It’s cuffing season! That sacred time of year that people seek to keep warm with someone they want to stay safer at home with! I recognize that probably less than 10% of the people reading this even want to go on a date with me and others might just read it cuz they are curious! I hope you are inspired to ask for what you want and to name your desires openly.

Hi! I’m Bevin! I’m leveraging my blog, my social media reach, my friend’s networks (please send this to someone you think is a good fit) and whatever other resources pass through this special spot on the world wide web to help me have a few good dates this winter!

SOGIE isĀ an acronym for sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. Everyone has a sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression.

My sexual identity is queer and gender identity and expression is Femme. I am typically oriented towards masculinity with a little sugar in the pot but occasionally swoon for other Femmes. I’ve dated folks across the pronoun and gender spectrum and I do not care what is in your pants.

I live on the Olympic Peninsula and I have lots of experience with long distance lovers. I love a good text banter but don’t expect or want to be texting anyone every day unless we were explicit about that mutual desire.

I can probably vibe if I want to date you from a Zoom call.

I love the comfort and safety of my living room and I love Zoom and Facetime as options for synchronous intimacy with folks all over the world. I’m honest and kind and if I don’t feel it as more than friends I will tell you when I know. I need to develop emotional safety in order to feel desire for someone, so it might take me a bit to know if that vibe is there.

I like to date for present moment experience, not necessarily for long term compatibility. I like to go on dates with my friends, but I am not the kind of person who has sex with friends. I have Venus in Scorpio I really need chemistry.

This could be you on a date with me!

The things I’m interested in doing in person this Winter include jigsaw puzzles, bundling up for slow walks in the forest, nature adventures, cooking for you, listening to records, talking through movies at home.

I’m very Covid cautious and still mask in public. I will ask that you test before we meet up and if you need tests I will give you one when I see you. I also trust that you are taking personal responsibility for your immune system during this time. If you get symptoms before we meet up, stay home! I will reschedule with you!

I’m looking for companions who embody and seek to further embody (we are all works in progress, I work on all of these, too):

Cleverness of a Crow

Confidence of an Eagle

Heart of a Lion

Ambition of a Bee

Freedom of a Horse

Bees see themselves as members of a colony not individuals. Unambitious people are a real turn-off to me. I want someone whose ambitions involve everyone. I believe we didn’t come here to fix a broken world we came to create the world of our dreams.

I don’t care if you’re a BIG DREAMER like me but you should absolutely love that I’m a big dreamer.

You should also be visibly delighted by me. If you’re weird or shamey of me shining my light that’s a hard boundary for me. I LOVE gratitude and practice it lavishly. A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.

Complaining and whining are turn offs for me. I keep my complaining between me and my therapist and coaches. I’m open to some venting now and again in a container approved for venting. “Hey, can I vent? Can I seek your advice on something hard for me?” That’s all good. But please don’t complain about your job or the same situation all the time and take no action to fix it or set boundaries.

If you hate being outside we are not a match. I love being outside and try to spend 2 hours moving outside every day.

In our interactions I’m going to be assessing for emotional safety, intellectual chemistry and mirth. Make me laugh! I love dad jokes! I love to laugh and when I had experienced 40 revolutions around the sun I declared I am going to spend time with people who made me laugh from here on out. I will also assess how Biscuit Reynolds, my Feline Overlord likes you.

I love to use cannabis and psilocybin for healing and fun. I DO NOT do these medicines within the first few times of meeting a date. I like to date sober since I stopped drinking alcohol 11 years ago. I do not mind if you use cannabis with me when we hang the first couple times before I feel comfortable. This decision is how I can connect best.

I like folks who have a sense of style but that’s not a dealbreaker.

If we are going on more than a few dates and you don’t come to the aerobics class I teach (which I will guest list you for) you won’t see me doing what I was put on this planet to do. If you’re not into seeing me do that I’m not going to want to keep dating you.

I am mostly looking to date folks 33 and older and 56 and younger. But I’m open to persuasion if you’re confident enough to give it a shot. You should be available to date me–either single or in an open relationship. If you date one of my enemies I won’t date you.

I believe sex is a team endeavor for mutual pleasure. I like to have a huddle ahead of time, decide what we are up for and how long our time boundary is and make sure there’s rest/savasana afterwards as part of that time boundary.

I’m fond of saying “what even is time” because it is made up. But the use of time is “where you and I collide” and I like colliding for mutual pleasure with folks I’m attracted to.

If you have external genitalia, I want to be up front about not wanting to have procreative sex with anyone I wouldn’t choose to procreate with. I have a uterus and the government makes my health care entirely my responsibility. In a post Roe v. Wade America (I still *cannot believe* the fascists pulled that off) I do not wish to endeavor a pregnancy by accident. I know enough pregnancies in spite of condoms or vasectomies. If that’s a sex act you can’t live without until a lot of intention, you should not seek to date me.

If you’re a TERF or a Trump supporter I do not wish to date you.

I work to love everyone unconditionally, regardless of being “in love” (though my teacher Leah Garza says to fall in love with the world around you and I definitely do). I hope you’re down to receive love, attention and care. I love to lavish.

My love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation. My goal is going to be to learn your recipe–your boundaries, your delights, your love language–and serve that to you.

Okay I don’t know much more about what to say here. For more information about dating me check out the Distinction between Dating and Courtship and The Relationship Great Glass Elevator and my dating Instagram BevinsTea.

Also, as a Scorpio Moon and Venus I definitely express myself through playlists and music. (I miss the mix tapes days of dating.) Take Your Boots off and Humble Me with a Fierce Heart is the vibe of what I’m looking for!

I’m a Capricorn sun & Mars, Virgo Rising/Saturn/North Node. Releasing self criticism is my biggest triumph from all of those heavy Earth placements.

To reach out to me DM me on the BevinsTea IG or send an email to fatkiddanceparty at gmail dot com (please be a gentleman because as soon as I get the means I’m hiring a virtual assistant who will get the reigns to my email).

If you want to spend one on one time with me but don’t want to date me, consider booking a one on on session! I also consider presents from my Amazon wish list acts of service. (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!) (safe and secure way to buy me a snack!)
Venmo: @bevinb
Cash App: $BevinBoss
Amazon Wishlist:
Tee shirts:
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Podcast: (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple/Google Podcasts)
You Tube Channel:
Email list:
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into that “astronaut’s” profits just a lil bit.
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