FAT SEX WEEK XXL: Meet Fancy Feast Who Made Fat Sex Into a Career
If you are interested in hearing a smart woman talk about owning her body, performing erotic dance, selling sex toys, living a very realistic NYC performance artist life, subverting beauty standards, and finding a place to express yourself while being weird or exaggerated, you should watch this documentary.
Click here to meet my friend Fancy Feast and for a whole lot of other reasons why you should watch the documentary!
Rebel Cupcake Dance Party and Cabaret Returns One Night Only June 19th
Hello beloved readers from all over and NYC friends! After a lengthy hiatus, Rebel Cupcake returns one night only for a special engagement at a huge venue with a lot of intention! This is a great event to come to town for in June! The night before the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island!
Rebel Cupcake is not just a queer dance party, it is an intentionally body positive space where all bodies are good bodies and everyone’s flamboyance is encouraged and supported. It’s incredible dance jams with lots of room to move. It’s in an accessible space with gender neutral restrooms, a rarity in NYC nightlife venues. It has a 30 minute cabaret with three show stopping acts by diverse artists.
Link Farm: Marriage is not a Coupon to Redeem, International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, Supporting a Loved One through PTSD
“Marriage is like a chlorinated community pool that we now have access to. I think that people forget that queers have been swimming in the ocean the whole time. We have always had to be creative about how we create our love relationships and, now that we don’t have to be creative, I hope we still can be.”
The Return of Rebel Cupcake on Friday September 27th and Upcoming Queer Dance Parties
I got the opportunity to use our original venue, Sugarland, again at an earlier time on a Friday night and I’m thrilled to bring it back periodically for new adventures!
The event is from 8-10, with a little bit longer show at 8:30. Still free gourmet cupcakes, a great DJ and a photo booth by Kelsey Dickey!
This month we’re celebrating The Craft! The 90s teen witch dramedy about peer pressure, fitting in and wiccan mischief.
Big Changes for Rebel Cupcake / March 7 Move to Lower East Side / March 16th Yes Ma’am at the Mansion
First of all, both of the Rebel Cupcakes I produced in February got some great press. Check out the Time Out New York gallery from the NO PANTS NO PROBLEM Rebel Cupcake collaboration on February 14. Courtney Trouble was a dream to work with and is such a dedicated and talented artist. I’m so impressed […]
FAT SEX WEEK: Sex Playlists and Fat Appreciation
It is empowering to have an identity. It’s empowering to read about other folks who date fat people in spite of what society tells them is sexy or attractive. It is empowering to recognize that society tells you to be attracted to one thing and to swing your authentic preferences another way and work towards body empowerment.
What I find hard about it is that “chubby chaser” and “fat admirer” are current labels that, to me, seem to be fetishes and not appreciation. I don’t want someone to find me attractive because I’m fat or in spite of being fat. I want someone who is attracted to me because of how being fat is part of who I am and also because I’m a babe. Not because it’s a deviant sexuality to like fat girls.
I love fetishes and open sexuality but since most American women are above a size 14 doesn’t that make us not that unusual?
FAT SEX WEEK: Seven Ways To Be a Good Ally to Your Fat Lover
I’ve been asked by people on different ends of the fat lover spectrum about advice being a good ally. From the “My lover doesn’t see how beautiful she is and won’t have sex with the lights on,” to the “My lover uses the term fat to describe themself but I’ve always thought of that as a derogatory word… isn’t it?” For FAT SEX WEEK I’ve highlighted some of the best ways to be a good ally to your fat lover.
This is all from my limited perspective, you should obviously be in good communication with your lover to find out what works for them and how they operate in the world. Communication is an essential sex toy!
This advice applies to folks of all sizes, not just thinner folks partnered (in all the myriad ways one can partner) with fat folks. And a lot of it is good advice for sex in general, regardless of whether or not your partner is fat.
Just Text Them: Four Text Message Ideas to Ask Your Friend to Go to the Next Level
I received the following comment to my popular blog post, Nobody Ever Died of Awkward: The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Battling Insecurity and Asking People Out:
Many times when asking someone out I have relied on a friend to basically write the script for me. Here is some sample language you can use to ask this lucky girl if she wants to go out with you:
Bringing Woo to Nightlife: Group Solstice Ritual
Rebel Cupcake is certainly one of my sacred places. One of the best compliments I’ve gotten about it is that the person felt like this was the place they felt they could most be themselves in queer nightlife. The December 20, 2012 show being the night before the Winter Solstice I wanted to make it extra special. I put together six acts–four more than I usually book–at the intersections of the theme of Muppets, the end of the world (as we know it) and the darkness transforming to light that the solstice represents. I also adapted a group solstice ritual for use on the stage. The following is what happened.
Brooklyn Queer Dance Party Rebel Cupcake Halloween Extravaganza!
I really enjoy getting to celebrate Halloween every day. I’m never shy to wear a costume. But, in New York City Halloween gets a little overwhelming for me. Often I don’t go out at all on Halloween. Each year since 2009 I’ve produced an early Halloween party–a chance for folks to trot out their costumes in a cheerful environment and not get crushed by drunk people on the subway.
This year I wanted to do a 50s diner halloween party theme and I was inspired to incorporate my favorite fictional 50s diner–the Peach Pit, the 90210 gang’s favorite hang out. Thursday, October 18th it all goes down at Sugarland!
Glitter Spank! Brooklyn Dance Party Rebel Cupcake Thursday September 20th
Y’all, I found a gif on Tumblr awhile ago and was inspired to try it out. It involves two really fun things–glitter and spanking!
A friend of mine in Texas said it’s harder than it looks but I’m all about trying! And lots of glitter.
I booked a couple of notoriously good spankers for the party’s entertainment.
GAY SEX WEEK: The Queer Date-Not-a-Date
The Queer Date-Not-A-Date can be any kind of ambiguous activity a deux planned by you or the other party. Maybe they ask you to hang out and you’re not sure if the intention is a date. Maybe you plan intentional time one-on-one without stating a date intention. When the hang out is over there will be more clarity.