Our arrival day to the Alchemy Burn was Thursday this year instead of Wednesday. Last year we rolled in around 4PM and our RV had already arrived and all we had to do was unpack and mourn the fact that our RV vendor had neglected to fill the rig with water. Some gentle problem solving in cool turning cold weather late in the day without a lot of distractions because most folks arrive Thursday or Friday.
This year, we arrived on Thursday which meant getting up early and packing the car. I was stressed about whether or not all of our stuff and things were going to fit in Rachael’s SUV, even with the addition of a roof bag this year. We did it (I was so proud) and were on our way. I want to point out here that stress also wears out the body pretty fast and I was more stressed about packing our stuff than I was conscious of.
We were waylaid first by Bojangles for breakfast sandwiches. Here’s an aside about Bojangles–this Southern fast food restaurant is a revelation. Their biscuits are PERFECT and fluffy and they serve real bacon and the iced tea is incredible.
I adore iced tea and when I visit the South I like to enjoy one sweet tea and this time I cashed it in on a giant half unsweet and sweet iced tea and it was incredible. (I prefer unsweet tea but enjoy sweet tea as a treat.) I think it’s the quality of the tea leaves and how Bojangles steeps it–it’s strong.
Rachael loves their dessert Boberry biscuits and she’s practically perfect in every way and usually correct about everything and she was very correct to order us two to bring with us to the Burn. (A Taurus with a Capricorn Rising–she knows things.)
We were waylaid a second time after we ate our breakfast since Rach forgot to leave the key for the dog sitter. We doubled back–luckily we hadn’t yet arrived at the Burn and gone through the gate which would have been way harder to double back. Saved by the Bojangles detour of delight!
A 36 minute trip in a weighed down SUV became a 2 hour trip, but our RV still wasn’t being delivered til 3 so we had plenty of time to arrive and unload the car.
Outdoor events are so affected by weather, obviously, which I appreciate in an ancestral connection kind of way.
We are not that many generations away from having our entire lives be massively affected by weather. I love getting to be someplace outdoors with my clothes nearby and able to change as the weather shifts. It’s an intimacy with Land we don’t typically get with our climate controlled, insulated interiors.
We unloaded the car swiftly and with a Helping Hand to pull our heavy ass generator out of the car. “Another one of these” he muttered as we pulled it out. At a Burn you need to bring everything except a toilet, a generator is a luxury but it’s how the whole place is filled with sound and lights. The gentle hummmmm of the generators whizzing is almost white noise by the end.
We put up the pop-up tent right away (another Rachael Great Idea TM) and had some shade and a break to rest and hydrate. I was feeling hot but unwilling to open my suitcase to find something cooler to wear because I wanted to wait for the RV. That was an error.
I did, however, realize after I got back from dropping the car in parking that I was getting nauseous from the heat and asked our camp mates if I could have one of their rapidly melting pedialyte popsicles. They gave me two and I put one on the back of my neck while I drank the other one.
Getting heat sick is something I inherited from my maternal line. I remember when I was little my mom would get crabby and mean when it was hot. I learned a cold washcloth on her neck went a long way but I had no idea how she was feeling til I hit my thirties and realized what was happening to her through my own experience.
The more sensitive I become spiritually my body becomes more sensitive. I understand this now as a super power.
A lot of people were accused of witchcraft because of their herbal remedies, perceptual sensitivities and “knowing” things. What we think of now as neurodivergence is likely the natural diversity of human understanding.
Coloniality strips us of so much ancestral wisdom, including what our lineage did with our gifts and sensitivities. Imagine being raised to understand, curate, shepherd and protect our sensitivities and the ways we perceive the world. Instead our society holds our belonging (an actual human need) hostage to our conformity.
One of the things I value most about a Burn is it’s a whole bunch of neurodivergent folks delighting in their differences and sharing them in curated ways. Freak flags are flying and it’s gorgeous.
I wanted to go and do and see all the things popping up around the Burn but I knew my body was requiring me to rest. The RV arrived and because of the generator we could run the A/C for awhile and I got unpacked, dressed in something far lighter than my cute black arrival outfit, and Rachael Great Idea TM delivered me a Viva paper towel doused in some ice that had fallen out of the cooler.
Our camp (Bunny Reasons) has a common sitting area and collectively has five pop-up shelters with cute purple roofs. I love collective interdependence it makes things so easy and social. After my rest I went and sat in my “office” (a friend called my camp chair with attached table and it’s very apt, when I settle in someplace I am on my business) and caught up with everyone.
Getting heat sick isn’t like just cooling down and gathering energy again. I’m pretty much done for the day once my body overheats. It’s not something I can power through. Sometimes I get a dehydration hangover that makes me nauseous the next day. I can’t imagine how I would feel or how sick I would get if I hadn’t stopped drinking alcohol 12 years ago.
I used to live dissociated and overriding my body in all manner of ways until I would get so sick my doctor would tell me that resting meant being in bed and not using my brain for a week at a time.
I was so grateful for our kick it space so I could be social and feel like a participant because it can be such a bummer to feel sidelined by my body’s requirement for rest. I even got to help someone fulfill a need! I had just met Al and he said to the group “I have a 5-10 minute task I need help with” and I thought I would have to say no due to capacity. The task was doing a manicure on him! I was absolutely available for a manicure! It was a joyous bonding activity and the launch of our wonderful friendship!
My scarcity mindset tries to kick up in times like this when I’m torn between Going and Doing vs Sitting and Being. The FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) monster thinks there’s some magic happening I can’t be part of. Instead of focusing on where I’m at and creating JOWID (Joy Of Whatever I’m Doing). The magic was right where I was at!
Lying in bed that night, having told myself I was just going to have a Disco Nap at 8:45PM after walking the equivalent of eight blocks wiped me out, I kept pep talking myself about how surrendering to my body is the only way and my body is closer to my intuition than my conscious mind. My intuition is always correct and I kept thinking about this person I took Akashic Mentorship Level One with.
At the time they were recently disabled and reflecting that all the rest they need got them closer to their intuition and able to access the Akashic realms with more ease. That perhaps part of their body’s disability was opening up deeper abilities in other ways. That hit me profoundly.
My basic pep talk for when my brain wants to do what my body is not available for is “What is for me will not pass me by.”
How serendipitous that our arrival to the Burn was waylaid so I wasn’t out in the heat any longer than what made me so sick in the first place! It was actually a very fun road trip, Rach and I can make anything fun.
The next morning I got nauseous while prepping for the day I realized I should just stay put at camp again til my body settled down. I just released all control and all effs about how I spent my time and was satisfied to sit in our kick it space. (I was so nauseous I turned down BACON offered to me by Alex who is a Camp Daddy Breakfast Master).
It all worked out so delightfully because Psychic (that’s her Burn name; I still don’t have one) brought a craft bin with coloring books and all manner of fun crafty things to delight someone sitting down. I spent several hours coloring and chatting with the folks who had to come back to camp because their psilocybin was working too well for them to be walking around. It was incredibly bonding and fostered an intimacy level that we wouldn’t have achieved without our bodies telling us it’s time to sit down and take it easy.
I didn’t have the time I thought I wanted to have I had an even better time enjoying the experience I was meant to have and that was such a joy. My body finally chilled out that evening and I had probably one of the best nights from 2025 dancing to queer music by DJ Al and watching a wooden sculpture of Marsha P. Johnson throwing a brick go up in flames after honoring the recent death of fellow Stonewall Rebellion hero Miss Major Griffin-Gracy.
I could never have been as present or joyous that evening without surrendering to my body and letting her recover.
More reflections on this Burn to come, but perhaps you want to listen to my podcast episode 187 about my experience at my first Burn event.
To receive an email whenever I publish a podcast or a blog post, subscribe to my Substack!
My blogs, podcasts and other resources in the world are entirely funded by readers like you! Consider supporting independent queer art!
Patreon.com/fkdp (you can follow for free and get updates and freebies from me!)
Venmo: @bevinb
Buy my aerobics video! fatkiddanceparty.com/video4pack
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1SJCL864DDKEH?ref_=wl_share
Instagram: @fatkiddanceparty @bevinsparty
Work one on one with me: https://queerfatfemme.com/one-on-one-with-bevin/
Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin (Search “Bevin” on Spotify or Apple Podcasts)
Substack: bevinsparty.substack.com
Email list: http://eepurl.com/dyX3db
Buy anything on Amazon using this link to go to their website and I make a 3% commission on anything you buy! Costs nothing extra to you and cuts into Jeffrey’s profits just a lil bit. https://amzn.to/2PQ52A9
Threads, Tik Tok, bsky.app/, Twitter: @bevinsparty
Like/subscribe/review/send a link to a friend! It all helps!