The Profound Grieving of my Feline Overlord
90% of deaths have some foresight, but our culture does a terrible job honoring death and preparing us for the inevitable changes in our lives. I knew from having experienced the deaths of dozens of loved ones, the grief process was inevitable, inescapable, and perhaps this one would be the most profound change of my life–no pets in my home for the first time in my adulthood.
Simple Self Care: Inner Child Check-in
My first life coach tried to get me to talk to my inner child with compassion and I truly could NOT speak to myself with compassion. Healing takes way longer than I expect and it’s better to just start, I’m so glad I started messy and inconsistent.
The Return of Tanya Tucker: Featuring Brandi Carlile is The Unifying Documentary You Want to Watch with Your Opposite of the Political Spectrum Family
I think going into family gatherings with a list of compromise, fairly neutral media to screen together is a good idea. (My family loved to go to the movies together on visits.)*
I find it easiest to deal with folks like that to focus on what we have in common. I think this documentary could create some family harmony for potentially up to 1 hour and 47 minutes.
Creating a Kid’s Area for a Memorial or other Gathering
It can be so hard to know how to deal with death and kids in a society that is pathologically afraid of genuine feelings, especially the sad and hard feelings. But the basics are–let’s teach kids how to feel bravely so they can grow up and not have to reparent themselves like the rest of us have had to.
Four of Cups Livin’
4 of Cups Livin’ is, once again, releasing control and struggle so I can experience contentment and sufficiency. Fully present! Mindful!
I Hope Your Crying is Cathartic
No one has to “deserve” to cry in order to deserve to cry. Being ashamed of our tears is a result of the hyper independence we are taught by the white hetero capitalist patriarchy. When I say evict the cop from your brain, this is one example of the way we are taught to police ourselves, to deny our emotions for other people’s comfort.
You Don’t Need to Perform Okayness: Peculiar Holiday Grief Feelings
If you’re reading this and feeling weird about the holidays, I want to encourage you to borrow Angela’s line “I don’t have to perform okay-ness.” You don’t have to spend time with people who feel draining or who you think you have to tap dance for.
Sweet Moments in Grief
I want the people in my life to thrive in my love. I want to thrive. So I’ve developed a bunch of grieving skills to help with that.
When I’m Grieving I Turn to Two Things
Call your people. Dance.
Call someone you haven’t talked to in years. Dance.
General Life Update
Beloved readers, here’s what’s been going on in my life lately. Your girl is getting great press. I started my new aerobics class Fat Kid Dance Party. We’re finally moving! I’m throwing myself into spiritual healing for my grief. Bevin’s Tea is still brewing.
You are Stronger Than You Think: Grief, Resilience and Capricorn Resistance
Capricorns are the goat climbing the mountain. Persistent, ambitious, success-driven, not showing weakness. The cardinal Earth sign. The Keep It Together and Look Good Doing It sign.
I understood Grandmother’s reticence to ask for help when she got swept away to the hospital, to sit in a bed by herself and not call her kids or grandchildren. Just to do it on her own and not bother anyone. Getting away with not seeming like a mess or like she needed anything.
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I Promise My Personal Tragedy Will Not Interfere with My Ability to Do Good Hair: Remembering Amanda Arkansassy
I try like hell to take care of myself. I try like hell to model self care for the corner of the internet where people pay attention to what I say. When I’m modeling self care, I am saying “This is how I am staying alive today.” Because self care is vital and survival is vital.