(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)
Dear Kids:
I mentioned the term evaluated experience in yesterday’s letter and I wanted to expand on that today. I work with coaches who help me evaluate experiences and I find the external lens from someone who has been through what I’m going through so very helpful.
Today my business coach gave me some concrete questions to ask myself when I’m going through challenges that I’ll be putting in the front cover of my journal to return to.
Why is this happening? What can I learn from this? What can be good about this?
Using these questions as a positive way to spin challenges. (Not a woe is me why is this happening, just a why is this happening for our growth.) Our perspective is often the only thing we can control and evaluated experience is how we grow through the things we go through.
I’ve seen lots of folks repeat the same challenges again and again because they never evaluate the lessons. Or change! Life is about the lessons and when you don’t learn them you’re doomed to repeat them. You’re going to outgrow people like this. Let them be.
Something that’s asked for in accountability processes around racism is doing better! Learning from mistakes. That’s where evaluated experience comes in. White folks need other white folks to process with when we screw up and want to do better. Getting called out is a gift, the opportunity in it is to be a kinder human being and make the world a little easier and more survivable for other folks.
xoxo,
Mom
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