I use a positive outlook as a coping mechanism in the face of prejudice and oppression. As a fat, queer, female, working class raised person, I am not supposed to love myself. But I do, and I have a much better life because of it. As a person who believes in the inherent worth and dignity of all people, I will not sit silently by and watch the world I live in crumble. I believe this world, this country, this city can do better. I know I have control over myself and my actions, so I am going to do better. I know that I can control my thoughts and going into a negative space grinds my work to a halt.
I looked at my cell phone and lamented to Taueret. “Why won’t [this person] go on a date with me?” She laughed.
“I forgot the part where you actually asked her out.”
“Yeah, but, well, what if she says no?” I wailed.
“Bevin, what were you saying about awkward?”
I laughed the deep kind of belly laugh you can only peel out when you’re being confronted with your own advice.
Me and Taueret in the Bloodhound Photography photo booth at my Queer Family Holiday Extravaganza.
She also reminded me that my two other active crushes right now are Lady GaGa (let’s be honest, it’s mostly an art crush) and a celebrity television chef who has not admitted her sexuality to Barbara Walters. Historically I’ve been attracted to chefs and workaholics. Watch hottie Blythe Beck talk to her cocktail waitress Robyn about “lubing up your pan with butter” and tell me you don’t have a complete heart on for her.
I decided that I am going to do something bold to start of Two Thousand and Femme, a year I intend to be one of focus, intentional learning, deep practice* with my podcast and media projects as well as developing my firm’s entertainment and real estate client base, and leaving room for a lot of unexpected magical moments. I like the idea of starting that year off with doing something bold and scary.
I challenge everyone out there to articulate your desire (to yourself or someone else) on New Year’s Day. Just one thing. Ask someone out on a date. Ask your longtime lover to try to the GBS** for the first time. Wear something sleeveless indoors if you’ve never done that before. Tell me about it!
Another part of my New Year’s Revolution*** plans was to learn 12 different ways to make kale, but it seems like my digestive system hates kale very much, so I may need to choose another dark leafy green like spinach.
It’s hard to actually make resolutions for a lot of people, because those set you up to fail. I am really goal-oriented and once I realized that my Revolutions have to actually be attainable, I have had some great success with my New Year’s Revolutions. The key is to make them intentional and realistic.
*I read about deep practice in the November issue of Oprah Magazine–the whole thing is here and it’s a really great read.
**Gay Butt Sex
***Thanks to Amanda, Femme Family Madam of Country Glam for that term.