Hello, my beautiful and gentle readers. As you may know, anything that starts that way is obviously asking for something, and this is no exception. I’m reaching out to the readers of my almost five year old blog to help keep my blog running, keep my life moving, and keep my work progressing in the ways you’ve come to know and love.
You might have noticed that I haven’t been posting as much lately. My laptop, which is the lifeblood to all of my creative and professional pursuits, has been on its last legs for almost a year. As a result, Queer Fat Femme, and my other endeavors, have suffered. The relentless documentation of my life is a huge passion of mine and I love populating my blog with photos, but I can no longer process new photos! Lesbian Tea Basket has been put on the back burner, as my computer will no longer play videos. I’ve also had to table some dire Word Press issues on the back end of the website (my RSS feed is still spotty), and cancel the hosting for the back issues of the FemmeCast podcast.
Aside from the laptop issues, I’ve had some life struggles that have made it difficult for me to focus on building my femme-pire. Life as a freelance lawyer is not always as glamorous as I make it look, and sometimes I feel that all I can do is hustle hustle hustle, which leaves little time for quality content.
As you know, I strive for excellence in all areas of my life, and this blog is no exception. Each blog post takes between three and twenty hours to write, code, photo edit and publish, with most averaging about six hours. I want to keep bringing you the parade of abundance that you come here for, and I simply can’t sustain at the rate I’m going. So I’m asking for your help.
Asking for help is hard, but I know if I don’t get ahead, I won’t be able to do the work I feel so passionately about. After listening to my friends and my heart, I’ve come to the realization that I need to open this up to the public.
I have SO MUCH I want to bring you! I’m finalizing my memoir, have several episodes of Lesbian Tea Basket just waiting to be unleashed, have so much love to spread, so much to share about the turns of my life over the past 6 months, and I can’t wait to share with you!
If I have I made you smile, helped you cope, given you insight, helped you climb out of a bad relationship, threw a party where you met your sweetie, brought perspective to your messy breakup, or made your life amazing in any other way, that’s truly a reward of its own, but warm fuzzies sadly don’t pay my vet bills, medical bills or buy a new computer.
SO: I’m starting a Go Fund Me campaign! I’ve put together some really fun prizes that might be of interest to you, and some of my amazing friends have volunteered some work of their own. Of course, I’m hoping you’ll contribute because this work is valuable and you want me to continue to be able to do so, but perks don’t hurt!
Please consider donating and picking up an awesome gift along the way! Maybe think of it as a subscription to something you love to read and want to sustain! Please consider signal boosting, as well! It’s cliche, but every little bit really does help.
I am so grateful for the life I live, and for all of you readers for your comments, affection, and strength. I’m also especially grateful for my amazing, worldwide queer family. We’re changing the world. Thank you for letting me be a part of it!
Here are the prize levels, with a little more flourish than the Go Fund Me site will let me do:
I will drop good intentions on you via twitter! My benevolent wishes are totally powerful. (I saw an I will make a wish for you as a prize on a fundraiser recently and I loved the idea that for $11 I got someone’s good intentions. I take this really seriously! I will drop good intentions your way in a public forum!)
I’ll send you a postcard with my benevolent wishes on it! Snail mail rules! Who doesn’t love getting mail? The postcard will be awesome. I made the below postcard to send to friends and it still lives on people’s inspiration boards.
I’ll guest list you to my event of your choice within the next year. Maybe you were going to go to Rebel Cupcake anyway? It’s kind of like buying a ticket pre-sale. This applies to events that I’m producing that I get a list for.
One fat unicorn pink bandanna, silk screened by me. It will look very similar to this one that I produced a couple years ago!
One “You Are Incredibly Resilient” poster. Conceived by me, designed by James Leander (a dear friend and graphic designer), 11″ x 14″ full color and a great reminder to stay strong in an oppressive world!
A tote bag that says “Fat on the inside.” It will be a bold print, and silk screened. I love tote bags and don’t fool around when it comes to them.
A tote bag that says “All Bodies Are Good Bodies.” Another bold print, silk screened.
The baker (we call her the Cupcake Princess) behind the delicious cupcakes at Rebel Cupcake will make a dozen for pick-up in NYC. They are incredible and this is a bargain! Generously donated by Morgan Hart.
Receive an unpublished chapter from my memoir–dishy dyke drama, misunderstood fat politics and a lot of awkward in this piece. It’s a gritting teeth kind of chapter but also pretty powerful.
It’s very important that this prize is at the $69 level. 30 minute Tarot reading or life advice from Miss Jacqueline Mary. Redeemable via Skype or in person in NYC!
KCMO beer love package
2 bottles of Boulevard Bourbon Barrel quad (2013 and 2011). 2 bomber bottles from the smokestack series if your choice.
And a t-shirt or hat of your choice. Donated by a hot butch from Kansas City, MO, Jen!
Lap(top) dance by Drae Campbell! Drae Campbell, butchlesque artist & comedian, will perform a laptop dance via Skype for you! Up to ten minutes. She’s hot as shit!
Lap(top) dance by Miss Mary Wanna! Miss Mary Wanna will perform a private laptop dance via skype for you! Up to ten minutes of Southern shimmy! (Also redeemable in person.) We originally conceived this as a lapdance but it was definitely funnier if it was a laptop dance.
Photo by Patience Owens.
All the things! Both tote bags, fat unicorn bandanna and poster from earlier prize levels!
Branding consulting! Marico Fayre offers marketing/branding consultation via skype! Up to 30 minutes of consultation with a professional who can take you from zero to hero! She seriously does this for a living and is incredible at it! Great for a small or big business!
Life advice from ME! I give lots of advice on my blog but now I can tailor it directly to you one on one via skype which I will be able to use once I have a new computer! 30 minutes of life advice coaching via skype or phone with Bevin Branlandingham. Legal advice, self-advocacy, love your body, shopping, dating, self-esteem, etc… Whatever! I’m yours for a half hour!
Stay for a week in a guest room (usually rented via Air B&B) with my friends Suzanne and Jen! They are two American queer women living in Mexico City and love football, happy hour and having a good time. Going to visit them in MC is totally on my own personal wish list and here you have the chance to slip in there! They need four weeks notice to make sure the times match-up so don’t book your flight until you talk to them!
I will put you on the VIP list to all of my events for the rest of your lifetime. Who knows where the universe will take me? This could be worth millions! Anytime you want to go to one of my events you just let me know and I will list you! What if I get to be a guest on Ellen someday? How about when I make it big and host the Oscars? You’re THERE! You’ll also get a signed copy of all of my books when they come out. Anyone I’ve ever dated can tell you I know how to make someone feel VIP!
Thank you to my friends who have donated their time and services to this endeavor. And thank you, dear readers, for being on this journey with me. I’m super grateful to do this work and I really can’t wait for that work to be done easier on equipment and wordpress that’s not all buggy.