Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2017-11-24

Shop for the Holidays and Smash the Patriarchy (Getting the Deals, Too)

You need to shop for the holidays and you want to dismantle the patriarchy? Me, too! Supporting small businesses owned by women, queers, people of color and other minorities warms the cockles of my heart. Since my wealth is more in influence than it is in bucks for the time being, one of my favorite holiday blog traditions is my gift guide!

This is what I look like when I blog for the holidays. I’m rocking one of my All Bodies are Worthy of Love stickers 1.0 on my laptop and my Stitch Prism necklace of pyrite and blue kyanite.

On Cyber Monday at Noon Pacific time I’m going live on the Plus Bus facebook page. The Plus Bus is a local plus size resale store here in Northeast LA and I’m stoked to get to bring resale plus size clothing to people all over the world who don’t have a plus size resale store nearby. As a bonus I get to help bolster this plus size women owned store and hone my skills as a QVC hostess by curating a great inventory and featuring indie plus designer Proud Mary Fashion. Like the Plus Bus Boutique Facebook page and turn on notifications for live videos so you get reminded!

I love this All Genders are Valid Tee shirt (sized to 2X) from Genuine Valentine. I also love the To Be An Ally is to Show Basic Human Decency shirt (XS to 4X) and the Making My Own Path onesie (to 24 Months)!! (Pssst… I’m collaborating with the designer on a line of Fat Kid Dance Party tee shirts! Stay tuned for those!)

All weekend long use code “PARADOX” for 25% off orders over $60!

If people you know love their pets the way I love mine, these wood pet portraits are exactly the right gift. Rufus Reineck of The Pop Box sent me the cutest paintings of Macy and Biscuit Reynolds shelacked on wood. I cannot express the leaps my heart made when I got this gift from a self proclaimed “big gay family” who are fans of Biscuit and Macy on Instagram! Macy is pink glitter! It looks amazing on the wall and the colors are both true to our pets and make them seem like pop art. I’m obsessed. Get the custom dog portrait here or the custom cat portrait here. P.S. Someone go snag this amazing pop art of Prince before it goes.

Sometimes you just wanna craft for people. For three bucks you can get a PDF pattern for a pretty simple Feminist Killjoy pattern or for seven bucks you can get Nevertheless She Persisted (I would totally do this for a pillow). All I Want For Christmas is a Functioning Democracy is a fav if you don’t have time to cross stitch yourself. Check out the whole inventory of Caustic Cross Stitch.

Leather Coven is your go-to for body affirming leather harnesses and the leather cage skirt I’m forever obsessed with. The Priestess collar is a great smash the patriarchy gift at $27. I have a piece from there I bought during a cyber Monday sale a couple of years ago and it fits perfectly because it was made to measure. The handmade leather ornaments are so beautiful and are the perfect hostess gift for the leather femme in your life or someone who loves modern design. So beautiful and on trend!

Monday only get 15% off with code CYBERANGEL!

I met Scarlett River of Dirty Lola through Dollypalooza when she donated to our fundraising auction for the Imagination Library. (Stay tuned here for a worldwide online holiday raffle to benefit Dolly’s Imagination Library chapter in Belize–the raffle pull is December 16th!) She makes some beautiful fan art–Dolly prints, Prince candles, and darling vintage pussy plates. But apropos for this gift guide is her Smash the Patriarchy print–only $18!

On Monday 11/27 use code DIRTYMONDAY for a deal!

Stitch Prism is one of my favorite jewelry merchants. I have a couple of pieces and absolutely love them and use them in my crystal practice. This Saturn Return necklace is perfect for the 27ish human in your life who is going through it with the taskmaster in the sky, Saturn. I love the double triangle with agate, as well, or you could customize a piece with a type of crystal that speaks to what your pal is going through!

20% off Stitch Prism until Monday 11/27, automatically applied on Etsy!

Joshica Beauty is a Black-owned natural small batch beauty supply line. This Beard Maintenance gift set is under $20 and the beard oil is a five star rated product! This is a great gift for someone who is very excited about their beard. I know a few very beard-identified people who this would be perfect for!

I met the Gay Pin Guys at A Bear Named Troy‘s brunch event at The Plus Bus. They gave me their Spill the Tea pin and I adore it and featured in my Facebook Live video about how to brew Matcha, the cancer fighting delicious elixer. The Rainbow Resist Pin is a great gift for the militant lesbians, radical queers and PFLAG Moms in your life. The You’ve Got This pin is such a charming way of encouraging someone.

Don’t forget the queer/women/POC healers, massage therapists, tarot readers, mediums, astrologers, and other small business hustlers in your life. If someone you know is going through a rough time, a trip to a healer they usually only see when they have cash flow is a really nice thing to crowd fund for. I got a great medium reading as a crowd fund birthday present one year and it is still a treasured experience.

If you want to buy your 5778 Hannukah candles with a portion of proceeds going to domestic racial justice projects (I am not sure anyone else who makes Hannukah candles can say that), head over to Jonah at Narrow Bridge Candles. I have watched their chandelery in action many years ago and it is a truly beautiful and sacred process. It’s more impactful and intentional than buying your candles from Rite Aid. The North Bay fires (where Jonah’s chandlery and herbal apothecary are located) have affected their sales of the candles this year and they are still available! First Night of Hanukkah is December 12th 2017 / 24 Kislev, so get those orders in ASAP.

My friend Sabine Maxine of A Tribe Called Queer is the curator and designer behind Patty Wack Vintage (some plus vintage available). Sabine is offering 20% off through 11/30 and her shop is worth the look for the photography alone. This sale alone is a great excuse to treat yourself to something cute and new for the holidays!

I watched a lot of Muppet Christmas movies while writing this post and my favorite joke was: Did you hear about the church that burned down? Holy smoke! (Insert Statler and Waldorf Laughing.) Please make no mistake I love churches, of course, and I really love puns.

Do you have a small business you want to plug? I’m looking for brands who want to partner for a giant unboxing party in mid-December. Email me at queerfatfemme at gmail to be included!

When you love yourself, ​everything gets easier. Join me LIVE on Facebook everyday to learn how to love yourself more.

2015-11-30

Queer and Indie Holiday Gift Guide!

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It’s Cyber Monday again (I kind of still hate that it’s a thing now but it’s a thing now). I believe in putting a dam in Capitalism wherever possible. If I have some wealth, I am going to redirect it to prioritize helping the lives of small businesses, especially those run by queers and POC. I don’t want my gift money going to increase some bottom line on the New York Stock Exchange.

I figure if you’re going to participate in gift giving, I’m super into connecting people to small businesses. I’m also into giving people good gift ideas because I love to shop. I have some ideas for literally anyone on your list.

My holiday gift guide this year is not compensated–I included small businesses owned by folks I know and indie businesses suggested by my followers who commented on my instagram and facebook posts asking for their favorites. Every now and again a proprietor sends me a sample of something or a discount. Many thanks to my friends Lexi and Jamison who helped me come up with some of these ideas, too!

My astrologer once told me that money is energy in 3D form and I totally believe in being mindful about putting your energy out there, especially when you’re doing holiday shopping. So here is a big list of possible holiday gifts for all kinds of folks on your list, enjoy!

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Jewelry & Adornments

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I am so into Stitch Prism Jewelry this year. Handmade by KellyAnne Mifflin, the jewelry is aesthetically gorgeous woo. Maybe you just want something pretty, I love the designs so much! Maybe you want something energetically supportive–it is so powerful to wear crystals on your body. I bought a necklace at their booth at a craft fair after asking which stones I needed have hovering over my heart while traveling.
KellyAnne makes custom work, custom chain sizes, too. I have a custom Capricorn necklace with additional stones that I love. They are also great about “Hey I have this piece from you and need the chain reworked” so if you’re nervous about chain length for your gift recipient you can always get it amended. Also consider a gift card for a custom piece!

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Leather Coven! I bought the above-pictured Medusa harness from them after my holiday gift guide last year and it fits so well! Seriously, getting a custom, hand made piece of art is such a marvelous experience. Mateo is a leatherworking genius and I love their stuff! You can style it in lots of ways–wear it over your clothes for a baller accessory, wear it over an undergarment to amplify sexy, and if you want to really go for deep sexy wear nothing under it!

For a simpler style I love the Sebastian Harness for only $41.40 (pictured above, modeled by Mateo) and I am deeply coveting the new Elektra crop top that just came out this Fall. They take Etsy gift cards if you are unsure of the measurements of your loved ones. If you’re ready for their Cyber Monday deal, for today only CYBERME20 for 20% off!

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I love Chubby Cartwheels so much. (This is the brand behind my beloved Diet Industry Dropout crop top.) I think it can be hard to buy other people clothes, but as a Fat Femme, I love when my lovers buy me great lingerie. How about these Chubby Cartwheels All Around Mesh Undies? I feel like they work well for folks who love lingerie and folks who just love to be comfy. Both sexy and cozy. (I would count this as loungerie.) At $18 and sizes 1X-5X I think it’s a great choice. If you don’t know your sweetie’s size, go check out their underwear drawer, find a couple pairs you know they enjoy and scope the size tag! And if you’re really unsure, email Shawna, the babe behind the brand, and say “It’s a Torrid 2X, what size is that for your garments?” A lot of fat femmes know what a Torrid 2X fits like and can translate.

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Speaking of fab fatties, I also gotta shout out Rachel Cupcake’s Re/Dress. Every time I’ve bought online it comes really fast. They have all these AMAZING microfiber bright print leggings for $28. If you’re shopping for a babe who is size 14-26, the leggings fit that whole size range so you can’t go wrong. I love a bold print legging, it goes with my easy tunic tops and I don’t have to think about how to really wear an outfit. Also, it puts me in touch with my inner Peg Bundy.

Collartips

Dapper and Swag’s Livery and Adornments has some very fabulous Collar Tips. My well-dressed dapper friend Lexi says Collar Tips are her new favorite accessory. Dapper and Swag has this great Nautical themed collar tip for only $15! I also love the stag antler ones.

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Project TransAction (in their words) is an eco-conscious, artist driven, independent leatherwork and screen printing company in Boston, MA. We use only top quality American cowhide and source our hardware from small – often family owned and operated – US companies. All of the inks, dyes, and finishes that we use on our leather are water based, and our screen cleaning products are biodegradable. All of our work is 100% Quality and Satisfaction Guaranteed. We aren’t satisfied until you are. Right now I’m obsessed with how good leather suspenders look and really want a pair for Dara. Their base price is $85 for leather suspenders and they have so much great leather to choose from. This is another item to order custom sized. If you want to go pricier these Distressed Brown Leather Suspenders (swoon) are $150.

It can be so hard to find a belt that fits for a larger or smaller than average person! Project Transaction also sell really cute custom belts like this Gears and Cogs belt for the nerd in your life. Find Project Transaction on Facebook and Instagram! Get 15% off with Promo Code WINTER and free holiday shipping!

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Kelly Horrigan Handmade makes such great earrings, shoulder bling, necklaces, wall hangings, etc… From Kelly: At least 75% of the leather used at KHH | KELLY HORRIGAN HANDMADE is repurposed from high quality scrap leather. We strive to make sustainable choices whenever possible. I love the Diamond Teal Peacock earrings so much. This Python Necklace is so baller. Kelly makes a lot of things in hot pink and I am very into bright leather. Receive 15% off when you use code HANDMADE at checkout.

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Wild Fancy Design has some of the coolest jewelry for your favorite witch, feminist or queer. The Dandy Unicorn collar tip shown above is $33. Yes Homo necklace is $25. Or how about flagging with a Switch pin for $16? With code DARKSKIES you can get 15% off through December 31st!

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Deliciousness & Potions

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Do you know a tea lover? The Plum Deluxe folks have an amazing tea of the month club with a hand-blended seasonal tea exclusive for their tea of the month members. They sent me a sampler of their tea to check it out for my Lesbian Tea Basket series and I’m prepping a video about all that. I looooved the seasonal sample they sent from an autumn monthly delivery. In fact, my dog groomer Sequinette came over and asked for a “seasonal” tea and boy was I a proud lesbian busting out my tea of the month for the moment. (And it was delicious!) You should definitely consider the gift of a tea of the month! They do the gift subscriptions in 3, 6 and 12 month increments, either one tea at a time ($10 per month) or two teas at a time ($16 per month). As a tea lover who loves to sample new tea, I would be super into this gift.

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(Hint hint if any of my loved ones are reading this and want to buy me this tea of the month club gift please go for it, email address is queerfatfemme@gmail.com I will update them with my address as I make my way cross country.)

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Gemly and Fern is the potion arm of Stitch Prism, which is really great. Such great potions to choose from if you have a loved one going through it: Deep Self Love, Heal Through This, and Mercury Retrograde Support Potion.

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As someone who has food sensitivities I have learned to rely heavily on my cooking skills. I have definitely leveled up my cooking game and doing so, relying on high quality great spices. I’ve also learned that high quality delicious salt can transform any vegetable. (I have more than five types of salt right now and I feel really great about it.) My friend Lexi suggested Penzey’s, a local spice shop located in Boston and Missouri, for cute gift ideas for literally anyone who cooks. The Sunny Paris seasoning, is salt free. It is pricey but it is definitely because of the dried shallots inside. Lexi shared it with me and it smells delicious. And for $10 for 1/2 cup it will help jazz up pretty much anything. Jamison and I used the Buttermilk Ranch spice mix on chicken the last time I visited their home and it was out of this world. The Sandwich Sprinkle is also recommended from the Lexi/Jamison household. They also have gift cards and gift boxes, and all the salts.

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Kids & Pets

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Queer kid’s coloring books! Jacinta Bunnell has a whole line of them for the gaybies and small children in your life! The Big Gay Alphabet Coloring Book is only $12.95 Sixty-four page coloring book illustrating twenty-six words that highlight memorable victories and collective moments in LGBTQP (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, and Pansexual) culture. Sometimes the Spoon Runs Away With Another Spoon Coloring Book is only $10. There are lots more, check out the store!

dumplin

If you know a high school or middle school-aged person consider the gift of this amazing young adult book I just finished, Dumplin. I definitely plan to write up a full review on my blog but until I get to it (I will be done moving in 3 weeks, maybe then I will finish my backlog of blog endeavors!) you should know it is a heartwarming tale of a fat but mostly okay with it girl and her coming of age. She lives in a tiny town in Texas and loves Dolly Parton. There’s teenage (hetero)sexuality in it. It was such a great book I had a hard time putting it down.

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Ruff Haus is the pet collar arm of ProjectTransAction and I love their gorgeous work–the prints are so unusual! I especially love the circus horses and polka dot design.

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For cats, I have an unusual present that’s pretty cheap. I follow a really cute flat faced cat named Kyle on instagram. Kyle has a big online presence and because his adoption origin story involves his previous mom being killed by domestic violence, his new parents use his online swag to raise money for a pet friendly domestic violence shelter in NYC. This tickle pickle is only $4, stuffed with catnip and I’ve seen many famous instagram cats playing with it so I know it’s a hit among the feline sector. What an amazing win-win, a great stocking stuffer and a donation to benefit a pet friendly DV shelter!

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Books & Prints

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Glitter & Grit – Queer art anthology

My writing is featured in a new anthology that is coming out on a limited edition pre-sale run! Glitter and Grit: Queer Performance from the Heels on Wheels Femme Galaxy features writing and art by over 60 queer artists, all of whom have worked with Heels on Wheels — the notorious all-femme, DIY touring & community art troupe. (I wrote about my experience touring with Heels on Wheels in this blog post.) To fund this printing, this anthology is on pre-sale Nov 30-Dec 14, only at this link. First 30 books sold @ 20% off – $20 + shipping, next 100 books sold @ 10% off – $23 + shipping. Note that you can select express shipping and get it in time to gift, if you want! This is the kind of thing you’ll want to give other people and you’ll want to give to yourself. STOCKING STUFFER MAGIC for the Femmes and Queers of all genders in your life!

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Charlotte Cooper has a new book coming out! Maybe you want to pre-order it and give a card to your friend/relative/partner who needs or wants something like this? In Charlotte’s words: Fat Activism: A Radical Social Movement is going to be published on 4 January 2016. I picked this date because it is the beginning of the new year weight loss season and the first day back to work for people who have to hustle for a living. I thought that this would be when readers would need something really encouraging about hope and social change at this bleak time of year. Also definitely don’t miss the cute holiday video starring Charlotte!

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For someone who needs a little more of a body love 101 ride, and someone to walk them through the process of loving your body like a friend I am reading and loving Jes Baker of the Militant Baker‘s Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls. I’m also quoted in it! (What a total honor!!!) That photo above is me and Jes Baker at the book launch in NYC!

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I went to a craft show this weekend and I barely looked at the letterpress booths because I love Panorama Press so much! Queer owned and operated, Madeline makes such amazing beautiful creations. Tons of cards, the amazing California Poppy print above I love so much, and occasionally jewelry. And Don We Now Our Gay Apparel for only $5 is the BEST gay holiday card.

Other Things!


I have had this Ring Thing on my phone for the past year and it’s frickin’ amazing. Here’s the blurb from Zachary, Dara’s friend who runs it and its awesome charitable arm. Never drop your phone again! Ring Thing allows for a comfortable, safe & secure grip for any smart device. Ring Thing can be used for a verticle or horizontal kickstand and rotates 360 degrees & swivels 180 degrees. New phone, new case, no problem, Ring Thing can be peeled off and reused over 100 times!** So if you’re looking to take the perfect selfie or watch a video with ease and comfort, you need a Ring Thing!

This holiday season, you can support Schools That Can (STC) and get your stocking-stuffing-shopping done. Enter the “SchoolsThatCan” coupon and $9 for each RingThing purchase will be donated to STC, helping them provide quality programming, partnerships, and thought leadership to their schools. To learn more about STC and Ring Thing, visit www.GoodForMeLifestyle.com/Fundraising

P.S. Watch a holiday video starring me, Dara and Macy on you tube from the Schools that Can/Ring Thing mash-up last year!

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And I always want to shout out my friend Mackenzi’s great store Lockwood! She has three locations now, one in Astoria, one in Jackson Heights and a clothing store in Astoria that carries sizes 0-24. If you’re a NYC local go shop in her store, I can literally buy all of my presents for everyone there, she curates epically. The webstore has only a fraction of her inventory, but online I love the plates with cute sayings on them, like these for $24.95. Watching Mackenzi work so hard and actualize her dreams is very inspirational for me. Her store has really bloomed over the past 7 years of our friendship!!

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