All of this is provided for information purposes only and not a substitute for medical care!

Around the time of my Virgo season mental health spiral (TM) part of what was spinning me out was a lack of… anything to look forward to on my calendar. Third Pandemic Winter. Seasonal blahs.

When I started to come back from my spiral, an offer landed in my inbox that felt like the right thing to help me face the Winter with some hope for healing.

My friend Tamara, founder of Ganja Yoga Hawaii offered a psilocybin microdosing cohort that sounded like the perfect thing to help.

I’m Bevin! I would like to be a good influence on you! And I love my fungi friends of all forms!

During the pandemique I’ve been using psilocybin to help my mental health about once a month or so. It’s been helpful! I hadn’t favored microdosing but I also hadn’t done a few days on/few days off protocol before. And aside from the occasional camping trip hadn’t used psilocybin in community.

Tamara is the kind of grounded guide you want for earth medicine. She’s reverent of the ancestors, cognizant of the power of the medicine, protective of the lineages she’s learned from and overall she has the soothing calm vibe I am working to cultivate in myself. One of the coolest things about the way psychedelics work is that they help to root in the mindfulness practices we are using to heal by increasing our neuroplasticity.

Imagine there are little fairies in your brain that are released through the psilocybin that unplug the circuits our traumatic childhoods installed in us and plug in the things we are working on in therapy and meditation.

The first week of subperceptual dosing of our mushroom allies (.1g daily) I felt a bit of my sparkle coming back. My first day off the medicine for the reset period it felt like the euphoria of a full dose with no brain high.

I also found my thoughts defaulting to gratitude and ritual. Previously I was getting good thought experiences through relentless practice of replacing thoughts of defeat or self loathing. To have my first thoughts be gratitude was a fresh level of mindfulness.

After week two I noticed more pleasure in the little tasks of day to day life (*sigh* one might call them adulting tasks). Though I fantasize about getting to retire from ever doing dishes again for now I can settle on finding some pleasure in the task.

I’m getting better at single focus which as someone with a “sparky brain” as a psychic friend described the experience of being in my energy that feels like a massive improvement.

Our cohort has met three times now and each week has a theme we are working with the medicine and our manifestations. Tamara leads powerful visualizations, journal prompts, sound healings and breathwork. All of which help the our botanical allies guide us to our truths and our next levels!

This is Tamara sending good vibes during our zoom! If you are interested in getting in on the next cohort join her newsletter!

Last night Tamara had us each write down three action steps to move our manifestation forward (because, as Colin says in our recent podcast episode “Ya gotta pay to play” or as John C Maxwell says “you have to give up to go up”) I decided one of my actions is to write in this blog daily.

It’s a pretty big endeavor to commit to writing and publishing daily. But a commitment is a great way to bust through all those limiting thoughts about the information overload out there. My thoughts matter to the right people and I’m here to serve!

Since the world keeps feeling scarier for queer folks, perhaps my words and perspective on how to thrive in spite of the odds can be a hug on the internet.

Twitter dot com may dissolve before our eyes but as long as I can pay for the hosting here at QueerFatFemme dot com I want to share how I’ve found healing and joy in this wild, scary, beautiful unfolding world.

If you’re considering a journey with psilocybin for mental and emotional wellness I have a treasure map of folks who have been healing with our fungi friends that I’ve interviewed on my podcast.

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