Pep Talk for Hard Conversations and Stressful Gatherings over the Holidays

My intention with this piece is to teach anyone who is trepidatious about going to a gathering some of my favorite tools for hard conversations and difficult people. I’ve been working on healing from social anxiety intentionally for nearly five years and I’ve learned a lot about how to release defensiveness and needing to be “right” which helps a lot with harmonizing conversations.

How to Create Conditions for Forgiveness

When I endeavored to write this post I was trying to come up with some sort of tidy protocol for developing a more compassionate lifestyle but it doesn’t feel like a protocol, it is more of a way of life and a lens with which to view the world.

Tools I Use When I’m Annoyed

When all the astrologers referred to the early part of December as a time of heightened agitation and being annoyed I said, “Who me?” And, in fact, I’ve found myself annoyed! Here are some tools that help me:

It’s okay to thrive

I lost about a third to a half of my projected 2020 income within the space of a week. But, I have multiple sources of income and could shift my focus to that. I had strong routines. I had a lot of mental health supportive self care. I had strong leadership in my life. And now, five months into this quarantine, I feel thriving.

Finding heaven on earth, experiencing life as a gift every day, that’s a vacation all the time mindset I seek. (Regardless of whether I’m able to travel.) Being willing to get uncomfortable everyday is the growth edge I seek to become 1% better everyday.

Don’t Compare Your Insides to Other People’s Outsides

Something that was super interesting to me is that over these past few months as I watch and sometimes help my mom accomplish her goals, I started comparing my results to hers. The goals my mom works on are primarily art projects, service projects for neighbors or gardening projects. It’s fun to see what lights mom up and how much of a diligent worker she is.

However, I’m a Capricorn she’s a Cancer, we’re really opposite people. I’m learning how to tackle big tasks in daily micro chunks instead of fear-based procrastination and slap dash efforts. I’m learning how to deeply prioritize what I am moving forward and be okay with feeling out of balance. (Balance is a myth.)

General Life Update

Beloved readers, here’s what’s been going on in my life lately. Your girl is getting great press. I started my new aerobics class Fat Kid Dance Party. We’re finally moving! I’m throwing myself into spiritual healing for my grief. Bevin’s Tea is still brewing.

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Authenticity and Intimacy: Remembering My Relationship with My Grandmother

Some of the best gifts I have given myself were making decisions, even when I didn’t know how to move forward. The decision to stop hating my fat body. The decision to pursue an art career instead of law. The decision to move to LA. The decision to be myself, no matter what. Authenticity is freedom and the gateway to real connection.

In 2011 I made a decision to have a close relationship with my Grandmother.

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LA Week 7: Femme Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day

Here are some things I didn’t know about pools until recently. The unheated pool temperature will be an average of the daytime and nighttime temp. So even if temps soar into the 80s, if they’re dropping to 50s at night (which is possible here, and lately we’ve been more early 70s and sometimes 40s at night) that means the pool is way too cold to swim in during the day at about the 60s. Brrr. Heating a pool is mad expensive if you do it all the time, so most folks do it on special occasions. My grandmother has a pool and even though she’s been in her house in Rancho Mirage (by Palm Springs) for 15 years I’ve literally been in the pool twice.

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