Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2016-02-15

Beth Ditto has a new Fashion Line!

New plus size fashion has been given unto us… and it is good!

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One of my very favorite wardrobe staples is the sweater face dress I bought from Beth Ditto’s first fashion line, a collaboration with Evans in the UK. For those of you who don’t know Beth Ditto, she’s probably the most famous queer fat femme out there, rising to fame as the lead singer of Gossip, has her own awesome solo music projects and wrote a memoir with Michelle Tea.

I consider that sweater dress an investment piece–I spent a bunch of money on it, I adore it and will continue to wear year after year. I always make a huge impression when I wear it.

Beth’s first line for Evans was so killer and I still regret not buying the Domino dress! At the time I was working for Re/Dress in Brooklyn and Deb, the owner, coordinated a big purchase from Evans so we could all share the shipping. I think each of the shop girls bought a piece!

I was so excited to hear that Beth was working on a new line and it launched Monday at 3AM Pacific Time! First thing I did this morning was browse the collection.

This time Beth is doing it herself as an indie designer–no corporation. Everything is made in factories in NYC and she’s gotten input from her designer friends to help put it together. Beth says herself these are investment pieces, and she’s right. They are priced like indie designer pieces but from what I can tell via the internet look totally worth it. Timeless and well conceived. I can’t wait to hear from folks their feedback about the fit and fabric!

loladressbethdittoWhen I am a rich lesbian I will buy the Lola dress in Lipstick Traces. I LOVE the cut and the color and fabric pattern design.

As my readers know I’m in the middle of my transition from NYC to LA so since I’m living off savings and working on new career prospects I don’t have the cash to plunk down on all of the jumpsuits and dresses I want to add to my life. I thought I would aspirationally shop on this post to perhaps inspire my readers to buy some of her pieces so she can be wildly successful with this venture and continue to make clothes that I can buy when my transition period is over and I am a rich lesbian.

04_185-815x1024I LOVE this Modern Love Jumpsuit in Liquid Black. I just think wearing a sheer silver lamé jumpsuit with great underwear out to an event with exceptional shoes sounds like an amazing experience. New item on my bucket list!

timessquarejumpsuitbethdittoThe Modern Love Jumpsuit is also in this Times Square pattern. Adore it!

ninadressbethdittoWhile my first choice dress from the collection is the Lola, I’m kind of dying over the Nina dress! I think it’s so versatile, I think it could be a good fancy work dress, a great cocktail party dress, a great red carpet dress. And if I were giving Hillary Clinton a make-over I would put her in this dress. The only reason it’s not my top choice for aspirational shopping is because I have a dress that is a similar cut and color combination.

04-01-Bubble-color-eatyourmakeup_1024x1024The Double Bubble Dress in Eat Your Make-up (comes in a couple of other colors as well) is on top of my list to twin with Kelli Jean Drinkwater, my queer fat femme friend from Sydney Australia. Because when I’m a rich lesbian I’ll fly her to LA so we can twin in whatever we want!

bethdittoleighdressBoth the Leigh Dress and the Kim oversize shirt look sooo comfortable. I have a dress that is sleeveless with a similar drape, big and flowy, and it is perfect in hot weather. Casually glamorous.

Working at Re/Dress for the three years it was open in Brooklyn and being a body positive activist for over fourteen years has put me in contact with so many indie plus designers. Doing this work is truly a labor of love, has a lot of overhead and rarely yields a profit that lets anyone live high on the hog. I love to support indie designers and think that it’s worth it to spend your money on a quality garment that’s well made. As plus size consumers we have way more corporate options than ever before and sometimes you need/want a pair of $13 jeggings from Forever 21. But I think that prioritizing our investment piece spending to indie designers who support the mission that all bodies are worthy of great fashion and style is super important!

Readers! If you get one of Beth’s pieces tell me how the fit is and what you loved about it in the comments, on my Facebook fan page or on instagram!

ninadress

2015-04-24

You Should Read Michelle Tea’s Book How To Grow Up

I love Michelle Tea. I can’t say much more than at 22 years old I read Valencia and finally found a literary voice that sounded like my own. Kind of breathless excitement about life, stories and a fascination with other people and my feelings and how they affected one another. Reading Michelle Tea told me I could be a published writer, too. It also told me I could maybe one day be an artist and have an amazing group of inspirational kind of reckless friends and all of those things came to pass.

How to Grow Up is her latest memoir. I have read much of her work over the years and I think it is my favorite. Her writing has evolved a bit, it’s still chatty like a friend telling you a story over coffee rather than writing a story and letting you read it. But the sentences are tighter, shorter and the sentiments are clearer. Also, she has a lot of really deep self-reflection and self-compassion that sharpens what she says through lessons learned. It is familiar to her early work but it is a different and more developed literary voice.

It’s written in essays, which makes it easy to read in chunks, but it is also very difficult to put down!

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I thought at first that the book was basically going to be an almagamation of her great column in xoJane Getting Pregnant with Michelle Tea. (I remember a road trip a couple of years ago where I would take breaks from driving at gas stations and read a couple of articles on my phone.) I was totally wrong about that, the pregnant stuff is only a couple of chapters and it is in a more nuanced, self-reflective tone than the columns.

Her book covers so many topics like doing the work on yourself so you stop dating people who stomp all over your heart, going to Paris fashion week, deciding whether or not to drop being a full-time artist in exchange for steady employment, getting over a huge break-up, having a wedding without spending a fortune, and so much more. I related to so much of it on such a deep level.

1937764487_495d6304f0_zIn November 2007, I had just been dumped by my fiance. I was devastated. My friend Mamone was in DC (I was in NYC) at the Sister Spit show and, knowing what a huge Michelle Tea fan I was, asked the group to pose with this sign to make me feel better! It was such a wonderful gift to receive this photo!

If you out there are reading this blog post, I think you should buy Michelle’s book How to Grow Up. However, these people in particular are going to love it:

Working class folks.

I love how much Michelle Tea talks about money, her feelings about it, growing up working class and oh my goddess how being an artist with an uncertain income is affected by that working class upbringing. I have never read anyone talk about the intersections of those two realities about money–working class/poor childhood and taking the leap to freelancing. It is scary as shit and I need a lot of tools in order to navigate this. I’ve already begun using one of her tools, which is to invite her higher power into

Spiritually curious people.

Michelle opens up about her spirituality, including a Stevie Nicks higher power that helps her through things. Tarot readings, how she meditates, explores Buddhism and explains some Buddhist principles in terms of hilarious real life examples of her love life. She also talks about how meditation has really helped her navigate life with more stillness. And the weird fears we get when we venture into a new kind of deeply religious or woo place with ritual and worrying about getting it “right.” I related so intensely to that I put that sentence in “we” and I’m not going to edit it.

I’m a super spiritually curious person, I’m always interested in hearing folks spiritual practice and woo modalities, so I loved that thread throughout the book.

XO-lv4KJThis amazing photo was taken by my friend Sophie Spinelle of Shameless Photography fame.

12 Step People.

I’m paraphrasing Michelle in a blog post I can’t find that I read a few years ago that she breaks the 11th tradition of AA about being anonymous at the level of press, radio, TV and films–being transparent about where her tools for sobriety came from–because she couldn’t have gotten sober without it. Not telling people about her work in AA would be like lying and acting like she could have done it all on her own.

Anyway, she has so many great recovery gems going on in the book in some ways I felt like I was reading really engaging sobriety stories. I found a lot of good tools for my work in my own 12 step program (for family and friends of alcoholics) and I will recommend this book to my pals in recovery.

I have been thinking a lot about whether or not people who don’t like 12 step language or tools would be put off by the book and I don’t really think so. (I know a lot of folks who had parents or former partners in recovery who have been really damaged by recovery language and don’t like it.) It doesn’t overwhelm the content, and if you take what you like and leave the rest you’ll still enjoy it.

Political people like queers or femmes who critique the fashion industrial complex but also love it.

There’s a whole chapter about Michelle buying her first designer piece, a leather hoodie, and all of the feelings that come up about it from her working class background and history being a vegan punk. How her deeply committed political beliefs are complex and how she had to learn to lighten up a little in order to actually enjoy life and eat enough food to live off of. Um, also there’s a whole chapter about Michelle deciding whether or not to get BOTOX.

20150212_015937Macy’s ankle broke while I was reading the book.

On a personal note, this was the first time I read a Michelle Tea book and actually knew some of the people she talked about because our queer worlds are very small. I had always wondered if I would read a Michelle Tea book one day and know people in real life, and then it happened. Knowing who they were did not change how I perceived them independently of the book and also it did nothing for deepening the story since Michelle writes very well from her own perspective and experience. I kind of thought if I knew someone and read about them it would be a thing but it wasn’t.

(I am always curious about how people talk about people they know and use pseudonyms and all of that because of my blog and the memoir I’m working on. My privacy ethics are very nuanced after years of blogging, but I still sometimes feel nervous about people’s reactions to being in print.)

I highly encourage everyone to buy Michelle Tea’s How to Grow Up and savor it. You will love it.

And then consider picking up Valencia because it rules.

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