It’s time again for another Addition to the Queer Lexicography.
Sometimes I like to split elements of my night into “Glamorous” or “Unglamorous”. Tonight, for example, my old roommate Blaney came over and made me Fauxrizo tacos and we split a bottle of Pinot Noir. Having someone come to your house to cook for you? Decidedly glamorous. Taking a bath and finishing it off with a cream colored satin robe? Also glamorous (and a great investment, mine was $18 and I love it very much).
Blaney and me at the Dyke March.
Unglamorous? The part where my cat, Bear, has developed this gooey eye thing today and continues to insist on pooping in front of my current roommate’s bedroom door. Bear, unglamorous.
Loungerie. I blogged about this concept before, but now it has a word! (I forget who gave it to me.) Anything lingerie you buy that is really more for loungewear. Some lingerie is a little too… uncomfortable to be for lounging. But some is a nice long gown or a comfy chemise or a perfect cream colored satin robe and makes excellent loungerie.
Same Time Next Year: This is a term for someone with whom you have a standing arrangement for doing it about once a year. Works really well if you both attend the same yearly conference or event. It originates from this really awesome movie from the 70s of the same name. If you can sub into your mind when you watch it that it would work a lot more ethically if these people were just nonmonogamous or polyamorous, it helps to get through it. It also helps to get through it if you can overlook the Johnny Mathis theme song.
Oh but it is so very endearing and it’s such a sweeter and more tender way to say something than “fuck buddy”. The nice part about STNY is the little bits of romance and fun reconnection that set it apart from just friends who do it now and again. Anyway. I think it is just marvelous.
20Femme: I talked about this in my last post, but it’s worth an addition. This is the year of the Femme! Imagine all of the most admirable traits of the most awesome Femmes you know, and figure out a way to embody those traits yourself this year! There’s no stopping us now!!
And a twitter submission tonight. Via Sarah Dopp : Proposing “exacerpated” as a new hybrid word. Means: bitterly enamored.
Oh, I’ve been exacerpated. I probably am right now. “I’m so crushed out on that girl but her insecurity leaves me exacerpated. I just can’t do it to someone who isn’t into themselves.”
Femme cannot be bought. Period. But the process of putting together a style that makes you feel comfortable in your skin does sometimes take some scrappiness and bargain shopping. I love bargain shopping--I call it Femme Hunting. Half the time the process of getting together an outfit is fun in and of itself.
So it is in this spirit of opening dialogue about Femme Hunting that I present my new blog series: Girl You Look Expensive****. I'll find a fierce fat femme, interview her about her outfit and post it here. The idea is how you can look fierce and fashionable without spending a lot of money.
It has been a few months since I've updated the Queer Lexicography! Sex Tornado: You know how when you have a sexy romp and it goes on for hours and sometimes it lands in multiple rooms? Like the couch cushions are on the floor, there's sex ephemera everywhere (bottles of lube, toys, wrappers), clothes crumpled places, the bed blankets are on the floor, etc? And you go to the bathroom or leave your hotel room and come back and realize it is beyond obvious what has happened. It needed a name.
"I just got done cleaning up the sex tornado. I think we are due for another storm tomorrow night."
I've been called too much my entire life--too fat, too loud, too feminine, too "lipstick" when I first came out, too expressive, too blah blah blah blah blah.
I hate it. I love big and I always express myself. When I am excited about something I get louder, and I really like to be excited. I am effusive in my praise of people, and when I'm with someone in a romantic context I can make them feel like the only person in the room. I've been told this by multiple partners, which is why I tend to date Leos. I have also been told that I am a lot different than people expect by a lot of lovers.
I LOVE romance. I really enjoy giving and receiving special attention and courtship. I am so not the kind of girl who can play aloof--I just don't have time or inclination to pretend to be something I am not. If I can "take it or leave it" I'll just leave it.
I was told by someone I went on a couple of dates with that I was "a lot to get used to." It brought up a lot for me--I had so much rage around being told that and it took me a few weeks to unpack. It felt like being told I was too much, even though I know that wasn't the intention.