Six days ago I uninstalled Instagram (hereinafter: IG) for the first time since April 2012.
I took a three month break from posting and consuming IG in 2019, the worst year of my life, but I still had the app and had a stealth account to keep up with my friends who had kids. I did not post on IG stories but I did develop a plan to minimize distractions and focus on “driving” it where I wanted to go.
Taking my mind control back from an algorithm, I did this thing where I had a menu of 10 people (about the max that IG will keep as history in your search) whose stories I wanted to make sure to catch every day.
Stories on Instagram are a content sharing format that disappears after 24 hours. The idea was stolen from Snapchat when that platform was starting to catch steam and dominate the attention of young people.
This was before screen recording was as available as it is now, but the idea that content isn’t “on main” gives it a vulnerability edge and people are able to be more real and sloppy. I have a Scorpio Moon I live for the real story and the deep dive dirt! Also people will post SO MUCH on Stories that they wouldn’t invest the real estate on our precious “grid.”
Stories give an opportunity to share pretty much anything on IG which is a great way to see news, learn about something, see a cute outfit, a dance routine, whatever the curator finds valuable.
Even back in 2019 the algorithm didn’t want to show me people I followed who had more than 10,000 followers. Once I figured out there were 10 people I wanted to always be connected to and learning from I just went through that list. I could finish that list of content in about 20 minutes on average. I had no real FOMO if I got through those stories.
I still managed to watch 2 hours of IG in a typical day (I have a timer on the app) which is an insane amount of time. I could get coffee with two different people in that time. But for some reason feeling in the IG loop was so important to me.
Of course, of that 2 hours of time I’m creating as well as consuming. I curated a little TV show on average 10-20 minutes of content about whatever I felt was compelling to share. Literally every James Baldwin quote I come across is reshared.
I might get thematic and open with a Chappell Roan video every day for a week. “You Must Believe in Spring” I fervently declare every Winter, with hopeful photos of something budding in the forest. You are your own best cheerleader I remind my audience to take charge of their thoughts. Posting links to my recent podcast episodes or blog posts. Reminders about my Zoom aerobics classes.
I love the self expression and to “hop on” video and chat with my IG Stories Besties about whatever I’m learning or experiencing. Like they’re here on my couch with me without needing to clear off space for them under my emotional support pile of oracle decks, planners and journals.
My goal is always to add value and entertain. I want you to finish this blog post and think that it was a good use of your time. The three resources we all have are our Time, Treasure and Talent. Social Media platforms exploit all three. And many talented storytellers are throwing their time and talent into the pockets of billionaires.
Thank you for spending your time here with me. 🙂
I use IG for business–I run an aerobics company whose purpose is to facilitate me teaching aerobics three times a week. I have gotten many clients from social media posts, but I’ve actually gotten more clients from friends of my clients and being referred by therapists and eating disorder treatments.
If I was being strategic with my time I would do more intentional reach outs to therapists and nutritionists who specialize in eating disorders and body positivity. But it’s less interpersonally risky to just post on IG stories so I did that instead.
I also use IG as an arm for my artistic self expression. I’m obsessed with helping people regard themselves with love and grace.
I suffered so long hating my body and hating how weird I was. I used to want to have the name Jennifer and be thin and disappear into a wall of plants instead of being perceived.
Now I’m proudly Bevin, taking up space and shining my light. I WANT TO HELP YOU SHINE YOUR WEIRDO LIGHT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
So I used IG to help do this! My life’s purpose is to help you love yourself faster than it took me! But I also use this blog, my podcast and aerobics class to do that and I’m probably better serving people focusing outside of IG Stories!
Attention is a human need, I received attention from my efforts and that was fulfilling!
The IG app shows immediate stats about how many people (and screen names) who looked at your stories. I think this made it very addictive for me, to see the attention. I feel very at home on stage. (And yet my social anxiety with one on one interactions is very real! I’m working on it!)
On a Q&A livechat in her fan community, The Bramily, Brandi Marie Carlile reflected that social media today is very different than it was five years ago.
Back then I was getting over 1,000 sometimes 2,500 views on my stories.
Now most days I have about 75-100 views with the occasional day with 150 but rarely over 200. I have 14.7K followers, all organic. (Meaning: I’ve never paid for followers, which is a terrible business idea, BTW for many reasons.) That’s 0.68% engagement in stories.
The algorithm is mercurial and maddening and it always makes me feel better to hear about other folks I admire who struggle to be seen by the folks who follow them. Luvvie Ajayi Jones has spoken at length on IG about suppression of her account and hearing that folks who never unfollowed her had to refollow three times. (If a creator is meaningful to you follow them for free on other platforms and get their email newsletter!)
I don’t think that I would have been investing so much time on IG both consuming and creating on stories if there wasn’t the sense of urgency (oh! this content will expire in 24 hours!) or the sense of being witnessed because of the statistics. Even 75 people a day is a lot of attention! I love and appreciate any person who receives value from what I post; I would create for even one person!
There were a couple names in my stories roster that stood out to me. My actual real life best friends, yes, and also a couple of people I didn’t know whose names ✨sparkled✨ at me, for lack of a better term.
I am psychic and I am great at reading energy. I know what I know and I don’t gaslight myself. I got kind of a crush on a couple of those names, seeing them, being witnessed by them.
I think anyone else with strong water placements (Scorpio Moon and Venus here!) might understand falling in love with a screen name. “Fall in love with the world around you,” I learned from Leah Garza. My advice to you is get a weird crush it makes life feel more like living!
In October 2023 we had an eclipse, my lesson was to pay attention to energy exchange. Something that had hurt my feelings for awhile was that there were about ten accounts who watched my stories every single day but didn’t like ANY of my posts on my feed. These kinds of things matter–the algorithm sees it! (Ughhhh I am doing my best to not let robots run my life or affect me in any way but the opportunity to get in front of new eyeballs who could receive benefit from my work is so real and your likes, comments and shares really DO matter.)
So I decided to set a boundary. I will block anyone for any reason that feels right to my intuition. And I said I would block any of those accounts who didn’t go through and like three of my recent posts within the week.
What was sweet was one of those crush accounts went through my feed immediately and liked the previous six MONTHS worth of posts. (I love an over achiever and a Virgo Venus.)
The other crush account didn’t unfollow me but I’ve only seen them in my stories once since that announcement happened 14 months ago. They just saw themselves out in a weird disengaging way. (Or maybe they slipped into another account to creep on me, or a secret third thing but I never felt that energy imprint again.)
The remaining lurker accounts were a mix of engaging and not engaging. But I didn’t have crushes on those accounts!
IG Direct Messages (herinafter: DMs) are also part of the addiction. Communication pings create dopamine and consider that even liking a DM becomes a little dopamine hit. It took Stories Crush Number One years to finally roll into my DMs but it was with this incredible podcast topic prompt which was my top episode by a long shot in 2024. (Is True Love a Scam? I consider in Episode 160.)
I need affirmation and attention from people I like and respect. This is a human need I’ve recognized in myself. I am not money motivated but hearing that even one person finds value in something I’ve published makes me so happy. People showing up on Stories every day was so great and I loved serving them!
I decided to uninstall all meta apps from January 19-26 in solidarity with an action to tell Zuckenberger we won’t be giving him our attention if he is just going to suck up to fascists.
I’m going through all the typical symptoms of withdrawal from an addiction. The twitchiness and restlessness. Swiping through all my app screens looking for it (I kept it on page 5 to try to make it less appealing to constantly open IG). A tinge of FOMO because I don’t know what “my mormon moms” are up to (I follow a few Mormon moms my fav super niche of blogging).
I am feeling so proud of myself for doing this uncomfortable thing and releasing this addiction.
Instead of my Instagram time I have been: calling friends. Sending thoughtful texts with “You must believe in Spring.” Writing. Reading email newsletters, blogs and substacks. (LOVING Substack, by the way. It’s like old school livejournal meets old instagram and, with their notes section, like Threads.) Checking Blue Sky once a day. I’m so grateful MattXIV, also a Patreon supported artist, is on Blue Sky!
Watching Patreon videos and reading posts from creators I care enough about to pay to support! Reading Octavia E. Butler novels. (Please read the Patternist series I need people to talk to about it.)
Watching you tube videos of Brandi Marie Carlile! (I became a fan in 2023 I have so many years of content to experience, it’s sooooo gratifying to fall in love with an established artist who worked so hard to get where she is–she really helps me have the grit to keep going even when this journey feels fruitless.)
I’m not going back to how I was. Not even close. I don’t yet know what my boundaries with IG will be, but I might not even watch stories again. I value this time and I loooooove depriving Zuckenberger of my labor and attention (my talent and time)!
I don’t know what’s going on with any celebrities and I am caught up on my Discord communities.
I think I’m missing most seeing that lil name pop up that sparkles, but I also am a dreamer and romantic and look up at the same starry sky. Knowing they probably saw Saturn tonight, too, might be enough.
If you want to receive an email every time I post to my blog, please subscribe to my Substack! You can also go live on the substack app just like on IG; I experimented and went live tonight while I was listening to Jazz and writing this post (You Must Believe in Spring is a phrase I got from a Bill Evans album, and Saturday nights are for Jazz).
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