I’m Looking for a Few Good Dates this Winter!
It’s cuffing season! That sacred time of year that people seek to keep warm with someone they want to stay safer at home with! I recognize that probably less than 10% of the people reading this even want to go on a date with me and others might just read it cuz they are curious! I hope you are inspired to ask for what you want and to name your desires openly.
The Relationship Great Glass Elevator
I was a Roald Dahl girlie growing up so understanding archetypes based in those narratives makes sense to me. I came up with this idea about the Relationship Great Glass Elevator that helps me understand how I want to love and be loved for however long I get on this floating rock in space this lifetime.
The Date I Learned I was a Specialty Food
May the thoughts of you as a specialty food, brought here on earth just for the people you’re here for. Find the people who delight you, who you admire, who feel safe to be around. Spend more time with those people! Learn from them and become more and more YOU.
FAT SEX WEEK XXL Table of Contents
I knew going into Fat Sex Week XXL it would be longer than a regular week. I’ve learned as part of my body liberation that even though the world is not built for someone who is a size 22/24 that I still deserve to take up as much space as I need.* And the same is true for my art projects that are called a “week” but really more like “two and a half weeks.” FAT SEX WEEK XXL sounds way better than FAT SEX TWO AND A HALF WEEKS OR SO XXL. Thanks for indulging my artistic liberties.
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: 6 Tips for Reclaiming FUPA, The Fat Upper Pubic Area
Katy, like many of us, had to work really hard to reclaim loving her body, a journey she’s still on. She had to specifically focus on her FUPA to make it a source of pride and not insecurity.
“I had all these milestones with my body. I went sleeveless for the first time, that was a big deal. I took photos of my back fat naked. I finally wore sandals for the first time because I was previously so insecure about my big feet, I didn’t want to expose them…”
The FUPA was difficult. If you google the term, you’ll see it is usually used derogatorily. It’s not gender specific, all types of bodies can have a FUPA.
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Interview with Cinnamon Maxxine
I saw Cinnamon Maxxine perform last summer at the Desiree Alliance conference and they were magnificent. Seriously, one of the best strip performances I had ever seen and I’ve produced a lot of shows. There’s a magic and charisma a person has on stage when they are really enjoying it and know how to engage their audiences. I wanted to interview Cinnamon for Fat Sex Week to find out more about their stripping performance, and self care.
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: A Queer Couple Reflects on Their Nude Adipositivity Photo Shoot
Substantia made us feel awesome. We read over her information she provided before the shoot and we kind of just paced around until she got there. Once she was there, it was really easy to get naked. I felt awesome after the shoot, never really knowing how I got to this place in my life where I was naked and proud. After the photos were released it was just so neat to see us through Substantia’s eyes. How she posed us, how we looked at each other and how my body looked.
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Curvy Rope Bottoming
Bri Burning offers this: “The biggest challenge I’ve faced being a rope bottom is the doubt of tops—whether that be doubt in my body and what it can do, or insecurities in their own skills.” That last part brings up another part of the challenge: incorrect assumptions about the limitations and capabilities of larger bodies. “I’m a very curvy woman who is extremely flexible,” Bri continues. “[But] most people assume that I can’t stay in stress positions for long or can’t bend a certain way.”
Click here to read the whole excerpt from Evie Vane’s forthcoming book!
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Fat FTMs Review the New Buck Off Sex Toy
My pal Buck Angel created a sex toy specifically for trans men! I thought Fat Sex Week XXL was a great opportunity to find out from my Fat FTM friends if the stroker works for all bodies.
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Six People Tell You Why Curvy Girl Sex Is Awesome
Let’s first talk about why this is important–fat people are taught that we’re not fuckable. All oppressed people are taught to not take up space and that we should be as invisible as possible. When we try so hard to not take up space it’s actually very physically and psychologically disempowering.* In a society that doesn’t see fat bodies as valuable and the porn that celebrates diverse body size is considered fetish, most fat folks have to go through a ton of self work to empower ourselves enough to thoroughly enjoy sex.
There’s a lot of scaffolding that goes in to feeling free and embodied enough for body oppressed people to have an orgasm, it’s wonderful when work that centers fat pleasure arrives on the scene to help!
Click here to read why Curvy Girl Sex could be your next coffee table book.
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Femme Sex Chat with Catiriana Reyes AKA Miss Sparklez
Sparklez says in our interview, “Trans women are worth more dead than alive. We have more bio power dead than alive.” Let’s change this and amplify the voices of Black Trans Women! It starts with listening to their perspective (like this interview!) and it moves to giving opportunities for work, housing and community organizing that respects and center their needs and experiences.
Click here to read the whole article and watch our fabulous interview!
FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Meet Fancy Feast Who Made Fat Sex Into a Career
If you are interested in hearing a smart woman talk about owning her body, performing erotic dance, selling sex toys, living a very realistic NYC performance artist life, subverting beauty standards, and finding a place to express yourself while being weird or exaggerated, you should watch this documentary.