Dear Kids:

I’m resurrecting my blog to start writing daily letters to my children who I haven’t met yet. I am not even partnered yet, so in many ways maybe this is my version of How I Met Your Mother (in my case we’ll go with gender non-specified How I Met Your Other Parent), written in real time. If this was a sitcom I’d have someone as iconic as Bob Saget do the voice over.

I’m resurrecting my blog to share about what’s going on in the world. I was thinking about my 90% completed memoir, the archives of this blog and all my other creative output and how happy I was to have them at least for my kids to get to know me as a younger adult before they were in my life. I heard in a movie if a father hasn’t prepared his kids for his death (which is inevitable) than he has failed. That really landed for me.

I don’t know if I’ll live to know you as an adult. I want you to be able to come to these resources I’ve left when you’re ready so you can know me.

My mission in life has been to make the world safe for people to love themselves. I used to think that meant I needed to aim my work at eradicating the systems creating hostility for self love. (Whenever you feel bad about yourself think, “Who profits off this self loathing?” That’s a system at work.)

I’ve since learned that lasting transformation comes at a grass roots level, when each person makes a choice to enter into a practice of resistance through self love.

When enough people resist a system, it ceases to have power to influence and crumbles.

Day by day the world continues to change. Just 2 months ago I was talking to Alex the Medium on my podcast about how there is no going “back to normal” and that was just about the Corona Virus quarantine. Turns out this quarantine has set the stage for major transformation and the system of white supremacy is on the chopping block.

I wanted to start this daily reflection to share this time with you, to share some of the things I’m learning, witnessing, amplifying and how we are working together to create a better world for you. You are my “Big why,” the “Why that makes me cry” that inspires me to work as hard as I do.

I had given up real hope on having kids in the past few years and now have the privilege of working with mentors in my life who are helping me build the hope and possibility back up. When I start my day focused on you, it really pushes me forward.

I don’t think the work towards the social, political and economic equality of all people will be finished in this generation, and I will be passing this work on to you. My plan is to equip you with what I’ve learned so you never have to reinvent the wheel, you just get to keep making it better.

I also know kids really absorb what actions they witness adults in their life doing. I’m dedicated to getting 1% better every day so you learn from me to have a growth mindset and live evermore in alignment with your values.

We can either stay attached to the nightmare or the possibility. Doing nothing and staying silent in this time is to stay attached to the nightmare. I choose to think in possibility.

The most important thing we can do as change agents is to dream the world we want to create. I believe each of us is planted with seeds for the world of to improve. When we play small and deny those seeds they die with us.

Diversity among the human species is our strength!! We are taught through the matrix of oppression that to be “safe” among other humans is to be homogenous. This denies the value that every person uniquely brings to the table. We lose those seeds! We can learn so much from one another by valuing all people, centering and amplifying the voices of the most marginalized.

Michael Bernard Beckwith has been saying at Agape services lately that in this changing time in herstory we are either a participant or a bystander. I choose to participate and share with others.

This daily blog series is performative self care–it helps me stay accountable and hopefully inspire other folks to persist in their own work. (I started my dancing in the forest videos as performative self care on Instagram Stories because I needed to be dancing more and I was super depressed. It worked! I’m dancing way more again.)

The more you are vulnerable the more folks connect with your heart. Sharing that I work to build a future for kids who I don’t even know yet, that I want to bring into a world with a partner I also don’t even know yet feels a little nutty, however, true dreaming should feel nutty. Three cheers for feeling awkward and doing the thing anyway.

I hope you dance!



My full-length quarantine bangs before I finally broke down and cut them myself on Saturday. The wild roses blooming delight me every day!

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!