Loving Her Was Like Driving a New Maserati Down a Dead End Street
Our connection was so good! Like a hot fast car you can’t take anywhere. I read recently that we become whole and complete ourselves but there’s work we can only do on ourselves in relation to someone else. I think I felt a lot of grief about the work we were going to do together?
Remembering Ria Pell
I know now that what’s most important in love are experiences with loved ones. And Ria gave me such great experiences. I’m so grateful.
Five Ways I’ve Learned to Embrace the Velocity of Change
I’ve noticed my friends going through a ton of big changes lately. Huge new jobs—dream jobs. Sudden moves. Losses of many kinds. A lot of them have gotten into romances in the last few weeks–it reminds me so clearly of that time where I thought I was going to lose my friend. I’m still having to remind myself often that I’ve weathered these kinds of friendship changes before and it is going to be okay.
I’m positive all of these big changes aren’t just isolated to my friends. Since this is probably relevant to my readers, too, I thought I would do a round-up of some of the things I’ve learned along the way about embracing the velocity of change.
Magical Smoothies
{Also, stuff I’ve been up to lately}
I have given up on caffeine and refined sugar again (after a happy Fall/early winter free of both and physically feeling great) and other than being ever so tired I’m doing okay. I’m sleeping a lot right now. Curse the late winter blah blah blahs and the traitor daylight savings sun that makes it seem like it should be a lot warmer than it really is!
Smoothies are really helping this time, the natural sugar pep is waking me up and ever so tasty. To this end I’ve started concocting smoothies from basic ingredients around. I just made this one up and was super happy about it.
In Solidarity With Those Who Have Been Called “Too Much”
I’ve been called too much my entire life–too fat, too loud, too feminine, too “lipstick” when I first came out, too expressive, too blah blah blah blah blah.
I hate it. I love big and I always express myself. When I am excited about something I get louder, and I really like to be excited. I am effusive in my praise of people, and when I’m with someone in a romantic context I can make them feel like the only person in the room. I’ve been told this by multiple partners, which is why I tend to date Leos. I have also been told that I am a lot different than people expect by a lot of lovers.
I LOVE romance. I really enjoy giving and receiving special attention and courtship. I am so not the kind of girl who can play aloof–I just don’t have time or inclination to pretend to be something I am not. If I can “take it or leave it” I’ll just leave it.
I was told by someone I went on a couple of dates with that I was “a lot to get used to.” It brought up a lot for me–I had so much rage around being told that and it took me a few weeks to unpack. It felt like being told I was too much, even though I know that wasn’t the intention.
Update about the Femme Conference
Your Femme Steering Committee hopes that you are having a wonderful year. As you may have guessed it is about time for us to start gearing up for 2010. We are very excited about Femme2010 and hope you are too! For those of you who were with us in 2008, you know that we ran at a $3995.07 deficit. We have managed, through generous donations from Femme Conference supporters, to raise $1606.45 to offset the deficit, but we are still short $2388.62. You can check out the financials page for 2008 here.
Correspondence: Aqueel or Michael
From the myspace mailbag:
Hi, Nice profile 🙂
Just wondering, do u ever flirt with men ?
If not, would you ever flirt just for fun ?
Michael
New Minisode of FemmeCast Now Available!!
After a brief hiatus, FemmeCast returns with a minisode all about the sweet stuff (or the not so sweet stuff we turn into a good story)!!
Host Bevin Branlandingham is joined by Femme Shark Correspondent Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, hosting live from a road trip journey earlier this Spring.
New Gossip Album!
“in Beth Ditto…I saw an out, queer fat femme owning her sexuality and hotness and never apologizing for it. Seeing someone else do it who was younger than me only inspired me to hurry up and get through my fat shame and start making something of myself. As she’s gotten more media exposure, I’ve seen Beth challenge notions of ‘cute’, ‘pretty’ and ‘fashionable’ in really hysterical ways. She’s a brave and amazing artist.”
What’s the Fattest thing you’ve done today?
Right now I’m on Gaycation with my Bestie Rachael (The founder of Femme Mafia International and FemmeCast’s Sexpert), which basically means I get a cheap flight to Atlanta and come live down here for a few days, going to parties and living life cheaper than in the Big Apple. Plus I love the South with a great passion.