Multiple friends have started making fun of me because I don’t seem to date at all within New York City. 8 million people in the city I live in and yet I seem to jet out of town after ass all the time. Or go on dates with people who are in NYC from out of town, which happens a fair amount. (At least I haven’t gone international in a little while.)

As much as I laud the benefits of intimacies long distance–I love to travel, laycations are decadent adventures and can be cheap, not as much chance of ex/friend overlap makes it cleaner–the truth is I really haven’t given dating in New York the same kind of dedication and ardor I do my other pursuits. I am always so skittish about friend overlap and just busy with my three careers and friends that finding time to go on blind dates with people seems daunting.

In the interest of truly dedicating myself to the pursuit of a casual local sweetheart or two to give me an occasional distraction without requiring a plane trip and a dog sitter,* I have decided to create a blog series out of going on cruising escapades. I am also really interested in broadening my horizons–I think that is the best way to see what the New York queer scene has to offer. Plus, constantly stepping outside of your comfort zone is one of The Success Principles and I have recently begun following the advice of the tall tan man.**

My first step out into Bevin’s Untapped Cruising Territory was the Go Magazine Nightlife Awards.

The event: Sarah Jenny was nominated for an award (Best Emcee for Hey Queen!) and invited me as her date to the Go Magazine Nightlife Awards. Free ticket, VIP section and open vodka bar sealed the deal.

Why this is untapped territory for me: I may love to go out dancing and experience nightlife, I very rarely go to huge Manhattan clubs with expensive drinks and wall to wall L Word style folks. Plus, these events don’t happen very often and they’re pricey. I am a broke small business owner and artist!

The Outfit:
Michael Kors dress (via Re/Dress), Sock Dreams fleur de lis fishnets, Isaac Mizrahi for Target heels, purse from my blonde bombshells collection. I was going for a fancy Femme look that could easily be mistaken for an “out professional” in case I wanted to try to meet a corporate homo.

The Wing Femme:
Sarah Jenny. Va va va voom.

The Scene: Wall to wall was right.
There were tons of folks in attendance at the two floor nightclub that sometimes Puff Daddy attends. It was very glamorous. There were lots of celesbians–including that fire fighter from Tila Tequila who is still using her 15 minutes of fame. I appreciate her tenacity. Michelle Rodriguez from LOST was djing. There were a lot of cute girls on the floor, including at least a couple of fat blonde butches***. The crowd was actually quite diverse, since the nightlife awards cleverly culls from virtually all of the queer girl scenes in the NYC metro area. I couldn’t get a good aerial shot of the crowd on my tiny digital camera, but Grace the Spot did.

The staff working for Go Magazine was actually quite foxy.

The Verdict:
Unfortunately, it really felt like an “everyone bring your girlfriend” sort of night.


It was hard to isolate a girl to talk to, and, honestly, how do people pick anyone up in a loud ass club like that? (Seriously, tell me in the comments, I’m new at the club pick up. I’ll skilshare and tell you how to pick someone up on Facebook.) I DID try, Sarah Jenny witnessed me chatting up people I both knew and didn’t know on the VIP lounge staircase and by the bar.

I ended up on the smoking sidewalk networking with people, including these cute club managers/owners from Staten Island’s new gay bar Q-SINY. It might be the site of an inter borough road trip.


Tired of the crowd and $13 shots (the open bar was a 40 minute wait), my friend Mackenzi and I ended up bidding Sarah Jenny adieu and crossing town to Snapshot, the Tuesday night girl party in Manhattan. I saw a lot of doppelbangers and the ever elusive and distractingly attractive Lady Fag, but lost her before I could introduce myself.

I will say this postscript of the event–I ran into someone I know professionally from my old job. Right at the beginning of my Saturn Return, before my fiance left me, I went to one of her staff meetings to do a presentation and she showed her staff The Secret. That changed my life and laid the foundation by which I would see all of the challenges the universe spread out for me over the last two years and change. She’s always been a huge inspiration to me in terms of thinking positively and womanifesting your own destiny. Catching up with her was the perfect sort of guidepost to remind me that however rocky my path may be at times, I’m doing the right thing. So, ultimately, the event was a win for me in terms of heartwarming.

Other spots to come on my untapped cruising territory list: lesbian softball game, the Park Slope Food Co-op, and A Brooklyn Meat-Up.

*Don’t worry, I’m still going to be open to long distance and maple chasing.
**I am a proud multi-tasker, I’ll point out the pursuit of new cute queers in town is fodder for my art, self-development and getting laid. Also since no one wrote a book “how to get a talk show” I have had to develop a plan using the success principles.
***One of my favorite types.

7 Responses

  1. i get very sad at “everybody bring their girlfriend” nights. two options seem to occur: a. if i try to chat someone up, they’ll mention the g word within a minute or b. they WON’T and within two and twenty minutes (or even after some kissing) the gf in question will show up in a rage, resulting in tears and fighting among the happy couple. it seems that around here at least, polyamory of any kind is a dirty word…as is being single and enjoying casual “encounters”. it is assumed at these kind of nights (at least in my neck of the woods) that being single means that there is something wrong with you, or you’re a “player” and therefore shunned.

  2. If that picture is me looking foxy, I dare you to catch me (and the rest of the GO staff) on a night where showers and toothbrushes were available beforehand. Either way, I was hoping that picture would end up somewhere on the internet.

  3. Love this post! And I agree, definitely check out the Coop … as you probably know ya gotta be a member and work (unless you get a pal to bring you in) but it’s worth it for the tasty, organic food on the cheap. I got a great gig taking member IDs at the door, which gives me a front row seat to all the hotties that walk through!

  4. Dang, hot pictures! Any idea where Sarah Jenny’s dress is from? I am dying!

  5. Hey, you met my gay dads!

    Sadly,Q doesn’t have a lot to offer lesbians, so you won’t miss much by skipping it. However, hopping on the ferry and exploring St. George makes for a fun Saturday afternoon–it has a botanical garden, shops owned by an intentional community, and the only LGBTQ-dedicated bookstore left in NYC.

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