(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)
Dear Kids:
Quarantine pods are the new cliques. But, in a life saving, interdependent social support way. Not in the Mean Girls Burn Book popularity contest way.
Things in the coronavirus quarantine land are more concerning than ever, and having the people you’re sharing germy air with requires mindfulness, honesty and trust.
My mom’s/your Nanny’s birthday was yesterday and for her birthday we expanded our pod beyond just the three of us (her spouse and me). Mostly in our neighborhood it’s easy to stay socially distanced and wear masks to have gatherings. But for her birthday we expanded to include two couples who are dear friends and who had gone through a 14 day quarantine and wear masks 100% of the time in stores and exercise the same caution we do.
It felt risky, but low risk. Worthy of consideration, of course. And we were outside with them but still, it was risk and needed consideration. It reminds me so much of safer sex conversations and harm reduction theories from being a young queer adult. What risk factors are at play, how much do you trust the person you’re connecting with to be honest about their behavior?
I know from friends who have expanded their pods for others and then closed up after risky behavior (e.g. going to a protest, going on a family vacation) until after a covid test or another 14 day quarantine period. I think that’s wise! And definitely requires good boundaries.
I was already a little nervous about expanding our pod and saw lots of social media about how unsafe folks were being at parties over the 4th of July. We had a spike in cases from Memorial Day I can only imagine what the 4th will be like (and we’ll find out after two weeks).
I read a concerning NBC News article about a guy who after attending a party, contracted the virus and died the day after writing a facebook post publicly apologizing for doing such a risky activity.
The only real “right” thing I can make sense of in these times is to follow my gut instinct, ask questions and rely on trust with people.
But the “right” thing to do has felt like it’s changed a whole bunch during this time, and the kind of scariest part is that most Americans don’t seem like we’re on the same page about what “right” is and we’re fumbling to make anything work to flatten the curve.
I don’t think I’ll regret expanding the pod so Mom could be surrounded by a few folks she loves for her birthday. I do think the folks crowding on Fire Island this past weekend might.
I miss the beach and I miss travel and I miss some semblance of control over my circumstances, but I also know that in time we’ll figure this out and know the way forward. The next right step is sometimes all we’re meant to know in a given time.
xoxo,
Mom
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