Rule #1: There's no wrong way to do Fat Kid Dance Party--you already belong with us! Rule #2: We cheer for awkward! Rule #3: If you want to sing along go ahead. If you can't sing, sing loud! Rule #4: We high five for self care!
I wondered whether to share this in my "kid letters" but since the intent is that you'll read these as an adult, and I want you to be empowered and own your sexuality no matter what it ends up being. (And knowing it can change! And that's cool!)
I keep my head planted in this zone where I'm certain about the future, and present and appreciative of what I can be in this moment. And staying put, sheltered in place. And deeply aware of how powerless I am over this disease and pandemic.
"I'm not a practicing attorney anymore because lawyers have four times the national rate of suicide."
I lost about a third to a half of my projected 2020 income within the space of a week. But, I have multiple sources of income and could shift my focus to that. I had strong routines. I had a lot of mental health supportive self care. I had strong leadership in my life. And now, five months into this quarantine, I feel thriving.
It takes an emotionally mature and mentally tough person to adapt cheerfully when things don't go their way. I had originally intended to be on the road much of this summer and that didn't happen. The pandemic is making travel potentially lethal. I don't really need to go anywhere. So I'll cheerfully adapt and see what I can learn about myself staying in one place for a long time.
But constantly being in a rush, focused only on my point of view and not taking into consideration different communication styles or what someone was really communicating was a huge liability. 85% of job advancement is based on people skills, according to research by Stanford, Harvard and the Carnegie Foundation. Developing those I've realized how much slower I need to go in order to have the connections and depth with folks that my Scorpio Moon desires!
In life no matter what you'll absolutely be disappointed, treated unfairly, just plain knocked on your ass. If you choose not to learn from it, you will continue to be presented the same lessons in different circumstances until you do. So it's just best practice to learn from it, evaluate it and get better.
Today I contemplated that I'm not missing out on Paris right now. I can't actually go (fun little meme going around showing the very few countries that are allowing US citizens to enter). No Paris FOMO, though who knows for how long.
I wanted to share two very simple ways to help call for a ceasefire.
This link goes to a google doc that allows you to click on your state and send an email to your reps and Senators who are funding this war. You can edit the email before it goes out.
Israel has universal healthcare and we do not, but we robustly fund their military!
It’s easy to clickie and makes a big impact. While I don’t think voting changes anything, I do continue to use my voice in government as much as I can because people died to ensure me that right.
After the response to Covid-19 I do not trust the government to “do the right thing” I only trust caring community members to do the right thing.
I think our real power is in our collective participation or non participation in the corporations who are robbing our planet for profit and exploiting people’s bodies and labor! (I do not shop from sweatshops or Walmart or anything like that.)
There’s a boycott called for Starbucks, McDonald’s and Disney! Easy to avoid all three of those! Swap your Starbucks for a local coffee shop! Swap McDonald’s for literally any other fast food. Don’t buy Disney toys this Christmas! Don’t go see their movies in the theater!
I hear from folks that the boycott is already working and that’s why Starbucks and McDonalds are offering some mega deals on their apps right now–trying to lure folks in. What a time to moralize the brand of lil treat you’re picking up.
I’m not someone who goes out in the street to protest and I salute those who choose to participate in that. I think these efforts take all kinds of participations. I wanted to give you something easy.
Our consumer power is the most important. We all have time, attention and money to spend–curating how you do that with folks who align with your values is how we will create the world of our dreams instead of investing in this murderous paradigm. (See my post about how tipping and spending our money directly with other humans will change the world.)
The joy I felt when Taylor Allison Swift announced that her Eras Tour was coming to movie theaters! I immediately texted my local bestie Alexis and asked her to help me figure out where it was playing close to us.
I moved to the Olympic Peninsula in (so-called*) Washington State nearly four years ago right before the pandemique. I still get mixed up about the distinctions between Seattle, Tacoma, Bellingham and Olympia because they are all roughly 2 hours away (but you gotta plan 3 because of ferries and drawbridges).
I live over the river and through the woods for real.
Alexis grew up in Everett with summers and weekends in Port Townsend (where my PO Box lives! I’m a half hour away in the lesbian woods) and she knows the geography.
And Alexis, like Taylor Allison, is part of the millennial micro-generation I believe is here to help save humanity. It’s their common astrology that gives me chosen micro-generation vibes off them. More about it in the podcast episode about Taylor Swift’s astrological birth chart with my friend and astrologer Jana of Feeling Loudly.
This generation also all grew up with the internet and therefore are generally very good at getting information from the world wide web. The Age of Aquarius is about using the internet to bring sacred communities and information together to uplift humanity.
Moments later Alexis had booked tickets for the Thursday following the premier (October 19th) in a theater an hour away–the closest we could get. The first showing, at 12:30PM, eased my mind because I try to mitigate my Covid 19 risks as much as possible so I can teach aerobics for the rest of my life. As it was a school day I thought it might be a lower attendance showing. (It was!)
Like Taylor I love special numbers and I loved paying $19.89 for my ticket! $23 with fees venmoed to Alexis.
We just send ideas of money around to one another. Money is just units of energy we all were indoctrinated to agree upon. There are other beautiful ways of transacting and compensating that don’t involve the government!
The artist’s intent for the movie showings as stated on her Instagram dot com page was that we have “Eras attire, friendship bracelets, singing and dancing encouraged 🫶 1, 2, 3 LGB!!!! (iykyk).”
I pondered my outfit for a long time, and kept feeling the nudge to wear my actual prom dress. If an outfit can be a soul mate I met mine at the Macy’s plus size department in May of 1996. I have worn it dozens of times, including glamping. The fabric is resilient and the perfect blurple color. I thought it really served the look she went for with her Enchanted performance at the Eras tour. The pics she posted of those gowns!!!! I didn’t even realize her aesthetic for the Enchanted performance was a bunch of digital purple flowers surrounding her!** Serendipity!
Other than Taylor’s own posts about the tour and my personal friend’s instagram stories of being at the tour I didn’t research it. The movie was shot over three nights at the Sofi Stadium in Los Angeles (70,000 person sold out show). A a fresh delight for me at every turn.
October came on so fast and Thursday I got a kind of frazzled text message from Alexis about her arts counsel meeting (she’s a local entrepreneur and involved in helping support the arts in the City of Port Townsend) and the timing for our movie with an option to change when and how we saw the movie.
My strategy is to call people when I don’t fully understand text messages. She explained that the Uptown theater in Port Townsend was offering showings of the Eras tour. (I didn’t even know there was another theater besides the gorgeous Rose theater that plays indie movies! I’m always learning new things! Thank Goddess for Alexis my local tour guide!)
“Maybe we can see it in town after the Witch Walk on Saturday?” Our witch dancing group the Dancing Witches of the Olympic Peninsula was doing a pop-up performance of our witch dance. It was the perfect line-up and I was already planning to wear my prom dress as my witch outfit for Saturday!
I think talking transparently about money is really important and topples the patriarchy which feeds off our shame. I am saving up for new vet exam and elder cat blood tests and refills of his medicines and an unexpected car wheel repair. So I didn’t have the money to buy tickets again.
Alexis’s response, “Oh, as the person changing the plans I’m totally happy to pay for the tickets for the new showing!” Alexis is a great and conscientious friend and date!
As we were getting out of the car at the movie theater and I was doing my Enovid virus preventing nasal spray (thank you to my blog reader/supporter Reema for sending me her extra bottle!! So grateful to have another level of protection easing my mind!) and telling Alexis about the one lyric change I wish Taylor Allison Swift would make just for me.
I’m a Christmas Eve baby, and since Dolly Rebecca Parton leaves her Christmas decor up til her birthday (January 21, also a Capricorn) I think it’s so radical to leave the lights up til February. So I always sing February during “Lover.”
When Taylor played it during the concert movie Alexis and I were singing along and BOTH sang “We can leave the Christmas lights up til FEBRUARY! This is our place we make the rules!” That felt so special!
I felt very at ease in my first movie theater experience since early 2020 (I saw Fantastic Fungi at the Rose theater!) because there were less than 30 people in a room with a capacity greater than 200. Social distancing protocol says you should ideally be at less than 33% capacity to limit the spread of viruses.
Before the show I felt nervous about going around to the mostly teenage audience with my enamel pins instead of friendship bracelets! I FEEL AWKWARD for me means 3-2-1-GO! for expanding my nervous system.
The delight and surprise on the faces of the folks I connected with was so wonderful. Do the awkward thing! Reach out for a connection! Not a single person said no to my gift; it sparked some sweet conversations.
One mom was there with her teenage daughter and talked about how fun it is to share this music with her now. It reminded me of my mom and I sharing Indigo Girls when I was a teen!
A group of four teens ran over to me from their seats when they realized I was gifting these pins.
And these pins… dear reader. I made these collaboratively with my very First Love. They are a graphic designer/artist and if I had known back in my first (or second) heartbreak with them that one day I would be a struggling entrepreneur with no budget and big dreams that JLV would be instrumental in making my artistic visions come to life it would have been a balm.
The enamel pins designed as a derivative of the 90210 logo (they are also a total 90210 devotee) with the words “Three Cheers for Awkward” also have a gorgeous pin card. When you’re desiging pins don’t forget you need a good card for presentation.
These pins are one of my favorite things JLV and I have created together and I wished they were there to see these art babies going out in the world and delighting the teens. The shift in energy I felt in everyone from receiving a cute pin from a fairy in a purple gown was the highlight of my very fun day! Thank you Taylor for telling us to bring the friendship bracelet energy to the movies!
One of the teens asked if I thought “we were allowed to sing and dance.” I told them that was the wrong question. The artist’s intent is that we sing and dance in the theater so I think just do that if you feel the Spirit.
Their group was standing and singing and dancing for the last third of the concert movie.
I didn’t come to this concert movie to play it cool and I’m totally over caring if people think I’m crazy. We had such a great time! Singing when and how we want to! Getting up and dancing! Changing to a different section because our seats were hurty and the ones in the back were more cushy! (Old theater hack–the seats are probably different around the room!)
About half the theater was up and dancing during Shake it Off which was fun to experience. I kind of danced too hard for wearing a mask but no regrets.
I LOVED it. And I ended up using our original Thursday tickets to bring my mom to the theater! We had a lovely day together and she reflected afterwards that it was the kind of thing you had to experience in person because you just couldn’t know the art of it all if you didn’t watch it.
One of the privileges that Taylor sometimes leverages is the width of her audience and impact for social acceptance of LGBTQ+ folks.
She began the tour with Lover era–the concert tour that was canceled due to the 2020 shelter in place shut down. Lover was the album where she first used her voice to shut down gay hating and misogyny.
Singing The Man and You Need to Calm Down at the top of the show was an impactful choice. In Philadelphia alone she performed to more than 210,000 people across her nights at the stadium. Hillary couldn’t command more than 4,000 people in a room in Philly during her run for president and DT can barely get half that. For more about Taylor’s political influence this three minute video on tik tok dot com by Pearlmania500 is incredible. Her crowds prove she could win the presidency if she wanted.
During the song Lover two couples were slow dancing and one was a pair of seemingly two men–of course you cannot tell gender based on appearance. But folks will be impacted seeing two men slow dancing alongside Taylor. It’s a tender song!
There was a fat dancer solo vogueing towards the end of the show (Midnight’s era–her most recent new album closed the show). I have seen it twice and still don’t remember which song simply the impactful delightful solo!
There’s a lot of great choreography that I’m excited to study if this show is available on small screens.
I’m used to listening to Taylor Swift’s music while I’m alone. These feelings are EXPOSING! It’s like my most tenderest morsels being sung along to by tens of thousands of people.
I’m impressed at Taylor’s stamina! Just walking up and down that long stage for 3.5 hours would be too much for most Americans. Add SINGING AND DANCING! Her physical fitness and fortitude is peak.
I loved the production and the screens. The catwalk and stage was entirely a screen that frequently changed based on the choreography. It would appear to be a bunch of breaks in ice during one song, and then an ocean wave she swam through in another. The stage had risers that came up from the stage and in one song the dancers used light up batons to trash a porche, which would progressively appear to have been beaten. (It’s giving 2005 Before He Cheats vibes.)
Seeing it the second time was fabulous because I could pay more attention to the dancers and the the costumes. Her mics were different each era and I loved how Evermore and Folklore mics were wooden because she’s in a forest in those eras!
Last Winter I choreographed a lantern dance to a Taylor Swift song from Folklore (Invisible String). I debuted it at our Glowing Goddess Sisterhood gathering as we entered Spring. I asked everyone to wear white, we all crafted cute lanterns, it was hours of prep for 3 minutes of dancing–I regret nothing! (I will post the very simple choreography to the song on this blog before Solstice so you and your babes can dance in the woods to it.)
That Taylor and her dancers did a lantern dance wearing hoods during the Evermore era was so special to me.
Am I psychically linked to Taylor Allison Swift? She is exactly 11 years younger than me, our birthdays are 11 days apart, this year she is 33 and I am 44 and Dolly Rebecca Parton is 77. I just don’t think these are coincidences!
If this concert movie comes out in IMAX I’m gonna go again. Heck, I would go for the third time if someone asked me! Just know I’ll be dancing!
Though to be transparent when I saw it with my mom I didn’t get up and dance. I did get up and use the powder room during the perfectly placed halftime song 10 minutes of All Too Well. But I was just enjoying kicking it in the AMC theater recliner watching a concert.
This movie bonus is so accessible of her! I dislike big crowds and arenas. I like the ease with which I could see this concert (twice!) at movie theaters. Thank you Taylor for giving us this access to your incredible art!
*So-called because some white guys with guns came and stole land and decided what to call it? Hmmmm…
**After seeing the movie for the first time I was scouring the internet to figure out what flowers those were supposed to be behind Taylor Swift in her Enchanted performance at the Eras Tour. They look like they could be crocuses, tulips or maybe even violets when the camera is shooting the catwalk stage from above! I know that everything Taylor does is choreographed and intentional and I love flower magic. I asked my mom as the song began when we saw it together and she said with certainty they are crocuses! It’s Fall and the perfect time to plant some crocus bulbs in the Taylor Swift part of your garden! They are an early riser in the Spring!
Do you find value in my work? I’m a crowd funded artist by folks like you! Thank you to everyone who makes it possible for me to blog, podcast and teach body positive aerobics!
Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)
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Venmo: @bevinb
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Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
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It’s cuffing season! That sacred time of year that people seek to keep warm with someone they want to stay safer at home with! I recognize that probably less than 10% of the people reading this even want to go on a date with me and others might just read it cuz they are curious! I hope you are inspired to ask for what you want and to name your desires openly.
SOGIE is an acronym for sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. Everyone has a sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression.
My sexual identity is queer and gender identity and expression is Femme. I am typically oriented towards masculinity with a little sugar in the pot but occasionally swoon for other Femmes. I’ve dated folks across the pronoun and gender spectrum and I do not care what is in your pants.
I live on the Olympic Peninsula and I have lots of experience with long distance lovers. I love a good text banter but don’t expect or want to be texting anyone every day unless we were explicit about that mutual desire.
I can probably vibe if I want to date you from a Zoom call.
I love the comfort and safety of my living room and I love Zoom and Facetime as options for synchronous intimacy with folks all over the world. I’m honest and kind and if I don’t feel it as more than friends I will tell you when I know. I need to develop emotional safety in order to feel desire for someone, so it might take me a bit to know if that vibe is there.
I like to date for present moment experience, not necessarily for long term compatibility. I like to go on dates with my friends, but I am not the kind of person who has sex with friends. I have Venus in Scorpio I really need chemistry.
The things I’m interested in doing in person this Winter include jigsaw puzzles, bundling up for slow walks in the forest, nature adventures, cooking for you, listening to records, talking through movies at home.
I’m very Covid cautious and still mask in public. I will ask that you test before we meet up and if you need tests I will give you one when I see you. I also trust that you are taking personal responsibility for your immune system during this time. If you get symptoms before we meet up, stay home! I will reschedule with you!
I’m looking for companions who embody and seek to further embody (we are all works in progress, I work on all of these, too):
Cleverness of a Crow
Confidence of an Eagle
Heart of a Lion
Ambition of a Bee
Freedom of a Horse
Bees see themselves as members of a colony not individuals. Unambitious people are a real turn-off to me. I want someone whose ambitions involve everyone. I believe we didn’t come here to fix a broken world we came to create the world of our dreams.
I don’t care if you’re a BIG DREAMER like me but you should absolutely love that I’m a big dreamer.
You should also be visibly delighted by me. If you’re weird or shamey of me shining my light that’s a hard boundary for me. I LOVE gratitude and practice it lavishly. A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.
Complaining and whining are turn offs for me. I keep my complaining between me and my therapist and coaches. I’m open to some venting now and again in a container approved for venting. “Hey, can I vent? Can I seek your advice on something hard for me?” That’s all good. But please don’t complain about your job or the same situation all the time and take no action to fix it or set boundaries.
If you hate being outside we are not a match. I love being outside and try to spend 2 hours moving outside every day.
In our interactions I’m going to be assessing for emotional safety, intellectual chemistry and mirth. Make me laugh! I love dad jokes! I love to laugh and when I had experienced 40 revolutions around the sun I declared I am going to spend time with people who made me laugh from here on out. I will also assess how Biscuit Reynolds, my Feline Overlord likes you.
I love to use cannabis and psilocybin for healing and fun. I DO NOT do these medicines within the first few times of meeting a date. I like to date sober since I stopped drinking alcohol 11 years ago. I do not mind if you use cannabis with me when we hang the first couple times before I feel comfortable. This decision is how I can connect best.
I like folks who have a sense of style but that’s not a dealbreaker.
If we are going on more than a few dates and you don’t come to the aerobics class I teach (which I will guest list you for) you won’t see me doing what I was put on this planet to do. If you’re not into seeing me do that I’m not going to want to keep dating you.
I am mostly looking to date folks 33 and older and 56 and younger. But I’m open to persuasion if you’re confident enough to give it a shot. You should be available to date me–either single or in an open relationship. If you date one of my enemies I won’t date you.
I believe sex is a team endeavor for mutual pleasure. I like to have a huddle ahead of time, decide what we are up for and how long our time boundary is and make sure there’s rest/savasana afterwards as part of that time boundary.
I’m fond of saying “what even is time” because it is made up. But the use of time is “where you and I collide” and I like colliding for mutual pleasure with folks I’m attracted to.
If you have external genitalia, I want to be up front about not wanting to have procreative sex with anyone I wouldn’t choose to procreate with. I have a uterus and the government makes my health care entirely my responsibility. In a post Roe v. Wade America (I still *cannot believe* the fascists pulled that off) I do not wish to endeavor a pregnancy by accident. I know enough pregnancies in spite of condoms or vasectomies. If that’s a sex act you can’t live without until a lot of intention, you should not seek to date me.
If you’re a TERF or a Trump supporter I do not wish to date you.
I work to love everyone unconditionally, regardless of being “in love” (though my teacher Leah Garza says to fall in love with the world around you and I definitely do). I hope you’re down to receive love, attention and care. I love to lavish.
My love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation. My goal is going to be to learn your recipe–your boundaries, your delights, your love language–and serve that to you.
Okay I don’t know much more about what to say here. For more information about dating me check out the Distinction between Dating and Courtship and The Relationship Great Glass Elevator and my dating Instagram BevinsTea.
Also, as a Scorpio Moon and Venus I definitely express myself through playlists and music. (I miss the mix tapes days of dating.) Take Your Boots off and Humble Me with a Fierce Heart is the vibe of what I’m looking for!
I’m a Capricorn sun & Mars, Virgo Rising/Saturn/North Node. Releasing self criticism is my biggest triumph from all of those heavy Earth placements.
To reach out to me DM me on the BevinsTea IG or send an email to fatkiddanceparty at gmail dot com (please be a gentleman because as soon as I get the means I’m hiring a virtual assistant who will get the reigns to my email).
If you want to spend one on one time with me but don’t want to date me, consider booking a one on on session! I also consider presents from my Amazon wish list acts of service.
Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bevin (safe and secure way to buy me a snack!)
Venmo: @bevinb
Cash App: $BevinBoss
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Tee shirts: https://genuinevalentine.com/collections/fat-kid-dance-party
Fatkiddanceparty.com/classes
Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty
Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
You Tube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/c/SelfCareParty
Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into that “astronaut’s” profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9
Threads, Tik Tok, Twitter: @bevinsparty
Facebook.com/bevinsparty
Like/subscribe/review/send a link to a friend! It all helps!