Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2011-10-16

Introducing Gay Sex Week and Some Everyday Glitter

Hi friends! Life has been steady rolling lately. I am trying to lean into the big changes in my life as best as I can. Working with a lot of fear and scarcity stuff but being gentle, really really gentle with myself. Self-care is my dreamy boyfriend right now. My steady, number one priority. This is a moment by moment choice and requires an awful lot of checking in with myself, honesty and sweetness.

The great part of doing all this self-care is that I am able to really enjoy life. I’ve been up to fun things!

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Poppies! Morgan made these for Rebel Cupcake. Possibly the best cupcakes I’ve ever had.

ITEM THE FIRST: Next week is GAY SEX WEEK at QueerFatFemme.com. I’ve been working on a bunch of blog posts about queer sex and sexuality. I read this article about the status of LGBT movement in the media by Cathy Renna at Huffington Post that was a call to action, essentially, to queer up the voices of the LGBT movement. (In my opinion the whole essence of Queer is that it’s anything but simple.)

[I]f our movement were braver and more open about what actually sets us apart from the rest of the world (they call is sexual orientation for a reason, right?), it would seem more genuine and honest. Talking about sexuality without talking about sex in an honest and appropriate manner often seems to be the order of the day, and it seems like a flawed long-term solution to talking about ourselves. I think it ties in to the age-old debate over whether to argue that we are “just like everyone else” or that we are “more alike than we are different.”

The “LGBT Movement” in the media is missing hella representation by really important aspects of our communities. This is just a couple examples of a billion, but other than Beth Ditto can you think of one Queer Fat Femme in the media? Or how about one Transman of color in the media?

So, get ready for lots of GAY SEX for NATIONAL QUEERFATFEMME.COM GAY SEX WEEK which also will include participation in National Fisting Day [this link is clearly NSFW] on October 21.

I hope it helps “queer up the movement in the media” and I also hope it helps some folks who are critically underbanged at this time to shake the dust off their sex lives.

ITEM THE SECOND: I gave my workshop “Love for EveryBODY” at NYU for their Pride Week on Wednesday. It was so awesome! I love giving that workshop and teaching self love and body liberation. Often when I teach I learn stuff, too, and this was no exception. What a great, heartwarming group!!

ITEM THE THIRD: Rebel Cupcake was on Thursday and the Wizard of Oz theme brought my friend Drae Campbell (the reigning Miss Rebel Cupcake and Miss Lez) out to do some butchlesque. The character was the Dandy Lion, a cowardly lion take-off, using the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight and just thinking about that act makes me smile. I love it when performers take a Rebel Cupcake theme and run with it to create something amazing. I also hope I can get this act on video!

Dandy Lion
Dandy Lion!

ITEM THE FOURTH: I went out last weekend to Hey Queen. I love that party. I got dressed up in this duster, which is as seen on Blanche on an episode of Golden Girls. I made a headpiece from scratch. I took lots of pictures, danced like crazy and chatted a bunch. It’s nice sometimes to just get to take a break from big stressors and shake it loose.

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I am go-going at next month’s Hey Queen! November 19th at Public Assembly. I’ll post all the details on my calendar page, but save the date! I hardly ever go-go dance. I’ve been promised a glitter cannon.

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Miss Mary Wanna is my co-go-go.

ITEM THE FIFTH: My friend Kelli Dunham just started a new online project called Grief Sucks. Because it does.

Kelli performed at Rebel Cupcake on Thursday and it’s incredible knowing someone for ten years and watching them evolve as a human and a performer. She also told a sex story about me (Kelli and I never had sex with each other but we did have sex near each other once) on stage, which I suppose is a great inauguration for NATIONAL QUEERFATFEMME.COM GAY SEX WEEK.

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Vintage me and Kelli from 2006.

Solicited Advice: Fat Girls In Your Bed/Fat Girls on Your Arm

I love giving solicited advice. I borrowed an advice request from Taueret (AfroTitty over on the Tumblrzzzz) and gave the following advice.

Dear AfroTitty:

hi you ARE sexy but i also have a real question for your queer bodypositive self. i’m talking to this girl who is cute and awesome and also fat, which i think is hot. what do i say when she says she says she’s fat in a sad way? like we just met so i think it’d be creepy to be like hell yeah girl and it’s awesome but also it feels wrong to say no you’re not when i LIKE that about her and there’s nothing wrong with it! help me be sensitive i have no people skills

sundubu

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AfroTitty at Hey Queen.

*Note from Afrotitty: I got this question a couple days ago and my brain has been a little occupied with navigating the new addition to my personal pronoun roster, so I decided to pass it on my fat comrade, Bevin [QueerFatFemme.com] who is also an expert on getting fat girls into your bed/arms*

Dear sundubu:

Thank you so much for your compliment about Afrotitty. She IS sexy.

I am Afrotitty’s friend and co-worker at Re/Dress NYC and I am also a queer body positive identified person. Congratulations on talking to an awesome cute fat girl! The thrill of someone new and rad is really among one of life’s best feelings.

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Door queens at Hey Queen! Hana on the right looking ferocious!

Also, go you for coming from a body positive and fat positive space! Fat is awesome! Fat is also a loaded word with a lot of stigma around it that many people do not find empowering. When I say “Hi Fat friend!” to my pals they know I am saying Fat in a way that celebrates and takes back that word. Body empowerment is special and bonding and I find this like the verbal equivalent to a loving belly bump greeting.

I had a really interesting wake-up call recently when my new girlfriend said “You’re not Fat!” to me when I was talking about my fat. I was like “Uh, yes I am. This is my identity and a big part of my politics.” She has dated lots of Fat Femmes but not a Fat Femme who loved her body and had body politics. I had to remind myself to have compassion for her in the journey to understanding the body politics I have been working on for over a decade. She loves my body and is very vocal about it, but sometimes it’s odd to see someone have that visceral bad reaction to the words I throw around because I am used to being in my radical fat queer communities.

That said, remember when you thought Fat was a disempowering word and maybe you weren’t okay with it? If you can put yourself in that position it will enable you to have some compassion for the long journey your cute awesome fat crush is only just beginning. That is IF she chooses to begin it. Lots and lots of folks on the fat spectrum learn about body positivity and don’t choose to love themselves. This is really difficult work, loving yourself and your body in a world that is hostile to all bodies. Stay open and compassionate to the fact that she might need to come around and might never come around.

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Nogga and Topher at Hey Queen!

In the meantime, you can gently tell her when she uses the term Fat in a derogatory way or is engaging in body shame (or looks at you in shock when you use the word Fat in a positive way) that you think that ALL bodies are valuable and that Fat is an empowering word that describes your body (or if you are not Fat, describes bodies you find attractive and worthy). Also, it is really helpful for people of all bodies to get compliments.

Also, I want to give you some extra support around learning how to be sensitive in interpersonal relations. It is hard! I am a loud, bold, high intensity person and often I have really flunked at sensitivity. But just *wanting* to be sensitive is a good first step. It’s a lot of work to learn and I am still doing it.

So, anyway, sundubu, I wish you the best of luck with this cute awesome fat girl and I hope you get really well laid.

xoxo,

Bevin

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Me and Princess Tiny and the Meats at Hey Queen.

2011-09-25

I Lust 80s Rock Vests

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Photo by Amos Mac.

My darlings I have a current style obsession. It all started at the beginning of the summer when one of the style blogs I cruise on Tumblr, Miss Amelia Butter (dear lord she’s a babe) started posting about 80s rock vests. She just kept talking rock vest and I was listening.

Me and Leslie
Favorite outfit of Summer 2011, this sun dress and my rock vest. Pictured with Leslie!

What is a rock vest? Well, it’s a vest that goes over any outfit and makes it more bad ass. The basic rock vest is denim and endlessly customizable. I like to wear them about 2-3 sizes too small to give my cleavage its rightful center stage.

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Luckily one popped into Re/Dress and my obsession only grew. I wore it immediately and my co-workers were there in accidental solidarity–three of us wore rock vests and sun dresses on the same day.

Chavon
Chavon has many rock vests. Here she pairs it with tight skirt and vintage undergarments and rock gloves.

Denim rock vests are amazing. However, I love when a rock vest comes in leather or fur. Re/Dress had this incredible White Snake video stylin’ blue tie dye leather studded situation I lamented was a bit too small for me. Whoever bought that rock vest I salute you.

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Glenn Marla has been wearing rock vests for about the entire 8 years I have known him. I love this one he scored during the early years of Re/Dress. Photo by Amos Mac for Original Plumbing Magazine.

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Giving the crazy eye, wearing the grey rock vest, paired with feather earrings and pussy necklace. Together with Mr. Transman 2010 Kit Yan and Miss Heather.

Rock vests are a punk staple. I know a million people who never stopped wearing them. I think Chicago probably has about 68 layers of bling on his rock vests.

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Chicago (a/k/a Princess Tiny and the Meats) to the left in the light denim rock vest. AR Punk as lead singer in the amazing black rock vest. I didn’t get a shot but his rock vest says on the back, over a rainbow flag “These Colors Don’t Run.”

I never thought I was bad ass enough to actually dress bad ass. Is that weird? I mean, objectively I am a bad ass, but I was really interested in appearing to be a “good girl” on the outside growing up and sometimes, even though I can dress pretty slutty, I still forget and think of myself as not bad ass enough to pull something off. So, here I am, wearing rock vests and making pretty much anything I have on (including darling purple maxi dresses) look that much more bad ass.

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Or if not bad ass at least a little bit edgier and dressed down for a jaunt through Central Park.

Next stop is the design element. I’m going to add the Rebel Cupcake logo to one of mine, and I think Gumdrop the Fat Unicorn is going to make an appearance to my grey denim rock vest. Rock vests are a crafter’s dream layer. I wonder if there was ever a Quacker Factory rock vest?

Currently I am rocking various pins based on my mood. “Cause dyke drama,” “Cancer sucks,” “I heart Fat Femmes.” I still have a bunch of old pins with my picture on them from when I was 24. I haven’t felt vain enough to rock my own photo or especially one from 8 years (and many hairstyles) ago but maybe one day it’ll make sense.

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Victoria models Gumdrop the Fat Unicorn bandannas.

On my rock vest wish list: a red rock vest, a black rock vest, and the perfect rock vest fur collar trim to add to one of them. Some sort of not ridiculously awful air brush artist who will actually service my rock vest enhancement needs unlike the jerk at South Beach Fashion in Rehoboth Beach who said, after making me wait 15 minutes, that he wasn’t going to do any custom work.

Oh well, whatever. I am super into rock vests now and thank Amelia for invigorating this addition to my wardrobe!

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P.S. The BABE CITY, BC, CANADA team from Glitterpolitic. To the right is Majestic rocking a leather rock vest from all ends of the gender spectrum and into the stars. I am using this photo as a vague segue to encourage all of you to go read (on the left) Ashley Aron’s amazing post about people assuming she’s pregnant. They are both incredibly bad ass.

2011-08-21

News Items and Mr. Transman Pageant 2011, Sunday, August 28th in Brooklyn

Hi friends! I’m back from the woods and resuming normal life. As best as I can, of course, since it’s hot and it feels like everyone is still out of town.

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Actually, neither life is “normal”. Photo by Miss M from the Femme Parade.

A few housekeeping items and then a showbiz announcement.

*The story of Cougar, Bevin and the Atlantic City Homophobe was published on Autostraddle. Thanks to everyone who commented or talked to me about it. I even had a close friend who was holding hands with a new beau and instructed in his own neighborhood “Just because you people can get married now doesn’t mean you have to flaunt it.” Oh, we’ve got a long way to go.

*Turns out fat people can be healthy! Thanks CBS news!

*Also, the fatosphere is helping people get healthy! That’s awesome!

*I’m super excited about the Fall Season of Rebel Cupcake and put a call out for performers. If you’re interested it’s over on my Tumblr. If you’re planning a trip to NYC, Rebel Cupcake is the second Thursday of the month at Sugarland in Williamsburg.

*New York Queers! Get excited, next weekend, August 28, at 8PM is the Mr. Transman Pageant at the Brooklyn Knitting Factory! Brought to you by Murray Hill, NYC Showbiz Icon, and my pal Trent Brooks!

The pre-show line-up is fabulous, which alone is be enough to drop $15 and devote your Sunday night.

The dreamy Princess Tiny & The Meats. (Did you know that’s fag slang for tiny penis?)
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His words and sweet sweet guitar will melt you. Photo by Nogga Schwartz for Rebel Cupcake.

The awesome Schmekel, a band with a great sound and AMAZING lyrics. (Did you know schmekel is yiddish for tiny penis?)

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Sometimes they pass out guides to the yiddish terms they use in their songs at their college gigs.

Kit Yan, the winner of Mr. Transman 2010. I met Kit through last year’s pageant and he’s now a favorite at Rebel Cupcake and a friend. He’s an incredible slam poet. I can’t wait to see him perform and pass the crown to his successor.

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Kit Yan with Miss Mary Wanna in the Rebel Cupcake photo booth. Photo by Nogga Schwartz (of Schmekel) for Rebel Cupcake.

And speaking of successors! Recall from my bid for Miss LEZ in 2009 that there are many categories in Murray’s pageants:

PLATFORM (I hope they are thinking of catchy ones)
SWIMSUIT (this is nerve wracking–fellas if you get nervous be sure to have a schtick)
INTERVIEW (I hope the judges are thinking of interesting questions)
TALENT (we want to see genuine talent)
EVENING WEAR (I suggest something that glitters)

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Contestant #2 Topher, from his photo on the cover of GO Magazine. Check out the rest of the contestants on this write-up in Velvet Park.

Y’all, this pageant WILL sell out. Buy your tickets now!

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2011-01-18

Art and Soul Tomorrow/Cupcake Cabaret on Friday (as part of Quorum Forum)

Art & Soul on Wednesday!

Hey everyone!

Tomorrow night Glenn Marla and Princess Tiny & The Meats are featured in the artist’s salon at Art & Soul.

CultureFIX is an earnest, comfortable art gallery with a beer/wine bar and really good food. The party has a casual vibe and is great for chatting and meeting new people. If you introduce yourself to me and want to meet new interesting queers I will happily introduce you around.

The salon is from 8:30-9, we listen and dance to soul music, look at art on the wall and have fun until midnight.

See you there!!

P.S. It’s happening again next month on Feb 23, featured artists include World Famous *BOB*.

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Cupcake Cabaret at Quorum Forum on Friday, Jan 21!

I am really excited to be producing this celebration of self-love at this amazing free, community festival of queer magic in the middle of Winter. I’m calling Quorum Forum the Queer Winter Olympics. And thrilled to bring together this awesome line-up of performers. I hope you can make it! If anyone can video tape it please let me know!

Friday, January 21, 2011 * Brooklyn, NY
Quorum Forum & Bevin Branlandingham Present
Cupcake Cabaret
9PM-11PM * FREE (Part of the Quorum Forum Festival of Queer Magic)
Manifesta Loft, 315 Seigel St. (Bushwick) Brooklyn
(L to Morgan Ave.)

Bevin Branlandingham curates a free performance of Cupcake Cabaret, her self-love performance variety show that has been performed in NYC and San Francisco. Cupcake Cabaret celebrates the strength we get from what marks us different in this world. Size, gender, sexuality, class, race, dis/ability, age, religion and all numbers of identities bring the artists in the series a sense of power and esteem. Cupcake Cabaret features comedy, drag, burlesque, spoken word, film, performance art and all manner of genres celebrating the radical act of self-love.

QuORUM FORUM is a ten-day extravaganza of knowledge, skills, and talents for the purpose of creating and supporting sustainable community projects. It includes workshops, discussions, skillshares, performances, and parties. All events are FREE.

Detailed event schedule and descriptions can be found at http://quorumnyc.org/.

Performers include:

Kay Ulanday Barrett
Kay Ulanday Barrett
A CAMPUS PRIDE 2009 Hot List artist, Kay Ulanday Barrett is a poet, performer, educator, and martial artist navigating life as a pin@y-amerikan trans/queer in the U.S. with struggle, resistance, and laughter. Currently based in NY/NJ, with roots in Chicago, K’s work is the perfect mix of gritty city flex and Midwest open sky grounded in homeland soil. In Mango Tribe and in solo work, K. has featured in colleges and stages nationally and internationally; from the NJ Performing Arts Center to Chicago’s Hot House, The Brooklyn Museum to The Loft in Minneapolis, K’s bold work continues to excite and challenge audiences. Honors include: Chicago’s LGBTQ 30 under 30 awards, Finalist for The Gwendolyn Brooks Open-Mic Award, Windy City Times Pride Literary Poetry Prize 2009, and recently, a contribution in the anthology “Kicked Out” released by Homofactus Press in 2009. K. turns art into action, as a dedicated activist who works with LGBTQ youth and adores remixing recipes.

Cheryl B.
Cheryl B
Cheryl B. is an award-winning writer, poet and performer. Her work appears in dozens of print and online publications, including; Ping Pong, Word Warriors: 35 Women Leaders in the Spoken Word Revolution and BLOOM, among many others. As a performer she has appeared at numerous New York City literary evenings and toured the U.S. and the U.K. She is the co-curator/co-host of the monthly NYC reading series Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival, serious literature for ridiculous times. Her website is cherylb.com and she blogs at wtfcancerdiaries.com.

Kit Yan
Kit Yan

Recently Featured in the HBO Documentary Asians Aloud, Kit Yan tell stories through slam poetry from the lens of a transgender Asian American from Hawaii now lost in the big city of New York.

Kit’s work has been taught at universities coast to coast, from San Francisco State to Harvard. He spoke to over 200,000 from the stage of the 2009 National Equality March alongside Lady Gaga and Cynthia Nixon, performed on the San Francisco Pride main stage, Creating Change, and is a nationally ranking slam poet. Kit Yan is first ever and reigning Mr. Transman 2010.

“The eloquence of Kit’s spoken-word delivery lies in the anti-racist, anti-homophobic, gender-inclusive, language that ties his lyrics together.”- Bitch Magazine

Miss Mary Wanna
Miss Mary Wanna
This sassy southern creature of the night has been knocking over trash cans, causing hiiiigh-jinx along the east coast, and has once again found her way to the magical streets of New York City. She currently builds her den in Philadelphia, bumpin and grindin in the name of brotherly and sisterly love with other DIY queens and kings alike. Whether she’s peeling away fur or feathers, Miss Mary Wanna is certain to blow your mind and get you high!

Drae Campbell
Drae Campbell
Drae Campbell is a multi-genre performance artist who is as hysterical as she is handsome. The reigning Miss LEZ 2010, Campbell won the title with a performance combining her funny, poignant storytelling and legendary breakdancing. She starred in the short film “You Move Me,” which is touring the world winning awards and teaching life lessons about oranges and relationships.

Femmecee Bevin Branlandingham
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Bevin Branlandingham is “an ultra-rad warrior for self-acceptance.” [Autostraddle.com] She is the Host and Producer of FemmeCast: The Queer Fat Femme Podcast Guide to Life. She is a flamboyant femmecee, writer, drag king, burlesque and comedy performer. She is Co-Head Madam of the Femme Family, the New York Chapter of the Femme Mafia, on the steering committee for the Fat and Queer conference and the media committee for the Femme Conference. In 2008 Bevin received a Commendation from the Mayor of Jersey City for her work with the LGBT community. Her writing has been published in numerous periodicals and she has performed throughout North America. Her mission is to make the world a safe place for people to love themselves, regardless of their marginalizations. Her website (including blog, calendar of events and workshops) is found at QueerFatFemme.Com.

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