Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2014-02-06

How to Gracefully Survive Mercury Retrograde and February Worksheet with Empowering Astrology

Today begins another round of Mercury Retrograde. (February 6th-28th.) If you’re not familiar with the concept, the best metaphor I’ve ever heard of to describe what it does is from my bestie Rachael. Imagine you go to the mall to get a black skirt. In Mercury Direct times, you’ll just get the skirt. In a Retrograde (when Mercury goes backward) you will go to the mall and never find the black skirt. But you will find something else completely amazing you never realized you might find. There are some amazing serendipities. Mercury screws up communication, contracts, technology, etc… and people are constantly stressing out about it.

IMG_5868 Me and Rachael in Atlanta in December.

Even if you’re not of the woo mind, the same “survival strategies” work to lead a balanced life. Learning how to go with the flow and respond with good humor when stuff isn’t working out as planned or communication gets all screwy are fantastic skills!

Katie, my astrologer from Empowering Astrology, has some incredible insights, which I’m posting below. (Also, if you’re ever wondering about other astrological concepts her blog is really great.)

Let’s talk nuts and bolts Mercury Retrograde. When I gave you all the heads up recently, there more than a little anxiety. I got a lot of nervous questions about signing things and starting this or that during the retrograde. So here’s my spiel:

* Life goes on during Mercury Retrograde. You just may have to retrace your steps.

* The retrograde is about review.

* Traditionally Mercury Retrograde is not a time to sign a contract, buy a car, or a computer — all Mercury ruled things. If you can wait to sign or make an important purchase or make an important decision, wait.

* My belief about Mercury Retrograde is that if you cannot afford to have something not work out, wait.

* Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of waiting till after the retrograde. If you must move forward with something, double and triple check the fine print. Be prepared to make adjustments once Mercury turns direct.

* Above all, don’t fear Mercury Retrograde. Fear is the lowest energy to create from and you are an aspect of the Creator made physical. Work with Mercury Retrograde. Go back to something that’s been on the back burner. Revise a manuscript. Try a different path. Meditate and reflect.

* Trust your own intuition. If you’re not sure if now is a good time to do something, ask yourself how it feels. Can you afford to wait?

february_woo1

This month Katie and I partnered once again to create a worksheet about using the astrological climate to propel self-development. We put it all together for the full month as a pdf download.

It includes journaling work, ritual and play–including a really fun Valentine’s Day date you can do solo, with a friend or with a sweetie. My Valentine’s Day date now completely involves construction paper and modeling clay. It’s also got some really simple activities to help you hone your intuition. Have you ever wondered how to trust your gut more?

Click here to download the worksheet!

2012-02-14

Everyday Glitter: Validation Day Edition

Hi Pals! It is Validation Day and I tend to write blog posts every year addressing this fact. So let’s just keep the tradition alive.

427422_10150569422389386_512354385_8540872_1172737705_n.jpeg
Lauren, Damien, Me and Fancy Feast at Rebel Cupcake 21: Enchanted Forest

I occasionally feel salty about the burst of couple privilege but honestly, whatever. Sometimes you got somebody, sometimes you have yourself and that’s still pretty incredible.

Everyday Glitter Item the First:
This weekend I was excited to visit my niece Etta Pearl. She was born on February 9 and just turned 3. I remembered that when she was born I was off in Toronto visiting my sweetheart at the time and was so excited to come back to the States to go meet her.

n634767925_2084005_1846

And now she’s 3! I don’t feel like I’ve aged a bit, but I have and I’m 33 now and it’s so fun to get to know and care for this tiny person who is now a person who talks and tells stories.

IMG_9972.JPG
This was us last summer.

IMG_4692.JPG

Etta’s first birthday was a tea party and her moms, Christie and Becky, have always been big tea drinking friends. I was excited to do a Lesbian Tea Basket highlighting some of their tea accessories. Etta was kind enough to co-host with me. We are also repping Sunday morning jammy time realness.

IMG_0702.JPG

I told Etta Pearl this weekend, as we played with the remainder of the balloons in the living room, to not let anyone buy her combination Valentine’s Day/Birthday presents. And then her sibling arrived this morning at 6:30AM! So as soon as Ayla Josephine is old enough, I’ll give them the birthday is separate from Valentine’s Day speech. I feel super honored that I got to spend Etta Pearl’s last weekend as an only child with her. And I can’t wait to meet little baby AJ!

Everyday Glitter Item the Second:
I was asked to be an esteemed judge for the Marimacho Hunky Heartbreaker contest. I love thinking and talking about fashion. This was a dream gig.

You can read our criteria and check out the winners here. I had a really great time with all of the folks who were judges. I really love when I am reminded there are limitless nooks and crannies in queer Brooklyn with lots of cool folks I don’t know yet. Also Ivette is a great cook and she made us enchiladas.

I highly endorse a perusal of the hunks and dandies and hunky dandies on the Marimacho Tumblr!

Everyday Glitter Item the Third:
I am struggling with my inner perfectionist about getting back to my “balance.” I keep forgetting that my whole life was just dumped upside down and it takes awhile to get into the groove of a “new normal” and also balance is an art, not a science. It’s a series of decisions regarding your self-care, your priorities, your learning how to check-in with yourself and adjust as needed. I got a pretty good groove on balance before I can get there again. So I’m finding a lot of glitter in the moments where I simply remind myself to be gentle and be patient.

I am super enjoying new rituals in my life as a way to attain balance and be tender with myself. I am learning so much new stuff at work and my brain is firing on many cylinders, so I really need to be gentle. I stop at about 5 every day, make a cup of tea, and turn on Prince for my Prince happy hour.

Everyday Glitter Item the Fourth:
Two incredible compliments from last week’s Rebel Cupcake. One regular party goer and performer told me Rebel Cupcake was the only dance party they felt like they could be 100% themselves. That is exactly the kind of atmosphere I hope to foster. Another gay couple from London was on a bar tour of virtually every gay bar in NYC and they happened upon RC while visiting Sugarland and said it was by far the best party they had been to. What a wonderful thing to say!

405420_10150569422654386_512354385_8540875_368062794_n.jpeg
Me and my new roommate Damien at Rebel Cupcake!

Everyday Glitter Item the Fifth:
My friend Jack summed things up pretty well for me around Whitney Houston’s sudden death. It’s been very sad for me to think about and process. I think anyone who has lost someone (whether through their death or other departure) to drugs or alcohol knows the loss it brings up. She was also someone who was really important to our culture and was a cultural touchstone in many of our childhoods. I remember distinctly my single mom’s record collection and how Whitney featured very prominently among those albums. Her songs were each very intense emotional journeys and they are so amazing. It is weird that Facebook is the place where most folks process this stuff, but it is part of what the internet culture has created. And I was surprised to find that Whitney’s death was not a trending topic amongst my friends this weekend–it was the ONLY topic.

Anyway, my solidarity. Drop a few Whitney quotes around your friends these days.

Everyday Glitter Item the Sixth:
Check out this new video for Eat Everything from Rocco Katastrophe featuring Margaret Cho, Athens Boys Choir and the hottie upstart De=MC2.

So, whether your Validation Day is spent with friends emotionally eating maple donuts, on a date with a longtime sweetheart, at home with your cats, on a promising first date, or someplace between all of those, I hope you are gentle with yourself and do something extra glittery, just for the hell of it. Thank you for reading my blog and being part of this amazing journey with me! xoxoxo

2011-02-26

Valentine’s Day Weekend Non-Stop Queer Style

This year’s Valentine’s Day weekend was glamorous and non-stop. There was an intense agenda of queer happenings and what better way to get my feet back into the Brooklyn swing of things after my extended sojourn in San Francisco* than to try to do everything? It began with Rebel Cupcake 10: Erotic City on Thursday, February 10th.

IMG_8874.JPG
My friend Trent who is one half of That’s My Jam.

The theme selections for Rebel Cupcake are a truly scientific process.**
It goes like this: I thought Valentine’s day is four days later… fuck Valentine’s day, let’s get dirty. Erotic stuff…. Erotic City! I love Prince.

The cupcakes were vegan this time, orange/chocolate and cappuccino flavor, made by Rebel Cupcake fan Mannie.

IMG_8855.JPG

It was a wild show that involved an impromptu punching demo by traveling Portland punching Booth Wyatt Riot, the drag Prince stylings of fresh face LeRoi Prince and capped off by the incredible performance of Epiphany. She sang a couple of songs and her version of Fuck You brought down the house.

172945_10150093886344386_512354385_5882557_4798244_o
LeRoi Prince.

172400_10150093892089386_512354385_5882686_3386203_o
Epiphany.

After truly getting down to a Prince-heavy dance party (the floor was still packed at 2:45 AM, definitely the latest I’ve seen the dance floor at Rebel Cupcake thrive at that level), my weekend kept rolling.

Friday night was the closing party/ritual for Into the Neon, a group collaborative show between many queer artists I know and some I don’t. The exhibits were incredible. I was especially moved by Daniel Lang/Levitsky’s piece about the murder of a gay man in a park in Newark. I loved Amy Agony’s reading nook with a zine library to pore through. I was honored to be included so many times in Quito Ziegler’s exhibit, she pointed out to me that me and my posse were especially prevalent on her row themed “tenderness.”

IMG_8905.JPG
IMG_8904.JPG
Daniel’s piece was a hand-cranked movie with a soundtrack you listened to. It was very haunting.

IMG_8908.JPG
Quito’s exhibit.

IMG_8911.JPG
Drag station.

There was a tree in the middle of the room surrounded by foam and blankets, which was the best place for me to enjoy the evening considering my long Thursday night dancing and nine and a half hour Shop Girl day.

Neon Pile
With Marcy and Natalie.

Glenn Marla decided to have an all day open house for his birthday party, where I rolled in at 9:30 (another nine and a half hour Shop Girl day). My thoughts are in this episode of the Lesbian Tea Basket. I went home to get ready for Hey Queen, my favorite dance party that isn’t Rebel Cupcake. I decided to change because Wyatt Riot and Jessika Fancy were planning to wear spandex and I knew I needed to up my fashion game. I did pretty well considering I dressed in 5 minutes.

180850_1813090416095_1505074549_1921685_403266_n
With my friend LJ. Photo by Jose Figueroa Fotog for Hey Queen.

I chatted with Justin Vivian Bond a bit about Femme fashion and wearing two pairs of tights on the brutal party nights (it has been an especially horrible winter in NYC). V performed a three song set at 1:30 that was just glorious.

182819_1813142617400_1505074549_1921898_8300315_n
I love Justin Vivian’s storytelling. Photo by Jose Figueroa Fotog for Hey Queen.

180839_1813118136788_1505074549_1921771_2691349_n
Accompanied by Nath Ann. Photo by Jose Figueroa Fotog for Hey Queen.

The next day was another Shop Girl day that found me sharing a leftover cunt cupcake from Glenn’s birthday party (made by Damien Luxe) with plus size super model Tara Lynn. She’s really nice and fun and was shopping the vintage racks at Re/Dress. Even a work day can be glamorous!

Sunday night was a work night, where I met up with my neighbor and co-creator Heather. She is directing and I am producing an all queer 10 minute staged reading of the Outsiders at Rebel Cupcake on March 10. We needed to watch the movie and prepare for the auditions.*** My BFF Brian just moved in around the corner from both of us and we used his big tv and our friend Michael made us chicken parm. It was perfect.

Monday was Valentine’s Day/Validation Day. I was asked to be a celebrity judge for a Nerd-Off competition at Nerd Off Production’s Nerd Love event. Since my current relationship status is Window Shopping**** I thought it would be fun to ask one of the other celebrity judges to be my Valentine.

Molly Equality Dykeman
is a piece of work. She’s a poet, butchlesque performer, a security guard, a lady chaser. I thought it would be fun shtick to banter about while we were judging nerds. Having a celebrity date was pretty awesome.*****


Maybe everything you need to know about Molly is in this video?

181997_171148382931115_100001078630149_349305_2281524_n
Photo courtesy Molly.

I required Molly to wear her finest butch accessories (in this instance a Love tie from the dollar store) and bring me a flower from the dollar store or a bodega. After exchanging gifts we took photos with Syd London for Time Out New York. She gave me a box of chocolates, a card that complimented my boobs and the flower.

182853_171148406264446_100001078630149_349306_3035775_n
Photo courtesy Molly.

I brought for her scratch-off lottery tickets, a diet coke and a cookie decorated with haiku by Kazi, a poet who works inside a Lotto stand on 53rd and Lexington.

Kazi
Photo by my BFF Brian.

The nerdiness of the Nerd Off was ridiculous. It was hosted by Kelli Dunham and Cheryl B. I had to ask a lot of nerd to English clarifying questions. It was a joy to be part of and award prizes with the other celebrity judge, Diana Cage, for such talents as “Best Use of Math Teacher Blog to Perform Erotica.”

183133_171148369597783_100001078630149_349304_2405180_n
Photo courtesy Molly.

Check out more photos from the event on the Time Out New York website.

Some of you might be wondering how I can maintain this stamina. The key is that I don’t drink much (one or two well-timed drinks max) and I wear flat shoes when I intend to dance a lot. At the end of this whirlwind weekend my feet were actually quite sore, but I felt deliriously happy and incubated in this amazing community of artists and friends that make Brooklyn my home. A community kind of love, really.

*I have been in the Mission so much in the last 9 months that Yahoo news (benignly) falsely reported that I live there.
**April’s theme is I Love Lucy (an old school show biz style line-up) because I scored a great vintage dress that is very Lucy. I just have to work on the hair style.
***Watching that movie is sort of like watching porn. It’s so hot and bromantic!
****Window Shopping is my current approach to dating given the amount of emotional work I’m doing on myself. After being totally off the market for several months, I am approaching dating again with extreme caution. I’m not going into any stores, I’m not asking how much something costs. But if something pretty catches my eye and the shop keeper comes outside I might ask about it. If the shop keeper is willing to transact right there on the sidewalk, okay. Basically, I’m not doing any pursuing and I’m letting things happen if they happen but not concerned one way or another.
*****I’m still open to a date for March 14th’s Steak and Blow Job day.

2011-02-12

Glitterpositive Valentine Sentiments

Happy Validation Day everyone!

Love Thyself
Chalk art from Re/Dress NYC by Erin Bunny Burrows.

This time of year life is inundated with prix-fixe Valentine’s Day specials at restaurants and single-phobic, glitter-phobic rhetoric. (“Don’t be different! Do everything the same! Don’t be a wild pony! Find one person to love and do it in this totally heteronormative way!”) I find it gleefully ironic that these messages are sometimes sent using glitter*, when glitter to me represents people who shine really bright and really differently without regard for trying to quiet down or dim their shine in order to woo a mate.

I am a big fan of doing good things for yourself on Valentine’s Day, partnered or not. I’ve written about calling it Validation Day before and celebrating the joy of your life on Valentine’s Day. I’m into buying yourself something frivolous, delving into the cheesiness of hearts and confetti** just because it’s fun, or getting together with friends to make lasagna, drink red wine and revel in each others’ fabulousness.

I did the last thing one year with a whole bunch of boys. I was 22, being a fag hag and hiding out from the scary world of actually risking rejection by dating queer women. If I went out with a group of gay boys to a chorus of how fabulous I was*** it became much easier than the bizarre rejection I felt in a sea of lesbians who didn’t acknowledge me out at the queer girl events. I didn’t realize then that most people are just shy and socially awkward in big group scenes, my own awkwardness exponentially increasing the discomfort.

I don’t regret those days at all. I really needed to develop a sense of comfort with the woman I was turning out to be and it was like I was in a special baby Femme incubator. I also really loved Dolce and Gabbana cologne, watching old episodes of Absolutely Fabulous and going out dancing and so did they.

I thought I would do a round-up of glitter-positive, fat positive things that have caught my eye lately and share with you so that you, my queer/gender-fabulous/glittertastic lovelies out there can revel in some glitter-positivity out there. Shake off some of that mainstream-media Valentine’s Day hype.

Queerness, for me, is my choice. I am an active agent in choosing who I want to sleep with, who I want to have relationships with, and how I politicize my life.

Glitterpolitic is one of my favorite new blog projects. How is Ashley so hot and so smart? With the addition of her roommate/blog partner Erin their tumblr is unstoppable.

IMG_7246.JPG
Ashley at the Femme Conference, with Queer Fat Hungry. Photo by me.

I’m fat positive because I’m a feminist, and I refuse to acknowledge in the magical thinking that if you’re small enough, quiet enough, compliant enough and saccharine enough, you will somehow be enough.

Great article called “Why I’m Fat Positive” by You’re Welcome.

Co-dependent love is constantly represented as the ideal. ‘I can’t sleep/think/ live/function without you, romantic partner’ leads to the inevitable crash of despair when things don’t work out because you’ve set up someone else to meet the impossible expectation of completing you. ‘Forsaking all others’ doesn’t just imply sexual partners but in a nuclear model of family, seems to also speak to friendships and extended family.

Amazing article from Crunk Feminist Collective called Living Single.

glitterpolitic1
Erin from Glitterpolitic. So much hot in one blog!!

Shame doesn’t work. Diets don’t work. Shame is a tool of oppression, not change. Fat people already are ashamed. It’s taken care of. No further manpower needed on the shame front, thx…You know what’s shameful? A complete lack of empathy.

From “Hello, I’m Fat” by Lindy West.

Go forth, live and love radically!

persianvalentines
Source.

*I love a good post-Valentine’s day craft store sale.
**My Butch Ironworker roommate is making heart-shaped mini cheesecakes for Valentine’s Day and I am very inspired.
***I have always adored nightlife fags as they are liberal with compliments.

Powered by WordPress