I knew going into Fat Sex Week XXL it would be longer than a regular week. I’ve learned as part of my body liberation that even though the world is not built for someone who is a size 22/24 that I still deserve to take up as much space as I need.* And the same is true for my art projects that are called a “week” but really more like “two and a half weeks.” FAT SEX WEEK XXL sounds way better than FAT SEX TWO AND A HALF WEEKS OR SO XXL. Thanks for indulging my artistic liberties.
Photo of me wearing lingerie as part of my performance art dessert piece about Mariah Carey’s lingerie lifestyle as applied to social justice. It was at a Shabbat dinner I produced on Inauguration Day with workshops and speakers about activist resilience in the face of the new regime. Photo by Rachel Crowl.
I really wanted to include more about Fat Gay Butt Sex, so for the Table of Contents I’m interspersing short videos and pictures of my friend Shane Shane who is ultra talented, funny and sings beautiful dance songs about Gay Butt Sex. Most of these videos aren’t about Fat Gay Butt Sex but they made me laugh, and they are all safe for work.
Here’s what we covered during FAT SEX WEEK XXL:
I introduced y’all to Fancy Feast, an incredibly talented fat burlesque performer who has a documentary about her speaking to fat sexuality and life as a fat woman in the burlesque world.
I had Femme Sex Chat with Sparklez, a Black Trans Woman with a fabulous perspective on sex, sexuality, online dating and drops Foucault in conversation. She’s a total dreamboat.
We discussed the new book Curvy Girl Sex with six people who talk about why it is so awesome to have 101 positions specifically designed to make sex more accessible to fat folks (and all kinds of other folks).
Shane Shane performing at my Mariah Carey Rebel Cupcake in NYC April 2013. Photo by Kelsey Dickey for Rebel Cupcake.
So that’s Fat Sex Week XXL! If you find anything new in the world of Fat Sex you think I should cover in a future post, leave me a comment here or shoot me an email at queerfatfemme at gmail dot com!
Shane Shane gets sexy with ergonomics:
*You, too! You deserve all the space you need. The world is not built for the actual human diversity that exists, and this is true for size and all of the other ways in which people are different. Reclaiming space is hard but super worthwhile practice to help your body remember that it is just fine as it is.
This summer I had the good fortune to meet Christine Dunn-Cunningham, better known as the Lesbian Love Guru. I was a little bit skeptical (that name is some big britches to fill!) so I settled in, Queer Oprah style, to ask her what she knew about lesbian relationships. I was really impressed with her advice! She had a lot of right-on perspective about how important it is to put work into your relationships.
She’s launching a new program called “Relationship Magic: How to Re-Ignite, Re-Invent, & Re-Define your relationship to create deeper connection, love, and passion!” Christine asked me to share the program with my readers. She’s going to be giving away 3 videos filled with things you can use to create fulfilling relationships no matter what relationship stage you’re in.
The Queer Date-Not-A-Date can be any kind of ambiguous activity a deux planned by you or the other party. Maybe they ask you to hang out and you're not sure if the intention is a date. Maybe you plan intentional time one-on-one without stating a date intention. When the hang out is over there will be more clarity.
Hi friends! Life has been steady rolling lately. I am trying to lean into the big changes in my life as best as I can. Working with a lot of fear and scarcity stuff but being gentle, really really gentle with myself. Self-care is my dreamy boyfriend right now. My steady, number one priority. This is a moment by moment choice and requires an awful lot of checking in with myself, honesty and sweetness.
The great part of doing all this self-care is that I am able to really enjoy life. I've been up to fun things!