Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2014-06-12

My Reading with Spiritual Advisor Alex and Kazoo

I like to think of meetings with spiritual advisors, psychics, astrologers, past life readers and all manner of woo folks to be a cross between spiritual practice and therapy. You get a chance to work through issues you are having with someone who has more insights than you might at a given time and it also relies on your belief in a power/energy/spirit world greater than yourself.

A friend of mine had a reading with Alex and Kazoo and recommended him. Alex, that is, who is the human part of the duo, Kazoo being the spiritual end. Alex communicates with Kazoo, the name he gave his spirit guide at a young age.

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I started working with Alex and Kazoo with a twenty minute reading, which he offered as a special a couple of months ago. After our first reading I was sold on his gift, our connection and I was curious what a longer, hour long reading would be like.

Both times I met with Alex and Kazoo via Skype. I’ve done other spiritual readings over skype before and I find them to be just as good as in person, sometimes even better because for some reason my focus is a little more sharp. When I’m with someone in person it takes me longer to focus in on the interaction and I get more distracted.

Kazoo connects with spirit guides and tells Alex what the spirit guide is saying. So the reading is kind of like Alex reporting what two metaphysical beings are saying about you. This is basically where my recent interest in talking to psychics and mediums is coming from–at this point I know so many people who have POTSAed* I’m convinced everyone is partying out there and I want to know what’s happening. I’m nosy.

Alex knew things about me that you wouldn’t know about me, even if you scoured my blog and my social media. There are psychics out there I have worked with who I can tell are making a genuine connection with me and Alex is one of them.

The thing that really got me with Alex and Kazoo was during the first reading he gave me really great advice about something I had been struggling with without me even needing to ask about it. After my first reading I was able to rest assured I was doing the right thing and it became more and more clear that he had been right about that in a very specific way (sorry to be so vague about the subject) that he couldn’t possibly have just guessed and thrown that at me. So having had that great advice and comfort, I decided to reach out to Alex for a full hour-long reading.

Both times Alex and Kazoo connected with a male spirit guide of mine. From his first description I thought it might be my paternal grandfather, who I have felt a closeness with since his passing in 2012, but Alex explained it is someone who tunes into me out of respect for someone close to me.

During the second reading I asked if there were any other spirit guides around and he said a couple of sisters popped up. The sisters thing was interesting because during my visit to a psychic medium in January (a crowd-funded birthday present from my friends) a pair of independent sisters appeared, who I believe to be great aunts of my father. Both readings, by Alex and the other medium, explained the pair of sisters in really similar ways.

In the reading Alex reported first what my spirit guide was excited to talk to me about. He noticed a marked difference in my energy from the first reading to the second reading. When I had my second reading I was at a house alongside a babbling brook–a weekday vacation I took at the end of May to get out of the city. He said I needed to have this be a more regular thing that I had let my energy get too depleted and it’s an important renewal for my spirit to be out in nature.

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Alex then switched to me needing to spend more time doing things in a “selfish” way, things that have no purpose whatsoever. Spending time working on stuff that requires my concentration but pulls me out of the world. I asked if it was like working on a puzzle and he said, “Yes!” as I had been working on a jigsaw puzzle for a few months but hadn’t yet gotten to finishing it. After the reading I set aside a bunch of puzzle time, telling my girlfriend that I needed to have some puzzle time to unplug.

My spirit guide told me to spend less time studying and more time paying attention to my intuition. I had noticed my internal tapes kept berating myself for needing to learn more. I often get into weird thought spirals where I think I need to learn things–I was recently on a tear telling myself I needed to learn more languages, to play the banjo and a few other things I keep thinking I need to “study.” It was interesting that I got the specific message that I needed to spend less time studying. I found this advice to be eerily timely. I had told Alex nothing about me thinking about studying and he knew to tell me not to do so much of it.

He also told me more dessert and indulgence.

I was also told that life has been sending a lot of shit my way and instead of dodging things I should just start letting them hit me and not letting it affect me. It’s less like playing frogger in life and more like just walking across a street and not letting the trucks break me, if that makes sense. It was helpful advice that I’ve found really empowering in the couple of weeks following our second reading, as life has delivered more shit storm.

I enjoyed hearing what my spirit guide was excited to talk to me about, but what I found most valuable was towards the end of the reading I just started bouncing ideas off of my spirit guide through Alex and Kazoo and getting some very detailed feedback. It helped me flesh out some things that I’m working on.

I talked about my idea to craft Reiki infused tea blends, as I am now Reiki Level Two attuned, using Reiki energy to invigorate the healing power of herbs and super charge the tea itself with Reiki life force energy. Alex said, “Ding ding ding!” about the idea. And we worked through some things that I hadn’t even gotten to with the idea that my spirit guide was really excited to tell me about.

One thing that was really interesting that came up was when I was talking about an event I’m planning, my first foray into nightlife after a six month hiatus. At first my spirit guide was supportive, but then Alex’s face got very concerned. He warned about something very specific that had happened and I knew immediately what it was. It was super powerful and important that I get affirmation/warning from my spirit guide on and I was really glad I brought it up.

14140094159_af8998ee54_zAfter I got home from the trip to the babbling brook I turned back to the puzzle I’d been working on for two months and finished it in three days. It’s missing five pieces and I really don’t care.

If you’re feeling called to have a reading from Alex I highly recommend it. I found them fun and soothing.

Alex and Kazoo’s readings can happen via skype or in person if you’re in the New York City area. He also does readings for up to three people at a time, which I imagine is really fun.

Alex is offering a special for my blog readers–if you book a reading and mention my site before June 30th (the reading can be for later, you just have to book by the 30th) you can get an hour reading for $50 off his standard rate. So instead of paying $150 you pay just $100.

Get in touch with Alex through his website, connect on his facebook page or email alexandkazoo at gmail dot com!

*Passed On To Something Awesome (the idea that when you pass you are going on to a higher consciousness).

2013-02-07

My Reading with Empowering Astrology

I like to think of activities like having my astrological chart interpreted by an astrologer, visiting mediums, having tarot cards read, past life readings and other types of woo activities as a cross between spiritual practice and therapy. They often work better if you go in with a specific question or questions and have something to work through by the end. I usually feel relieved and understand my path better as a result.

Last week I had my astrological chart read by Katie, the bombshell behind Empowering Astrology. I had met her once before years ago and upon one glance at my chart she knew that the previous few months (because of Pluto sailing through my chart) had been “like a nuclear bomb went off” in my life. She had no way of knowing but I had lost a job of five years and my apartment became uninhabitable in that span of time. That little nugget stayed with me and I had always wanted to come back for a full chart reading.

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Your astrological chart is basically a map of the stars as they existed at the exact time and location that you were born. When people say “I’m a Capricorn with a Virgo rising and my Moon is in Scorpio,” what they mean to describe are aspects of their personality as dictated by the positions of certain celestial bodies when they entered this world. Lesbians and woo-oriented queers use astrology as code with one another all the time, so it’s helpful to know those basics. You can get a free chart at astro.com if you know your birth time and location.

I’ve had a free chart for years and am very curious about how the natal chart can give me information about my life. I totally believe in past lives and that our higher selves select certain natal information to structure our journeys in this life. My relationship to woo spirituality is on the “why not” spectrum and if it helps me understand my purpose here and helps me to more effectively do the work and art I do then this spirituality is doing exactly what it’s meant to do.

Even though we both live in Brooklyn, Katie and I met via Skype video chat. Number one, this helps with the whole “Scheduling is the hardest part” bit of coordinating with New Yorkers. Number two, Katie was able to record our session so that I could have an mp3 of our conversation and not have to rely on my notes to piece together what I learned.

Tea service is really helping me finish this trust document.
Bring your own tea.

I learned so much! There’s a lot to know about how an astrological chart works. It seems to me that a good astrologer is a combination scientist, mathematician and intuitive. Katie definitely has all three. She knows so much about astrology, the way the planets talk to each other and can distill it easily into real talk for people who don’t know what a progressed chart, Mars conjunct Sun or what each house in our chart means. And those are just some nuggets of things I learned about in our hour-long conversation.

She began by asking me what I was looking to glean from our conversation. As I tend to do, I asked about my journey in life and my higher purpose. When I was younger I was always mostly curious about romance and money and that’s not to say I’m not still curious about those things, but these days I want to find out how to make it easier for myself to stay on the path I’m meant to be on. I’ve learned a lot through the language of pain about how hard it is to try paths that you’re not meant for, I’m looking for a peaceful journey leaning into the lessons I’m meant to learn.

Party planning involves spreadsheets & hauling beer.  We're ready for Yes Ma'am on Saturday!

Katie had a lot of lessons to tell me about. We began with her overview of a few areas she noted in my chart, like the clusters of planets I have in the houses in the bottom of my chart and some heavy duty “relationship karma.” I was surprised at how much past life information could be gleaned from my chart and Katie had a lot to say about how the things we’ve worked on in past lives can affect this life.

We talked about the planetary positions and certain traumas I was going to need to recover from, which hit the nail on the head for me about what I saw as my work in this life. I feel very reassured about the work I’m doing after my reading with her.

I especially enjoyed talking about the transits I was about to go through in the upcoming months. Transits are those lines in the chart where the planets move and Katie was able to tell me certain things to look out for. She also blew my mind by saying “Money is simply a 3D manifestation of energy.”

The contents of my bra at the end of the evening : 2 drink tickets, $6 in cash, 1 splenda packet, 2 lifesaver wint-o-mints, my cell phone (not pictured), an 11 year chip found next to the bar.

Since my reading I’ve listened to it again via MP3 while in the bath, which has helped me glean more out of it. She highly recommends listening to the reading several times. Her approach values shaking things up by providing insights into the natal chart and she really is an “energetic midwife” as she describes on her website.

If you’ve ever been curious about having your natal chart read, I cannot recommend Katie enough. She is smart, warm and extremely insightful. Also, her website includes a rad blog with a lot of nuggets, including this Moon Ritual to Manifest (or as I call it, Womanifest) I’ve done before and it’s been awesome.

Katie also has an awesome Facebook fan page for Empowering Astrology where she shares nuggets of wisdom about the planets moving around. Honestly I’m much more interested in astrological forecasts that talk about what the planets are doing for everyone than just what the Capricorn horoscope for the week says. Astrological destiny is way more complicated than that! Also, isn’t it nice sometimes to realize “Ugh, I went to my friend’s birthday party and felt so terrible all night for seemingly no reason” and then finding out there was a MONSTER full moon that was throwing everyone for a loop, and especially Cardinal signs. Anyway, Empowering Astrology on Facebook has those kinds of forecasts and I like them.

Also, as a rule, I pretty much only go to therapists, tarot readers or spiritual folks if I have a personal recommendation by someone queer or they are queer themselves. I just feel more safe and there’s less language to translate about my life and loves and gender and sexuality to people in my community. Katie’s queer herself.

2010-08-18

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Fresh from my annual adventure in the woods at MichFest, I thought I would provide some highlights from my summer adventures.

TAMALE AND THE POWER OF STICKTOITIVENESS

I got to spend a lot of time with the gorgeous and caring Miss Tamale Sepp. I met her through the IDKE community years ago, and have performed alongside her precious few times but consider her a kindred spirit. She’s two months older than me but it feels like we’re twins in some ways. She likes to say “I’m dramatic, not drama” and I could not agree more. We share a penchant for flamboyance and big personalities, red hair and big tits.

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One of the things I love most about Tamale is her relentless drive and passion. She decided the last afternoon of the festival that she wanted to spin poi. She needed this very specific type of camping fuel. “Coleman something something in a red can” she repeated to anyone who would listen. She easily asked 600 people and as the afternoon wore on and I was beginning to give up, as the cuntree store ran out of all sweet snacks other than keebler fudge stripe cookies, as campers had been flooding out the front gates since the early morning hours, as night was beginning to fall. She got a tip from someone to check beside a specific high traffic dumpster as a lot of campers leave things behind. I bid her adieu after another heart to heart atop a hay bail.

Two hours later she was at the Last Chance Desperation Dance* grinning from ear to ear, handing me a book of matches with a can of Coleman fuel at her feet. She saw it in someone’s cart and asked if she could use some and they gave it to her. She performed three of her beautiful fire dances that night, one solo and one using me as a sexy (and very trusting) prop underneath her, and then later as part of the Womyn of Color Community Tent burlesque show.

Had Tamale given up when I was beginning to doubt the possibility, she never would have had that fulfillment and the hundreds of women who watched her perform that night would have missed out on some beautiful midnight magical moments. It was a really salient example to me of the benefits of tenacity and putting your needs out there.

Me and Tamale

ACTIONS FOR TRANSSEXUAL WOMEN’S INCLUSION
Stage Protest during Sia
Photo credit Andrea Alseri
A photo from the stage protest during Sia’s “Breathe Me”. The people are all wearing “Trans Women Belong Here” t-shirts. During the “How to welcome transsexual women to Michfest” organizing meeting Sia and JD attended and she invited people to wear their shirts and come on stage.  There were an additional 3 rows of folks behind the catwalk. Also when we (the folks on stage) raised our arms, a bunch of folks in the crowd stood with their arms raised as well. It was really beautiful to be part of this action.  I’m like third back from the center wearing a long sleeve black undershirt and striped skirt.  I did my best to make a t-shirt look good.

Opening day
Rae, one of the transwomen inclusion organizers, did an excellent t-shirt modification.

There was a lot of productive and peaceful organizing on the Land this summer around the issue of transsexual women’s inclusion in the womyn-born-womyn community intention at the Festival.** It was really great to see so much visible mobilization and have so many great conversations with people who are long-time (like 20+ years) attendees of the Festival. I have seen a shift in the community perception of the presence of an all-inclusive definition of “womyn” within the last decade I’ve been attending the Festival, but of course there is no crystal ball to tell us when/if/how that shift will be reflected by the Festival itself.

Welcoming Transsexual Women on the Land
Photo Credit: Amanda Leinberger

Women’s space is personally very important to me, and something I see as a periodic necessity for my ability to live in this society. I grew up in Girl Scouts and going to Girl Scout camp. I also believe very strongly in gender non-essentialism and that gender is non-binary. I think that women’s space can be inclusive of a non-binary gender, and the umbrella can be as big as it needs to be to include all women. I also don’t believe anyone has the right to decide who else is a “woman”. Not the clerk at vital records who files the birth certificates and not someone who is organizing an event. I think gender is self-determined.

The first time I went to Michfest it blew my mind. This was before I learned about body positivity, before I learned that Femme was anything other than pejorative and being able to see a literal sea of women’s bodies (and a lot that looked like mine) in a comfortable and free environment radically changed my view of my own body. I want Fest to become that kind of space for all women. I am committed to doing the work from the inside, while I’m there to spiritually replenish my ability to do my art and activism in the outside world.

What was disheartening this summer was the interactions with Camp Trans this year. My friend Bryn, a long-time Camp Trans goer, read a piece about her experience at Festival in 2007 on Episode 9 of my podcast. It’s a really great listen.
There were reports of vandalism on the Land this summer from people camped at Camp Trans, and as a worker who works at the front gate, I heard people yelling terrible things from their cars at us as they drove past. This is something I’ve never experienced from Camp Trans. I’ve been over there many times, have a lot of friends who camp there and have enjoyed the “kinder gentler” peaceful activism that has been the trend over the last several years. I know whatever happened were the actions of a few individuals and not a whole community, but it is very disappointing that it happened at all when the actions going on from Festival Goers were so positive.

FINDING YOUR OWN RHYTHM

I spent a lot of time on vacation this year fighting off bugs (they were worse than ever) and trying to look good while doing it. A Festie Virgin friend of mine told me “I was lead to believe this was going to be some sort of non-stop sexy romp in the woods” and I responded “Nothing deters my sexual appetite like the taste of DEET.” Not that sex doesn’t happen in the woods, but when I removed getting laid from whether or not I felt my Festival was fun or a success I had a much better time. This theory is also true for conferences and other high-pressure hook-up queer social gatherings.***

I think it can be really hard to understand that what makes something a good time for one person doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true for other people. This took me so long to internalize. Some people have to get laid to have a good time or do [x,y,z] to have a good time. I would always beat myself up for not enjoying things in a similar way because I absorbed what other people were saying should be my goals for what is a good time.

The Festival is a great space for me to remember this lesson. Some people go to the Festival for the sole purpose of just drinking with their friends all week, some go for the nature, some book up every moment of their day with workshops, concerts and activities. I sometimes get so wrapped up in the idea of the time I think I should be having I become really checked out from the joys and pleasures of the time I am actually having.

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Indigo Girls was my favorite concert and I remained completely sober for it because I wanted to really experience the joy of seeing one of my favorite bands play. I was also experimenting with how to wear flannel as high Femme. Also pictured is my friend Des in her outfit from the Butch Strut.

It took me several years to realize that just because I was “camping” didn’t mean I had to dress like it. I’m always far happier wearing clothes that express who I am in a way that zip away hiking shorts and tevas don’t even come close to doing. So I wear what I want and accept that there might be a wardrobe casualty (rarely).

Sharp in the woods.
Partying in the dark dark woods? Sequins will get you noticed.

This is another lesson in not letting fear hold you back. I don’t worry about being overdressed anymore, and the same goes double for as costume-friendly environment as MichFest.

FEMME PARADE
My friend C. approached me at the beginning of Festival week and told me that her dream was to get her light blue convertible in the Femme Parade and have me ride in it. I told her, “I didn’t know that it was my dream to ride in a light blue convertible in the Femme Parade until this very moment but I am happy to help make this happen.” It took many conversations and work on many folks’ parts but the coveted and extremely difficult to acquire Festival vehicle pass was obtained and we took up the rear of the parade.

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All in all I had a great time, deepening friendships and spending some quality time helping to create something entirely put together from scratch every year by women. It’s an incredible experience and incredible feeling. I can’t wait to do it again.

*Not the official name in the Festival program.
**More on this topic is being pooled at this site here, clickie clickie.
***Likely another blog post on this topic is forthcoming.

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