Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2013-10-21

Introducing the Lesbian Love Guru

This summer I had the good fortune to meet Christine Dunn-Cunningham, better known as the Lesbian Love Guru. I was a little bit skeptical (that name is some big britches to fill!) so I settled in, Queer Oprah style, to ask her what she knew about lesbian relationships. I was really impressed with her advice! She had a lot of right-on perspective about how important it is to put work into your relationships.

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She’s launching a new program called “Relationship Magic: How to Re-Ignite, Re-Invent, & Re-Define your relationship to create deeper connection, love, and passion!” Christine asked me to share the program with my readers. She’s going to be giving away 3 videos filled with things you can use to create fulfilling relationships no matter what relationship stage you’re in.

The videos are free and include the following:

How to create more quality time with your significant other
How to avoid common relationship problems
How to create more passion in your relationship
How to get your needs met easily

She’ll also be doing a paid program for lesbian couples ready to “Completely re-ignite, re-invent, and re-define their relationships to create deeper connection, love, and passion.” This will be on a members-only website with 8 online video workshops, an interactive forum, and 6 group coaching calls with Christine, the Lesbian Love Guru, where members will get additional content, support and be able to ask her questions directly.

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More from the Lesbian Love Guru: “In the program couples will learn how to re-invent their communication patterns so they can work as a team to create a fulfilling and fun life together. I’ll show them the secret to re-igniting the passion in their relationships even if it’s been gone for years. And, I’ll help them create a deeper connection where both partners get their needs met and feel supported in their relationship. I’ll also be giving away a bunch of bonus content including my ‘Date Your Wife’ program.”

I had a chance to look through some of the Date Your Wife content when I met Christine this summer and it was legit–a lot of magic is lost when we take for granted the kind of intimacy and fun created in the context of dating.

The video content is free, relevant to folks no matter what relationship status they’re in and you can sign up here. You can also comment on the videos to win prizes, like $25 Amazon gift cards.

The Lesbian Love Guru also offers individual one-on-one coaching and couples coaching. She’s lively, inspirational and fun! She’s also a graduate of the Tony Robbins Mastery University and a Certified Extraordinary Coach, Peace Process Master Practitioner, Reiki Coach, Instant Miracle Coach, and Certified Rapid Coach. And she knows her stuff because she’s been there and did the work to turn her own marriage around to create a fulfilling and satisfying partnership.

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Christine and her wife Liz.

This post was in partnership with the Lesbian Love Guru but all words and sentiment are mine!

2013-06-07

Introducing Bandelettes, a Sexy New Way to Prevent Thigh Chafing

This blog post is brought to you in partnership with Bandelettes. Like me, Bandelettes agree that people of all sizes should get to enjoy as many fashion opportunities as possible free from chub rub. The words and opinions are all mine.

Ever since I learned there was something one could do to prevent chub rub while wearing dresses I have become somewhat of a magpie about remedies and prevention strategies. I have a whole round-up post about the causes and myriad prevention strategies for thigh chafing.

Bandelettes are a strategy that doesn’t involve creams, lotions or reapplication. They are bands of stretchy lace 6″ long and silicone grippers that fit on your thighs where the chafe is most egregious and prevent the rubbing.

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I was a bit dubious at first, having been wildly disappointed by thigh high stockings in the past where the silicone gripper was meant to keep them up and failed horribly. However, I was pleasantly surprised by how well Bandelettes performed!

You order Bandelettes based on the measurements of one thigh. You just take a tape measure and wrap it where your thighs are the chaffiest (where the Bandelettes will go) and send that into the wonderful women in Staten Island who captain this endeavor. Bands come in 5 sizes – A – 21-22″, B-23-24″, C – 25-26″, D-27-28″ and E – 29-30″. They also are ready to sell size F – 31-32″ but with different lace pattern not as shown on pictures.

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My thigh is about 29 inches. so technically I’m an E, though they sent me the D and that actually fit me really well. And everyone wears their fat differently (never forget the myriad of body diversity within size fat), and everyone, even skinny folks, can succumb to thigh chafing.

I got my test pair last weekend when we had a freak late Spring heat wave.

Bandelettes are light–like tiny pieces of lingerie for your thighs. And they are actually pretty sexy. The beige ones are only a slight bit darker than my very pale thighs, but I think the black ones would look like cute lingerie peeking out from under a mini skirt or short shorts.

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Imagine how hot this would look with a fat, round ass.

My tender, chafe free thighs are scared to try new things, so I started with just a trip to the store. I put them on and adjusted them to the biggest part of my thigh, using the fat at the top of my inner thigh to hold onto the lace. They fit snugly there and were really comfortable. It didn’t feel like “nothing,” I was always aware that they were on me, but it was kind of like underwear on my thighs and not uncomfortable.

It felt much more free than wearing bike shorts, thigh shapers or even leggings. After walking to the store, I hung out in them for the rest of my evening and they felt fine, they never bothered me.

The ultimate test was the next day when I wore them to the beach. They lasted the whole day, through sweat and walking a really long way and held up great. I was a little nervous at one point that they might shift around but they never did. I’m sold on Bandelettes!

The packaging warns against wearing them over lotions or other creams because it could degrade the silicone. Hand wash, etc…

Bandelettes are so tiny they could easily fold up and tuck into your purse. They weigh less than my tiny travel body glide (my go-to clear chub rub prevention cream) and don’t melt in hot weather, which is why I took them to the beach!

At $14.99 Bandelettes are a bargain. Literally a third of the cost of a good pair of thigh shapers, and just a bit more than a tube of body glide.

Bandelettes also rule because, if you’re in a sexy situation, having some pieces of lace on your thighs is a lot sexier for spontaneous sexy times than having to excuse yourself to wriggle out of a pair of compression thigh shapers (how many times have I hastily shoved those in the bathroom of a queer bar, praying we weren’t going to walk very far).

I only wish there was a more gender-neutral version of Bandelettes, because as we know, chub rub affects all gender presentations!

I highly recommend adding Bandelettes to your summer arsenal! I’ve added them to my tips for preventing thigh chafing post, along with a great new natural remedy I picked up from another fat femme friend!

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2013-01-04

2013 Intention and New Year’s Eve Look!

Oh, New Year’s Eve came and went and it was a blast and a half. It’s amazing how hard it is to get people to be willing to work on New Year’s Eve. Typically I have a pretty big posse of folks who want to do cash nightlife gigs, especially if it involves getting paid to dress scandalously, but it’s a lot harder on NYE. I, personally, LOVE working on NYE, love having only one place to go, having already set in stone my plan far ahead of time. I’m a Capricorn, it’s my way.

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I also love creating a space without a ton of ridiculous noisemakers. (When Nicky texted me about getting them I was like, “That’s not my style.” She brought some of those popper confetti things anyway.) All photos in this post are by Kelsey Dickey.

My outfit was also pre-determined with the help of Catherines! Catherines asked if I wanted to try out a social occasion look and I said, sure! I was delighted at the amount of vavavoom I was able to score. My outfit was perfectly glamorous and magical.

My two main considerations for plus size party girl New Year’s Eve look were WOW factor and versatility. Number one, I was in charge of counting down to midnight so there’s a moment where eyes are on me. And then also I was going to have to bustle around taking care of party host things like the champagne toast, the weirdly long bathroom line, and all the other trouble shooting I won’t get into but I broke three nails that night and hauled 20 bags of ice while wearing a pin-up wiggle dress. Also, since the Yes Ma’am venue is partially outdoors (I LOVE our “chatio”) I needed to be able to be comfortable chatting outside without having to grab my coat from the coat check.

I selected the Valentina Illusion dress by Kiyonna from the Social Occasion category at Catherines and I was super thrilled with it! I have liked Kiyonna’s designs for a long time and it is fabulous that Catherines has them available. The shipping was really fast and the 3X fit me perfectly.

For a New Year’s Eve wiggle dress I define “fitting perfectly” as a comfortable purple sausage casing.

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I lament I didn’t get a good full-length shot with our photographer but it was a wild party and there wasn’t room for a long shot!

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My co-hosts also looked amazing and I like how Nicky, DJ Average Jo and I are intentionally matchy matchy here.

Catherines also hooked me up with an outerwear piece to complete the look. The Purple Wool Capelet was PERFECT for flouncing back and forth to the chatio. It also buttons in this way that the cleavage still shows when you’re wearing it, an important consideration for WOW factor.

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I took the capelet for a pre-NYE test-run to brunch. This photo is not by Kelsey.

I also love this piece under a coat, because I find that no coat really keeps me warm enough in winter, I usually need a wool layer under my down coat. But because the fur collar is so girthy I don’t need a scarf!

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The cold chatio, with the table for the NY Toy Collective.

Thanks to Catherines I had a really magical fashion New Year’s Eve and am super thankful!

Yes Ma’am’s third party was so great. I was thrilled and touched that so many of my friends came through, what a great crowd to spend the first moments of this brand new baby year with!

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I also love to talk about New Year’s Revoltions/Intentions on my blog and I’ve finally settled on mine, only a few days late. (I got sick and am still recovering.)

This year I’ve decided to “Know My Own Strength.” I struggled with choosing this as an intention for a minute because I wondered if it was going to incite the Goddess to rain down shit upon me the way she did during my Saturn Return. I know I never get any challenge that I’m not actually strong enough for. Also, it’s one of the major emerging themes in the memoir I’m writing, that I didn’t know my own strength. I’m learning a lot from the process of writing the book and some of the stuff I’m learning are things I didn’t realize about myself. Like how much I never really knew my own strength. So I am imagining a 2013 where I meet challenges head-on, knowing I have everything I need to meet them.

Leaning into challenges helps to keep me sane and peaceful in the face of anything. Including the ever important ability to ask for help when I need it!

I hope your NYE was everything you hoped, taught you something about yourself (I sure learned some stuff) and had elements of WOW and glamour and glitter and that your 2013 intention setting has you ready to love yourself right in the coming year!

2012-12-06

Queer Fashion Guide to Buying A Stylish Hat, A Guest Post by Nicky Cutler of Goorin Bros.

One of the most popular blog posts in 2010 was my Queer Fat Femme Guide to Butch Fashion where I just listed all the things I like to see on a masculine-of-center human being and I think it worked well in terms of inspiring more queersexuals to try out a two-toned cowboy boots.

I’ve been noticing how I respond to hat-wearing queers and it is usually pretty positive, so long as the hat fits well and works well on the head of the person wearing it. Often I notice that if the hat is a bad fit or shape for the person it kills the whole look. So I decided to ask my pal Nicky Cutler (co-producer of Yes Ma’am) who works for Goorin Bros. what to keep in mind when purchasing a hat.

This advice goes for folks of all genders, though I am presenting it with a special dedication to those dapper gents who wish to take their outfits to the next level. Omigoddess, a good hat. Swoon.

I love Goorin Bros. for their multi-gender styles and versatility. Their hats go up to XXL and fit big heads with big, thick hair like mine!

Thanks to Nicky for their exhaustive, empowering advice!

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Nicky Cutler, guest blogger and Goorin Bros. merchant, wearing a fedora.

Here are a few things I always ask my customers to keep in mind when shopping for a hat:

1. Have in mind what is most important to you, fashion or function?

2. What purpose is your new hat going to serve? Formal evenings, casual outings, date nights, apple picking or versatility?

3. Have an idea of shape (i.e. fedora vs cadet vs flatcap) that you envision yourself in, but then keep an open mind to try different styles.

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Yaz in a flatcap selling Victoria on some wine and a fancy floppy for Winter at the Goorin Bros. sample sale in Brooklyn.

4. For Fall and Winter, I always ask my clients about their wardrobe, but also other accessories they wear. Sometimes the hat is the last of their purchases so it is important to match the hat to their accessories (and not necessarily to their coat). No one likes to look like a crayon. Matching color of hat to the coat can be overkill. Make choices that show contrast. For example: a black peacoat looks professional and clean with a grey scarf, black leather gloves, and grey low profile. Or sometimes matching the hat to their shoes work too! Whiskey color shoes, black trench, and whiskey colored fedora.

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I totally went for this floppy for the Winter. I love that it looks like a fancy sun hat but is really warm, the brim can be popped up and it is tall enough that doesn’t violate my pompabang.

5. Dont ever model a hat to something you’ve seen in a magazine. Hats are like any other type of clothing, not all shapes will look great with all faces. Have an idea of style, but try different cuts and fabrics that might suit your shape and coloring better. For instance, the pinch on a hat should echo your jawline. More of a pinch and less of a brim, would be more suitable for a person of a narrow defined face. Less of a pinch or a wider brim hat would work well with a rounder face. There are always exceptions, of course, depending on attitude and what you feel you want to pull off.

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Tuck Mayo models a fedora.

6. If you cut and grow your hair out often, your hat will fit differently. If you’re planning to have a major hair cut, wait until after to purchase your hat to make sure it fits you nicely for right now. A haircut can sometimes mean the difference of a half- full size. With hats, as in many things in the queer world, size definitely matters!!

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Hana Malia effortlessly modeling a cloche.

7. Location where you will be wearing the hat the most. If you’re traveling from out of town, perhaps you live in Florida but are shopping in Boston in December. Chances are most of our choices will be heavy wools and fabrics that may not be comfortable to wear in hot humid weather. Make sure you choose fabrics that are suitable for your climate.

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Victoria modeling a straw cloche. Foxy, right? Great for warmer climate Winter styles.

8. Is your hat a fashion statement? Need to pair it with a specific dress or suit? Bring in, take a picture of, or wear your attire to the shop and try different looks. Different hats can change the entire look of just one outfit. For example: Jeans and a t-shirt paired with a fedora is fun and playful… maybe for going to a casual get together. But the same jeans and tshirt paired with a cadet = everyday casual dress for getting from point a to b in the big city.

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Glenn Marla in a cute cadet!

9. Make the hat your own! Personalize it – Add feathers or hat pins… Wear the hat – Don’t have the hat wear you!

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10. Set aside time to dedicate to picking out your perfect hat. Put trust in your merchant’s suggestions. Have fun and experiment! Play around. Examine the possibilities of the particular hat choice with fit and placement (i.e. tilt on the head, brim down or up, etc.)

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11. Don’t be a afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

I especially echo #11, stepping out of your comfort zone is really key style advice. Goorin Bros. hats are made in the USA and Goorin generously sponsored the 90210 trivia contest at Rebel Cupcake in October! Thanks Nicky, thanks Goorin!

For blog sponsorship opportunities, email queerfatfemme at gmail!

2012-10-23

Window Shopping with Simply Be

Hi friends! This featured post is brought to you in partnership with Simply Be, as an introduction for my readers. The words are all mine, but Simply Be and I both believe everyone deserves to look amazing at every size!

Simply Be offers clothing in UK sizes 10-28, US 8-26.

I’m super into the Gok Wan retro lingerie collection for Simply Be!

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This bra and high waisted brief combo is so killer! I also really appreciate that the photographs for the retro collection are pin-up styled because, lez be honest, that’s the look I’m going for with my underthings!

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I also love the Gok Wan Divine Outline shaper. I love shapers used as tools and not for body shame. Last night I performed in a performance art tribute to Taylor Swift and reinterpreted the Taylor Swift song “Speak Now,” her wedding busting up song. And I dressed like a bride. And dressing like a bride means bridal shapewear and that kind of stuff is no joke. I came home with some intense marks on my body. I was actually longing for a piece like this outline shaper that’s just about squishing in the right place and not about digging into me with a ton of extra boning. Fashion! (P.S. Shapewear is great for staying warm in the Winter!)

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A friend of mine was just raving about Simply Be bras and I deeply adore a Marilyn Plunge bra. I think the essential garment I wear every day is a plunge bra, regardless of how cleavagey an outfit happens to be.

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This Joe Browns Honeycomb Knit Dress is to die for! I love this for workwear or hanging out. I actually am totally adverse to regular sweaters and prefer sweater dresses where I get to choose where my waistline is.

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Great for going out, the Stud Detail Tunic Dress! I think it’s super sexy and edgy but is still something you can wear to your significant others’ corporate cocktail party.

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I love retro looks in modern fabrics and the Ring Printed Dress With Collar blends this well. The peter pan collar is so sweet and I still think the dress is sophisticated and not totally twee.

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The Joe Browns Fur Collar Coat is really close to the coat I wear all the time in the Late Fall. I created mine by pairing a vintage fur collar with a jaquard coat, but this is actually all the work done for you. And I get compliments every single time I wear it. This coat with the rose details is incredible.

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Simply Be also carries a ton of wide calf boots, including Legroom Boots Extra Ultra Large Calf Width. That’s a lot of superlatives but they are super foxy!

2012-10-19

New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket: Sleep Tea

First of all, if you are a subscriber to the blog on a blog reader, I’m sorry to say the RSS feed was out of commission for a couple of weeks. My friend Bridget is a hero and has fixed it. Thanks Bridget!!

In this episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket I talk about my cat ALF’s near death experience and how this has amped up my anxieties and how I’ve been having trouble sleeping! And so I bought some Sleep Tea from my favorite tea dealer The Herb Shoppe and I do a little experiment about whether it will actually help me sleep.

I didn’t have this list of ingredients while I was filming but I just called the Shoppe and they are so helpful. Here’s what’s in it. You can totally order it from them maybe not on the website but you can call the Portland store and get them to ship it to you. I love local indie businesses!

Sleep Tea: Lavender, rose, chamomile, peppermint, spearmint, hops, valerian and passion flower.

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I’m excited to welcome a Blog Benefactor who is a pal of mine. Jonah, whose candlemaking I detailed on my Road Trip Recap from the Bay Area, is back in business this Fall making holiday candles.

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In the words of Jonah:

Hanukkah is rapidly approaching, beginning on
25 Kislev/Friday December 8th!

Narrow Bridge Candles is a Jewish Ritual Candlemaking Project in support of the full Palestinian Call for Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS).
www.bdsmovement.net
Profits go to support the Stop the JNF Campaign.
www.stopthejnf.org

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100% Beeswax, hand dipped candles from hives in Oakland and Berkeley, CA. No dyes or perfumes.

Go to www.narrowbridgecandles.org
to order your candles today!
$24-$44 Hanukkah Candles (45)
$16-$32 Shabbat Candles (4 pairs)
$4-$8 Havdallah Candle

Early Ordering Deadline: 17 Cheshvan/Friday November 2 (I’ll put an extra Havdallah candle in your box to thank you for your timely order.) Final Ordering Deadline: 2 Kislev/Friday November 16 (I may take orders after this date but reserve the right to decline based on my capacity!)

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Support awesome anti-zionist candle making!

2012-10-09

Queer Artists Make Great Queer Gifts

I have had the privilege of some Blog Benefacting lately and I want to share with you these gems from queer artists, either to gift to someone or to treat yo’ self!

Elisha Lim’s New Calendar and Portraits

Elisha Lim, the dapper illustrator and author of 100 Butches, has been making these incredible queer calendars for a few years now and this year’s creation is highlighted in the following tender you tube video that actually made me cry.

“I call it the Comfort of Queer Family Wisdom and it’s for anyone who could use a little tender love and history because we are not alone.”

We can all use tender love! The calendar is beautiful and full of queer faces.

“This is all-out, gloves off, direct action TLC. These are the voices and role models that I sought out for comfort and strength. This is the calendar that I’d wished I’d had: full of family trees and loving words to remind you that you belong. A lot of the advice is also for facing racism.”

The 2013 calendar is only $20 and is available now in Elisha’s Etsy Shop!

Also, Elisha is offering custom portraits for only $100! What a great gift for yourself or someone else. Elisha has been promising to draw a portrait of me for years and here it is!

Artwork by Elisha Lim

When you hire Elisha you get your portrait in black and white, a choice of colours (because Elisha’s Canadian, your colours get an extra u for free), and jpegs that you can print, multiply and use anywhere you like. And up to 3 changes!

I love supporting queer artists and this is a great, very personal gift!

Brownstargirl Tarot: snarky, compassionate intuitive reading, by a brown, queer, disabled babe

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Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha is a good friend of mine and an incredible Tarot reader. She has given me a few readings over the last four years and it always helps me to understand my life a lot or a little bit better. A reading once predicted my girlfriend was about to dump me! True story!

Leah can read tarot from anywhere. “Video Skype has broadly expanded things for me, and I have read for clients in Germany, Toronto, New York and more- so anybody, anywhere, can get a phone or Skype reading. And folks in Oakland can still come see my in person in my gorgeous North Oakland home.”

Leah charges sliding scale rates, $40-$100. She also does Numerology! She uses the Collective Tarot which is my favorite deck ever, it includes lots of people of color, fat folks, dis/abled folks, people of all walks of life and the cards were reconceived by a Collective of folks interested in taking the patriarchal and oppressive elements from the Tarot.

Late night tarot reading for myself with new deck. Fleshed out some but mostly what I had intuited. Going through a dark time right now that turns fabulous.
The Collective Tarot cards are so beautiful! I totally used them to help me decide to go to the Bay for Thanksgiving.

I don’t do readings where I tell you, “You’re going to meet someone with red hair at 7-11 next Tuesday who’s going to change your life.” Instead,what I offer is an intuitive reading that can clarify what’s going on in your life, how your past history, legacies and choices are affecting your current decisions, and what your sources of strength and options are as you move into your future. If you have questions about lovers, healing, money, moving, destiny, work, school, depression, big or little life decisions- or if all hell is breaking loose in your life – tarot can help you figure out what is going on. For me, the idea that the future is unwritten, that we write it with our choices every day, and that we have personal and collective power while still living within systemic oppression, are important political beliefs that infuse my work.

Get a tarot reading from Leah! You can email brownstargirl at gmail dot com to inquire and read more information and testimonials at her tarot webpage.

Feminist Playing Cards

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My pal Mamone from Riot Grrrl Ink gave me a copy of the Feminist Playing Cards to review. A production of Homoground, they are super rad! 56 feminist musicians drawn by 14 artists! Including the incredible Cristy C. Road!

The illustrations are gorgeous and include the following bad ass artists: Patti Smith, Beth Ditto, Poly Styrene, Nina Simone, Kathleen Hanna, Robyn, Brontez Purnell, Liz Phair, Yoko Ono, Loretta Lynn.

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I love playing cards and it can be really hard to use “novelty” cards because often they change the suits (I tried playing a game called “Swish” with my friends with my A Bug’s Life cards and was vetoed because the suits were acorns). But these are totally traditional suits (with the addition of women’s symbols) and are super easy to work with.

So much work, collaboration and love went into this project and it is clear when you take a gander at the spread.

Each deck is $25 and totally gorgeous and worth it. What a wonderful gift for the musicians, feminists, or poker afficianados in your life! Buy them here!

If you’re interested in becoming a blog benefactor on QueerFatFemme.com, which helps me run the site, let me know! QueerFatFemme at gmail dot com

2012-01-24

Everyday Glitter: Everything is Coming Up Babelandingham

Oh, sweet readers, it has been a bit since I updated and my very good reason is that I have had so much intense change in this giant tidal wave of awesome. With change often comes a whole mess of work to do, but the other side of this mess of work is a big fat glittery rainbow. Also sometimes the everyday glitter is really really big pieces of sparkling confetti.

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Serpentina from the Coney Island Sideshow at the Beyond Visibility: Illuminating and Aligning Femmes in NYC Cabaret.

Glitter The First: I believe being open to possibilities means being truly open, trying new things you thought you would never do. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, that line of thinking. So, in embarking on a job hunt I was truly open to a lot of possibilities and careers. And then the sort of unbelievable happened–I was offered a job working at a boutique firm specializing in LGBT legal issues.

This was basically my dream job in law school and I never thought I would actually find a golden corral full of gay magic but I did. And I’ve been there a week and really love it. I learn new stuff every day. I am also working with some amazing folks and for a senior partner I really admire personally.

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Anyway, this is a BIG WIN for Babelandingham. I am very excited for this development in my professional life. Also the office dress code is “dapper” and I’m having some serious sartorial satisfaction in this environment.

Glitter the Second: I had spent New Year’s Day saying to my friends at this wonderful birthday party for Heather how happy and peaceful I felt even though I didn’t have a job and there was so much uncertainty in my life (this was before I got the job offer). Then the next morning, as though a joke by the Goddess, I got a call from my landlords saying they wanted to terminate our lease and we had thirty days to move out.

Now, I know my rights and they didn’t give me proper notice, so I had more than thirty days from that phone call. But I also knew I had a finite period of time to take action. I flipped out a bit, since my savings would be entirely extinguished by the cost of putting a deposit, first and last months’ rent on a new place. Not to mention the hassle of finding a new place with three (adorable and well-behaved) pets in New York City.

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And then things sorted themselves out. My friend Sarah Jenny was moving out of her place where she lived with my good friend Damien. I am able to take SJ’s room in a home I already feel very connected to and have loved so much already. SJ gave me her boxes from her move and together with boxes from Mackenzi’s store the logistics of the move have worked out pretty well. Other than the agita of packing my entire life up in an unexpected hurry, it is a really good change.

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SJ’s boxes are a great guide for what to pack next, since the contents are already on the side.

I haven’t been very good at asking for help with this process (I realized the last time I moved I had a lot more help because I was asking for it), so that’s a practice I need to get into for the unpacking and painting process.

But what an opportunity to practice leaning into change and embracing it! When I was life coaching with Lynnee Breedlove he used to tell me that the best way to deal with change was to lean into it. I could be whining about what a pain in the ass it is that my landlords are terminating our lease or whatever, but I’m able to turn this into an opportunity for a huge energy shift in my life. That’s amazing!

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It’s the apartment where I made all of my birthday wishes!

Also, as I embark on full-time office work once more, maintaining space in my life for my art is really important to me. Damien has long been a personal hub in my life for art and activism and I am really excited to make a home with her, a home which I hope fosters my creativity and helps me keep moving forward with my art. Plus the time structure of having a 9 to 5 hustle is good for my writing practice and I’m really hoping to get the first draft of my memoir finished by the end of the summer.

But in the meantime my new 60 hours a week at the office plus packing means I’m basically MIA from my social life. Soon to remedy!

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Me and my future roommate, Damien!

Glitter the Third: Rebel Cupcake was a critic’s pick in Time Out New York! We had a huge turn out on January 12th. I never believed when I was a fat, depressed and suicidal teenager that I would someday be out, proud, and an event producer hovering above the Gay and Lesbian section of a New York magazine holding a cupcake. I always thought getting skinny was going to make my dreams come true. Turns out it was embarking on the life-long process of learning to love myself that was what brought my wildest dreams to me.

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February 9th: Dance Music Sex Romance is a Prince Tribute show and on the bill is Ben Lehrman (Prince on the ukelele!), LeRoi Prince and an almost confirmed fat burlesque act I’m really excited about.

March 8th: New Wave Rebel Cupcake! With a 20 minute feature set of The World Famous *BOB* and Princess Tiny & The Meats’ homecoming show! This is going to be an incredible show!

And check out this really fun promo video for Rebel Cupcake by the awesome Laura Delarato!!

Glitter the Fourth: I’m presenting a workshop “Love For EveryBODY” at Ivy Q, a conference at Brown, on February 18th. If you’re there please stop by to say hi! Once I have more information I am going to put it all on my calendar page.

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Glitter the Fifth: I am a poster girl in the Stand 4 Kids Campaign! It’s geared to stand in solidarity with fat kids and in opposition to hate speech masquerading as health initiatives that unfairly target fat kids instead of promoting health for every kid.

Stand 4 Kids Campaign

Glitter the Sixth: At the recent Rebel Cupcake Damien surprised us with a live recording of Shit Femmes Say! An internet meme right on stage! Here’s a video of it!

So my life is crazy busy but crazy awesome. And this doesn’t even begin to encompass all the awesome happening right now. I hope your 2012 / Year of the Dragon is starting out on a winning note.

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Blog benefactor Domino Dollhouse is back for another month of blog benefacting! Tracy, the babe behind the Dollhouse, just launched a line of vintage style lingerie that I think folks who like plus size lingerie are going to drool over.

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The High Waisted Vintage Style Garter Panty is so hot! And a bargain at $39.99. I wear this style of garter belt and I find it considerably less fiddly.

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The Sweetheart Overbust Corset is something I am personally lusting over, as I totally need a new red corset as mine sadly broke. (“Need.”) $99

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Domino Dollhouse is now carrying bra and panties sets! For $14.99!

Don’t forget she also stocks tons of cute clothes and accessories!

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AND she has partnered with one of my favorite designers, Sweetooth Couture, carrying the Gumdrop Empire Waist coat in an exclusive colorway–purple! So foxy
and goes up to a 6X. $179.99 and your purchase supports two incredible independent plus size designers working to make fashion more accessible for fat folks.

The special coupon code for QueerFatFemme.com readers is still available for another month! Enter “QFF15″ (case sensitive) at check out to get 15% off your Domino Dollhouse order!

Thanks for supporting the blog, Domino Dollhouse!!

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