Departing Instagram (hereinafter: IG) and Facebook (hereinafter: FB) and other Meta apps (Whatsapp & Messenger) last month gave me a lot of time freedom and an experience of withdrawal.
A book I’ve read several times, Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf, says this about social media (this research specifically looked at FB).
“Research shows that multitasking social media can be as addictive as drugs, alcohol, and chemical substance abuse.” Social media interacts in our brain like HEROIN and cocaine, y’all.
All the withdrawal I felt leaving IG (specifically my addiction to IG Stories) I anticipated. Because I’ve healed a lot in 12 step programs for family and friends of alcoholics, had lots of self compassion for my compulsion to swipe around looking for the familiar IG logo.
One week away turned into “after the New Moon in Aquarius” (a great occasion to consider how I want my relationship with social media to be going forward) and then “just a few more days” because it hasn’t felt right to get back on the apps.
IN LIEU OF SCROLLING!
Intentionally shifting my attention away from IG, I decided I was going to instead focus on where I wanted to grow as a human. We become the five people we hang around most and the books we read.
I made a list of the people I wanted to become more like this year and some of my scrolling time has been shifted to connecting more with them!
Brandi Marie Carlile has the grit, activist integrity and artistic merit I aspire to. She has an online fan community I’m part of so some of my scrolling action includes going through the social feed at the Bramily. I’m also surfing you tube for interviews with her. And thanks to her Bramily there are at least a few shaky cell phone videos from most of her concerts and I can spend some easy brain time at night listening to her music and how she connects to an audience.
Octavia E. Butler had grit, artistic integrity, artistic merit and was a visionary. I’m spending time listening to whatever books she has on audiobook (finishing the Patternist series right now) and that’s been a better use of my time than scrolling. Octavia used to do affirmations and manifestation in her journals and much of what she manifested for herself came true after she passed from the Earth realm. It’s a good reminder to keep going despite current circumstances. A body of work matters long after we leave, but maybe not my 6600 IG posts that Zuckenberger could delete on a whim.
My inner child LOVES Qveen Herby who is a majestic independent artist. She is EXACTLY who I needed in high school but sadly she was in Nebraska in elementary school. Second best is me learning from her now. She has a great podcast I’ve been listening to from start to current and she has a magnificent patreon and Discord fan community.
The two other people are folks I know in real life, mentors of mine. It’s important to be influenced by folks who can actually help you live the life you want to create.
In addition to focusing on these five women, I have been consuming content from Patreon creators I had been paying for but too full from IG stories to want to consume extra content. I’m also actually reading newsletters and blog posts from creators I value!
I can assure you–I put more energy into my blog posts and patreon work than I do an IG caption! I believe that to be true for most creators.
NEED FOR ATTENTION!
Attention is a neutral human need! Most of us were deficient in childhood from the kind of gentle loving attention we needed. My inner child reminded me I needed to make sure I was getting that need met.
Discord is a great social media site for communities. It’s WAY BETTER than FB groups and I’m in several active Discords. I get to banter back and forth with folks which is scratching the itch of DMs on IG. I get some news articles and discussions about the world from Discord!
I have a Discord for my aerobics class/ patreon supporters and in it I made a little diary as an alternative to IG stories to talk about my dating life and other stuff I didn’t want “out there” on the wild internet. Behind a tidy paywall seemed correct. I’ve kept it up off and on for a couple years.
In this time away from IG stories I started posting the day to day life reflections I typically would put in IG stories on my Discord diary.
I can post little videos of me storytelling/reflecting and shots of the snow and my forest and gush about the swoon worthy video of Brandi Carlile saying “Yes, Femme” to a bossy Shania Twain during a recent duet. Like I literally can’t thank you internet enough for existing and bringing me moments like this!
There are about 3-5 folks from the Discord who read and react to my little posts and my discussions with them scratches the itch of DMs and hearts from IG stories! It’s all the attention I need!
And also, genuine connection comes from calling friends and I try for at least one call a day to a pal! I love catching up with old friends and making space to deepen my recent friendships! I’m a connector by choice, it is so good for my mental health!
CHEAP DOPAMINE FROM SCROLLING!
Okay, yeah, I’m intentional but there is something to the blinging blinging of IG. (I noticed how much our local casino I walked through with Mom & her spouse on the way to a restaurant for dinner last week felt like the energy of IG/FB that I was missing out on.)
I am loving Substack as a way to get depth and good info from smart people (a lot of my IG favs are on Substack). You can “subscribe” to folks and get their blog posts sent to your email. It feels like old school Live Journal in that way.
The Substack app offers a “notes” feature and you can “follow” people on the app and see their notes pop up. (You don’t get emails from them–that’s only if you “subscribe” to someone.)
The notes reminds me of Threads and original IG when it was just pictures and captions. Since Substack offers paid subscriptions and easy sharing of posts I think it’s more effective than IG.
By the way IG takes a third of the money creators are paid for subscriptions and Substack takes 15%.
Scrolling substack notes scratches the itch I like about scrolling and I feel like it’s easy to stop when I’m satisfied–under ten minutes.
Blue Sky is like that as well. And some of my fav IG creators are putting their Reels on You Tube shorts and I appreciate that! I don’t want to miss out on what they are creating, but I’m willing to in order to deprive Mark Zuckenberger from my attention. He is literally the WORST business parter I’ve ever had!
The Finch app has been giving me the opportunity to, as my Discord pal Tai said, “trade self care tasks for dopamine” and I’m loving it. It’s Blingy Blingy! (I turned off the noise, though.) Two weeks into it and I’m excited to “eat the frog” of my care and work tasks so I can feed the bird. Join me? Our lil pets can be friends. (Friend code: 71771S18197)
Leaving something I was spending two hours on a day has been a challenge but I’m glad I did it! Next up I’ll reflect on my strategy as a creator to take my storytelling away from Zuckenberger and still connect to potential new clients for my aerobics, readers for my blog and listeners to my podcast.
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