Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2013-07-10

Flower Bois, Summer Trend in Butch Fashion

Nicky pointed out to me at the last WHAM BAM! that floral prints are all the rage in the queer scene–especially for the masculine of center crowd. “Flower bois,” they said (pronounced “bwah” here). “They’re everywhere.”

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DJ Average Jo at WHAM BAM! The next WHAM BAM is July 14th (the last one until Labor Day). Photo by Kelsy Chauvin.

They were right. I’ve been seeing it everywhere. Florals are all over menswear. I love it, especially because it’s a little gender bendy. It’s the same reason I love pink on butches–it’s one of my favorite colors and I like butches. Together, it is pleasing. I love a bold floral print and I love seeing it on my fashionable friends.

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I was really feeling the floral blazer on the queer to the far right in this photo. Photo by Kelsy Chauvin.

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Alex, one of the most fashionable men I know, to the left in floral and Leo, who overheard the discussion of flower bois, wearing a floral tie to the right. All at Nicky’s fortieth birthday. Also pictured, Randee Riot and Utah.

Florals are “on trend” this year so they are widely available, which kind of explains why we’re seeing so much of it in the queer circles but, still, it takes something pretty rad to tip like this in the queer community. So, because I love masculine of center florals, I present a shopping round-up to encourage more!

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Grey Geometric Mixed Floral Print shirt from Topman is a floral masterpiece. Goes from XXS-XXL but not sure how roomy of an XXL they offer.

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This rust floral bowtie from Fox and Brie is a great way to add a floral without going overboard if you’re hesitant to go full-print.

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Or if you want to be all hipster about it, try a floral snapback cap! But be sure to wear it hipster style, sort of popping up off your head like you’re an old-timey 1950s child.

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Wear your hat like this for full effect. (I actually really like this style of cap wearing.) Photo by Kelsy Chauvin.

It’s important to note the difference between cheese ball Hawaiin shirt and florals that are pushing the line of loud without going over. I am all for the cheese ball print if that’s your style but you have to know how to pull that off so that it looks stylish on purpose and not the shirt equivalent of socks with sandals.

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This Brooksfield short sleeve floral is a nice version of the classic loud shirt in pastel colors.

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This Tallia Woven Floral Shirt is long sleeved and has a nice tight floral pattern. Goes all the way up to 5XLT at Macy’s!

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And a bold floral in a black and white graphic tee (size S-L, $28) for those who are a little shy about adding color. I think this is the Avory Agony* response to the floral trend.

I had a hard time finding budget-friendly florals on trend but since summer is already heated up look for sales racks and clearance items, and know all these florals will hit the Marshall’s/TJ Maxx/Ross circuit in the next few months. Also vintage is full of florals, so that gives one something to hunt around for and are definitely more of a bargain if you know how to cull a thrift store (or etsy or ebay).

*Avory is a stylish dear friend who wears predominantly black and white. Like if the dreamiest Robert Smith clone in your high school grew up to have impeccable fashion taste but maintained their goth kid roots.

2012-12-20

How to Stuff a Butch Stocking

After yesterday’s post on How to Stuff a Femme’s Stocking I was asked to draft the complimentary post for stuffing a Butch’s stocking. I enlisted the help of a couple of Butch pals of mine, Jenn and Shelly, and with their input have created the following.

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Jenn and Shelly, both Farm Butch identified. Photo credit: Cordelia.

My friend Shirley weighed in on some ideas for the city butch.

Rebel Cupcake. Shirley. #yesmaam
Shirley is a very accessorized New Yorker and a Taylor Swift fan.

Just as in the case of the Femme stocking, I subscribe to the umbrella gender term for Butch, meaning anyone who is self-identified and masculine of center, and Butch can mean lots of things to lots of people. There are as many ways to be Butch as there are Butches. Look through this list and see what resonates about the Butch whose stocking you are stuffing (heh) and good luck!

My friend Miss Mary Wanna had this to say about getting the wrong gifts. “The flip side is the ache of getting something so wrong from someone otherwise so right, it can be a little ‘Do you KNOW me?’ at times.” So, again, pay attention to the person you’re gifting to!

Accessories!

Someone was asking about my type awhile ago and I somehow got on this long tangent about accessories. “I mean, it’s all about proper brooch placement, you know?” And if you’ve never seen a Butch rock a brooch you don’t hang out with enough gender magicians. In addition to brooches, there are so many incredible accessories that contribute to a fabulous butch aesthetic.

Belts are great, especially if you know the waist size (or can sneak a peak into the waist size of their jeans and figure it out). You can go low-cost at a big box store or fancy fancy at a department store or somewhere in between at Ross. Belts make a good cracking sound. (True story, I keep a men’s leather belt that doesn’t fit me in my sex toy picnic basket because of the satisfying noise it makes.) Belts make a good clinkity clinkity noise when they come off. Maybe I should have put belts in the sexy times category.

Belt buckles are also awesome, including antique or vintage belt buckles. You could definitely pop into a Western Wear store to get one of those (they typically have a huge selection), or a well-curated vintage store with a men’s selection will have some baller (but probably pricey) belt buckles. Clinkity clinkity.

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Cuff links are a great accessory I love that are perfect stocking size and come in a wide range of prices, like these custom latitude/longitude cuff links for $22. You can also craft cuff links pretty easily with a quick stop at a craft store to get the cuff link blanks plus some craft glue plus notions. Like dice, coins, buttons or whatever. DIY cuff link tutorial here for $3 each pair.

Hankies! One of my favorite accessories, I think hankies could be a lot of things. Number one, hankies are great at filling up the stocking for girth (size is important), but also they can be a secret code. Like, go to the sporting goods store and buy all the colors of hankies you want the Butch to flag for you. This is again where accessories meets sex toys but whatever. It’s a hot idea. Or you could monogram some yourself. A slick hanky set with a nice monogram is nice and I think you can totally get those at Target.

A nice wallet! I would suggest paying close attention to what kind of wallet they carry, noting whether they are happy with it and how they would react to change. Some people are really picky about their wallet. But, then again, I had a date who rocked this incredible french fry wallet that I’m sure I could have given a cool whimsical other type of wallet.

Shirley suggests a ‘Chrome’ seat belt buckle key chain because “That little click is so satisfying.” Shirley likes a good click, too. Also, at $25 it’s a really cool urban take on the caribiner keychain on the belt loop situation.

A zippo lighter is a great idea for a smoker, or someone who just likes to be prepared to be chivalrous (this is the only reason I carry a lighter).

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Miss Mary Wanna holding Macy.

Tools

Some Butches are into tools! And there are so many kinds of tools. Like knives! A good pocket knife is both a great accessory, sexy as hell, and super useful! Jenn noted to me once she saw a swiss army knife, nail clipper and file that she was drooling over. Also, it could be the kind of knife that is big and goes in the sock or whatever. I don’t know a lot about knives, but I bet you could get a great one at Cabelas if there is one near you.

Also, you could swing by Sears and buy a tool that they have been looking for. Like a wrench? I don’t know, pay attention! But tools totally fit well in stockings. I got a pink toolkit once that was a really great gift that I still use!

Whiskey stones are an important tool for any whiskey drinker! Mackenzi’s store sells them in Queens (and online).

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Christmas at the Haus of Femmespiration.

Clothing

Ties are great. I love ties, both bowties and regular ties. They’re easy to get cheap or expensive and you could easily do a color aesthetic in your stocking by coordinating all of the accessories in the same color scheme.

Boxer briefs (“Butches like getting sexy underthings, too,” says Shelly) or whatever their underwear of choice is. I have always liked getting Calvin Klein underwear for girlfriends and you can get a great deal on them at Ross.

Socks! I have to say, a recent shopping issue I had was trying to find teenage boy size socks for someone on the masculine spectrum. I could only find boring socks in that size. I love to give a wacky sock as a gift and they seem to make wacky socks in just the traditional sock style. But socks are a holiday stocking staple, and I encourage their purchase. Mackenzi’s store also has these amazing hops socks for beer lovers and a bunch of other cute socks. Smart wool socks were also shouted out by the farm Butches. (But anyone in a winter climate should appreciate these friends to warm feet everywhere.)

Longjohns/Longjanes! What a cute thing to stuff in a stocking (that will do well to fill it up, too). These boys’ longjohns would be SO ADORABLE on a hot smaller Butch.

For NYC folks I HIGHLY suggest a walk down what I call “Dapper Alley” in NYC which is Orchard Street between I think Rivington and the next block North. It’s all sorts of suit stores but they have great ties and other accessories for not a lot of dough.

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Hygiene

A vintage shaving cup and brush is a cute idea if the Butch does any kind of shaving.

“A good beeswax pomade to keep that pomp looking tight,” says Shirley. There’s a great queer pompadour tumblr with reviews of lots of pomades. I would say peep the medicine chest and see what they use because probably they are particular about what they use. Or get them a bunch of samples of different pomades at a hair salon so they can try different ones out!

Chapstick. (If they use chapstick.)

Toys

I was recently told by a Butch who was disappointed one of her favorite toys had broken, “Basically we like a lot of the same things little boys like.” Which I find to be true about me with little girls’ things. I have a cherished cupcake backpack that was clearly made for 10 year old girls AND ME.

So take a trip down the toy aisle of Target or wherever and see what speaks to you. Tiny robots, legos, cute things that match their interest. If they are farm dyke identified maybe they want a baby John Deere tractor or something. You should know whether they are John Deere identified or if they like the other kinds of tractors. I know enough about farm dykes to know that there are STRONG tractor preferences. You’ll know whether it’s green/yellow, red or orange. (Did I impress you that I knew that, Jenn?)

Homemade/Sentimental

It was suggested by a couple of the committee members that a photo was a cute stocking stuffer. Like a framed photo of the person stuffing the stocking (I still have a framed photo of my ex fiance he gave me our first Christmas in that box where relics of my past live). Or, Shirley suggests putting an image on the back of a vintage King of Hearts card. Aww!

Also, another good city Butch idea is a homemade list of places you like. I could probably write a deeply annotated Top 10 Fried Chicken Restaurants in NYC, a Top 10 Pizza Places in NYC list, a list of all the best restaurants to visit in a bunch of major US cities. A list of dive bars in your city so the person can take you there on dates is also good.

Tiny notebooks are great stocking stuffers, especially with an inscribed note on the inside or maybe a decoupaged cover!

How about making the nerd in your life a set of Star Wars snowflakes? Link to a free pattern is here.

Books!

I can’t believe I neglected to suggest books for Femmes! Goes both ways! Paperbacks are PERFECT stocking size. I love taking a stroll through a used book store and getting something that really speaks to me about the person’s interests. Jenn suggested this book Farmer Jane! Don’t forget to inscribe it!

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Sexy Times

You could totally do exactly what I recommended in my Femme post for a Butch you’re doing it with but here are some specifics from a Butch desire point of view.

Non-lubricated, flavored condoms that the giftgiver (if it’s a lover, natch, and assuming this is a cock-identified Butch) applies to the Butch’s cock using their mouth only. A nubbly, clit-bumping silicone cock ring.

A P-style.

A hand-written coupon for permission to photograph or film the giftgiver giving the Butch a blowjob or any other intimate act.

For the stocking itself, I suggest getting a vintage boot or something to stuff! How cute would that be?

Okay, y’all! I hope this stocking stuffer list is going to help you give or get what you want for the upcoming stocking holiday (Gaywitchmas is totally a stocking holiday)! If you use any of the ideas from either post let me know how it goes! I love personal shopping!

Also, if anyone out there is still trying to buy me a present for Christmas or my impending birthday, I totally want a twilight turtle.

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