It was pretty bananas trying to herd animals with a bunch of people you only just met. Our strategy was to create a semi-circle and move the herd that way. It kind of worked, we were ultimately successful. I only got hit by a ram in my leg a couple of times and only got scratched up by Biblical thorny plants a little bit, but I barely noticed because it was so thrilling to get to hang out with animals.
Being fat on an airplane is a nightmare. There are plenty of places fat people go that remind us that the world is built for people who are small, even though in the US the average size is 14 and considered “fat.” Those tiny airplane seats with the arm rests are awful. The leg room doesn't allow for tall people and the seat belts are not at all consistently sized. I can be on the same airline with two legs to a flight and one flight the seatbelt will fit me fine and on another I’ll need an extender. Same exact body, inconsistent seat belts.
The trip itself was a fifty-person tour group made up mostly of participants, who came from many walks of life. There were way more Christians with no ties to Judaism on the trip than I thought there would be. (I would be considered “strong ties to Judaism” because of my partner and my Grandfather.) Maybe it was roughly third Jewish folks, a third strong ties and a third no ties? The Storytellers were from all types of Storytelling, political speechwriters, broadway performers, actors, social media managers, TV and movie producers, journalists, novelists and more.
Our schedule was packed early morning to late night with activities. Sometimes lectures at the hotel but more often out and about seeing things and hearing about them from our tour guide. We had a panel of journalists, tons of leadership development activities, tours of villages and went all over Israel from the Golan Heights to the Dead Sea, a big ol’ crater in the desert to Jerusalem, Jaffa and Tel Aviv.
I feel like I got a Master’s degree level immersive coursework about Israel, the conflict with the Palestinians, the war in Syria. Old and New Testament Bible stories come to life. Israel was nothing like I expected and the trip completely blew me away, creatively, emotionally, politically, and left me more curious than ever.
Hey y'all. Been having some difficulties on the back end of my website. I run Wordpress, and have since the beginning of this blog in 2008. In the past almost eight years I've had four big issues, three with hacks and now some backend weird issue with memory allocation. I'm still trying to get it figured out through the Wordpress tune-up service from my host. They migrated my site to a new dedicated Wordpress server, so folks who have my site cached might have to do some kind of cleansing to get to my site again. Cleansing is good for you? I'm trying to adjust my attitude to seeing this as a positive thing, even though it's stressful to be on the road and trying to manage stuff from afar. Also I got sick in Illinois and it's cutting our trip short. More on that later!
I would love to have a Wordpress expert person on call who can help me with this stuff as it pops up. (It always happens kind of urgently and I scramble to get someone to help.) Also looking for advice from folks who have blogs with lots of hits about how you handle your backend web stuff. Anyone out there know of a Wordpress expert who is taking new clients let me now. queerfatfemme at gmail
Until it all gets fixed, please be patient if you find weirdness trying to read entries on the site. And greetings and happy new year from Truth or Consequences, NM, where I have spent the past 18 hours sleeping, resting, and healing in the magical hot springs water of Blackstone Hot Springs!
Pro-tip: if you know someone going through an intense cross-country move, text them "How can I help?" Pro-tip: if you are going through a cross-country move and someone asks how they can help, take them up on it. I have had to work through some intense "I'm an independent babe, I need to appear perfect" in order to be in a place to receive help. I'm so glad I have done that work because we really needed that help. If I had said, "No, we're okay!" I would have lost out on hanging out with Victoria AND likely devolved into sobbing and fighting with Dara.
Recently a couple of bloggers I like mentioned that they were Snapchatting. When I got a new phone I decided to try it again.
Snapchat is so different now and I’m really enjoying it!
Here are some things I’ve been doing over at my Snapchat story:
Tours of where I’m at (I travel soooo much sometimes, especially in the last few months)
Narrating my favorite parts about NYC
Nightlife adventures—the last couple of weeks I’ve been going out a lot!
Cute videos of Macy
Tiny diary-like snippets (e.g. a couple weeks ago I talked about how like how I leave blank space in the calendar intentionally so I have time for mini side adventures)
Goofing off with my friends (When I hang with Victoria chances are she might be scantily clad and when I hang with Jacqueline she will usually do a boob shimmy for my snapchat viewers)
Dance party at the Bed Bath and Beyond (that happened with Dara)
A tour of a sparkly and amazing Femme apartment (Hi Bridget!)
Wedding venue I officiated
Activist movements, as in almost all things, can suck you dry—there is always more to be done, more people to reach out to, more actions to plan, more art to make, more reaching out. But at a certain point you have to be able to say, this is my limit. But we’re not socialized in a way to know what our limits are, to think thoughtfully about our capacity, and how to use self care in order to build our capacity. We're not socialized to be able to say, "Enough, I can't do this any longer." I've seen it wear down on people until disease forces them to make big life changes.
When we were driving to Northern CA for my partner to have a work meeting in San Francisco during our post-chemo road trip last Fall, she made the mistake of confusing my hometown of Castro Valley, CA with the famous district of The Castro in San Francisco. The two places are only a 30 minute drive apart, but could not be further from one another in many ways.
I wasn't so excited to show Dara my hometown, but it was very important for me to dispel any confusing thoughts she had about the two places. I share below some of the highlights.
All of the locals we interacted with were fantastic and super weird. Whether weird in appearance or not, upon interacting with them they were definitely not what I would call "normals" and were lively, fun folks.* It was the tourists who had me on guard. (Unbeknownst to us, it was Spring Break.)
That first day we wandered Key West I noticed the tourist crowd, but quickly ignored it to enjoy the beauty of the old wooden houses and taking our wander through the town. It was so lovely.
We had such a great time in this magical little cabin! I am glad we stayed somewhere unusual rather than in a motel or resort because I love having an adventure.
It was really a cross between glamping and a hotel room, as it is a room with walls, windows and a comfy queen size bed. But the sink, shower and toilet were all outside.
Key Deer are about the size of a small big dog. Smaller than a Great Dane, taller than a Golden Retriever. But SO cute. The first one I met followed me around the cabin as I took photos. Another one (although hard to tell if they were the same Doe or a different Doe) licked Dara's pajamas.