Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2012-07-31

Rebel Cupcake TV!

I know most of my readers aren’t in Brooklyn. I also know if they are, many of them are like comedian Kelli Dunham and refer to 11 PM as “The middle of the night.” I’ve excitedly had the last few installments of Rebel Cupcake videotaped and edited by the talented Laura Delarato and I thought in my absence I would leave you with a few episodes to watch!

CLASSIC ROCK CUPCAKE!

The witchy lesbionic magic of Nath Ann Carrera. This performance gave me chills–the second song, especially, a gender variant black mass.

I saw the full-length version of My Wife’s Ass last week and it was extremely raw and beautiful. An exploration of fat sex, love, embodiment and life in a fat-hating society. Here is a tiny touch. Also you get to watch Hana Malia boss the audience and Glenn Marla be fetching.

For some reason the Classic Rock Cupcake Miss Mary Wanna performance is being blocked by you tube. While that’s getting cleared up, enjoy her majesty from April’s Fire Sign show!

2011-06-08

New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket!

Filed under: Lesbian Tea Basket,Video — Tags: , , , , , — Bevin @ 9:59 pm

When I was in San Francisco in January I filmed an episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket about iced tea! This really awesome iced tea from this amazing place in the Castro! The gentleman behind the counter totally sold me on Hippie Blend. I was ready for it to be a disappointment with a name like that. But Hippie Blend is a good thing in San Francisco, I guess.

I hope you enjoy it!!

You can check out all of the past Lesbian Tea Baskets here! There are more in the pipeline to come!

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Me and Mackenzi on our trip to SF!

2011-04-14

New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket!


I welcome my straight friend Leslie onto the Basket to talk about Celestial Seasonings Red Zinger, Burning Man, her observations of the lesbian community and her cat. Also, we’re dressed like mythical creatures. Enjoy!

2011-02-15

Wyatt Riot on New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket

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Wyatt’s punching booth at the last Rebel Cupcake was a huge success. Glenn Marla can punch for real but he was being gentle.

I love traveling queers! Wyatt Riot quit his job and life and hit the road. He’s living the dream! I ask him about that and his fashion on the latest episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket! (And review Stash Lemon Ginger tea.)

You can buy the theme song to Put It In Your Mouth With Wyatt Riot. I just spent 99 cents for it and I’m excited.

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Silas Howard, my friend and a real director, filmed the episode. His movie Cooler is almost finished! Rebel Cupcake: Erotic CIty was a lot of fun!

2010-12-24

Hard Candy Christmas

This Fall I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself and my art and doing a lot of growing. I have also been spending a lot of time video chatting with one of my BFFs, Spunky, who lives in California. I took time off from my retail job (Re/Dress, one of the three prongs of my current career spiral path) thinking I would somehow by the grace of the universe be able to afford to go out there for Christmas. See my mom, see my friends and heart family and mellow out in some warmer weather.

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World Famous *BOB*, me, Glenn Marla at Rebel Cupcake. Photo by Lauren Golfer.

Things have been tight financially for the last couple of months. My main source of my three-pronged career path income has been really slow for lots of reasons, mostly the market and climate. Thus, around Thanksgiving I realized it was going to be toast to any plans to vacation for the holidays. Self-employment/entrepreneurial realness.

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I got written up as one of the 45 Hot Entrepreneurs in Go Magazine in November, though. I think it’s an awesome stamp in my celesbian passport. I have yet to get laid from it. I like to call this photo a Clark Kent/Superman juxtaposition. Photo by Lauren Golfer.

But then I realized that I was having trouble digging into my memoir, my friend Damien has been having great luck working during DIY artist retreats. I could afford to drive to Philly, I have heart family that lives there and needed a cat sitter. It worked out very serendipitously. So, I’ll be going away, doing no work other than art and self-care for several days.

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Damien, watching art. She’s doing so well on her push-up-a-thon! Photo by Quito Ziegler.

And, yeah, it’s sort of sad and isolating sometimes to be single at the holidays and not with your family or whatever. But then I remember my very saddest Christmas ever, when my ex-fiance and I had just broken up the month before, I was going to California to see my family without him on a trip we had booked together. I remember waking up on Christmas day with this ache in my chest, knowing he was with his new girlfriend and her family I couldn’t even begin to think about what to think about through all of that sad. It was so crushing.

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World Famous *BOB* has a tissue for you and for me. November Rebel Cupcake. Photo by Lauren Golfer.

What really got me through that time was Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas.” I had just bought her autobiography on cassette tape and was really digging into my passion for her. It’s such a good song from one of my favorite movies (The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas).

This year I’ve been hearing about everyone’s hard candy. Having a family or not having a family is hard. Both are hard. There’s either the pain and isolation/liberation and joy of not having obligations on the holidays. Or there’s the expectations upon expectations upon performance upon pleasing everyone upon love upon celebration of being with family. I think hard candy is part of life and it can bring you sweetness or toothaches. It’s just how you saddle up for the ride.

I have had a lot of blessings and amazing things going on in my life this year. I’m so grateful for this magical unicorn life I get to lead, the costumes I get to wear without even thinking about it, the lives I get to change just by making the art I feel compelled to make. Just this year I can count on both hands all of the new incredible artists and friends who have come into my life and are changing it. I have so much. And even as my birthday and Christmas plans have fallen through because I got the flu for Christmas I feel really lucky I didn’t make elaborate travel plans so it was easy to just sit here under the covers and rest. And now I have some presents to open up while I try not to move too far from the couch.

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Also grateful to have reached a doctor so soon before Christmas. She said “Have you been taking it easy?” I said I’ve been “taking it normal.” Photo by Quito Ziegler from a lesbolesque performance I did before I got the flu.

I got woken up from a nap today by the UPS man delivering a package for my birthday from my far away BFF in California, who I’ll luckily get to see at the end of January. I’ve been able to book a trip to get Rebel Cupcake on the road to Oakland (more info on that soon). So it all works out!!

As a Happy Holidays from me to you, I present this touching video from Rebel Cupcake 7: We <3 Dolly, burlesque legend of our time World Famous *BOB* performing Hard Candy Christmas.

I hope wherever you are you are safe, happy and full of love.

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Me and Sophie at Rebel Cupcake 8: Holidays on Fire. Sophie stopped by my sick bed today to bring me a care package of birthday candles, mac n cheese and feminist literature. Photo by Nogga Schwartz.

2010-11-29

Lesbian Tea Basket

I was struck with the divine spirit to share my recent passion for tea and my enduring passion for lesbianism in the form of totally DIY, low-tech videos. Mostly I am just frustrated with how hard it is to determine whether or not tea is any good from the box.

There are many episodes so far, they are released sporadically, with more to come as inspiration continues. I’ve instituted a rating system and occasionally have guest hosts.

UPDATE:

All of the episodes of the Lesbian Tea Basket (LTB) are in this handy playlist. Sit back, steep and get Lez!

So grab a cup of tea, cozy up to your computer and enjoy!

Episode 1: Celestial Seasonings Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride

Episode 2: Twining’s Citrus Spice Sunset (featuring Mackenzi and Regan)

Episode 3: Allegro’s Rooibos Vibrations (featuring Macy)

Episode 4: Yogi’s Rest & Relax Sampler (Featuring Erin Bunny)

Episode 5: Allegro’s Thirst Tamer (featuring Miss LEZ 2010 Drae Campbell and all three of my pets)

Episode 6: Magic Fruit Tablets and Yogi’s Breathe Deep Tea (featuring Elisabeth)

Episode 7: Trader Joe’s Pomegranate White Tea

Episode 8: PG Tips (With Austin Femme Mafia Mistress Jessie Dress)


Episode 9: TSalon’s Silence Red Tea

Episode 10: Maple Tea (With Alix and Jen)

Episode 11: Stash Lemon Ginger with Guest Wyatt Riot

Episode 12: Celestial Seasonings Red Zinger with Guest Leslie Medlik


Episode 13: Spike’s Coffee and Tea Hippie Iced Tea



Episode 14: Whole Foods Get Gorgeous Tea and Guest Bird La Bird

Episode 15: Consolation Tea with Leslie and Chavon

Episode 16: Lipton’s Herbal Ginger and Sunbeam’s Electric Tea Kettle

Episode 26: David’s Tea Birthday Cake Tea

2010-07-21

Radical ConSCENT

A few months ago I was at a Femme Heartshare Brunch in Minneapolis with the Twin Cities Femme Mafia and friends. Becky, Katie, Jessica and myself came up with a funny video about how to ask for consent about two scent issues–body odor and perfume.

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I turned the video into a video podcast. Enjoy!!

If anyone out there is skilled at video or audio editing and wants to help me out, I have a huge pipeline of projects I need to work on and would love motivated technical collaborators to work with!

2010-04-14

Exquisite Camaraderie: The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Queer Brooklyn Nightlife

In May 2008 I discovered the queer hipster party circuit in Brooklyn and it revolutionized my New York nightlife experience. 

I came of age shaking my ass at gay boy bars with my fag friends, one of the only dyke fag hags in the joint. Let’s face it, a Femme loves a Fag.*  And once I stopped trying to fit in at lesbian bars, because it never worked, I was generally annoyed at the bad music or lack of people dancing.

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A night out in Philly a couple of years ago illustrates my early frustration with lesbian dance clubs.

During its four year stint, Panty Ho’s was an institution in queer nightlife. Located in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn, a hive for hipsters, it definitely had the crowd of big plastic 80s eye glasses and ironic/unironic neon fashion. I walked in and was so excited to see a bunch of hot queers I didn’t know, hear incredible dance music, and drink cheap booze. And while I felt excited about the social possibilities, I was also a little freaked out at the lack of body size diversity. It was clear to me that I was the fattest girl there by a long shot and one of only a smattering of Femmes.**

Once I found out about Panty Ho’s I learned about all of the other parties going on and I was determined to get into a regular dancing rotation. Fresh from a break-up I was ready for something new. I loved the energy buzz of going out until 4 AM and meeting new people.

So I did what I do when I feel excluded—I try to include myself. I would send an email to all of my fatty and fatty ally friends before the weekend and tell them what parties and events I was going to go to in order to rally support. Even having one person on my arm was enough to get me confident enough to be out on the dance floor, making an appearance, and being part of the change I wanted to see in the scene. Sometimes I was lucky enough to roll up to 10 deep.

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At February’s Hey Queen with Taueret and Jesse.

Over the past two years I’ve gotten very entrenched in Brooklyn queer nightlife. I love this scene because it is super gender diverse—queer and gay cis and trans boys join andro queers, hipsters and Femmes of all stripes. I have learned the DJs who play music I like*** and I feel pretty confident that I can walk into one or all of the parties dressed as wild as I want to–whether or not I “fit in” I will be accepted. I’m in a great feedback loop of flamboyance.

I also rarely drink much out in Brooklyn as it is expensive and I am broke, but I have so much fun dancing and socializing I don’t really care. New York is fortunate enough to have Right Rides for those that need a safe ride home.

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Photo by Maro.

In a turn of total magic and gratitude, I am the Queen of Honor at this month’s Hey Queen party. The theme of the party is Size Queen—in celebration of body diversity and all of the ways in which you can be a size queen. A big shift from going into the queer nightlife feeling like one of the only fatties!! Size Queen is on Friday night and I am planning hourly outfit changes as I have the benefit of a backstage.

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The one thing that always bothered me about the fact that it is more of a party “circuit” than just one club, is that it is hard to know what is going on unless you get on everyone’s email list/facebook group. I have found the trick is to check TheQueerist.com (if you are an event promoter anywhere in North America PLEASE put your events on that listing service—it is fabulous and free and Lissa the webmaster is a treasure) and also the “friends events” tab on FaceBook.

Panty Ho’s is over, but there are a lot of other monthly or occasional parties that pop up.

*Sweat!, run by Khane Kutzwell, is an all queer, all gender expressions, all dance, all night sort of gig. Held at a lot of different venues, the crowd really gets rolling by midnight and is very diverse.
*Hey Queen! as previously mentioned, is on the third Friday of the month at Sugarland in Williamsburg. The promoters, Amy Agony, Scout, Kitty La Kitty & Sarah Jenny are very diligent about the inclusion of a lot of different parts of the queer community.
*That’s My Jam is the biggest queer dance party in town. Run by DJ Tikka Masala and Bad Boy Trent (both really amazing folks), it’s a really fabulous place to just go and dance. The performances, when they happen, are always top notch–they had MEN in February and introduced me to SheDick. It’s generally on a Saturday night.
*DJ Tikka also throws a few other nights around town so it is worth getting on her email list.
*He’s a Rebel is a queer soul night at Nowhere Bar. Not in Brooklyn (the East Village) but still fun to get dressed up in vintage duds and dance. Zan is an incredible DJ.
*Original Plumbing Release Parties! Both have been absolutely amazing and packed in NYC. They have them in other cities as well! (Related–Murray Hill’s Mr. Transman 2010 Pageant is on April 25th!)
*GayFace mysteriously pops up now and then with dance parties.
*Banned! was going on regularly last summer and hopefully will return again this year. Always a lot of fun.
*Muff Muff Give. I don’t know if it is actually on the third Friday, but people can always party hop to Hey Queen.
*Rumours. In a little room above Public Assembly. It has the air of a speakeasy.
*Rebel Cupcake. Me, living the dream, with a flamboyance & body positive queer dance party for folks of all shapes & flavors. It’s going to be Thursdays, monthly. The first one is May 6, International No Diet Day!

There are a few others, you should pop over to OutAboutBrooklyn blog for more regular listings.

What I love about this roll of parties and events is that they are events BY queers FOR queers. Each party promoter saw a need and decided to do the work to fulfill it. As a producer of shows and events for over 10 years, I know finding a good, consistent venue, booking it and promoting is no small feat. It truly comes out of a love for community and making a safe space for good times. Exquisite camaraderie.

In sum, I want to say that it is super worth it to create a niche in a scene if you feel like it needs body and gender diversity. Oftentimes when I was coming out as fat and femme, I felt really ostracized in nightlife because I just didn’t fit in. But rallying my friends and doing what I needed to feel comfortable really helped me create what is now a really amazing nightlife for myself. Also, my fashion motto for going out in Brooklyn is to wear whatever I will feel most fabulous in, and not worry about whether or not people are going to get dressed up. I’ve gotten opportunities simply because someone knew me as the “fat femme in the french maid’s outfit”. Imagine if I’d let my insecurities keep it at home?

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Check out this video in honor of the last Panty Ho’s made by the gorgeous Sarah Jenny (above with Ice Queen hair bling). It shows the magic of the queer nightlife. I’m in it wearing an outfit inspired by Heather #1 from Heathers.

Ally moved away and broke our hearts—I sang Acapella versions of “End of the Road” to her for an entire week

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*Tip of the tiara to Damien Luxe for “A Femme Loves a Fag / A Fag Loves a Femme.” I’ve used this turn of phrase constantly and even applied it to specific sex acts.
**Though, ironically, the promoter of the party would end up being Ally, who has the best manicures ever.
***My top local DJs, in no particular order, are DJ Shomi Noise, DJ Sirlinda, DJ Tikka Masala, DJ Amber Valentine, DJ Designer Imposter, DJ Lil’ Rae, DJ As If. Almost all of these DJs have played Pointer Sisters at my request.

2010-01-18

FemmeCast Video Podcast Episode 2: Heather MacAllister’s Embodying Fat Liberation

I have switching the FemmeCast Video Podcast hosting to Blip.tv because you tube no longer allows videos longer than 10 minutes.

I really hope you’ll pull up a cupcake and cozy in for 13 minutes. Heather’s piece is very accessible, chronicles the history of the Fat Bottom Revue (the fat burlesque troupe she founded) and also speaks to the need to use the body in order to work against fat oppression.

“We will never have our freedom if we only live from the neck up, yet that is the way that many fat people live, even, or especially, the fat activists and academics among us… The oppression of anti-fat hatred is sited on the body, and it is in the body that these wounds can be healed.” —Heather MacAllister

On the video the piece is read by Kelli Dunham, butch comedien correspondent for FemmeCast.

You can read the piece in its entirety, as well as 50 other pieces in the Fat Studies Reader. You should try to get it at your local indie bookstore (and make sure they order an extra copy for their shelf). If you buy anything from Amazon through my links my website gets a small referral fee, which basically gets me more books and music. (I got a free copy of the next Femme Book Club book, Leather Daddy and the Femme thanks to my reader’s clicking generosity.

Heather continues to be a huge inspiration for me. I am working on an oral history project collecting people’s stories about Heather.*

I am also collecting a slide show of photos of her for the Heather MacAllister Memorial Community Lounge at Re/Dress NYC–please send any digital photos you have.

We will be having a naming ceremony for the lounge on Friday, February 12 at 9PM as part of the Glutton For Fatshion Zine** Release Party at Re/Dress NYC. It’s a free event!

*If you knew her, would you please get in touch with me?
**The Glutton For Fatshion Zine call for submissions is going on through January 22. Read it at the link and submit!

2009-11-24

FemmeCast Video Blog #1: Activist Stretches

Filed under: FemmeCast,Video — Tags: , , , , , , — Bevin @ 11:38 am

During the last terrible no good very bad Mercury Retrograde, my pink desktop computer bit the dust. It was a shame, especially because I had just gotten comfortable using Audacity to edit FemmeCast, and also I have all of my backlog of podcast recordings on there.

I was given a technology upgrade in the form of a permanent loan of a Mac by my friend and hardware savior, Chris La Femme. The bonus awesome of the Mac is that I can finally start doing video podcasting, since the editing on the PC required expensive software my no-budget with no advertising podcast doesn’t allow.

The learning curve is steep, even on the rumored to be intuitive Garage Band, so the next episode of FemmeCast has taken longer to churn out. But I was able to do my first video!

This is me and Taueret, my new Ferocity Correspondent. We’re doing a stretch she taught me that she learned on the Equality Ride.

I’m now working on a series of “My favorite tattoos” starring many of my favorite queer fat femmes. Stay tuned!

2009-09-02

Videos from Summer Two Thousand and Fine!

First! I am super proud to announce Saturday, October 10, 2009 I am producing a Zombie Queer Cabaret & Spooky Dance Party in NYC! At the Stonewall Inn. All details at the calendar page. Right now I’m booking the show and I assure you it is killer! Costumes of any kind are encouraged but not required. Make travel plans now!!

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When I am facilitating a meeting, I’m a big fan of the “go around”. Tell us your name and stuff like pronoun, identities, and always a wacky question. It’s a good ice breaker, makes sure we’re all on the same page, helps get people closer, sparks convo outside of the meeting. At all Femme Family meetings (where all of us are self-identified Femmes) I ask what the Femmest thing* they’ve done today is as well as a highlight of what’s going on in their lives.

At least night’s Femme Book Club my question was “What was the highlight of your summer.” Mine was three fold. NYC Pride Weekend with the Femme Family. The Femmes of Power Book Launch with the Femme Mafia in Atlanta. And Michfest. Interestingly, in the past two days I have discovered videos published that feature my first two highlights!

I’m especially fond of this one by Maria Rivers of Labrys Magazine in Atlanta.

What I love most about it is that my outfit translates better in video than photo. That crinoline really floofs!

Today I was on the newly redesigned Velvet Park Media reading this blog post about the Butch Voices Conference.** It was with great delight I found Grace Moon’s video about the Dyke March. Best part is Rachel, our Femme Family Madam of Mystery*** talking about Femme Family and then in the next scene Grace is trying to do an interview and it is completely overwhelmed by the shouting of Femme Family and the Femme Sharks. Ferocious!

Scroll down in the side bar and clickie on NYC Dyke March. It’s a few videos down.IMG_2002
Our Femme Family theme dress was “feathers” because our logo has wings. Loved how everyone did something different! You can’t see it but Sophie’s got an old fashioned hat with feathers on it.

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Femme Sharks
Femme Sharks in NYC.

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I didn’t get a good picture, but there was a whole contingent of folks doing glitter & moustaches. This is my friend Blaney.

*Generally the Femmest thing falls into one of three categories: 1. Girly stuff (Today I painted my bedroom hot pink.) 2. Strength and Bravery (Today I quit my job to focus on community work. I’ll get the money somewhere.) 3. Dating (Today I successfully navigated overlapping scheduling of dates with two of my out of town lovers who wanted to visit the same week.)
**I feel pretty complicated about the blog post, and am working up a response.
***Here’s Rachel from the Dyke March. Can you believe the first thing I noticed about her was the eyelashes, and only 10 minutes later did I realize she was actually topless?

2009-06-10

Femme Pride Week Recap!!

Oh my lord! What a week! Together with the other Madams of the Femme Family, we pulled off New York’s first ever Femme Pride week!

I feel so honored to be in a place and time where Femme is an identity to be celebrated and honored, and the breadth of Femme presentation is acknowledged and illustrated. I hope more and more as we do NYC Femme events that self-identified Femmes of all ages, ethnicities, abilities, fashion inclinations, backgrounds, sizes, etc… feel welcomed and want to be part of seeing the power of autonomous Femmes coming together.

Speaking of Femme was so full of light, love, power and intensity! Femme identified readers from throughout New York City and our special guest, Mira Bellweather, from Michigan, threw down once again at NYC’s feminist bookstore, Bluestockings.

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Mira’s piece on superqueeroes and superhero identities was so great I am going to record it for FemmeCast, so stay tuned.

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Felicia Luna Lemus was incredible, and you can pick up her books (that are so great!) at her website.

I did a piece I wrote about my deadbeat dad and will probably release on the podcast. I got one of the best compliments, from an artist whose work I respect and draw inspiration from, who said it was simultaneously funny and poignant and worked on both personal and broader levels. As I write more for stage, I’m trying to develop a style. Sort of a sarcastic Carrie Bradshaw with teeth and politics. I think Speaking of Femme works so well because clearly there are people who are hungry for the words and performance of Femmes as they explore their own gender/sexuality identity politics and also because Femme artists need a place where we can workshop our materials in a safe environment with other queer artists.*

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My outfit for Speaking of Femme is my favorite summer halter dress (from Re/Dress) and a bouffant/ponytail inspired by Jacqueline from the Real Housewives of NJ. And Zoe, whose dress is from Re/Dress as well.

We had some in between events that celebrated Queer identity and Fat identity, to round out Femme Pride week, which I’ll separately blog.

The other Femme Family produced event was our coming out party. We were very intentional about the elements of the evening meeting with the mission of our organization. We wanted to have it facilitate conversation and community building, so we kept the dance music at house party level instead of “Omigod I can’t hear you” bar level. We wanted to preserve our current Femme history and show the breadth and depth of Femme presentation & Femme allies present, so we had a photobooth with a professional photographer and fabulous lighting. And we wanted to have a cabaret with Femme identified performers doing work that called into the room the incredible history and legacy of the transwarriors and Femmes that came before us.

We did the show at the Historic Stonewall Inn, where the Rebellion happened 40 years ago. If you see the neighborhood now, you know how much the West Village is losing the queer rebellious element. It was nice to bring in some of the queer flash that seems to have started segregating in Brooklyn.

I put together this slideshow that includes a lot of shots from the night and some video from the performance. Since Flickr is a bit picky about longer videos, there are two more videos of different performances from the Cabaret apart from the slideshow. I have to say, I was impressed at the big turnout** and the amazing hotness of the crowd. It illustrated that Femme comes in all kinds of packaging, and I look forward to proving that again and again and again.

Be sure to watch the videos… if only I had video editing software!

The photobooth was such a fun aspect of the night. I’m pasting a couple of my favorites here, but soon they’ll all be at our website.

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Almost all of the Madams.

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Almost all of the rest of the Madams. (And we want more! Wanna organize? Jump right in! Rachel did and she was our stage manager!)

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Me and Jesse, one of the most well-dressed men I know. I interviewed him for Episode 10 of FemmeCast on courtship and butch fashion.

So if you are near NYC there is a vibrant Femme community happening right here! Community is fostered on the internet but it exists in real life!! If there’s something you want to see happen in NYC, join the Madams! If you want to have Femme community, come out!

And you can always start your own Queer Femme organization in your hometown! The Atlanta Femme Mafia exists to be the big sister chapter to help smaller chapters start! New chapters were just approved in Melbourne, Austin and someplace in the midwest!

*I’d love to create a queer femme writer’s group to workshop groups with, but you know. I do a lot of organizing and not as much working on stuff.
**The proceeds go to help the Femme Family have a “Love Your Body” themed entry into the NYC Pride Parade–so gaystream and bodyhating, generally.

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