NYC April 14! Queer Performance and Dance Party Rebel Cupcake 12: I Love Lucy

Booking for a monthly show is so heartwarming. I get to share some of my favorite artists with my crowd and create a special alchemy of performances to fit certain themes and, always, leave the audience feeling good and ready to dance, mingle and let their lights shine. Sometimes I day dream about who I would have at a show if I had a big budget and could fly someone in every month.

Serendipity often has a hand in determining the line-up for my show, and this month’s Rebel Cupcake she really came through. Not one but two of my favorite out of town beauties are in town for Rebel Cupcake–I hope if you are near NYC you’ll come out!

The photo booth is black and white in honor of the I Love Lucy theme. Optional dress code is to serve Ricky, Lucy, Ethel or Fred. Save $2 off the door by signing up for our texty texty list (promise no spam).

Valentine’s Day Weekend Non-Stop Queer Style

This year’s Valentine’s Day weekend was glamorous and non-stop. There was an intense agenda of queer happenings and what better way to get my feet back into the Brooklyn swing of things after my extended sojourn in San Francisco* than to try to do everything? It began with Rebel Cupcake 10: Erotic City on Thursday, February 10th.

Some of you might be wondering how I can maintain this stamina. The key is that I don’t drink much (one or two well-timed drinks max) and I wear flat shoes when I intend to dance a lot. At the end of this whirlwind weekend my feet were actually quite sore, but I felt deliriously happy and incubated in this amazing community of artists and friends that make Brooklyn my home. A community kind of love, really.

Get into it: Femmes and Friends Fa(t)shion February

I present for your joy and eye candy her latest idea, Femmes and Friends Fa(t)shion February. It’s basically a community outfit blogging project, mostly by queer fat femmes and their friends and allies from different body types and sexualities. Jessie said, when launching it, “I want to see your hot ass! I want to see people wearing work clothes, or house clothes, or going out to dance clothes. I want to know where you got what you’re wearing, and what you did to make it fit your body and your life.”

Wyatt Riot on New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket

I love traveling queers! Wyatt Riot quit his job and life and hit the road. He’s living the dream! I ask him about that and his fashion on the latest episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket! (And review Stash Lemon Ginger tea.)

Special Discount for World Famous *BOB*’s One Woman Show!

Hey Unicorns! I’ve been busy having my Plus Size Party Girl (thanks Time Out New York for that press quote about me) gaycation in San Francisco, but things are still rolling along back home. World Famous *BOB* has generously given my readers a special discount to go see her one woman show next weekend!

It is playing February 3rd, 4th and 5th at Wild Project in Alphabet City (NYC). Here is the link for discount tickets.

Oakland! Rebel Cupcake Meets Hot Box Friday, January 28th at 9:30!

I am super excited to bring the magic of Rebel Cupcake all the way out to Oakland! Tell your friends, this one of a kind performance and dance night is going to be even better because there are so many amazing party producers teaming up to make it happen.

PLUS a costume contest! I wish I could offer that at the NYC Rebel Cupcake! Make $100 just by looking fly in 80s gear!

Unicorn Party

When one has friends scattered throughout the world and Facebook links us together, we get to have intense fear of missing out (FOMO) when we see all of the amazing photos and events going on without us. KFW lives in Oakland* and I live in Brooklyn and I have never experienced such intense “I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE” as when I heard about the Unicorn Party she threw.

Hard Candy Christmas

And, yeah, it’s sort of sad and isolating sometimes to be single at the holidays and not with your family or whatever. But then I remember my very saddest Christmas ever, when my ex-fiance and I had just broken up the month before, I was going to California to see my family without him on a trip we had booked together. I remember waking up on Christmas day with this ache in my chest, knowing he was with his new girlfriend and her family I couldn’t even begin to think about what to think about through all of that sad. It was so crushing.

This year I’ve been hearing about everyone’s hard candy. Having a family or not having a family is hard. Both are hard. There’s either the pain and isolation/liberation and joy of not having obligations on the holidays. Or there’s the expectations upon expectations upon performance upon pleasing everyone upon love upon celebration of being with family. I think hard candy is part of life and it can bring you sweetness or toothaches. It’s just how you saddle up for the ride.

As a Happy Holidays from me to you, I present this touching video from Rebel Cupcake 7: We <3 Dolly, burlesque legend of our time World Famous *BOB* performing Hard Candy Christmas.

My Intention Behind Art & Soul

I went to visit the space and it seemed like a great spot. It’s well-lit like a coffee shop and there is cool art on the wall. The exhibit will change every month. The bar itself has a really cozy vibe and the gallery has couches, chairs, tables with flexible arrangements which makes it perfect as an event space. The bar serves beer, wine and has a menu of nice food. I immediately thought, “This is the kind of place I want to hang out with my friends.”

Rebel Cupcake has been wonderful and I am going to keep putting it on, but it is still very nightclub and harder to meet new people unless you’re comfortable doing the bar scene meeting new people thing. Art and Soul is definitely going to have a different vibe. I’m hoping late 90s inclusive feminist bookstore coffee shop.

I’ll Just Say Fare Thee Well: The Myth of “Getting Closure”

I believe the idea of “getting closure” is a myth. I think we idealize “getting closure” where you meet your ex at a neutral coffee shop and share lattes like you’re in an early 90s episode of Friends and you talk about your relationship and get all of those answers you are really missing that will help you tidy everything up like you fold your sweaters and put them away for the summer. Emotions are messy and crazy. You have no control over the other person and what they’re going to say to you. Sometimes they won’t “give” you anything (as I’m experiencing now) or they’ll just do or say the same dissatisfying shit that lead to your break-up in the first place. Zoe’s Break-Up Survival Guide says (the gist of) “Try not to worry about how or why, try accepting that it is.” Learn your new normal. But, I think, unless you’re in the best possible break-up working in out in couples therapy or something, you won’t be able to just walk away and say “that was all neatly packaged, it feels closed.”