Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2020-07-22

The Tidy Cats Breeze branded litter box pads are 500% better than the Amazon Basics pads

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bevin @ 10:27 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm. Also all the links to Amazon on this earn me a tiny commission from whatever you buy when you enter Amazon through that link. Thanks for helping me run this blog!)

Dear Kids:

I remain obsessed with my cat litter box, the Tidy Cats Breeze system. I don’t know if there will ever be a system that tops it, but I’m ready to know. I hope when you’re adults and ready for cat companions that there has been an even better litter box invented.

Last year I got excited when I bought these generic “Amazon Basic” pads for the box. They are far cheaper than the branded Tidy Cats Breeze box pads. Every penny counts when you’re an entrepreneur, but it was scarcity mindset that kept me using the pads when I first moved into the Lavender Queen, my trailer.

Now that I live in a very small space, I can assure you, the branded Tidy Cats Breeze box pads are far superior.

In my castle in Los Angeles, I had the cat box inside a big cabinet with a hole cut out. (My mom, your Nanny, made it and gave it to me when she downsized.) I never smelled the pee on the pee pad with the Amazon Basics, but I did need to change it more frequently.

In the fairy cottage I sublet when I first moved to the Olympic Peninsula, I had the litter box in a little vestibule off the hallway. Didn’t notice a smell often but every now and again I would smell cat pee and spray Nature’s Miracle “around” the floor to “refresh” the environment.

When I moved into the Lavender Queen and the most logical place to keep the litter box was in my small bedroom, it would smell like pee in like 3 days. I kept “refreshing” the carpet and it took me about three weeks to realize that it was the pee pads–they didn’t trap odor at all!

I knew the solution was likely switching back to the original pee pad. But I just let scarcity mentality rule for awhile and I suffered! Why??? It’s a little over $3 a week for pellets and branded pee pads. $12 a month is still less than I was paying in actual clay litter that tracks all over my house. It would be unbearable in this tiny space to have to sweep like that, I still just pick up the pellets when they get out of the box and toss them back in.

I lived with that cat pee smell way longer than I should have! I deserve to have an environment that smells awesome–nothing like pee! I want anyone coming into my space to only know I have a cat because they met him!

Anyway, I give myself props for finally getting around to buying the branded Tidy Cats Breeze pads . I changed the pad after one week and never smelled pee! They truly trap odor!

Kids, I hope you never settle for an environment that doesn’t support you thriving.

xoxo,

Mom

I’m learning a lot about boundaries living with my cat during quarantine.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-21

Feel the fear, do it anyway

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bevin @ 3:01 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I just got really scared to send an email “putting myself out there” and decided to take a break and shift my focus.

Fear, discomfort, and awkwardness are all symptoms of resistance. If there’s anything I can tell you about living your best life it’s that feeling those things and doing it anyway is the key.

I say this at every Fat Kid Dance Party class, we cheer for awkward because life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Plus, it’s so much fun to hear someone holler out “I feel awkward” and cheer them for doing it anyway. It feels super awkward to do a thing for the first time and we experience that a lot when we do new movement modalities.

I used to have a sticker on the back of my phone that said “action cures fear” which is totally true. Either you’re doing the thing or you’re thinking about doing the thing, creating more resistance.

It’s like jumping into a pool when you know it’ll be cold and uncomfortable until your body temperature regulates to the water. The faster you go the faster it feels better.

When I was producing nightlife shows and a performer would confess to me that they had stage fright, I always said this: Your nervousness says that you care about your audience. That’s a good thing. Go out there and love on them and give them a great time.

So now that I’ve done this pep talk for myself by talking this out with you, I’m going to go sit down and get this email written and breathe and send it. I hope you always walk swiftly into your fear and love on people.

xoxo,

Bevin

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-19

Today was a harder day in quarantine

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 8:48 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I took a break today to go play ping pong with my mom. She bought a moveable table set from a facebook ad over the winter (dreaming of summer days and ping pong) and we inaugurated it at her birthday party two weeks ago. I figured I’d keep making her vision a reality and up my mirth on a day where mirth felt a little hard to access.

It feels like time is hurtling by. March of this year felt like the longest month ever because our entire paradigm kept shifting. Word of the virus, word of a potential shut down, word of shutting down, word of really shutting down. In my mind this all began March 15th.

It was scary but seemed doable. I was grateful for all the emotional maturity and stability I had developed in the past year. 2019 was uncertainty central and covid quarantine only brought more uncertainty. I had a strong routine and had been making great strides and decisions towards my emotional stability.

I remember thinking that by July things would be opening back up. I don’t think that’s actually incorrect–I was able to get Biscuit Reynolds groomed on Friday because they are phase 2 re-opening and Washington hasn’t had to roll back to phase 1 like California.

I definitely thought July would be like, more fully open than it is. And since this second wave of covid has come on so strong I feel like this is the time everyone’s most vulnerable. I opted out of a very tempting weekend away with some dear ones of mine simply because I think it feels too risky to fly commercial.

I did leave it open if I find someone with a private jet to loan me. Truly, I feel safe in her far remote neck of the woods in the desert, just as I feel safer up here in so far north I can see Canada from where I’m sitting right now.

But also. If time is going by so swiftly, I can probably wait until Fall. I miss my friends and hugs and lounging in floaties on the grass smoking grass with babes at the Glowing Goddess Getaways. In my alternative pre-planned 2020 I would be on tour right now with Biscuit Reynolds in a Class B RV going to GGGs and stopping at friends between and having a couple different weeks as a teacher at girls self esteem camps (I had booked one in Maine and I figured I could find at least one more).

Instead, I’m bringing summer camp vibes to all of my weekly online aerobics class subscribers by filming aerobics in the woods.

I’m so wildly grateful I live full time essentially at summer camp. When I lived in the city I always felt like I needed regular recharging in nature. Now that I know what it’s like to have that battery always full I’m like, okay I’ll dip into cities sometimes but really I gotta get back and look for new mushrooms in the forest.

I have some grief about what I thought 2020 was going to be, and I am also doing my very best to appreciate where I am and what I am doing instead. Everyday can feel like vacation if you let it–this is why I have been working on my emotional stability and maturity. But, even still, today was kind of a rough and grumpy day. I am segment intending my way to an early night’s sleep.

One thing I can always count on: things always feel better in the morning.

xoxo,

Mom

I haven’t bothered to look up what this Christmas plant is called; I call it what it looks like. The Goddess is so good to make the foliage perfect for Christmas in July in this blessedly cool forest. Today was the hottest it’s been all summer at 74 degrees.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-18

Moving towards life or away from life

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Bevin @ 11:07 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I read an incredible article by adrienne maree brown yesterday. Incredible. If you’re not my kids 25 years from now reading this and cruising this blog go read it right now.

She talked about life, and whether we are choosing to move towards it or away from it.

I immediately thought of this unmasked 20 something year old woman marching through the grocery store the other day. She had a big Jesus is my Savior sticker on her car I noticed when I saw her in the parking lot. I wondered if she thought Jesus was her cloth face covering.

I was again pondering the mask vs no mask trend and if it’s coming from a place of not really caring if other people live or die or not caring if they themselves live or die. If some mask refusal is really about a low-key death wish or a low-key murder wish for people who don’t value others.

We already know the disproportionate effect covid is having on Black and Latinx folks. I have still only ever seen white folks online or in person refusing to wear a mask. Maybe it’s murderous white supremacy?

She talked about cancel culture and what’s toxic about it. According to brown in her article, cancel culture has gotten especially rampant during Covid.

A friend of mine asked my advice today about a cancel culture issue she’s potentially facing. The best thing to come out of my experience with cancel culture is being able to help people I care about navigate the waters of cancel culture.

My work in the world is about helping people get free mentally and physically. Understanding how to think about a call out and cancelation is really helpful when you’re navigating it. Mental fortitude and understanding what’s happening when a bunch of people are coming for you on the internet is key. I’ll be giving everyone who asks my perspective on cancelation a link to this article.

I sincerely hope that by the time you’re reading this that we’ve moved so far away from cancel culture that you need me to explain what that means.

And I’ll send you to this epic, brilliant video from Contrapoints explaining what cancel culture is and how it works. I hope it’s a dusty relic in 2045!

Always be too busy building something beautiful to tear anyone else down. And remember that no person is disposable.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-17

Socializing in Covid Times

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 2:02 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Yesterday was a delight–in many ways I found Festival Magic in quarantine that typically I only experience when I’m at an in person festival experience.

First, what’s a festival? I would define it as a gathering that creates its own culture. In my experience it’s a multi-day, sleepover outdoor type experience. Somehow integrating human connection and connection to nature.

Early experiences of this were at sleep away camp. Being at camp was the only place I ever felt I truly belonged and, consequently, that I could ever be my true self.

As an adult I began going to a women’s music festival every year and fell in love with the culture and connection. Seeing the same faces every year (thousands of women gathered), growing up alongside folks, having the most fun in a space that felt safe and nurturing for me. That was so special.

In 2018 I started teaching at the Glowing Goddess Getaways, a women’s self care cannabis retreat. They are only 2 days long but really pack a festival intimacy.

Something wonderful that happens for me in festival land is wandering along a path and experiencing connections and falling into new groups of folks. Your whole day can be planned out and suddenly you’re just making new friends and going on an adventure.

I definitely didn’t think this kind of thing could happen virtually but I came across it yesterday and I’m so grateful!

A self care practice I started this Winter was making a connection with 3 friends a day. This involves a lot of work to make happen–I reach out to a ton of friends in order to get calls lined up. I’ve also found connecting with old camp and festival friends to be especially nourishing. Even if I don’t know them well we share memories of a favorite place.

Each of us sharing intimacy with a place creates an intimacy between us. I happily hop on phone calls and virtual cups of tea with friends and connect beyond time and space. It’s so cool.

Yesterday I finally got a chance to catch up with Lisa, CEO and co-founder of Tokeativity. Tokeativity is a global feminist community for active cannabis consumers. As someone who works in the intersection of cannabis and self care, this was a great connection (had three people suggest I connect with her) and she happens to be a friend from my old Festival days!

Lisa and I maybe had two conversations in person at Festival but I recognized her and was excited to hear more about Tokeativity! She invited me to a 7PM Toking Hour with the Seattle chapter so I could connect with the local leaders and see what it was all about.

I was delighted! Breathing exercises, mild yoga, dance breaks, an ASL lesson, smiling smoking women from mostly Seattle (also the Bay Area, PDX and Alaska!) And afterwards we shifted into an after party lounge so we could connect and get to know each other.

It so happens on my calendar after this party I was scheduled to have a phone call with Miranda, another friend from Festival who also knows Lisa. (She was one of the three different folks who told me to connect to her!) Miranda happened to be on the Toking Hour!

She texted me and suggested we just keep hanging out in the video chat room with everyone. It was like “running into each other on the path” and she was so right!

Eventually it was just the three of us in the chat room and we burned it down for hours, just chatting, connecting, doing some psychic readings, I got into both of their astrological birth charts.

We all reluctantly left at 11:30PM because me and Lisa both still had work to do but I felt SO nourished. Truly, like festival energy.

It seems unlikely to find that special magic spontaneous hangout person to person energy from online spaces and yet it exists. I remember an Alice in Wonderland feeling when I’d wander a path and find a party, and then wander off and find something else going on.

I’m still buzzing with all that social energy! I’m an ambivert which means I recharge either alone or with the right energy from the right people. This was incredible.

I’m so grateful to Lisa for her platform of Tokeativity to make something like that possible. I’m so grateful to Miranda who I’ve loved connecting to about everything witchy, feminist, healing and Grateful Dead (she’s an original Dead Head). And I am grateful for my diligent self care practice that had me reach out to both of them during quarantine to connect! What magic!

I hope you prioritize and treasure your friendships! Nourishing relationships are truly the greatest form of wealth you’ll ever know.

xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-15

I finished my first round of Grateful Dead study

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 11:53 am

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Listening to a lot of Grateful Dead lately. When people ask what I did during quarantine I think it’s fun to say I studied the Grateful Dead.

When I first moved into the Lavender Queen (the name I gave my trailer, which feels like living on a boat) I couldn’t get internet and spent 6 weeks winding down without access to Netflix. I switched to listening to Grateful Dead and on lucky clear nights, stargazing.

To say that was a life improvement is an understatement. I had been Dead curious for many years but never really got into it because I just didn’t know the songs. So I followed a protocol laid out by Andy Cohen to completion and now I know lots of songs!

It was a great curriculum (I love that it exists on an instagram highlight, but I adapted it to a Spotify playlist). I was surprised that Andy’s favorite song became my own favorite song–Terrapin Station. I could (and have) listen to that song for hours. It’s incredible. And the nuance in each performance!

My post-Cohen curriculum is to listen to each show I have access to (thanks Spotify) and get to know the songs that weren’t on that initial list. I enjoy shows a lot more when I know some of the songs and can get excited about new to me songs that pique my interest.

I’m still seeking to understand what a Dead Head is because I know it’s more than just the study and appreciation of the music. I think it’s cultural, connected and has a lot to do with the history of the movement and the people involved.

I don’t know at what point I identify as a Dead Head but I know I want to at least go to a live concert whenever those happen again. Documentaries to watch, probably books to read.

It has felt really fun and soothing to study something that isn’t of this time. And like good art when you plunge into it, time and space exist apart from this plane.

When there’s so much chaos going on, so much bad news and struggle, it’s nice to wind down the day with a transcendent experience.

It’s also cool to have embarked on a course of study to completion. Outside of professional study (like group exercise, physiology, tea blending) I have spent a lot of my adult life dabbling in things but not really investing in development of enthusiasm and skill with persistence.

Wish I had a tie die sweatsuit to go along with my new endeavor, but alas, not in the budget yet.

Weird, potent times we’re in.

xoxo,

Mom

The Summer sunsets are so late here (I think this is almost 10PM) and it’s just a beautiful experience to add music appreciation to the mix.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-14

The littlest slivers of joy can be a big deal if you let them

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 9:43 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Friends in the hospital for non covid illnesses. “Traveling right now could be lethal.”

California just rolled back to phase 1 reopening.

Feels like everything changes by the minute. More hard news… And even still. I found some real joy.

Tonight, after I finished teaching my aerobics class in the woods; I ended up losing all track of time just walking and dancing and enjoying the splendor of the forest path I walk every day.

Somehow it felt new again because I brought a level of delight and enthusiasm to it.

Mindfulness practice has helped me segment experiences so life doesn’t have to feel like an endless bummer when life is lifing at me.

Look for moments of joy in whatever little things you can that’s the best stuff. The slivers of ordinary glee.

Xoxo,

Mom

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-13

Life is better when you’re curious

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 2:38 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I was just reading in a book about how to generate more enthusiasm about things. I hope that when you’re reading this I’ve had a long life and you’ve gotten to know me, in which case you’re probably like, “How is it possible Mom needs any help generating enthusiasm,” because most folks know me to be an enthusiastic person.

I’m just a lifelong learner and I believe in a strengths based approach, which means focus on what you do well and get stronger in it. Curiosity is a great way to increase enthusiasm and build on your strengths!

Growing up as an only child I can remember times when I felt bored and lonely and times when I felt curious and enthralled. I used to spend whole days building forts out of cardboard and a steak knife in the tiny back patios of apartments we lived in.

I can also remember feeling bored as a latchkey kid, and whenever I remember those boredom days it involves watching tv and not feeling interested in it. I think the cure is curiosity.

If you can find one thing to get curious about and follow that line of inquiry, it helps develop enthusiasm, a true antidote to boredom.

I was just feeling kind of sad about covid, with relentless reports of higher infection rates happening as places re-open. I wanted to find a way to feel hopeful.

I have been really close with a crew of friends in Atlanta since before the outbreak and I realized of all seven of us none of us has had symptoms and several have had negative covid tests. Kind of cool and hopeful that a group of folks diligently following social distancing and public health protocols are still doing well.

Mississippi is changing their flag due to the pressure coming from the Great Uprising. That’s hopeful news I found out after inquiring.

Hopefully you’ll remember that you can always find some enthusiasm for life if you look for it. And you can always find something negative or to worry about if you look for it. You have the choice of what you look for.

xoxo,

Mom

I woke up with Biscuit Reynolds laying on my chest. The prayer I say as soon as I open my eyes is this: “Today is going to be a great day! God is guiding and directing my steps. Her favor is surrounding me. Goodness and mercy are following me. I’m excited about today.” It’s a game changer.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-12

Life is Lifing at you

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Bevin @ 7:50 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Life is always going to life at you.

It took me until about a year ago to realize that I frequently assumed emotionally that once I got through this next struggle that I would cease to struggle or experience problems. Pretty much, there’s always something.

But, since I’ve survived all of my hardest days, and life hasn’t stopped lifing, that’s what motivates me to get judicious about what I consider a “problem.”

My inner people pleaser and controller deeply wants to identify problems at every turn. Criticism as a form of love is an ancestral pattern I am ending in my generation, which centers from my thought life.

Asking myself, “How important is this?” when I perceive a problem or someone else wants to make something a problem. The real stuff is what life is lifing at you (friend in the hospital, family member in hospice, job lay-off, rugs pulled out from under you) and the other stuff is a distraction from your purpose.

Everyone’s purpose is different, everyone’s bullshit threshold is different. But the less you get way laid by it the more peaceful life can become.

Find the sweetness in the hard times, the joy in the moment, the peace of nature. Stargaze whenever possible, especially when you are going through a tough time. Cannabis and psalm 65 helped me a lot late last year after seismic changes in my life. I just needed hope and to believe it wasn’t the end and it helped me keep going.

Today I’m thinking about life lifing because of a lot of life lifing to folks around me. I’m interacting with other people asking myself “How can I bring value to this person,” because I don’t know how much life is lifing at them. It’s helping me stay really kind, during this pandemic where fear of covid wants to create a fear between people.

Super odd time. I hope you take me up on stargazing, and I hope you wish on every shooting star you see.

xoxo,

Mom

Up at 9am to help mom unload a full truck bed of alder chips. She does a lot of epic garden projects.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-11

I’m starting to understand why people won’t wear masks

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 5:02 pm

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Since my last letter I’ve really gone down the rabbit hole of curiosity trying to figure out what is causing people to be reckless about mask use and social distancing. This is my methodology as an artist, leader and healer. I get curious about something and follow those curiosities while seeking to understand.

Yesterday I went out into the world. First to the closest town, about a half hour away from my forest home. Then I drove an hour to the closest Trader Joe’s because it had been 4 months and I needed Everything But the Bagel seasoning.

Washington State’s leadership has been committed to data and science to guide their regulations and I’m so glad. We recently went to 100% mask requirement in public establishments. Which is fantastic because it helps prevent transmission.

I was standing in line at the local food Co-op waiting for the water filling station and had the opportunity to observe who tried to come into the store without a mask. Within the 20 minutes I was standing in the foyer, masked up and social distancing in line, I heard two different white women argue with the person at the door.

The person at the door was so polite when she told folks coming in without masks that they are required to have one or a face shield on in order to enter. They even provided a face shield or a mask if folks didn’t have one–free of charge.

Neither of these women was willing to wear a mask. One woman kept going on and on that she spoke to the Governor’s office and she “had their number” and the Governor said she could do what she wanted to because she’s disabled.

The woman at the front offered that someone could shop for her in the store, but the non-mask wearer refused so the woman went to get a supervisor, who took the woman outside of the store to tell her whatever she did that made the non-mask wearer give up and leave.

The second time it happened the objection was, “My mask is my immune system.” And she said, “I guess none of these people [gesturing to the masked shoppers] has an immune system.”

Wildly ignorant. I also saw a video of a third white woman at a dentist’s office refusing to get her temperature taken or wear a mask.

I am loathe to believe in binaries, but I do think that we’re in a spot in our society (at least in the US) where we’ve got folks who are masking and socially distancing and folks whose personal autonomy is more important than the effects their choices have on other people.

My friend and brilliant herbalist Colelea said that she thinks the enormity of what’s going on is greater than what people can accept. It’s kind of like not wanting to feel the pain and stubbornly refusing to understand what’s happening.

At the outset of the quarantine I felt a lot of compassion for folks in active addiction that requires being out in public like sex/love addicts, gamblers, alcoholics who go to bars. That kind of thing. Addiction is frequently about distraction from pain and being forced to be at home… there’s nowhere to go but inside.

I have to wonder if that’s the same inclination that’s getting people to break quarantine? I’ve already known folks who had folks in their quarantine pod put them in danger because they were sneaking off and tindering.

You don’t wear a mask for yourself you wear it for other people. It’s like avoiding drunk driving–obviously you’re putting yourself in danger but folks who didn’t make the choice to drive drunk don’t deserve to die because of your poor decision making.

Anyway, I have no grand answers except that what these whiny white ladies have in common is a level of panic and self-righteousness in their voices that screams to me their pain at a loss of control.

Here’s to being a “people first” person and being part of collective work so we all have a better shot at staying alive and keeping the most vulnerable around us alive.

xoxo,

Mom

Driving on a road trip (even to the grocery store an hour away) was a nice break, but I was super glad to go detox from people in the forest last night.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-10

I found myself craving the News lately

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 12:18 am

(This post is part of a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

I stopped listening to or consuming the news in September, 2016. I had been slowly realizing that the news felt as toxic to me as I once experienced diet and weight loss ads. I think it was the swift uptick in hearing the voice of then candidate Donald Trump and the fascination with the horse race but not the actual issues of the election.

I don’t live in a special bubble with no news. I do still connect to friends and have enough smart folks in my life that the right information comes across my path. I read articles from trusted news sources if I think it will benefit me or I have curiosity. I watched the murder of George Floyd because a trusted journalist friend posted the link to CBS news.

If I really need to know something there are folks who know to directly communicate that to me.

There’s a very small percentage of the information shared on the news of something I “need” to know. In fact, there’s way more than you can possibly consume of news available and most of it is designed to scare you so they can sell more advertising.

I bring this up simply because I found myself craving news recently. Mostly about the pandemic and the mounting death tolls, the record setting days of new Corona cases many of the early re-opened states are posting. Florida’s caseload went up so much it’s more than 1,900% in a week.

I got curious about what was happening because re-opening feels so unwise. I have so much privilege to work from home, I obviously don’t have my event income which has been a hardship, but I have intentionally shifted my focus to things I can do online.

I truly wonder about the people who are going to restaurants and bars, who are partying on Fire Island and who are putting themselves and others at risk.

This is like a group project we all started and a lot of us are wondering why so many people got up from the table. I wonder do they feel invincible? Do they think this is made up? I understand people needing to go back to work and I don’t judge them, but I am really curious about the partiers. And I say this as someone who was dubbed the “Plus Size Party Girl” by Time Out New York. I get partying, I love to socialize. But not if it risks death or serious injury to me or others.

Is death not serious to people? There’s a quote that roughly goes, “Tough times create tough people, tough people create good times, good times create weak people, weak people create tough times.”

Anyway, that’s what’s on my heart today. A genuine and rare desire to consume the news to gain more understanding about what the effects are of the capricious attitudes of a few folks.

I think the majority of people are still staying home. But with talk of opening schools again in just a little over a month that feels like another spike waiting to happen.

I guess we’ll see. I’m still living my life with the optimistic attitude that I’ve seen the end of the movie and we win. If we haven’t won, it’s not the end.

xoxo,

Bevin

Daily there is new life in the forest, and fresh decay. Nature forever teaching me about life. Spend at least as much time meditating than watching the news.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

2020-07-08

When I’m Grieving I Turn to Two Things

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Bevin @ 11:06 pm

(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)

Dear Kids:

Two things that help me with grief the most are talking to my friends and dancing. Right now a lot of people in the world are grieving. Grief about actual death (we’re at 131,000 deaths reported in the US–not including those that weren’t diagnosed which has to be thousands).

Plus regular other human mortality experiences with funeral services put off due to covid quarantine. Without grief rituals it can be harder to move through the difficult feelings.

Plus all the things 2020 might have held for people that got canceled including graduations, weddings, retirements, making a living wage as a performing artist, making a living period. Change is also full of grief, like losing a job.

Dancing, especially opening up my shoulders, is so good to move feelings through me. All of our emotions just want to pass through us. 90 seconds is all it takes for a big feeling to pass. Movement helps those feelings pass before they get to the big feeling part.

Plus endorphins take the edge off grief.

And calling. Connection with other people. It’s why we’re on the planet, to be in relation to one another. All the most life satisfied people talk about how their relationships matter most. Talking to people takes the edge off grief, too. I don’t not talk about what I’m grieving but I don’t focus on it. It helps to be distracted by listening to other people talk about their life!

Call your people. Dance.

Call someone you haven’t talked to in years. Dance.

I think this is the best kind of simple live your best life advice I could give you, for real.

xoxo,

Mom

Sometimes I can see bats diving among the tops of the trees and it is the most magical thing.

This blog is entirely supported by Patreon. Every dollar counts to making this work sustainable and maintaining the archives of this blog. Thanks to my awesome Patronus supporters (as my mom calls them) for co-creating with me!

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