It is empowering to have an identity. It’s empowering to read about other folks who date fat people in spite of what society tells them is sexy or attractive. It is empowering to recognize that society tells you to be attracted to one thing and to swing your authentic preferences another way and work towards body empowerment.
What I find hard about it is that “chubby chaser” and “fat admirer” are current labels that, to me, seem to be fetishes and not appreciation. I don’t want someone to find me attractive because I’m fat or in spite of being fat. I want someone who is attracted to me because of how being fat is part of who I am and also because I’m a babe. Not because it’s a deviant sexuality to like fat girls.
I love fetishes and open sexuality but since most American women are above a size 14 doesn’t that make us not that unusual?
My friend Bridget wanted to get together to gossip about the Gossip and re-watch the episode of Watch What Happens Live where Andy Cohen gives Beth Ditto a corn dog bouquet a few times (I still have this saved on my DVR). Bridge and I decided to film our gossip sesh as an episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket! We rate a Rooibus Mint iced tea by Rishi and have some cinnamon rolls, too.
You know who will give these feelings in a way that my fellow musical emotional cutters will totally appreciate? Lovers will give it to you in the hurty way–hard and with a tortured look in their eyes. I saw Lovers live for the first time at Michfest a couple of weeks ago and have renewed my love for them from a firey and passionate place in my heart reserved for the most poetic and heart-breaking music.* You know how some music can take you on an emotional journey and relies on the instruments? The way Carolyn Berk sings you can tell she’s feeling every moment.
So the nice folks at Autostraddle asked me to contribute to their mega article about buying bras for queer bodies. It’s really cool and funny and I think you’ll like my Queer Fat Femme perspective. The Lane Bryant plunge bra really did change my life. Go read it.
The Bra Issue: Queer Fashion Guide For Various Shapes, Sizes and Gender Expressions
Also, I was in a radio play! It’s about a small town gay bar written by my friend Taylor who is from a small town in the South but really this bar and these characters could be anyone. I see a lot of my family in Memaw and some of the hateful Femmes I’ve known in my time could easily be the Femme in this. I play both the Butch main character and the Femme in this play. Grab a cold one and give it a listen!
AND One random Thursday Taylor texted me asking what I was up to. I had been at a press cocktail party exploring a new space I might use to book some parties in the West Village and was feeling just mischievous enough to get into some trouble. And since hitting lesbian bars with a gay boy is totally my 2001 I figured for nostalgia’s sake we had a plan.
In the meantime I often think to myself “I want to make a mix tape for my readers.” I love making mixes for people, as anyone who has ever been courted by me can attest.* Since I don’t have any serious crush objects right now, which is quite unusual, and instead I have all these other crushes. Like this platonic blog crush on a blogger I have almost nothing in common with but love her outlook on life, photography and way with words. She has a playlist that autoplays on her blog and I thought it was cool. Like she made a mix tape for her blog readers.
So I made you one. Just some songs. To get you through the fact that it’s still snowing in April in some parts. I thought about putting the Prince song about April snow but it was more of a bummer than I wanted. So here it is. Maybe you’ll be like me with Kelle’s blog and sometimes go put on the playlist even when you’re not reading my blog? Or maybe you’ll dive into the archives listening to my all over the place taste. (I lament the new MEN album is totally unsearchable on the playlist site.)
The latest episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket is a pretty rare event caught on film. My friend Elisabeth did not set out to do this but I believe she out gayed me for approximately 7 minutes. Not that being gay is a contest, since being gay is truly the greatest team sport of them all. However, I am told by many people quite often that I am the gayest person they know and I cannot wait to show them how Elisabeth is even gayer.