Archives

Get Me Embodied: Bevin’s Story of Disembodiment

When I was first involved with fat activism and radical queer body positive communities I heard the term “disembodied” thrown around a lot without really understanding what it meant. I understood unlearning body shame, body self-hatred, body disempowerment but I didn’t understand the distinction from disembodiment.

I started asking around and my working definition of disembodied is not being present in your body–checked out.

Balance, Priorities, New Lesbian Tea Basket, Everyday Glitter

In the last couple of years as I’ve learned what is really important to me and learned to let go of what isn’t, how to say no to things and how to check in with myself about what I am doing and how I am doing it. Moreover, I’ve learned how to identify for myself what is important to me, how to turn off all the voices of what I “should” be doing or who I “should” become, what my body “should” look like or how much I “should” love myself even when it’s hard. I got tired of shoulding and wanted to instead be living and enjoying my life. Thus, I have created a practice whereby I check in with myself about my priorities. I try to do this every week, but basically it comes up for me when I feel off balance.

Everyday Glitter: Validation Day Edition

Hi Pals! It is Validation Day and I tend to write blog posts every year addressing this fact. So let’s just keep the tradition alive.

I occasionally feel salty about the burst of couple privilege but honestly, whatever. Sometimes you got somebody, sometimes you have yourself and that’s still pretty incredible.

Guest Post: How I Learned to Eat Greens by Blyth

The experience of learning how to make the bok choy from one of my close friends reminded me of an amazing piece I had read just that very day. I related to it from a very deep level–raised by a single mom just barely above poverty level and often relying on fast and instant foods for lack of time, and growing up in a fat body. It is so honest, so beautiful and I am so grateful to Blyth for allowing me to share it with you below. I think food justice and healing our relationships with food starts when we are very honest about our her/his/theirstories and come together to discuss them. And when we share our resources and knowledge base to enjoy new and different ways of eating.

New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket–Hostess Gifts

There is a new episode of my web series The Lesbian Tea Basket, where I rate and review tea and reclaim tea parties for lesbians. I was heading on my Gay American Road Trip and needed a hostess gift that wasn’t too expensive and spoke to my personality. It’s great! Even if the host(ess) doesn’t drink tea, chances are if they are hosting one lesbian there will be another and we are a tea drinking people.

Lesbian Jack Kerouac Gay American Road Trip Part 5: Wyoming, Salt Lake City and Freedom

Once on the highway I was still feeling the buzz of the love from Cam’s house and how nurtured I was feeling. I was enchanted by the expansive rolling beige hills of Colorado and just as I was about to enter Wyoming saw a big buffalo cut out sign. Thinking “It would be really cool if that was actually a buffalo ranch” BAM, there were buffalo. Roaming.

GAY SEX WEEK: The Queer Date-Not-a-Date

The Queer Date-Not-A-Date can be any kind of ambiguous activity a deux planned by you or the other party. Maybe they ask you to hang out and you’re not sure if the intention is a date. Maybe you plan intentional time one-on-one without stating a date intention. When the hang out is over there will be more clarity.

I Made A Playlist For You So You Can Get Make Outs

This playlist celebrates R&B from the 90s, that golden era of grind* when I first learned how to make-out. I feel that this is the perfect kind of music to get your party going. It’s dancey but doesn’t require dancing. It’s good chat while maintaining a rhythmic bounce sort of music and it’s also the tipping point for any conversation that could go to the make-out place to actually go to the make-out place. Before each Rebel Cupcake I have the DJ play a mix of 90s R&B and riot grrrl favorites and I have seen many pre-11PM dance party make-outs/bumps & grinds. Dim the lights and experiment with this playlist. You’ll be hosting a make out party in no time.

Christmas is Coming Look Busy

In the last few days I have felt my life perk up noticeably and I think it was because I let myself settle into the joy of the season. On my own terms and not because a TV show or commercial told me to.