The format of the workshop was simple, but ultimately very, very powerful. We all took off our clothes at the beginning and then stood up in a circle looking at one another. We took turns being the center of attention but stayed in the circle formation. The person whose turn it was would tell the group their name, and what they love about their body and what they struggled with. Then the group would go around and each person in turn would give a specific compliment to the person about their body. Then we would move on to the next person.
Multiple friends have started making fun of me because I don’t seem to date at all within New York City. 8 million people in the city I live in and yet I seem to jet out of town after ass all the time. Or go on dates with people who are in NYC from out of town, which happens a fair amount. (At least I haven’t gone international in a little while.)
As much as I laud the benefits of intimacies long distance–I love to travel, laycations are decadent adventures and can be cheap, not as much chance of ex/friend overlap makes it cleaner–the truth is I really haven’t given dating in New York the same kind of dedication and ardor I do my other pursuits. I am always so skittish about friend overlap and just busy with my three careers and friends that finding time to go on blind dates with people seems daunting.
In the interest of truly dedicating myself to the pursuit of a casual local sweetheart or two to give me an occasional distraction without requiring a plane trip and a dog sitter,* I have decided to create a blog series out of going on cruising escapades. I am also really interested in broadening my horizons–I think that is the best way to see what the New York queer scene has to offer. Plus, constantly stepping outside of your comfort zone is one of The Success Principles and I have recently begun following the advice of the tall tan man.**
My first step out into Bevin’s Untapped Cruising Territory was the Go Magazine Nightlife Awards.
The event: Sarah Jenny was nominated for an award (Best Emcee for Hey Queen!) and invited me as her date to the Go Magazine Nightlife Awards. Free ticket, VIP section and open vodka bar sealed the deal.
Why this is untapped territory for me: I may love to go out dancing and experience nightlife, I very rarely go to huge Manhattan clubs with expensive drinks and wall to wall L Word style folks. Plus, these events don’t happen very often and they’re pricey. I am a broke small business owner and artist!
Michael Kors dress (via Re/Dress), Sock Dreams fleur de lis fishnets, Isaac Mizrahi for Target heels, purse from my blonde bombshells collection. I was going for a fancy Femme look that could easily be mistaken for an “out professional” in case I wanted to try to meet a corporate homo.
The Scene: Wall to wall was right.
There were tons of folks in attendance at the two floor nightclub that sometimes Puff Daddy attends. It was very glamorous. There were lots of celesbians–including that fire fighter from Tila Tequila who is still using her 15 minutes of fame. I appreciate her tenacity. Michelle Rodriguez from LOST was djing. There were a lot of cute girls on the floor, including at least a couple of fat blonde butches***. The crowd was actually quite diverse, since the nightlife awards cleverly culls from virtually all of the queer girl scenes in the NYC metro area. I couldn’t get a good aerial shot of the crowd on my tiny digital camera, but Grace the Spot did.
It was hard to isolate a girl to talk to, and, honestly, how do people pick anyone up in a loud ass club like that? (Seriously, tell me in the comments, I’m new at the club pick up. I’ll skilshare and tell you how to pick someone up on Facebook.) I DID try, Sarah Jenny witnessed me chatting up people I both knew and didn’t know on the VIP lounge staircase and by the bar.
I ended up on the smoking sidewalk networking with people, including these cute club managers/owners from Staten Island’s new gay bar Q-SINY. It might be the site of an inter borough road trip.
Tired of the crowd and $13 shots (the open bar was a 40 minute wait), my friend Mackenzi and I ended up bidding Sarah Jenny adieu and crossing town to Snapshot, the Tuesday night girl party in Manhattan. I saw a lot of doppelbangers and the ever elusive and distractingly attractive Lady Fag, but lost her before I could introduce myself.
I will say this postscript of the event–I ran into someone I know professionally from my old job. Right at the beginning of my Saturn Return, before my fiance left me, I went to one of her staff meetings to do a presentation and she showed her staff The Secret. That changed my life and laid the foundation by which I would see all of the challenges the universe spread out for me over the last two years and change. She’s always been a huge inspiration to me in terms of thinking positively and womanifesting your own destiny. Catching up with her was the perfect sort of guidepost to remind me that however rocky my path may be at times, I’m doing the right thing. So, ultimately, the event was a win for me in terms of heartwarming.
Other spots to come on my untapped cruising territory list: lesbian softball game, the Park Slope Food Co-op, and A Brooklyn Meat-Up.
*Don’t worry, I’m still going to be open to long distance and maple chasing.
**I am a proud multi-tasker, I’ll point out the pursuit of new cute queers in town is fodder for my art, self-development and getting laid. Also since no one wrote a book “how to get a talk show” I have had to develop a plan using the success principles.
***One of my favorite types.