7-20 times faster than just reading and listening to things. I hope you dance!
If you find value in this blog, please consider supporting!
Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bevin (safe and secure way to buy me a snack!)
Venmo: @bevinb
Cash App: $BevinBoss
Buy my aerobics video! fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party
Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty
Work one on one with me: https://queerfatfemme.com/one-on-one-with-bevin/
Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
You Tube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/c/SelfCareParty
Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into that “astronaut’s” profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9
Threads, Tik Tok, Twitter: @bevinsparty
Facebook.com/bevinsparty
Like/subscribe/review/send a link to a friend! It all helps!