Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2012-04-17

Sleep is my Party Drug

Many folks will be familiar with the show Downton Abbey that has swept through the hulusphere. The first season is on Netflix watch instantly, second season I think is on hulu plus now. Get on it if you like things that are nighttime soapy and vintage realness it is totally that sweet spot shows like Mad Men fill.

Anyway, in the first season Lady Grantham says to her eldest daughter Mary that she should get a good night’s sleep. Mary quips, “You always say that.” And Lady Grantham says, “That’s because it usually does.”

I keep thinking about this scene lately as I cultivate my sleeping habits amidst a lot of life schedule changes.

I notice how well a good night’s sleep treats me the next day. How much self care there is in turning off the internet at a “reasonable hour”, whatever that means. For me that means setting myself up to sleep for 7-8 hours. Feels like a luxury given how much I need/want to accomplish in a given day and how much play time I want to squeeze in there. But accepting my human limitations is one of my great spiritual lessons and, unfortunately, I know that means prioritizing sleep over all those zombies I want to serve cheeseburgers in my clickie clickie game.

I have a lot of admiration for people who can sleep very little and thrive. In accepting my own human limitations I am accepting human diversity and props to my siblings in the struggle who can handle life, art, activism, family, work with very little sleep.

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I’m pretty excited about this sweater dress. I got it vintage for only five bucks, right before it got too warm to wear it.

I have had a ton of conversations lately with folks about how much fun we’re having going to bed early. (Usually when a topic is coming up in conversation that’s how I know I am brewing it for my blog.) Just this morning my pal Austin was bragging that he got to bed at 10:30 the night before. Time Out New York called me a Plus Size Party Girl and I know that to be true. However, I also know it is true I need and want to sleep. The tried and true way that I’ll be totally on my game when I go out is to get a lot of rest the night before. A good night’s sleep is my party drug.

Sure, there are times in my life where I’m all go go go, one social engagement after another. But if I don’t factor in necessary sleep I will inevitably get myself sick. At that pace, also, I certainly don’t enjoy things the way I want to. And what is the point of living an incredible life without the time and faculties to savor it?

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Macy agrees.

Lately I’ve been going through one giant fiasco after another. Seriously, the shit storm has been Saturn Return in proportion, yet I am 33 and supposed to be past my Saturn Return.* Personal life, financial life, work life. All requiring attention, solutions, strategies, and going to bed with the faith that everything is going to feel better in the morning. And it usually does.

I’ve been hella anxious lately. There’s not a lot in my life I can control right now but the stuff I can I’m totally going to control what I can. So I gave up coffee again and get enough sleep.

Sleeping a lot on the weekends has also helped me cope. My emotions have a very tight correlation to my body and all the stuff I’ve been going through is exhausting. Relenting to that and reveling in the joy of sleep has been great. A weekend night of 10 hours is really amazing to me these days.

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“Well, nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep.”

I’m always checking in with myself regarding depression, since it runs in my family and I am prone to bouts of it (and the oh so obnoxious seasonal affective disorder where just the lack of light bums me out). Sleeping a lot can sometimes mean I’m depressed but I know right now I’m just making sure I can be the best Bevin I can be under the circumstances.

So. Self care. Sleep. Sleep as a means of coping. Sleep as a means of energizing to enjoy the most out of parties and life. Here’s to lots!

*If any of my readers out there are astrologers and want to barter for a reading I would be so down.

2010-12-08

Blog Contest: Lesbian Love Jams

The latest episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket is a pretty rare event caught on film. My friend Elisabeth did not set out to do this but I believe she out gayed me for approximately 7 minutes. Not that being gay is a contest, since being gay is truly the greatest team sport of them all. However, I am told by many people quite often that I am the gayest person they know and I cannot wait to show them how Elisabeth is even gayer.

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Typically my gayness is expressed through lesbian cultural references. A subtle Ani DiFranco quote cast into the wind to see if someone might pick up on it or let it fly. The warbling of an Indigo Girls song at just the right moment. My purchase of a labrys necklace that is actually sharp just this past summer at the age of 31 and not as a relic from my queer youth. (Though I did just locate my pride rings from college and just as soon as I polish up the chain I’m going to wear them someplace to horrify some been-there-done-that-over-the-rainbow gays.)

Elisabeth delights me to no end because she does this even better than I do. In fact, at the very same party we filmed this at the slightest hint of something related she busted out her journal from college and began reciting a passage about her ex-girlfriend. So Lez!

During the same party we were wondering what the queer youth of today are listening to to bond them as a queer community. By this I mean that I learned that in the 70s and 80s at Girl Scout Camp, when one person wanted to know if another person was a Lez, they would ask them if they listened to Cris Williamson. Girl Scout Camp is where I first learned about Indigo Girls during a joy ride in a friend’s mom’s borrowed mini van. When I was coming out in the late 90s Ani DiFranco was the tie that bound. It certainly factored in the “I see you, you see me” silent acknowledgment of sexuality between me and my first girlfriend (because I was still almost entirely closeted at that time).

So who is the artist now that the closeted gay youth can use to out themselves to each other? My investigation continues.

As a group of early thirties queermos we were also talking about the ultimate lesbian primer cd. If you could only include one Dar Williams song, one Ani song, one Melissa Etheridge song, one Sleater-Kinney song, etc… which would you choose? This is clearly a Solomon’s choice since you don’t actually have to exclude the remainder of our herstorical lineage, now that we have ipods, but it is an interesting conundrum to think about.

So here we have the aforementioned Episode. The blog contest is this, comment with your list of Deep Lez references from the video and the person who has the most the earliest (so if there’s a tie the person who comments first gets it) before December 20 at midnight Eastern time wins a cd of lesbian hits made by yours truly. The winner will be verified by Elisabeth herself.

Also in this episode we experiment with those magic fruit tablets that change your taste buds.

P.S. Lesbian Love Jams v. 4 is the name of an actual cd that Elisabeth and friends made for my boss at Re/Dress as a thank you for a gift certificate donated to the Lesbian Love Octagon.

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