If you’re thinking of giving your lover(s) the royal treatment on “Steak and Blow Job Day,” I would encourage you to brush up on your oral service skills to make the holiday special and unforgettable. A full belly can only be complemented by a great blow job, so take your task seriously, and your sweetheart(s) will sing your praises…quite literally. Many of us (but certainly not all) queer femmes service our lover(s)’ not-so-permanent cocks (i.e. dildos and toys), and while this is my specialty, I think these tips can be applied across the board for all body types and genders. First, remember this is a performance, so show us what you got! You are front and center, so pull all the stops, and dazzle your sweetheart by following these three tips:
When I get enraged about stuff, especially frustrations with dating and the like, I take my rage and channel it into productive things. Usually my community building work, my writing or performance. I got the greatest email this morning from my friend Jessie Dress.
Have you seen this PETA ad? It’s everywhere right now.* Chris’ little sister, who is a vegan and a fat ally, took her rage to PETA and instead of getting a nuanced response from them, just got some fat hating “Fat people WOULD feel better and be more healthy if they ate vegetarian.” Not actually acknowledging any biodiversity or anything that makes bodies different. Fat=death to PETA. Also, let’s not forget how completely misogynistic they are, and constantly striving to exploit women to “sell” veganism.
Okay, I couldn’t start off this post without a rant. I tried.
Anyway, so Jessie’s email to me, in the line of taking your rage and doing something productive with it:
So today I was having a fucking shitty ass morning at work, and every time I went to facebook to try and escape my work and life drama, I kept seeing that fucking shitty PETA ad. It was pissing me off, and I decided to make some improvements. I posted it on FB, but also wanted to send it along to you because well, we were talking about Arts & Crafts and I thought you might appreciate.
hope your ‘danna planning is going well! Let me know when you have them finished, bc I’d for sure like to grab one of each!**
Here it is! It makes me have so much joy!
*As a side note, I want to point out that I was at my fattest when I was a vegetarian. And when I was vegan, guess what, I was still fat!! For me meat is something I crave. I feel healthiest when I can get a good balance of meat, veggies and fruit. And as an animal lover I feel really good about making ethical, local choices regarding meat and feel grateful and lucky there are a lot of small grocers that carry that kind of meat nearby.
**Jessie has been kindly walking me through doing DIY screens and what what for FemmeCast merch.