Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2017-03-30

FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Meet Fancy Feast Who Made Fat Sex Into a Career

Welcome one and all (who are knowingly entering into this adult-themed conversation)! This is Fat Sex Week XXL, the second edition of QueerFatFemme.com Fat Sex Week where I explore many facets of fat sex. Named for Magic Mike XXL, which was even better than the first Magic Mike, I’m hoping this edition is louder and fatter than ever before! Check this tag for all of the posts!

Rebel Cupcake was a monthly body positive queer dance party and cabaret in Brooklyn I produced. It was at a divey club/bar called Sugarland with the triple threat of sound system, lights and a stage and it was all mine one night a month. I think that a performance sets an energetic stage for a specific experience; I wanted to produce empowering acts that made people feel good about being weirdos. I began every night with an hour or so of 90s R&B and Riot Grrrl music for mingling, then had a brief stage show, then cleared the chairs for a dance party. The shows were about 15 minutes but some nights were longer, like the staged reading of the beauty shop scene from Steel Magnolias. I booked burlesque, Bearlesque, butchlesque, drag queens/kings/gender performers, live music, belly dance, poetry (only knock your socks off great poetry, it was a nightclub), fire performance, readings and whatever else I found in the realm of body positive/weirdo positive/queer and fat performance realm.

Fancy Feast fit right in with the unicorns.

I used to have to hustle every single month to book a stage kitten. I was always relying on the kindness of last minute serendipity. Somehow I would find someone who willing to wear a cute outfit and be on stage picking up clothes from the previous performers in exchange for drink tickets. Fancy Feast walked into Re/Dress, the vintage plus size and resale clothing boutique I worked at, she said she had taken a burlesque class at the New York School of Burlesque (it’s a real thing) and she volunteered to stage kitten if I ever needed one. It was as though the Goddess heard my plea to get someone consistently available to fill this role and here she was.

“We fear not being beautiful.”

After a couple of months and a theme that would work for her (I curated the show themes very thoughtfully) I gave her a slot. She was great, but what was even better was watching her develop as a performer over time. Fancy Feast works really hard and she’s very smart, she thinks things through. She’s always improving. She also has a lot of fun on stage and she owns her body. That, to me, is ultimate sexy right there. It literally doesn’t matter what your body looks like, to me it is how you embody yourself fully that makes you hot on stage.

On being fat on stage: “I walk in the fat one and I get to choose how I walk out.” Photo by David Byrd.

Fancy has flown to the top since her glitter beginnings at Rebel Cupcake. She’s been Miss Coney Island (which is a big deal in New York City and a perfect title for her) and is well-recognized. And now there’s a documentary about her!!!

If you are interested in hearing a smart woman talk about owning her body, performing erotic dance, selling sex toys, living a very realistic NYC performance artist life, subverting beauty standards, and finding a place to express yourself while being weird or exaggerated, you should watch this documentary.

On performing to a not body positive crowd: “I don’t want to walk into a room and know everyone is going to agree with me.” Photo by Ellen Stagg.

Or if you want to be inspired as an artist by another artist’s practice, watch this documentary.

Or if you just want to watch a hot fat woman take her clothes off a lot, watch this documentary.

Glitter spank at Rebel Cupcake, photo by Kelsey Dickey.

Maybe a little bit of all of those things? Leon Chase made this amazing one hour film about what it’s like to be a fat burlesque artist and sex educator, but from the very one of a kind perspective of Fancy Feast.

Fancy Feast also often said yes to other random gigs I had. Go-go dancing at my off-shoot dance party (no performance) Yes Ma’am. Here I am with co-founders and co-producers DJ Average Jo and Nicky Cutler and Fancy Feast is working it even though we were in an art gallery and didn’t know what exactly to use as a go-go box.

I make a brief appearance as Bevin Branlandingham of Rebel Cupcake (major points for spelling my name correctly, Leon). He chose the exact right photos and video clip for Rebel Cupcake. Me in a “Yes Fats Yes Femmes” glitter tank top of my own creation in a still shot with Fancy Feast, and a video of me recreating a gif of a Glitter Spank I saw on Tumblr. Using Fancy Feast’s ass.

Kate Bornstein & her amazing partner Barbara Carellas performed at my Rebel Cupcake second anniversary party. Fancy Feast, as Stage Kitten, was called upon to hold Auntie Kate’s umbrella. Sometimes volunteering has its own glamour! (I’m similarly briefly in a documentary about Kate Bornstein, while introducing her and Barbara at Rebel Cupcake. That documentary is also quite incredible.) Photo by Nogga Schwartz.

People who feel weird among other folks will identify strongly with Fancy Feast. For her and me being weird is a really beautiful thing. You know, being the swan among the ducks, looking for other swans. It just feels so good to me to watch someone on TV (well, chromecasted from youtube) who is reflecting what I believe about all bodies being valuable. About sex being a normal part of human communication that should not be shamed. That glitter is a really important part of self expression.

“Ugly is not the worst thing you can be. Being boring is. Be ugly, not boring.”

Fancy Feast is more than 100% of the time working to advance fat sex, at least by being a fat presence in multiple facets of the sex industry. I felt like it was remarkably appropriate to kick off Fat Sex Week XXL celebrating this incredible documentary. Grab some popcorn and watch it!

Follow Fancy on Twitter @fancyburlyq on Instagram @fancyfeastburlesque and find her on Facebook as Fancy Feast!

2015-03-25

Florida Keys: Wandering Key West and “The Art of Doing Nothing”

Dara and I spent three days total in Key West. We drove down there from our cabin on Big Pine Key and spent the day after our paddleboard yoga adventure tooling around. I noticed the tourist crowd was pretty mainstream, which surprised both of us because we had the impression that Key West was pretty queer. From all I had heard about Key West I expected a hearty smattering of weirdos and did not find many. (Turns out they come during specific events and take over Key West.)

16143916734_2af8aa442f_zThere are a lot of super flamboyant amazing things in Key West, which made me think weirdos would love this place and flock to it.

All of the locals we interacted with were fantastic and super weird. Whether weird in appearance or not, upon interacting with them they were definitely not what I would call “normals” and were lively, fun folks.* It was the tourists who had me on guard. (Unbeknownst to us, it was Spring Break.) Dara would literally count on one hand the amount of visibly lesbian or gay couples we saw during our time there.

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That first day we wandered Key West I noticed the tourist crowd, but quickly ignored it to enjoy the beauty of the old wooden houses and taking our wander through the town. It was so lovely.

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Before Paddleboard Yoga we took a walk down a random beach street we found and enjoyed how friendly most folks were. I loved peeping into the water for schools of fish. (I only found one.)

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We had a great lunch at Pepe’s, suggested by an instagrammer I follow when I asked him about Key West. (He’s a minister and the gay dad of one of my favorite bloggers–if you like spiritual musings and great landscaping, request to follow Poppa143.)

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They served iced tea by the pitcher, and a cat was sleeping on the sun roof above us in the outdoor patio! Clearly I was smitten with this place.

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16143911324_2c5e75337d_zI found a spot in the marina that sells fish food and got to feed really huge, beautiful fish! I loved it so much we came back to do it again on our third day in Key West and that time saw a Nurse Shark dive in and grab a fish who was snacking on our fish food. Insert complex feelings about the circle of life.

On our mid-afternoon wander we ended up on the main drag of Duval Street and I started to feel kind of woozy and nauseous. It took me a few minutes to realize I was getting heat sick, needed to sit down and drink a lot of water. I usually only get heat sick when the temp is in the high 90s or above. Even though Key West was only in the 80s the sun was very intense. I noticed a sharp difference once my hair was up, I had cold water and we were walking on the shady side of the street.

16558949707_5821421fb5_zDuval Street, in the deep afternoon sun.

After I was heat sick we stopped in at this really cute coffee shop for an hour and played chess under their fans and drank frothy iced coffees. It was inside a converted old wooden house and was really cool to get to experience the inside of a gorgeous house. They also had some porch seats but that was too hot for me, as I was a wilted flower.

16578739000_a91afc4515_zThe coffee shop is across the street from Pepe’s.

I noticed the coffee shop had a real estate office inside of it and I fantasized about being a realtor in a cute coffee shop. One of the little wooden houses-turned-hotels that goes for $400 a night has a “liming hour” from 4-5 where they encourage guests to sit and literally do nothing. (Theirs includes an alcoholic beverage; upon some internet research I think the term “liming hour” might be appropriated from Caribbean culture.) I love the idea of valuing the art of doing nothing, though, and it was definitely needed given how sharp the sun is! I was glad we found a coffee shop to have that moment.

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I’ve learned a lesson about sunny adventure vacations and booking in time to just chillax.

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After our rest, we ticked off some more tourist bucket list. The Southernmost Point in the Continental US is a must. You have to stand in line to take a photo!

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20150305_165357Dara wanted a photo on the REAL southernmost point, which was the little wall behind the buoy. I used the selfie stick. Yes, we got a selfie stick for this vacation.

We did sunset at Mallory Square. We watched a pig named Snorkel perform for tips with a foulmouthed gentleman making dad jokes. I tipped him $8 and another few when he offered photo ops with Snorkel.

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We had a mediocre dinner at a taco place called Amigos that enabled views of the touristy Duval Street. I realized once we got our food that the four stars on Yelp were for the ambiance of being in the “party.” Does anyone else feel annoyed when you eat out and the food isn’t amazing? I’m just always interested in delicious food first and making scrumptious nachos is not difficult.

16578712328_4a8e89ae0d_zNacho view.

IMG_20150305_192722253Nacho selfie.

Our post nachos, dog tired bodies wandered down an adorable street lamp lit alleyway listening to birdsong (at night!) and settled in for the 45 minute drive back to Big Pine Key. That was the night Dara got bit over 100 times by a spider. Her bites are still healing, almost three weeks later.

*Many of them suggested the Green Parrot as the bar and live music venue to check out. We don’t drink so we didn’t end up prioritizing a bar but I wanted to pass on the suggestion to my readers!

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