The Role of Shame in Pursuing Justice
Something that keeps coming up for me is how much of a role eradicating shame plays in the toppling of systems of oppression.
Toni Morrison said about racism “If you can only be tall because somebody is on their knees, then you have a serious problem.”
We didn’t come here to fix a broken world we came to create the world of our dreams
The more you are vulnerable the more folks connect with your heart. Sharing that I work to build a future for kids who I don’t even know yet, that I want to bring into a world with a partner I also don’t even know yet feels a little nutty, however, true dreaming should feel nutty. Three cheers for feeling awkward and doing the thing anyway.
Worm Composting aka Vermiculture: Fun Family Activity!
Mom has used worm compost in her gardens on and off since the 70s. She has anecdotal evidence that the compost helps plants grow exponentially bigger! Vermiculture is a quality, fun family project!
I’m Not Broken
I assure you, in spite of technical difficulties, in spite of all the things. I’m still kicking. At least aerobically kicking.
Knock me down 9 times I get up 10.
All Kinds of Bachelorettes
For those of you who don’t already know, six months ago my fiance decided to end our relationship. It was a huge surprise to me, since a showy proposal 13 months before and a plan for a big wedding was already in the works. Six months out and I’m still reeling from the change that […]
My Big Fat Non Traditional Way of Dealing with Wedding Invites
Dara and I are planning on a hundred people to start with, which is both a lot of people and hardly enough. Instead of compromising on an invite list we split the guest count in half. She went through her Facebook friends list in one cross country flight, decided who to invite and sent out the save the dates.
I have been working on my invite list for two months and have no idea how to decide between my friends. I think some of this is because I’m going to be a forty year old bride and I’ve lived a lot of life. I have a ton of people I love enough to want to join us on that mountaintop on my special day.
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Bevin’s Rx to Increase Your Capacity this Summer—Number 1: Grab the text books
There is so much great healing available to you this summer just by curating your beach bag / pool bag / commute bag / waiting for your kid while they’re in a class bag. I’m excited to share with you my top picks to thrive and heal this summer!
Five Steps to Help Me Get Clear About What I Want
In people pleaser recovery we learn that what we must ultimately do is the work of knowing what is in our heart, what makes us sing, and what we want. I learned from Jeffrey Marsh that we do not need to be “nice” (doing what other people think we “should” or saying what they want to hear), but we can be kind. We can kindly say, “Hey, this isn’t right for me right now.” And we can be kind to ourselves and let go of the need for other’s approval.
Gender and Size Inclusive Activewear, Swimwear and Underwear Brand TomBoyX!
It’s pretty special to be a queer person with a Lesbian mom. It’s nice to have that in common, even as my mom and I are as different as you can imagine a Glitter Mega Femme and a Tomboy can be (or, in astrology speak I’m a Capricorn and she’s a Cancer–we are literally opposite signs). Last year on a visit to mom in her Lesbian village in the woods deep outside of Seattle, she proudly showed me her TomBoyX bathing suit covered in jelly fish. She has never been this excited about a bathing suit in my whole life, so I knew it had to be special.
Three Methods I Use to Have an Easier Experience with Life
In general, I find when I assume strangers are intending to be loving and kind it makes my experience of living in an oppressive world a lot easier for me.
Pronoia helps me keep my brain decluttered from other people’s judgments. I could spend a lot of time micro analyzing how strangers look at me or if I hear an audible sigh from someone seated next to me on a plane. Most of the time I assume their looks and sounds don’t have anything to do with me or my size. Maybe that’s not true, but probably it is true the majority of the time.
How My Year of Ask Project Helped Me Create an Incredible First Workout Video!
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”—African Proverb
Last week I filmed the first workout video for Fat Kid Dance Party Aerobics and these words never hit so close to home. For those of you who have been reading my blog for any part of the last ten years, you know I’m on a healing journey. Healing from origins I can identify and some I cannot. The process of healing, I believe, is awakening to who you really are at your essence.
Somewhere along the line, I absorbed the idea that if I didn’t allow people to help me I could take full credit for my success. In the process of creating the video shoot I absolutely had to ask for help. I wanted a product that looked better than what I could film on my own and I felt like my audience deserved a truly kick-ass workout video.