(This post is a series of daily letters from me to my future children reporting from the emerging paradigm.)
Dear Kids:
One of the coolest parts of being over forty is that I have the wisdom of experience to match with my foresight. When I was a young adult I was full of very strong, firm opinions. Those have waned some and become a few core principles and values with a release of caring about the rest of the stuff that doesn’t really matter.
In sum, the more I know the more I realize I don’t know and I don’t need to care so much about the small stuff.
I’m also much more willing to change my mind about things and open to new ways of looking at things with less of a need to snap to judgment. A great centering question series I learned was “Will this matter in 5 weeks? 5 months? 5 years?” That really helped take the rigidity out of my thinking.
The song “I Hope you Dance” by LeeAnn Womack debuted when I was graduating from college and starting law school. I thought it was incredible cheesy but loved to sing along with it anyway.
I heard it again about six months ago with fresh ears. I realized, given that I have a renewed sense of hope that I will have children someday, that I in fact really hope that all of these nuggets of advice in the lyrics are things you would follow.
Children follow your example more than your words. If there’s something that I want you to do, I need to be doing it myself. I audit the lyrics every time I hear it to ensure I am really living all of that out.
I will say this, the lyric “I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance” is a challenge! It can be so daunting for me to think about how far I need to climb, how much more there is to go not just in my own businesses/life but also in the social justice work of dismantling racism and saving our democracy. (I don’t write to you much about the 2020 presidential election but it’s a shit show full of voter suppression right now.)
I continually fear the mountains in the distance, but I also shift my mindset frequently. Lately I’m using a technique called segment intending by Esther Hicks. For each next segment of activity, I audit my mindset and calibrate to a higher vibe and set an intention for how I will feel in a certain period of time. It works when I remember to use it. And it helps reset my energy when anxiety over BIG PROBLEMS starts to flare.
Anyway, the fear might never go away, but what I want you to understand about that lyric specifically is that the mountains don’t need to be solved today, just break it down into next right action. And, even when you feel fear, I want you to do it scared. That’s what courage is, action in spite of fear. (And, action cures fear.)
I hope you dance!
xoxo,
Mom
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