We came up with the idea of having a Femme Heartshare Brunch for Femme Family last summer, and finally had our first one in early January. It was electrifying, emotional and left me with a ton to think about. Our topic that time was Femme Competition/Femme Mutual Aid and was facilitated by me and Damien as Co-Head Madams with assistance from Sophie, Madam of Strategy.
The format we took was to have a pot luck brunch, a no latecomers policy, and opened it to Self-identified Femmes and Femme Questioning folks. I highly recommend doing this in your town! We got some new people who hadn’t been to a Femme Family event before and it was really a heartwarming and great way to meet people and learn about ourselves and our identities.
Last weekend I had the good fortune to return to Minneapolis for the first time in a few years. My Brooklynite friend Lissa lives there now for an internship (she’s going to be a queer femme pastor!) and plotted to gather some of the rad Twin Cities Femmes together for a brunch at her place.
I am working on an episode of FemmeCast about Femmes and Body Hair so I suggested a roundtable discussion.
What resulted was this amazing spread of food and some of the greatest conversation and heartsharing I’ve had in awhile.
Lissa, my hostess!
As Jna walked in she said “Don’t judge me for the size of this bottle.” From a size queen, the only judgment about this bottle can be a good judgment.
Femmes don’t fuck around about brunch!!
Femmes also don’t fuck around about shoes.
I had such a blast! After our discussion and food and copious coffee, I felt energized, enlightened, and had a deeper understanding of myself. Femme Heartshare brunches are my favorite way to do Femme community building.
Thanks Twin Cities Femme Mafia for your amazing hospitality, magic and warmth!!
At some point soon I’ll post links to the questions I used for Body Hair, and I know I have the outline for the Femme Competition/Femme Mutual Aid brunch in the bottom of an old purse but I can’t find it. I’ll share it on the Femme Family website when it surfaces!
I was offered press tickets to see a preview of Fun Home, the new Broadway musical based on Alison Bechdel's graphic memoir, Fun Home. Alison Bechdel is famous (to me and to every lesbian from the 90s, as the author of the famed comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For.
I thought the musical was great. It was super tender and distilled the important parts of the book for me. It was brilliantly staged in the round, with furniture moving up from the floor and around through holes in the stage. It struggled to flesh out the mother's character, who I thought had a bigger part in the book.
I have a long and spotty relationship to John Waters movies. Much like certain famous authors whose work I didn't follow in a proper order, the first John Waters movie I saw was Pecker and I hated it, didn't understand it and I thus wasn't interested in seeing any more, including Hairspray. I know, a fat girl with a bouffant who hasn't seen Hairspray, odd, right? And I used to watch Divine videos on you tube but had never seen Female Trouble.
Fast forward a few years and I've had some friends walk me through it and now I'm a huge fan. I suggest starting with something like Hairspray or Cry-Baby. Johnny Depp as a swoon-worthy greaser. See exhibit below.
When Glenn Marla told me he was thinking about doing performance art about how many times he's been asked to portray Divine I knew a John Waters Rebel Cupcake was just the thing.
Thinking about my desires and what I dreamed about when I was in high school... a lot of it was pretty simple stuff. I wanted love. I hated myself so much I couldn't even recognize how much I hated myself. I wanted so desperately to fit in and feel comfortable with my body. I wanted access to all of the cheesy girl stuff like the cheerleading squad, dance team and running for homecoming queen. (Being perky, loud and wearing matching outfits? That is still my thing.)
I didn't feel like I was allowed access to even try out for any of those things, since I believed what everyone told me about my size--that I wasn't beautiful and had to rely on my personality and smarts.
I also really loved beauty pageants. I have always had a thing for them. I like watching people perform, I like sparkly outfits, I like good hair and ritual.