Bevin's Blog I'm blogging the relentless pursuit of my joy


Femme on Femme, Art and Inspiration: A conversation with GAYmous!

I wrote about the awesomeness that is GAYmous a year ago, when they released their first video (Let’s Pretend We Don’t Have) Feelings. Since then, they’ve released a new self-titled EP and we’re blessed with their newest video, Femme on Femme!

FOF_Bed-1-jpgPizza Cupcake (left) and FX Boi (right).

If poppy new wave and contemporary radically inclusive queer politics had twin babies and they came out as a spandex clad fat genderqueer femme and an LHB (stands for Long Hair Butch), that’s GAYmous. GAYmous‘ sound is reminiscent of all of the magic I loved in the 80s. Do you like You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive? Or What Have I Done to Deserve This by Pet Shop Boys? Or Venus by Bananarama? You should give GAYmous a try!


Femme on Femme is important fat, queer art that gives us representations of fat queer femmes, including femmes of lots of gender presentations including genderqueerdo femmes, femmes of different abilities and racial diversity that is missing in a lot of media representations of queers. Its also full of crystals, glitter, bondage, great outfits (shout out to Size Queen Clothing), pizza tattoos, a queer porn star I recognized from Trouble Films, lingerie, garters, witchcraft, and the Collective Tarot. And an LHB on keyboards and servicing with popcorn and standing to the side while a femme coven does a cake bondage ritual.

I’ve written extensively about Femme on Femme action before and am super excited to see it come alive on screen in this fun and beautiful way!

Queer synth pop duo GAYmous takes you to the magical femme disco witch sex coven of your dreams as singer Pizza Cupcake seduces a sexy new witch recruit with spells, choreographed dances, and kinky rituals.

I took the opportunity to interview the genius duo about art, values and fat queer utopia.

What are your values as a band/queer artists?

Pizza Cupcake: GAYmous values unabashed queerness. We also want to create music and visuals where (gender) queer and fat people can feel seen and celebrated. We also worship at the altar of the synthesizer.

FX Boi: We want to make music that is political, sexy, and embodying. Something that opens up a dance floor. That makes people feel good, feel heard, feel sexy, and music that is very specifically queer.

What inspires you to make art?

Pizza Cupcake: I studied classical music for most of my life and even went to undergrad for vocal performance. I loved the drama of operatic singing but something was missing. I felt like I couldn’t be myself and there wasn’t space for a gender weird fat kinky queer femme in classical music. Starting GAYmous was a happy accident and I will be forever grateful to FX Boi for getting me out of my choir boy shell. It was so liberating collaborating to write original songs instead of singing German Lieder by an old dead white guy.

These days I am inspired by my friends, lovers, and community. I love taking an inside joke and turning it into a kinky queer vocabulary lesson for the masses. I was certainly inspired by your Queer Lexicon posts on your blog. I think I’m always creating art for younger me, a fat, closeted, suburban homo who was hungry for any representation.

FX Boi: I’ve been writing songs since I was 12. To me, it’s just a part of my life, always has been. It’s actually a bit of a compulsion. When I was a young rural queer, it was definitely my lifeline. I felt really isolated and would spend hours behind closed doors writing songs and attempting to create a multitrack recorder with two tape decks because I wanted to write many parts, not just vocals and guitar. Let me tell you, some of these songs were downright terrible, but they were all exercises and therapy for me. I’ve been in bands and done solo music all my life – indie rock bands, metal bands, math rock, punk bands, and now electronic music for the past decade or so after I fell in love with synthesizers and realized my palette could expand from a 5-piece rock band to an infinite number of sounds, shapes, textures and moods.

In reference to GAYmous, it’s about creating queer-specific pop music, by queers, for queers and creating spaces at shows that are specifically for queer people and queerdos. In my own solo project, Sapphic Lasers, I write songs about all sorts of things – alternative masculinities, radical butch-femme love songs, kink, celestial bodies, interrogating whiteness, being a small town country boi and jaded romantic at heart, etc.

gaymousfanartFan art from the GAYmous Facebook Page by Anna Archie Bongiovanni!

How do you carve out time to make art?

Pizza Cupcake: I’m a Gemini so I naturally get super excited about projects and then leave them all half done in tiny piles. I’ve been trying to curb this tendency my whole life and GAYmous has helped me figure out time management like a boss. I’m constantly jotting down ideas in a journal, leaving voice memos on my phone, and humming to myself. A lot of these ideas get crystallized together so I make band practice after my day job a priority. I’m also a big fan of those artist way type activities like morning pages to get all my ideas out.

FX Boi: I’m an Aries, which means I have a lot of gusto and energy. I’m very busy and time-challenged, but I make sure to make “art dates” with myself where I will work on editing, songwriting, creating. I also have found that I don’t feel balanced or healthy without carving out this time. Sometimes I squeeze in an hour or so of songwriting in between things (which often makes me late) or I dedicate a whole night or afternoon to working on things. A lot of songwriting actually happens in my head. Melodies or ideas will come to me and I’ll record them walking down the street into my phone and often get weird looks. My ridiculously talented friend, Nomy Lamm, and I actually compared voice notes on our phone once – it turns out she does the same thing! We thought it might be fun to trade phones and finish writing each other’s songs or do a compilation of these funny, fragmented voice notes. Writing GAYmous songs is usually pretty fun and seamless and collaborative with Pizza Cupcake. Whereas I often get more stuck on songs I’m writing for myself. Sometimes I just chew on a song I’m working on in my mind for a while and take it in different directions.


What would be your idea of utopia?

Pizza Cupcake: No one ever says the phrase “good fatty” and the only trolls live under bridges. Touring internationally is cheap and easy. All the gym bros have gone missing. Dating scarcity feels doesn’t exist. Everything good feels abundant. Breakfast tacos are found everywhere not just in Texas. Femmes reign supreme. All plus size clothing is cute.

FX Boi: Capitalism, white supremacy, ableism, patriarchy, queerphobia, transphobia, fatphobia, classism, etc. comes crashing down; we destroy all clocks and use their remains to make art projects and have tons of “leisure” time to work on our passions, grow things, cook things, eat things, love people, fuck, lounge, swim, explore, feel sun on our cheeks, lay in grass, try new things, read, sleep, make things, collaborate. It’s like one, big long, eternal queer potluck/skillshare/sex and pool party. And everyone brings stuff like mac n cheese and cookies instead of kale salad. Oh and utopia has no bosses. Except #femmebosses.

gaymousepPlease throw dollars at this amazing queer band and buy their EP!!


Catching the Brass Ring

In my last post I talked a lot about the trifecta (housing, romance and career). I’m a big believer in thinking positively–and thinking big*–and in that vein I’ve been writing lists of what I’m looking for. I have articulated my career desires and my roommate/housing desires**, but let’s be honest, the romance stuff is way more fun.

A friend of mine told me that coming up with her ideal personal ad helped her to recognize the person when they came into her life. Another friend started referring to her hypothetical “First Lady” and within a few months totally manifested it.

I call the phenomenon of declaring your pie in the sky wishes for a potential date and then finding your manifested desire catching the brass ring, especially when that desire is beyond what you really thought you could get. I talked a lot about not settling for less than you want or deserve in Episode 6 of FemmeCast (The Lesbian Footwarming Syndrome). I believe really strongly that we all have brass rings available to us and we shouldn’t stop looking. As fat girls and queers, we often get stuck in a scarcity mentality that makes it difficult to imagine there is someone (or more than one someone) out there that can be a head, heart, lust match a/k/a Unicorn Dick.

Of course, it is much easier to see this for other people than in your own romantic life sometimes. I always post this ad to Craig’s List when I feel a little curmudgeonly about love. More out of a way to prove to myself that I still actually have hope than a sincere desire to wade through the responses asking me to define Faggy Butch. I also almost always get several responses from people who really love the ad and think it’s great that I posted it.

June Femme seeks Johnny Butch -30- NYC

I am a glamorous, queer fat femme. A glimmer in my eye, catalyst, comforting, big hair, big heels, big eyelashes kind of girl. Remarkably soft skin but never afraid to get dirty (though I’ll take the necessary precautions to maintain the integrity of my clothes). I also kill bugs. Always overdressed social butterfly who would do anything for my friends and loves creating and building community. Marilyn Monroe crossed with Dolly Parton crossed with Miss Piggy, with a dash of Siouxsie Sioux and Ginger Spice. I have a good sex drive, identify as a switch with a default to top and fuck back with gusto. I’m always thinking up ways to delight you and I pay attention to the little things. I am the life of the party but I love a night in. Tender, nurturing, and emotionally available. I’m a good communicator but processing too much makes me yawn. I love watching butches get dressed. I am always ready for an adventure.

You should be stylish, with good hair, tattoos and in touch with your faggoty side. Appreciate your deep lez roots. Be a badass on the outside, sweet, friendly and tender on the inside. Love your community and recognize your part in it. Wherever you land on the transmasculine spectrum, have thought about it and be comfortable and confident in your skin. Think on your feet, be smart, articulate, funny and easygoing. Make art a priority. Make passion a priority. Be charming but genuine. Love animals, I’ve got three. Don’t embarrass easily. Be committed to ever learning, growing and evolving. Have a hearty appetite and sex drive. See fat and queer as lived identities. Communicate well and be emotionally available. Jump into the party with both feet.

We will love ourselves first. We don’t hold back but know there’s no rush. We are a dynamic duo. We rock our own shit but look great together. We close down bars and go for daybreak walks. We spend long Sundays in bed, talking, fucking and napping. We brunch with friends. Long talks about gender, sexuality, gossip, celebrity, art, media, social justice, movies, 80s nostalgic kitsch and how to incorporate 50s retro style in a modern decor. Romantic, dynamic and passionate. We prioritize our development, friendships and community. We travel. We create. Basically, June Carter and Johnny Cash with a little less Jesus and pills.

My latest dinner party question, among my single friends, is to ask them to articulate for me their brass ring. As a born matchmaker, I am definitely looking to use my networking powers for good.

Wherever you are right now reading this post, I think you should pull out an old receipt, pull up a simple text editor, whatever, and start writing your brass ring list. What are you looking for? Who would your pie in the sky date be?

*Thinking Big is actually an upcoming FemmeCast episode theme highlighting queer entrepreneurs, community organizers and artists.
**And so far the craig’s list response has been downright creepy–here’s hoping my personal networking yields someone magical so I don’t end up momentarily homeless and living in Muse’s guest room.

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