This playlist celebrates R&B from the 90s, that golden era of grind* when I first learned how to make-out. I feel that this is the perfect kind of music to get your party going. It's dancey but doesn't require dancing. It's good chat while maintaining a rhythmic bounce sort of music and it's also the tipping point for any conversation that could go to the make-out place to actually go to the make-out place. Before each Rebel Cupcake I have the DJ play a mix of 90s R&B and riot grrrl favorites and I have seen many pre-11PM dance party make-outs/bumps & grinds. Dim the lights and experiment with this playlist. You'll be hosting a make out party in no time.
I knew going into Fat Sex Week XXL it would be longer than a regular week. I’ve learned as part of my body liberation that even though the world is not built for someone who is a size 22/24 that I still deserve to take up as much space as I need.* And the same is true for my art projects that are called a “week” but really more like “two and a half weeks.” FAT SEX WEEK XXL sounds way better than FAT SEX TWO AND A HALF WEEKS OR SO XXL. Thanks for indulging my artistic liberties.
Photo of me wearing lingerie as part of my performance art dessert piece about Mariah Carey’s lingerie lifestyle as applied to social justice. It was at a Shabbat dinner I produced on Inauguration Day with workshops and speakers about activist resilience in the face of the new regime. Photo by Rachel Crowl.
I really wanted to include more about Fat Gay Butt Sex, so for the Table of Contents I’m interspersing short videos and pictures of my friend Shane Shane who is ultra talented, funny and sings beautiful dance songs about Gay Butt Sex. Most of these videos aren’t about Fat Gay Butt Sex but they made me laugh, and they are all safe for work.
Here’s what we covered during FAT SEX WEEK XXL:
I introduced y’all to Fancy Feast, an incredibly talented fat burlesque performer who has a documentary about her speaking to fat sexuality and life as a fat woman in the burlesque world.
I had Femme Sex Chat with Sparklez, a Black Trans Woman with a fabulous perspective on sex, sexuality, online dating and drops Foucault in conversation. She’s a total dreamboat.
We discussed the new book Curvy Girl Sex with six people who talk about why it is so awesome to have 101 positions specifically designed to make sex more accessible to fat folks (and all kinds of other folks).
Shane Shane performing at my Mariah Carey Rebel Cupcake in NYC April 2013. Photo by Kelsey Dickey for Rebel Cupcake.
An excerpt from the forthcoming Rope Bottoming Book for Curvy Rope Bottoms.
I interviewed a fat, femme, queer, non-binary stripper, Cinnamon Maxxine about self care, stripping and asking for help.
My friend Katy and I came up with six ways to reclaim your Fat Upper Pubic Area (FUPA), because everyone deserves to love their whole body!
Photo by Kelsey Dickey.
So that’s Fat Sex Week XXL! If you find anything new in the world of Fat Sex you think I should cover in a future post, leave me a comment here or shoot me an email at queerfatfemme at gmail dot com!
Shane Shane gets sexy with ergonomics:
*You, too! You deserve all the space you need. The world is not built for the actual human diversity that exists, and this is true for size and all of the other ways in which people are different. Reclaiming space is hard but super worthwhile practice to help your body remember that it is just fine as it is.
Do you think you might be gay? Watch this: