Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2010-05-12

In Solidarity With Those Who Have Been Called “Too Much”

I have a bestie who lives far away. When we used to visit only once a year and not keep up with each other regularly, as soon as she would pick me up from the airport I would ask for the current love life run-down. She is polyamorous and it was (and still is) always an interesting mix of folks.

One time, the list included a girl she was particularly fond of and things were going quite well, except that the girl’s other love interest was quite the opposite of my bestie. “I don’t know how to describe her except that she’s just… very beige.”

What made the situation, and Beige herself, so vexing was that the love interest was starting to spurn my bestie for Beige. “I just don’t know what she sees in Beige. She’s the exact opposite of me.”

This love push and pull between my bestie, that girl, and Beige would go on for years, with the girl bouncing back from monogamy with Beige to my bestie and back again.

I have incorporated the descriptor “Beige” in my love vocabulary now. It’s hard to describe what Beige even means, as a personal trait. Maybe it’s just the absence of bold color? I just know it’s pretty much the opposite of glitter. I identify as glitter, which to me is a color.

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Vagina Jenkins has been told that she is “too much”. Also check out her kickstarter so she can bring her too much to your town!

Glenn Marla has a performance piece in Tragic Magic where he talks about people who have been called “too much”. I’ve been called too much my entire life–too fat, too loud, too feminine, too “lipstick” when I first came out, too expressive, too blah blah blah blah blah.

I hate it. I love big and I always express myself. When I am excited about something I get louder, and I really like to be excited. I am effusive in my praise of people, and when I’m with someone in a romantic context I can make them feel like the only person in the room. I’ve been told this by multiple partners, which is why I tend to date Leos. I have also been told that I am a lot different than people expect by a lot of lovers.

I LOVE romance. I really enjoy giving and receiving special attention and courtship. I am so not the kind of girl who can play aloof–I just don’t have time or inclination to pretend to be something I am not. If I can “take it or leave it” I’ll just leave it.

I was told by someone I went on a couple of dates with that I was “a lot to get used to.” It brought up a lot for me–I had so much rage around being told that and it took me a few weeks to unpack. It felt like being told I was too much, even though I know that wasn’t the intention. I guess this post is my way of turning that unexpected rage into productivity.

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Heather has been told she is “too much”. Me, too. That’s why I got big hair, to go along with my big personality.

Heather and I were talking about being too much and how people get so scared and run to the easy, non-threatening beige. “It’s so unfortunate because they could have something so good and so easy, but instead they run away like a coward and don’t want to deal. If I wanted to date people who didn’t want to communicate and were douchebags I’d just go back to straight dudes.”*

We’ve both been left for people who didn’t hold a candle to us. It sucks! I don’t even know how to tell you how to deal with that except just to let it show you who that person really is. If someone prefers beige to glitter than it tells you that they don’t have it in them to date you and they don’t deserve you.

I go out with people and I see they have all of this potential and then all of a sudden they’re dumping you in a picture text message from the Gossip Girl set.** It can take a minute to realize that they really just showed you all you needed to know about them from their bad behavior.

I don’t know what it is like to be left for someone who is fabulous. I’ll let you know if it happens. I don’t usually get left for someone else, though, I get left because people aren’t emotionally ready to deal with anything, not even the conversation where we come to some agreement about what our casual romance, Romance, or ROMANCE could look like.*** I mean, everything is negotiable. And if it isn’t then at least you know it isn’t and that in and of itself is some sort of answer. I just think it’s worse being left in the dust holding nothing and wondering what the hell happened.

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My BFF Rachael, the Donna of Femme Mafia International, has been told that she is “too much”. Hey Atlanta, check out her new monthly Friday Femme Centered party starting THIS Friday, Friends With Benefits. Info here.

My friend Taueret has a tattoo that says “I love harder than expected.” I think that’s true for a lot of Ferocious Femmes and other flamboyant queers. I think it scares people. I mean, it’s true, some of the most scoundrely scoundrels I have dealt with let loose the “I love yous” within a week of starting to date me, which I ate up. I like to think that I am learning how to temper it a bit and be a little bit more skeptical about professions of forever(!!), and of course not profess love too early. But I do believe in showing people affection. And when you’re enthusiastic about people, actually saying “You’re awesome!” instead of hiding who you are and how you feel.

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Taueret. Frankly I just don’t understand how there can be too much of her love.

My bestie Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha told me once on the heels of another fizzled romance that she feels like this agent who incites change–that she tends to somehow be that catalyst for the people she dates to suddenly start working on their issues, and then they are sadly no longer emotionally available to date. It feels very frustrating when this happens over and over again.

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I feel like if Leah is an agent who incites change, it is somehow made less threatening and more appealing by her propensity for wearing hot miniskirts. I’m just saying.

There’s no great answer to this. I want to tell you all there is absolutely someone out there for you and that suddenly your Prince(ss) charming will show up and tell you that you are SO much instead of TOO much. I do firmly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I just also know from personal, current experience that it takes empyreal patience to find someone who is in it for the full flamboyance, nurturing, love, whatever you have to give.

It took so much work to become the confident, courageous, colorful and caring person that I am. I won’t quiet it and I won’t be shushed just to make someone like me back. The right romantic interest, friends and community would want me to be my most vibrant self.

Being a risk-taker in love is going to pay off. I will always have experiences worth writing about, good and bad, I will always have things to learn from. I will always keep changing and keep growing. I am the kind of person who needs an adventurous risk-taker to come along for the ride. I encourage everyone to take risks, big and small, in love and in life as much as you can. It is what makes life so much more interesting than beige.

I had a great date with a really hot, fat, tattooed older butch who said they didn’t like make-out parties because “I’m a specialty food. The people who are attracted to me are really into me. But there are lots of people who aren’t.”

I have found a lot of empowerment from this statement. Being a specialty food is something special. It makes me a lot more interesting–going through the work I have had to go through to unlearn self-hatred and myriad of other things has made me a really fun and fascinating person. It makes the days I feel good really fucking shine, for no reason in particular. It means the work I do as a Queer Fat Femme performer, writer and activist is to create visibility. I hope my visibility helps all of the young Queer Fat Femmes out there have an easier time with dating when they’re 31. Maybe in 10 years Queer Fat Femmes won’t be such a speciality food (but will still be special!).

There’s no magic formula to making someone not intimidated by you. There’s no magic formula to helping people get over a lifetime of hatred to love themselves enough to want to date someone who is nice to them. It’s true for any marginalized identity, fat folks, dis/abled folks, people of color, trans folks, survivors, queers, etc…

I can give you this answer: There is only patience and confidence that as a community, if we love each other enough and work to help one another heal, we’ll create queers who are confident enough to love out loud and give glitter (and orange, purple, and paisley) a chance.

*I want to say there are plenty of straight dudes who are not douchebags.
**True story. “Thought of you. Also let’s not see each other anymore.”
***This is why Unicorn Dick is described as that fantastic head, heart, lust, timing combination–timing is often a bitch. Um, also, I hate this trend amongst queers where it feels like we can’t talk about “WHAT IT IS THAT WE’RE DOING” because it’s so threatening to have words for it. Come up with something creative but don’t avoid talking about it because it’ll scare someone away. It just leaves you left with no ending because there was no real beginning. Dangling participles are sucky in grammar and suckier still when they hurt your heart!

2009-09-02

Videos from Summer Two Thousand and Fine!

First! I am super proud to announce Saturday, October 10, 2009 I am producing a Zombie Queer Cabaret & Spooky Dance Party in NYC! At the Stonewall Inn. All details at the calendar page. Right now I’m booking the show and I assure you it is killer! Costumes of any kind are encouraged but not required. Make travel plans now!!

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When I am facilitating a meeting, I’m a big fan of the “go around”. Tell us your name and stuff like pronoun, identities, and always a wacky question. It’s a good ice breaker, makes sure we’re all on the same page, helps get people closer, sparks convo outside of the meeting. At all Femme Family meetings (where all of us are self-identified Femmes) I ask what the Femmest thing* they’ve done today is as well as a highlight of what’s going on in their lives.

At least night’s Femme Book Club my question was “What was the highlight of your summer.” Mine was three fold. NYC Pride Weekend with the Femme Family. The Femmes of Power Book Launch with the Femme Mafia in Atlanta. And Michfest. Interestingly, in the past two days I have discovered videos published that feature my first two highlights!

I’m especially fond of this one by Maria Rivers of Labrys Magazine in Atlanta.

What I love most about it is that my outfit translates better in video than photo. That crinoline really floofs!

Today I was on the newly redesigned Velvet Park Media reading this blog post about the Butch Voices Conference.** It was with great delight I found Grace Moon’s video about the Dyke March. Best part is Rachel, our Femme Family Madam of Mystery*** talking about Femme Family and then in the next scene Grace is trying to do an interview and it is completely overwhelmed by the shouting of Femme Family and the Femme Sharks. Ferocious!

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Our Femme Family theme dress was “feathers” because our logo has wings. Loved how everyone did something different! You can’t see it but Sophie’s got an old fashioned hat with feathers on it.

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Femme Sharks
Femme Sharks in NYC.

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I didn’t get a good picture, but there was a whole contingent of folks doing glitter & moustaches. This is my friend Blaney.

*Generally the Femmest thing falls into one of three categories: 1. Girly stuff (Today I painted my bedroom hot pink.) 2. Strength and Bravery (Today I quit my job to focus on community work. I’ll get the money somewhere.) 3. Dating (Today I successfully navigated overlapping scheduling of dates with two of my out of town lovers who wanted to visit the same week.)
**I feel pretty complicated about the blog post, and am working up a response.
***Here’s Rachel from the Dyke March. Can you believe the first thing I noticed about her was the eyelashes, and only 10 minutes later did I realize she was actually topless?

2009-07-04

Correspondence: Aqueel or Michael

I was interviewed on Charlotte Cooper’s amazing blog, Obesity Timebomb. Check it out here!

Also, Friday, July 10th is the Femmes of Power East Coast Launch Party in Atlanta, GA! Check out ME femmeceeing, my oft-mentioned BFF Rachael, Cherry Poppins from Austin, TX, the incomparable Vagina Jenkins, Ms. Stewart and Clover who were all featured in the book. There are rumors Ulrika Dahl, one of the authors, may be in attendance. It’s going to be a PARTY, so get in your car and get over there!
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From the myspace mailbag:

TO: Bevin
FROM: Aqueel
RE: hi

Hi, Nice profile 🙂

Just wondering, do u ever flirt with men ?
If not, would you ever flirt just for fun ?

Michael

Dear Aqueel or Michael:

First of all, thank you very much for the compliment on my myspace profile. I’m not shy to admit it took me years and a lot of websites with glaring and obnoxious blingie flash advertisements to find just the right theme that projected a high femme flourish without being hard to read. Aside from aesthetics, I really love language and have worked hard to express just exactly “Who is this Bevin Branlandingham” within the confines of the Myspace writing prompts*. Language is important, Aqueel or Michael, don’t you agree? Evolutionary psychologists have said humans know over 60,000 words. “We have all these words because we like to mate with people who caress us with language.” It’s totally true.

Of course, let’s be real, I’m not using myspace to get ass. Like a lot of people, these days I’m mostly on The Book. The interactivity of The Book means I can passive aggressively flirt with as many as 6 people at one time. And, frankly, that’s my preference. Overt flirting works for me here and there, but I am so hapless and flummoxed when I’m attracted to people often I can’t do any real cutesy flirting and people have no idea that I’m interested. It’s a struggle for me that I am trying to overcome.

Often, I do flirt just for fun, and it’s way more fun to flirt with people I’m not actually interested in. For example, my friend Glenn Marla and I flirt a lot, but he and I have a lot of good boundaries** and it’s just flirting.

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Through our flirting we’ve actually concocted this story about how we were once high school sweethearts at performing arts high school, and we would lie in bed and sing Madonna lyrics to one another and broke up 12 times and one of our songs was “Hungry Eyes” from Dirty Dancing. Even though Glenn is 4 years younger than I am, it’s still fun to imagine how Baby Glenn and Baby Bevin would be in love. Like the Muppet Babies but with fat queers.

So, Aqueel or Michael, to answer your question, I do flirt with men, and sometimes I do flirt for fun.

I’m not sure if there was a subtext to your question, and I’m thinking there probably was because of the smiley face. Emoticons are the building blocks of text-based flirting. So if you sent me that message to try to start something up with me, I’ll tell you now I’m at a full stop because of this quote from your myspace profile.

“I believe in me, I believe in you And you know I believe in love I believe in truth though I lie a lot.” [Emphasis mine.]

Listen up, Aqueel or Michael, I have had way too many scoundrels in the last couple of years to put up with even a second of any of this business. Scoundrels who would lie to my face and yet claim to have a big ol’ truckload of integrity and, like you, believe in truth. I recognize now that people often show you who they really are right away, you just need to learn how to look.

I asked Dan Savage in Episode 88 of the Savage Love Podcast how I could develop a bionic bullshit detector. I really think in the last year I have, and it’s saving me time and energy I’m not spending on scoundrels.

Scoundrely quote aside, the fact is that the rest of your profile isn’t that interesting. Maybe do some caressing of language and upload a few photos and you’ll have better luck in future endeavors.

*I even managed to get a code to defeat their ridiculously rigid gender binaries and sexuality misnomers. Sure, I’ll let someone call me a lesbian when it’s convenient, but ultimately I do identify as queer because I do not acknowledge a gender binary and most of the people I date don’t identify exclusively (if at all) as women.
**Good boundaries are hot.

2009-06-29

New Minisode of FemmeCast Now Available!!

After a brief hiatus, FemmeCast returns with a minisode all about the sweet stuff (or the not so sweet stuff we turn into a good story)!!

Host Bevin Branlandingham is joined by Femme Shark Correspondent Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, hosting live from a road trip journey earlier this Spring.

Miasia tells her favorite story of street harassment, you can find her website and book her bellydancing at Miasia.org
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Bevin relives a drunken adventure in search of an ice cream treat with FemmeCast Sexpert, Rachael, Femme Family NYC Madam of Hospitality Chris and The Gay Dr. Phil.
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Bevin and Leah discuss “cotton candy pink sugar pussy brain” and how you can make it so finding love and good sex doesn’t mean losing yourself, your friendships and values to a content and cow-like existence.

What we’re listening to:

Gravy Train!!!, “All the Sweet Stuff”

Jill Sobule, “San Francisco”

Stay tuned for our next episode, Thinking Big! or A FemmeCast Guide to Courtship, coming soon!

Subscribe via Itunes


Subscribe via RSS

Stream it live in this magic pink widget doohickey or if you have to download it and take it home, right click here and select “save link as”.

Stream it live right here, scroll down in the widget to find Episode 8.5!!

Get this widget!

2009-06-19

The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Starting a Community Group

To: Bevin
From: Someone on Myspace who lives in Idaho
Re: Question

Hi There!

Since the Femme Mafia website is under construction [It’s back up now] I thought this would be the next best place to find what I am look for. I have been reading your blog for a long time and was very impressed as always with your fabulousness and the success of Femme Pride 2009 this last week. This got me thinking about something I have been putting on the back burner for some time and that is starting a chapter of the femme mafia here in good old Boise, Idaho. Your blog post stated that Atlanta was also working as a big sister chapter to help get other chapters throughout the country get started but the link also directed to the under construction page and frankly I’m impatient lol!

A struggle I found in coming out, and recognizing my sexuality and gender identity was that in Idaho I couldn’t seem to find any lesbians who looked like me, dressed liked me, or understood the issues I was experiencing and found important to me. The social circle I run in I adopted from my partner who leans more towards a butch label and I find myself the only femme in a sea of dykes quite frequently. I KNOW THERE HAS TO BE MORE OF US OUT THERE! I was lucky enough to enter the queer blogosphere and find like minded femmes that helped me find my way and realize that just because I suffered from femme invisibility in my home town didn’t mean it had to be that way. A big motive for me is that I want to help extinguish that issue, as well as the other femme stereotypes that have been created for us here.

I guess what I was really wondering is if you could offer any advice on how to get started, a good way to find some femmes and to create an interest in forming a femme community for support, to open discussion and to hopefully create a loud sparkly place in Idaho for us.

Thanks so much for your time!

Hi [Name Omitted]! Thanks for getting in touch!

The first piece of advice I have for you is that community building only requires two or more people with a commonality, who get together to share it. So keep in mind that while you are one, as soon as you start making space for Femmes, they will join you!

I’m really happy to hear that you have found recognition of your Femmeness on the internet. It’s so hard to walk around in LGBT community and feel like you don’t belong. The first time I ever went to Michfest I felt like I was the worst lesbian ever, so alone and isolated because I didn’t know myself or have any language or touchstone to how I presented. In a sea of lesbians I felt like I looked straight. Of course, that was my own massive insecurity talking. There were lots of Femmes running around, I just didn’t know how to see them or identify with them.

The next year at Fest they started the Femme parade and it made all the difference to feeling included, represented and celebrated. Now it’s a huge, yearly event and while Femme isn’t the majority in the mainstream lesbian community, we’re certainly starting to stomp our stilettos and get noticed in lots of unlikely places.

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That’s me at this past year’s Femme Parade with Emma Riot of the Miracle Whips (an LA based a queer femme performance troupe that works to promote models of progressive femininity, to create radical erotic possibilities, and to disrupt conventional notions of sexiness).

The nice part about the internet is that it makes it easier to facilitate community building. I’m a big believer, though, in taking community offline and IRL*. There’s no replacement for the magic that happens when you see yourself (or at least parts of yourself), in person, across a brunch table, in a meeting, at a coffeeshop, wherever you gather. And making that happen, as a community leader, is a gift you give yourself and other people.

You mentioned that pride is this weekend. My suggestion is to pick a meeting place, date and time (public spaces like coffee shops work best, especially for shy newcomers who may not feel confident enough to come to someone’s home) and make a flier. Do it really DIY, on a copier, instead of doing expensive postcards. At big pride events we are inundated with flashy corporate BS** that the homemade 1/4 page copy on hot pink paper will really stand out.

Say something like “Are you interested in starting a Boise chapter of the Femme Mafia? Come to this planning meeting and meet other Femmes!” I would then include the mission statement from the Femme Mafia Atlanta***, which is what Damien and I did when we started the Femme Family in NYC. It gives people an idea of what you’re trying to do and what it can look like. I also strongly advise against using exclusively the term “femme lesbian” because Femme is so much more than that, and the Femme Mafia in particular is inclusive of bisexual, queer, lesbian, dyke, etc… femmes of all genders.

So pass out those fliers, post in craig’s list Women for Women, let other places on the internet frequented by Femmes know about it (the Butch-Femme.com buletin boards are a great spot to find people looking for community). Post it on Facebook and Myspace and have friends of friends tell people. You are absolutely right, there are lots of Femmes out there.

At the meeting, make plans for what people are interested in organizing. Group attendance at events (like drag shows or bar nights) are fabulous and easy to put together. It took us 6 months but the Femme Family did a fabulous coming out party to great effect, and we got to dress exactly as fancy as we wanted to. And our Femme Poker nights (which are Femme only events) are our smallest attended events but perhaps the most meaningful.

My favorite quote about Femme invisibility is from Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha’s keynote address at the 2008 Femme Conference. “Femmes aren’t invisible. People just don’t know how to look.” Your job, starting a Femme Mafia chapter, is to teach them how to look!

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What you need to know about the Femme Mafia main chapter is that right now it’s being run by Debby alone, who has to get through each chapter application. You can email her at femmemafia at gmail dot com for the application. But it will take a minute, so don’t let that stop you from starting a local Femme group in the meantime!
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Me and some of the various current and former Femme Mafia leaders, L-R Debby, Angela, Rachael, Jen and me.

*In Real Life
**Though, Absolut, Suburu, etc… if you’re reading this I would love your sponsorship for my Pink RV tour. Get in touch, femmecast at gmail dot com.
***In the words of my bestie Rachael:

“At its most basic, the Femme Mafia is a progressive, edgy organization of self-identified femmes open to all genders that seeks to foster connections between femmes, reinforce femme identity and provide members with the occasion to bask in their own fierce fabulousness and the fabulousness of others. In a larger sense, it provides us with a sense of community, a forum for the examination of our identities, of how each of us fits in the community at large and of how we femmes as a group can make a place for ourselves. The organization also does a lot to counter the many misconceptions and preconceived notions about what a femme is and what a femme does and to show none of those assumptions are true all the time. Being at a Femme Mafia event and seeing Femme reflect back at you in so many different forms can be a challenging and transformative experience. It can also be addictive. I find that Femmes are hungry for it, and so am I. For me, Femme is an umbrella under which we find solace, and not an exclusionary or restrictive predetermined formula. Femme Mafia is reinforcement, it’s challenging, it’s celebration, it’s discussion and it’s fucking fun.”

If anyone reading this is in Boise and wants to be put in touch for organizing purposes, comment here and I’ll send your info along!

2009-06-10

Femme Pride Week Recap!!

Oh my lord! What a week! Together with the other Madams of the Femme Family, we pulled off New York’s first ever Femme Pride week!

I feel so honored to be in a place and time where Femme is an identity to be celebrated and honored, and the breadth of Femme presentation is acknowledged and illustrated. I hope more and more as we do NYC Femme events that self-identified Femmes of all ages, ethnicities, abilities, fashion inclinations, backgrounds, sizes, etc… feel welcomed and want to be part of seeing the power of autonomous Femmes coming together.

Speaking of Femme was so full of light, love, power and intensity! Femme identified readers from throughout New York City and our special guest, Mira Bellweather, from Michigan, threw down once again at NYC’s feminist bookstore, Bluestockings.

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Mira’s piece on superqueeroes and superhero identities was so great I am going to record it for FemmeCast, so stay tuned.

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Felicia Luna Lemus was incredible, and you can pick up her books (that are so great!) at her website.

I did a piece I wrote about my deadbeat dad and will probably release on the podcast. I got one of the best compliments, from an artist whose work I respect and draw inspiration from, who said it was simultaneously funny and poignant and worked on both personal and broader levels. As I write more for stage, I’m trying to develop a style. Sort of a sarcastic Carrie Bradshaw with teeth and politics. I think Speaking of Femme works so well because clearly there are people who are hungry for the words and performance of Femmes as they explore their own gender/sexuality identity politics and also because Femme artists need a place where we can workshop our materials in a safe environment with other queer artists.*

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My outfit for Speaking of Femme is my favorite summer halter dress (from Re/Dress) and a bouffant/ponytail inspired by Jacqueline from the Real Housewives of NJ. And Zoe, whose dress is from Re/Dress as well.

We had some in between events that celebrated Queer identity and Fat identity, to round out Femme Pride week, which I’ll separately blog.

The other Femme Family produced event was our coming out party. We were very intentional about the elements of the evening meeting with the mission of our organization. We wanted to have it facilitate conversation and community building, so we kept the dance music at house party level instead of “Omigod I can’t hear you” bar level. We wanted to preserve our current Femme history and show the breadth and depth of Femme presentation & Femme allies present, so we had a photobooth with a professional photographer and fabulous lighting. And we wanted to have a cabaret with Femme identified performers doing work that called into the room the incredible history and legacy of the transwarriors and Femmes that came before us.

We did the show at the Historic Stonewall Inn, where the Rebellion happened 40 years ago. If you see the neighborhood now, you know how much the West Village is losing the queer rebellious element. It was nice to bring in some of the queer flash that seems to have started segregating in Brooklyn.

I put together this slideshow that includes a lot of shots from the night and some video from the performance. Since Flickr is a bit picky about longer videos, there are two more videos of different performances from the Cabaret apart from the slideshow. I have to say, I was impressed at the big turnout** and the amazing hotness of the crowd. It illustrated that Femme comes in all kinds of packaging, and I look forward to proving that again and again and again.

Be sure to watch the videos… if only I had video editing software!

The photobooth was such a fun aspect of the night. I’m pasting a couple of my favorites here, but soon they’ll all be at our website.

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Almost all of the Madams.

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Almost all of the rest of the Madams. (And we want more! Wanna organize? Jump right in! Rachel did and she was our stage manager!)

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Me and Jesse, one of the most well-dressed men I know. I interviewed him for Episode 10 of FemmeCast on courtship and butch fashion.

So if you are near NYC there is a vibrant Femme community happening right here! Community is fostered on the internet but it exists in real life!! If there’s something you want to see happen in NYC, join the Madams! If you want to have Femme community, come out!

And you can always start your own Queer Femme organization in your hometown! The Atlanta Femme Mafia exists to be the big sister chapter to help smaller chapters start! New chapters were just approved in Melbourne, Austin and someplace in the midwest!

*I’d love to create a queer femme writer’s group to workshop groups with, but you know. I do a lot of organizing and not as much working on stuff.
**The proceeds go to help the Femme Family have a “Love Your Body” themed entry into the NYC Pride Parade–so gaystream and bodyhating, generally.

2009-06-03

New Gossip Album!

First, an announcement. I go to Atlanta with some frequency, and I am thrilled to announce that I’ll be Femmeceeing the Femmes of Power launch party on July 10, 2009. 9PM at Bellissima . The ATL Femme Mafia and I are putting together a fierce and amazing line-up and I guarantee a Femme Fabulous weekend. Get your posse and plan your road trip!!

In other Queer Fat Femme news, The Gossip’s newest album is set to release on June 22, 2009! I’ve already got my g-cal notification set up!

I really love the Gossip’s music, but I will admit openly my giant heart on for Beth Ditto, the Queer Fat Femme lead singer. I was interviewed about her for the Lez Style Blog and I’ll just quote myself here since I’m a lazy blogger.

Bevin Branlandingham of FemmeCast told LezStyle that “in Beth Ditto…I saw an out, queer fat femme owning her sexuality and hotness and never apologizing for it. Seeing someone else do it who was younger than me only inspired me to hurry up and get through my fat shame and start making something of myself. As she’s gotten more media exposure, I’ve seen Beth challenge notions of ‘cute’, ‘pretty’ and ‘fashionable’ in really hysterical ways. She’s a brave and amazing artist.”

So if you don’t know who Beth Ditto is, familiarize yourself! I only lament that I didn’t keep the copy of On Our Backs that had the hot pictorial of her and her transfabulous BF doing it in a bathroom. That pictorial changed my life.

Via QPDX, I found this adorable infomercial explaining the title of the new album, Music for Men.

Here’s their first single for “Heavy Cross”, which is dance magic as far as I’m concerned. And if you click through the link to QPDX you’ll find a download of the song!

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