Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2017-12-15

I’ve Been Going Live on Facebook Everyday for Five Months and Here’s What’s Up!

In July PopSugar released a video about the aerobics class I created, Fat Kid Dance Party (For All Sizes to Heal from Body Oppression). The video went viral—it has had almost 4 million views to date. Since it was mostly hosted on Facebook my fan page Queer Fat Femme was my social media account that saw the biggest bump.

With this bump in likes I wanted to figure out a way to engage my new and longtime followers in a new way. I also had been thinking of ways of taking what I was teaching with movement at FKDP and deepening those lessons about self love and healing from body oppression. Something outside of aerobics class that uses additional teaching modalities to light a healing path for folks.

I can’t NOT photo credit! It’s a part of who I am! But my friend McKay who took these great photos doesn’t want photo credit so I’ll just leave it as a casual mention with lots of gratitude.

Enter Marisa Murgatroyd, business coach and motivator. My pal Christine Dunn (an effective relationship coach) had been posting about Marisa’s work. I seriously considered attending Marisa’s conference Message to Money Live last February but I didn’t have the funds to attend.

In late July Marisa created a 21 Day Facebook Live challenge. It was free to join and if you went live on Facebook for the 21 consecutive days of the program you would win a free ticket to Message to Money Live! At $1,000 value, this was not a small incentive for me.

I wasn’t ready to start going live every day. I had a ton of reasons I could have used to keep from embarking on this live journey. Timing! I was about to go visit my mom in a remote area of the Olympic Penninsula, what if her wifi was spotty? I didn’t know what exactly my live videos would consist of. Some days I am not in any shape to “perform,” how easy would it be to maintain my authentic voice? A cornerstone of my “brand” is being exactly who I am, no compromise. What if I ran out of things to say? What if no one tuned in?

When I began my journey to love my body I wasn’t ready. I just started. I used the tool fake it ’til you make it big time until I finally just did love my body without having to fake it. There’s a great business strategy, start before you’re ready. Same concept. The incentive and the timeline were a great opportunity so I did the thing, joined the challenge and started doing daily Facebook live videos. I could have easily sat in that resistance space spinning what if questions in a procrastination hamster wheel.

It has been almost five months and the results have been fabulous. In those first three weeks I ended up having another viral video. I was in a coffee shop answering media interview questions about Fat Kid Dance Party, literally writing about the effects of oppression on the body while a woman next to me said some horribly fatphobic things to a group of five people. Not one person stood up for justice in that moment and after I got done staring at her in shock I felt a surge of rage. I couldn’t sit there one second longer without going off on that woman, so I took a self care walk, leaving Dara with my computer.

I had the commitment to go live every day and here I was in a self care crisis rage spiral and I decided to get messy. The video of me processing that moment has 74,000 views. That was more than enough of a high five from the Universe for me to commit to continuing this daily live video project. The viral video also won me an additional $500 gift certificate for Marisa’s other coaching projects, I’m excited to use it to help develop the Fat Kid Dance Party digital workout platform once the pre-sale crowd fund (launching next week) finances my first video project.

Going live on Facebook every day answered a lot of the things I had been ruminating. It gave me a great outlet to engage people around the core tenants of what I teach at Fat Kid Dance Party in a much deeper way. It was on Facebook so it deepened the connection to all those new and long-time followers, and there’s really nothing like eyeball to eyeball contact to develop trust and intimacy. I have been a blogger for going on fifteen years and doing a live video takes me as little as five minutes including posting it, whereas a blog post takes me a minimum of five hours (usually more like 20 on a meaty post) between writing, editing, html coding, photos and social media amplification.

It has been a fabulous record of my life, a great way to share information I have learned in service to making the world safe for people to love themselves, and a wonderful training ground for my true career goal—a self love talk show. In many ways, it already is my self love talk show. It’s like a lab where I get to work on my on camera skills, develop my verbal storytelling, and learn what engages my audience the most.

Since my daily live show goes with me wherever I travel I get to share the cool places I go and great conversations with my incredibly wise friends. I have always wanted an Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown element to my talk show/reality show. (I just did a tour of Dolly Parton’s Chasing Rainbows museum this weekend!)

Since it’s live and daily, I feel less need for it to be polished. I don’t wear make-up every day so I don’t wear it in all of my videos. I let myself be messy, especially when I’m going through hard times. I’ve also learned that I don’t come off nearly as messy as I feel on those days I’m not as confident, which is a relevant lesson for everyone, we’re probably not as messy appearing as we feel.

It requires a level of daily self reflection that has allowed me to do more deep personal work and reminds me to look for lessons and tools. I think it makes me super relatable and my audience engagement is totally enhanced. I’ve gotten new Reiki energy healing clients from it and it has helped me work through new offerings as I develop as an entrepreneur looking to support my family with my art and healing work.

My friends have shared with me that my live videos feel like they are hanging out with me and that they love them because it’s an easy way to keep up with what ever-bustling Bevin is up to. I absolutely LOVE that! I want my viewers to feel like I am a healer, ally and supportive bestie in this journey with them, so the fact that my friends reflect that it’s like hanging out with me IRL is the best feedback.

My self love talk show was always a dream of mine and now it is a reality, I didn’t realize it until about three months into this project when the theme of my daily live videos emerged. I am in a continual process of deepening my self love and I deal with issues that come up that are so relevant to any step in the journey. Start before you’re ready applied to me as much in 2002 as in 2017.

This Saturday, December 16th at 5:30PM Pacific I am going live with my first ever holiday special. I LOVE the holidays so here’s another dream coming true. This year I have a musical guest, La Louma (if you love Sleater-Kinney or layered beautiful instrumentation get into her!!), we’re lighting the menorah, doing a solstice ritual and I am evoking Dolly vibes by having a raffle you can win from your living room for tons of Dolly fan art. Buy tickets here!

By turning on notifications for my live videos I am inviting you to have tea with me every day!

At the end of that PopSugar viral video I say, “When you love yourself you can move mountains.” Loving yourself makes everything easier. Join me daily! You can click the “follow” drop down menu to turn on notifications when I go live so you don’t miss an episode or tune into the ones that are most relevant to your journey.

2015-09-10

I’m Totally Having So Much Fun on Snapchat Here’s Why

It’s no secret I adore social media. I prefer to curate my own information streams because I think that corporate media is designed to create scarcity mentality, fosters insecurity and just works to ad big dollars to the insecurity industries.* Also, I like people’s stories, I like learning about new places and I love seeing lots of adventures through people’s eyes.

Instagram has been a favorite for some time, but lately I’ve gotten into Snapchat! (I’m @queerfatfemme there and all the other stuff I use.) I tried it once before when it first came out and it was okay but not great. Pretty social but I didn’t have a group of friends who were doing it so I didn’t stick with it and uninstalled the app.

bevindollypaloozagreenslipMe at Dollypalooza this year! Photo by Ves Pitts.

Recently a couple of bloggers I like mentioned that they were Snapchatting and my friend Devon Devine’s fun videos convinced me I should give it another shot. When I got a new phone I decided to try it again.

Snapchat is so different now and I’m really enjoying it!

Here’s the deal:

Record a video of up to 10 seconds, or take a photo that will be live on screen for up to 10 seconds (you choose the length). Add text, emojis, or draw on the photo if you want. Add a filter/skin and voila! You have a snapchat! (Here’s my tutorial about how to use Snapchat since I found it hard to figure out at first.)

Here’s a video as part of a little diary about why it is awesome to have a Femme roommate.

A video posted by Bevin (@queerfatfemme) on

Your snap can be sent directly to your friends on Snapchat or you can publish it to “My Story” which is an aggregate of all of your snaps for the past 24 hours. Once it is 24 hours old it disappears forever!

The idea behind snapchat is that it is kinda throw away media. It’s not meant to last forever, so people are really casual, they lip sync, they dance, they show you where they are vacationing or walking down the street, they goof off with their best friends, they introduce you to people, lots of cute snuggly animal moments. In some ways, I find it to be more intimate social media because you get a sense for someone’s personality rather than something intricately curated like perfecto instagram pictures or a well-edited blog post. I would call it “hang out media.”

Some of my favorite things to watch on Snapchat are hotel room tours, house tours, cute pet moments, cool travel places, snap chatting (where folks talk to the selfie camera and tell us about something going on for them), outfit ideas, ten second drag acts, day in the life montages. I especially like when my real life friends talk because if they are my friends I probably miss them and like the opportunity for a virtual hang out!

One of my favorite things about publishing to Snapchat is geotagging! There are these skins that pop up for your videos or photos (when you’re in the editing screen, swipe right) that are specific for your location. They are very cute! New York City has at least one for most neighborhoods I’ve been in. For example, my therapist’s office is at Columbus Circle, so when I swipe right I can get one for Columbus Circle, a couple for the Upper West Side, sometimes it gives me Hell’s Kitchen, and I always get Manhattan. It’s cute!

bridgetboxFrom my snapchat tour of Bridget’s Femme apartment.

I love geotagging when I’m traveling just to show off and play with the geotags where I’m at. When I went to Normal, Illinois this summer (this is a real place, Dara’s brother lives there) I was really disappointed when I thought that Snapchat didn’t have geotags, and was delighted when they eventually showed up as options during my third hotel room snapchat tour video!

There are lots of places that don’t have geotags yet, I learned on my road trip through Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania and New Jersey this summer. It’s fun to watch Snapchat develop and add more. Right now I’m visiting Webster, FL for a wedding and there could (should) be a geotag for Florida and perhaps one for “Swamp Life” out here!

Here are some things I’ve been doing over at my Snapchat story:

Tours of where I’m at (I travel soooo much sometimes, especially in the last few months)
Narrating my favorite parts about NYC
Nightlife adventures—the last couple of weeks I’ve been going out a lot!
Cute videos of Macy
Tiny diary-like snippets (e.g. a couple weeks ago I talked about how like how I leave blank space in the calendar intentionally so I have time for mini side adventures)
Goofing off with my friends (When I hang with Victoria chances are she might be scantily clad and when I hang with Jacqueline she will usually do a boob shimmy for my snapchat viewers)
Dance party at the Bed Bath and Beyond (that happened with Dara)
A tour of a sparkly and amazing Femme apartment (Hi Bridget!)
Wedding venue I officiated

jacquelinemacyJacqueline with Macy, before her Snapchat shimmy.

On Monday at the beach I had my friend Jo tell my snapchat how to body surf—a skill set I have not learned!

I’ve also really loved the special Snapchat content! Snapchat has an NYC local story that is really cute and seems to change daily. There was an adorable Animal Rescue one recently, a back to school one that focused on a day in the life of a high school, a really great “Life on the Farm” story, I loved the Snap story for Ramadan (at Mecca), and all sorts of music festivals I’ve never heard of.

There’s also Snapchat exclusive content from other media providers if you want to go down that rabbit hole. The National Geographic one is generally interesting and shout out to the Food Network Snapchannel because a friend of mine oversees the content there. I now know the secret to perfect hummus every time thanks to Snapchat. Also People Magazine does some throw away content (almost every time I look in on it there is a story about Taylor Swift).

Here’s a cute video I saw on Lady Quesa’Dilla’s Snapchat (@ladyquesa_dilla) that I asked for her to download so I could show off backstage at Dollypalooza on Instagram:

A video posted by Bevin (@queerfatfemme) on

Here are some folks I am enjoying following on the Snapchat:

Blogger Nicolette Mason—she’s always on the go to private meetings she can’t talk about, going out with her hot wife, and talking about how perfect her adorable pug Frankie is because Frankie is, in fact, totally perfect.
@nicolettemason

Blogger Gabi Fresh—she’s got a wardrobe to die for (naturally) and she does really fun “what’s in this box” reveals when she gets mail. She’s also a big traveler and always doing cute hotel room tours.
@gabi.gregg

My fav Real Housewife Kim Zolciak-Biermann—she has a totally adorable brood and they are always doing something fun. Also, her family’s chef is a hot dyke who does animal rescues and I totally love her show Don’t Be Tardy on Bravo.
@kimzbiermann

Blogger/model Nadia Aboulhosn—she’s literally always clowning with her BFF Shavah, being a total goofball behind the scenes, her knowledge of hip hop lyrics is pretty impressive as she is often lip syncing, and she has this cute animal voice where it gets all high when she sees a cute animal. Also, her jet setting model life.
@nadiaaboulhosn

nadia-aboulhosn-1441275114Nadia is this ultra model BABE but she’s also totally a weirdo magical person on Snapchat.

Plus Size Supermodel and Body Positive Activist Tess Holliday—she has a snapchat diary thing going on that I adore. Last week she real talked about how once she gets comfy in a hotel room it is hard for her to keep plans with her friends. She’s really good at narrating what’s going on and she is ultra jet setting.
@tessholliday

Are you on snapchat? I would love to know what you love to watch on snapchat, who you love following (and why) and any other protips for good snappin! Leave a comment below!

*Diet industry, plastic surgery, beauty industry, spending money to feel class status, etc… Don’t get me wrong, I love Sephora, but I go on my own terms because I like to decorate myself not because I think there’s something about me that can be fixed by $22 mascara.

2015-01-22

That Time Dara and I Met Abbi and Ilana from Broad City and the New Yorker Wrote About It

When Dara was going through chemo last Winter and Spring, sometimes all she could do was watch TV. TV was great because it gave her something to focus on other than the constant state of nausea she was in or how uncomfortable or painful her body felt.

IMG_7020Me and Dara, about a month out of chemo at the Dyke March. She let me paint “Fuck Cancer” on her still bald from chemo head. Because all of my friends know how much I love Broad City I periodically get texts from late adopters telling me I was right about how great it is. I try to live a spiritual existence where being right doesn’t matter to me but I do enjoy being right about cool cultural things that are awesome.

It was really important to Dara from the very beginning of her cancer diagnosis to keep it positive, so she was super interested in finding shows that were up lifting. It was also hard with “chemo brain” to watch anything complicated. She burned through Parks and Rec—so much so that I ended up missing a few episodes of the last season because I couldn’t keep up with her. She was a little stressed knowing Parks and Rec was nearing the final episode available and a friend of hers, Lalta, suggested she turn to Broad City, a new show on Comedy Central executive produced by Amy Poehler, the star of Parks and Rec.

We started watching Broad City right away and absolutely loved it. We have since watched each episode multiple times, and scoured you tube for episodes of their Broad City web series, the pre-curser to the more polished and lengthy Comedy Central show. As a cancer caregiver the belly laughs afforded by the antics of these women were really helpful medicine for my spirit, too, and Dara absolutely loved it.

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Abbi and Ilana are so charming and hilarious. I think it does what 2 Broke Girls and Girls tried to do with the early twenties women living in Brooklyn situation but with an authenticity and reflection that the others miss. It’s goofy, adventurous and New York is an important part of the show, including the street harassment, subway weirdness and other hassles of trying to live day to day here. I appreciate that sometimes Ilana’s character takes on being politically correct but to an extreme where she maybe doesn’t get it. Dara calls the show a modern-day Cheech and Chong for women.

I especially love Lincoln, played by Hannibal Buress, who you might remember from blasting Cosby for the rape rumors and Cosby’s trash talking of the Black community back in October, igniting the recent round of scandal. (If you haven’t watched Hannibal’s original comedy act in Philly about that, do.)

By the point in chemo where we stepped deep into the Broad City hole, Dara was bald bald. Combined with the perpetually youthful aesthetic so common among masculine of center queers she looked even younger, moving towards an 8 year old make a wish kid aesthetic.

20140603_173316I want to say that Dara’s diagnosis was not terminal like an actual Make a Wish kid. We knew that. But she does look kind of like an 8 year old.

It was coming up on her 39th birthday, for which she was in the thick of planning her “Chemo Karaoke” video where she wrote a parody of Pat Benetar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and got a ton of friends together to shoot it in the chemo infusion center at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. This was a huge project for her and it was great for her spirits, giving her something to focus on and made chemo kind of a project or a game rather than the really physically, emotionally and mentally devastating ongoing medical procedure that it actually is.

One night after our second round of watching Broad City, I said, “What if you made a Make a Wish video and asked Abbi and Ilana to write you into their show?” Dara immediately countered with, “I should get them to come be in my Chemo Karaoke video shoot!”

So we did it. Why not? It was a low-stakes, really fun way to spend an evening, making the video. And even if Abbi and Ilana couldn’t come to the video shoot, at least it was a way to say thank you for producing art that was really delighting us during a time that was pretty shitty. Obviously their art production is at a totally different level and reach than mine, but it always feels really awesome when people tell me that the things I’ve written, workshops or performances I’ve given made a difference in their lives. It’s never a bad time to make someone feel good about themselves, as my bestie Rachael likes to say.

20140507_230933 (1)They make Broad City toilet paper.

We had no idea how to get it to Abbi and Ilana. I tweeted at the Broad City account knowing it might not go anywhere. Then I thought, maybe through six degrees of separation we could do it, so I posted it on my Facebook wall. Turns out I know someone who knows someone who dates an executive at Comedy Central and that I know someone who went to high school with Ilana. Boom. Within 24 hours we had an email from their manager.

Abby and Ilana were busy writing the second season of their amazing show and couldn’t come to the shoot. But they did invite us to be their guests at their show the night before Dara’s birthday party. We were excited, in all our internetting we never realized they were still doing their live improv show at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade.

14299828758_e9fc7bab10_zWe got four tickets, so Dara’s friend Allison (second from left) who flew in from Atlanta for the video shoot came with us and our awesome friend Donna (far left) came along as well.

When we got there we had a huge surprise. First of all, they saved us seats in the front row. Then after they came out and performed their first act (a very full energy improvised dance to Drake’s “Started From the Bottom”), they did this whole long intro about a special guest joining them, and it turned out to be Dara! Ilana’s brother Eliot Glazer brought out a cake and sang Happy Birthday and Abby and Ilana gave her a bunch of Broad City schwag.

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Ever relentlessly documenting my life, I videotaped it.

The whole thing was surreal and it was so wonderful to see Dara so happy, when during chemo the state of just not being incredibly uncomfortable/in pain/nauseous/whatever is a victory.

The show was great and we watched them play Fuck, Marry, Kill with Natasha Lyonne. Afterwards we were out on the street and ran into an old friend of ours and were chatting for awhile and realized Abbi and Ilana were coming out of the theater. Dara decided to go up to them and thank them for everything. It was really sweet and a nice connection. They filmed a chorus of Hit Me With Your Best Shot with the gusto of seasoned improv comedians.

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Improving Hit Me With Your Best Shot with Abbi and Ilana:

It was all so thoughtful and fun and really awesome of them to do that for Dara. The next day during the epic shoot for Chemo Karaoke, it was a great story to tell. And the cake was delicious! Billy’s bakery is the shit, I worked around the corner from them for a few months and fell in love with the banana cake. Trust me. Trust Ilana and Abbi. It’s the best one.

While Dara was talking to Abbi and Ilana, a reporter from the New Yorker sidled up to me and asked my name and Dara’s name because he was trailing them to do an epic piece about Broad City. I had to go through this whole fact checking thing after the fact with someone from the New Yorker*.

IMG_20140618_180212They didn’t send me a copy of the magazine, which I think would just be polite, if you’re going to spend time doing ten minutes of fact checking.

Broad City is shooting to the moon right now! Season 2 just premiered and it’s hilarious. Abbi and Ilana interviewed Sleater-Kinney for NPR (I could not figure out how to get into that event). You can catch all of the first season of Broad City on Hulu, and I think for a limited time on Comedy Central’s app and website without plugging in a television provider. You need a tv cable provider log-in to watch Season 2. And it’s worth it!

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Here’s the finished produce of Dara’s Chemo Karaoke video:

*P.S. If you’re reporting something and someone’s name doesn’t sound “real” to you, don’t euphemize it by saying “[H]er girlfriend, who goes by the name Bevin Branlandingham.” Everyone is entitled to use whatever name they want, even if it sounds made up. No need to add the “goes by the name” because it is condescending and unnecessary and will result in many texts and tweets from uppity queers about lack of respect for chosen names. Like why couldn’t he just say, “Her girlfriend, Bevin Branlandingham…” Just saying.

2014-12-17

Introducing Hell’s Bells, Handbell Butt Choir

One of the things I am most grateful for about my living situation is that my roommate is one of my favorite artists. The things that this femme creates are incredible. Like, stick in your head remember for a bunch of years incredible.

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Last month Damien started getting a bunch of packages and I was wondering what they were. She casually said, Ariel [Speedwagon] and I were thinking of creating a handbell butt choir. I responded, “Oh, really?” But didn’t get to all of my questions about it. Which were many. How are you going to get the handbells to stay in the butt? Do you know how to play the handbells? (Damien has churchy origins so I figured some time in a youth handbell choir was likely.)

Then the night came when Ariel was over (and Lizxnn) and the handbells were opened and I could hear them in my bedroom… clear as a bell. And this was clearly a thing that happened.

So much work went into this choir. Figuring out the mechanics of making butt plugs out of handbell handles. Casting the bell ringers–finding people who were okay with Christmas stuff, playing a handbell with their butt, and at lease slightly musically inclined, plus the more difficult aspect, whether their schedule permitted both performance dates and a couple of rehearsals. Artists in NYC are busy, especially during the holidays!

1907875_734849713259779_1475339536878244670_nPhoto by Zachary Wager Scholl for Heels on Wheels Roadshow.

They had to select the songs to play out of the thousands of holiday songs out there. They had to rewrite the music for the songs in some sort of music software Damien learned, and arrange it for handbells in the correct key. And learn what a key was. And decide which four notes were the best for the butts…

10445597_734849459926471_6872289149922360399_nPhoto by Jacqueline Mary for Heels on Wheels Roadshow.

I was impressed during this entire endeavor as it unfolded at my house and excitedly went to both performances. The finished product is in the below video. (You can see my little head cackling away with Heather, I’m in the bow in the front row doing backup videography for the first performance.) TOTALLY worth a watch this holiday season!

Not safe for work (unless your work is butt friendly). It’s really funny and heartwarming. Hell’s Bells Handbell Choir!

(Also I was definitely already calling the handbell player second from the left “Jingle Bells” because of their important role in that song… but then after you see the video you know why that name will be seared for life!)

For further holiday related video wonderfulness, allow me to remind all about the amazing Leo Christmas Hammer video from last year. It still makes me cry. Miss you Leo!!

2014-11-13

New Episode of my Web Series The Lesbian Tea Basket

Hey friends! There’s a new episode of my web series The Lesbian Tea Basket up! Epsiode 29. With a backlog of unedited episodes, in this one I’m back to basics having figured out how to film myself on this computer and rating and reviewing tea.

In this episode I try some Teavana tea, iced, in a new Tervis Tumbler cup I got as a wedding favor.

The flavor is Youthberry Wild Orange Blossom Blend with Rock Sugar Sample. The link I’m giving here has slightly different ingredients than the one I was given as part of Leo’s tea stash divestment, so perhaps Teavana changed their blend? Now I have something else to investigate.

I meant to talk about my outfit in the video but I got carried away about the tea… The pink jacket with the silver flare on the shoulders was what I call a “failed resale.” I bought it when I was doing my own side clothing resale stuff online about three years ago. It never sold and I couldn’t part with it when it came time to get rid of the remnants. And now it’s part of my wardrobe.

If you’d like to check out other episodes of the Lesbian Tea Basket, here is a playlist that has all of them! I love sharing my tea adventures.

20141112_222508 (1)I didn’t manage to get a photo with the sweater on but here’s the outfit underneath the sweater that I wore to MIX Fest on Wednesday night for the Queer Rebels curated films.

2012-10-02

How I Deal with Allergies and New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket

Getting to be in touch with my body and listening to it means remembering its cycles. When I was about 26 I started getting horrible headaches every Spring that were not affected by my use of ibuprophin or tylenol! It kept happening until I realized they were sinus headaches and took the right stuff (Tylenol Sinus, my savior) which would alleviate them. I went through this cycle of “What’s happening with my body” until I finally realized that these headaches would occur every Spring and were likely developing allergies.

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Riding the Coney Island Wonder Wheel with my pal Leo. It was their first time!

Slowing down and paying attention to your body is really important for self-care. In the last few years I’ve learned how to notice what’s going on with my body. I also know how to anticipate what is coming based on this whole paying attention thing. Spring and Fall my allergies flare up. So, my allergy regime is this, which I typically start before the allergies come in full bloom:

1. Morning nasal irrigation with this Neilmed Nasal Rinse bottle situation.

2. A prescription nasal spray (I think it’s a steroid but not sure). For those of you who are uninsured like me, Walgreens is now offering this discount prescription card where my normally $78 generic spray is now only $15 per refill. This is the same price I was paying for the spray using my erstwhile $350 a month COBRA insurance.

3. Since congestion is a huge problem for me, I also don’t eat dairy or citrus (both congestants) during allergy season.

4. A daily cup of my allergy tea. Suggested by my accupuncturist when I was seeing them during the Spring, it is a combination of Nettles, Goldenrod, Rooibus and Lavender. (The former two are the allergy formula, the latter two are what I added to make it taste awesome.) I bought this tea at a great Herb Shoppe in Brooklyn that has tons of jars of herbs and allows you to make your own blends. Genius!

In general this works, and when it doesn’t I take the sinus headache medicine. It’s not perfect and I’m always adding to it, like trying acupuncture last season (it really worked!) and I am going to try an herbal remedy offered by the Herb Shoppe in Brooklyn I went to for my allergy tea. I’m sure one day when I am monied I will go to an allergist to find out if there’s a better medicine I could be taking but in the meantime this whole shebang is the least expensive way I can figure to go about relieving the allergies.

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The night I sent an all-call out to my pals to watch the Blue Moon and the Coney Island fireworks on the beach and what started as five folks turned into thirty in under an hour. Blankets and blankets of queers!

Of course, since there’s a tea involved, I definitely needed to do a Lesbian Tea Basket episode to rate and review the tea! I also asked my friend Emma Dilemma to guest star so I could ask them about their life as a cis white jewish vagabond punk femme in between jobs and homes.

On this episode we get down with some allergy tea and Emma and I discuss how they became more portable, as a lifestyle and with their personal style. We discuss insinuating yourself into San Francisco Queer Life, the sanitization of Dolores Park and some of the mysteries of Brooklyn. And Emma’s gel manicure!

And congratulations to the winner of the Gaga Feminism giveaway! I used the Random.org number generator and the winner was comment 14, Elusis. Elusis I emailed you to get your info for Beacon to send the book.

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2012-09-13

Things That Delight Me

I’m sitting in a West Philadelphia coffee shop drinking all the cheap beverages (iced coffee, green rooibus tea, soon to be followed by CHAI probably, caffeine I’m getting crazy on you) and working on my book. So far my shitty first draft* is 30,000 words long and that is an incredible jaunt down my emotional, sexual and party roads for the last four years. Someday soon I will share it with you, dear readers, in a form you can hold in your meaty paws and will hopefully make you laugh and cry and want to go out and have hot fat sex.

In the present time, however, I have some stuff that delights me that I want to share with you. A lot of it has to do with cats.

Macy loves visiting Philly because my nieces drop a lot of food.
Macy loves visiting Philly because my nieces drop a lot of food.

ITEM THE FIRST:

I am delighted to travel and am totally seeking opportunities to travel to colleges, retreat centers, gatherings, community spaces, coffee shops, rooftops to speak, perform and facilitate workshops. Here is a list of the performances and workshops I offer!

ITEM THE SECOND:

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Me and Quinn at our friends’ wedding in May.

Free form idea-creating with my friend Quinn in New Mexico about a future Cat Ranch for rescue kitties. This all stemmed from a discussion about a real-life cat circus that Quinn’s girlfriend Matie** took her to.
Q: A cat played the drums.
B: It’s like Magic Mike for Lesbians.
Q: I will freely admit that I have a DEEP adoration for cats and would have several if I could. If I lived on a farm it would be all over. ALL THE BARN CATS!
B: There was a lesbian lawyer I knew who always wanted to have a rescue farm full of rescue cats that were fixed and just got to live their days roaming in a herd.
Q: Hi I’m Quinn, Ranch Hand and Professional Cat Herder. Overalls sans shirt, kitty buttons. These are all service cats.
B: You and Matie live in New Mexico, this dream could become a reality. Imagine how happy the ranch cats would be eating lizards.
Q: And other giant fast-moving insects. PERFORMING PUSSY EXTRAVAGANZA.
B: THE PUSSY RANCH. There could be a giant vulva on a barn.
Q: Would you come help us paint it? Maybe we could get a world record for biggest painted vulva.
B: I would totally come help you paint it. Imagine all the cat hair tumbleweeds during a dust storm! You could do adopt-a-cat from afar things like they do for cows at the Farm Sanctuary.
Q: Silverbutch quinner and her cats-a-plenty.
B: Also there are folks who go from farm to farm doing workshares in exchange for a place to stay and food. Imagine the lesbians coming through town to hang out on the ranch. I hope Matie is down with this plan since we’ve basically done everything except put a down payment on the ranch.
Q: I sure hope so, I’ve already mapped out what I’ll be doing from the age 45 on. Growing catnip.
B: Did you know catnip has the opposite effect on people as it does on cats? It’s calming!
Q: I will also grow sage, rosemary, and other things to fill the lesbian tea basket and cat farm. “This is our house blend.”
B: Uniquely fertilized herbs. We can do meditation classes where people come and meditate while brushing the cats. WIN WIN.
Q: Cat therapy that caters to lesbians. Have you lost a loved one? Was this loved one a cat? Let us help you heal.
B: The annual benefit will be a CAT RODEO.

So basically we’re just a kickstarter away from making THE PUSSY RANCH a real thing.


My cat Bear.

I pushed through the screen door and I stood out on the porch thinking "fight fight fight at all costs." #anicat
My other cat ALF. I post a lot of photos of my cats and Ani DiFranco lyrics on my Instagram. @queerfatfemme

ITEM THE THIRD:

This video of the extremely talented Ashley Aron fronting the Vancouver, BC based Butch Choir called Leadfoot. It’s amazing!

ITEM THE FOURTH:

This video by Kitty Crimes called Yogue Out. If you are a fan of Leslie Hall, be it for her gold lame’ body suits or for her amazing beats and hilarious songs, I feel you will enjoy this rap about yoga.

ITEM THE FIFTH:

Helpful to the writer is a friend you can gchat and demand simply “Inspire Me” and she comes up with something like this. (Thanks Bridget, for being that friend.)

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Okay, dear readers, back to writing the bridge to the next chapter of my life…

*Much love to Anne Lamott for that liberating language from her amazing writing book, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.
**P.S. All future suitors take note that’s a great date for Ms. Branlandingham.

2012-02-03

Brooklyn! Next Thursday, February 9th, Rebel Cupcake Celebrates Prince!

The fabulous front desk gay who works at my office often hands me tidbits of gay gossip along with my coffee in the morning. “Willow Smith cut her hair!” was this morning’s news. I immediately made the obvious joke along the lines of “I whip my… wait a minute” and then it reminded me of this amazing video shot by Laura Delarato for Rebel Cupcake last month.

Athens Boys Choir performs “I Whip My Faux Hawk.” You’ll love it. A queer homage to the glory days of Willow’s hair.

And speaking of Rebel Cupcake, it’s next week! You should come! all the details are below and on the Rebel Cupcake page.

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I love Prince a lot and I think the best dance floor action for Rebel Cupcake of all time was last year’s Prince tribute.

Janie Martinez is an actress, movement artist and featured fatty on the Adipositivity Project. (I love that photo.) We shared a soulful acapella version of “When Doves Cry” last week and I know she loves Prince like I do.

LeRoi Prince is a Rebel Cupcake regular, whose debut on the stage was at last year’s Prince tribute. I can’t wait to see more. Also you may remember LeRoi from the all queer Outsiders cast.

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Ben Lerman wowed me with a ukelele version of “Super Bass” at our shared New Year’s Eve gig and I’m looking forward to his Rebel Cupcake debut.

The gourmet cupcakes from hot Femme baker Morgan Hart are themed on Little Red Corvette and the photo booth is going to be amazing and maybe Heather will let me borrow the unicorn we found on the street, a little gift from the goddess to us.

It appears the second weekend of the month is becoming the “it” month to be a queer in Brooklyn (or visit town). Hey Queen, the BFF party to Rebel Cupcake has moved to the second Saturday, and Niki and DJ Average Jo are doing a Sunday party called Low Rider. You should also join the Rebel Cupcake group on Facebook to see the amazing photo booth photos and also be in on the invites as soon as they are hot off the press.

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ALF likes the new apartment better.

I’m back shortly with another post I’m almost finished with about my inaugural experiences with acupuncture. Until then I bid you adieu from my land of boxes! (So grateful the move part is just about over and it’s all unpacking, painting and installing from here!)

2012-01-06

New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket–Hostess Gifts

There is a new episode of my web series The Lesbian Tea Basket, where I rate and review tea and reclaim tea parties for lesbians. I was heading on my Gay American Road Trip and needed a hostess gift that wasn’t too expensive and spoke to my personality. It’s great! Even if the host(ess) doesn’t drink tea, chances are if they are hosting one lesbian there will be another and we are a tea drinking people.

I have opinions about teas (obvy) and know about lesbians (I’m listening to Indigo Girls right now) so I made a big ol’ craft about it and walk you through making your own lesbian tea basket craft. My BFF Brian films and provides hilarious commentary. Also I am not wearing make-up like Oprah on a behind the scenes show or whatever. Enjoy!

Also if you want to catch all of the tea baskets in one long stream of things, check out this Steeping With The Lesbian Tea Basket on the youtubes.

2011-05-30

Video Post: Lesbolesque!

Filed under: Events and Announcements,Video — Tags: , , , , , , , — Bevin @ 9:21 pm

Darlings, if one were to name this period in my artist’s incubation (and I do feel as though this gorgeous queer Brooklyn artist community I live in is an incubator of sorts), I think this is the “Throw some glitter, make it rain” period. Thanks Ke$ha for that choice lyric. Also why are Ke$ha’s songs so embarrassing? I feel a secret shame for enjoying them.

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Throw some glitter, make it rain. Photo by Amos Mac for Rebel Cupcake.

A couple of weeks ago, in the span of two days, I performed two acts that incorporated glitter rain. They were quite spectacular, actually. Glitter rain really does add that certain something that just reading a piece to an audience or just taking off your clothes to classic lesbian hits misses.*

Anyway, I’ve been talking about my Lesbolesque act here on the blog for the last year or so, I thought I would get up a video of it. This is from the anniversary Rebel Cupcake party.

At the beginning of the video I talk about the June 1st Trans Women Belong Here benefit I’m throwing. All the info is on the calendar page. There are actually two of them, a Wednesday night dance party a cocktail party (with mocktails for those that aren’t drinking) at that really gorgeous
space I blogged about in this entry. If you’re in town come support!

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Throw some glitter, make it rain. Photo by Amos Mac for Rebel Cupcake.

*I’ve offered to go-go dance for my pals who run the Hey Queen dance party. I proposed me, glitter cannons and “whatever happens naturally.”

2011-02-15

Wyatt Riot on New Episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket

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Wyatt’s punching booth at the last Rebel Cupcake was a huge success. Glenn Marla can punch for real but he was being gentle.

I love traveling queers! Wyatt Riot quit his job and life and hit the road. He’s living the dream! I ask him about that and his fashion on the latest episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket! (And review Stash Lemon Ginger tea.)

You can buy the theme song to Put It In Your Mouth With Wyatt Riot. I just spent 99 cents for it and I’m excited.

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Silas Howard, my friend and a real director, filmed the episode. His movie Cooler is almost finished! Rebel Cupcake: Erotic CIty was a lot of fun!

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